Why We Said Goodbye


I just had to call you, I had to hear your voice

And tell you I still love you, we still have a choice

You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life

And I just can't remember why we said goodbye

~Tim McGraw


It was the second time she had done it in the past three days. Why would Patricia call him instead of someone else? Sure it made sense the first time because Alfie didn't go and he was the first Sibuna members whose name popped up in her contacts. At least that's what she keeping trying to convince herself, especially after he had called her Yacker again.

She wondered why she hadn't called KT. KT after all had been the one to text her. Instead she called Eddie. Again. Twice in three days. She couldn't figure out why though. Was it even that big of a deal? Sure it was. She kept calling him. She kept calling her ex.

She knew the deep down the big reasons was that she still loved him. Now she'd deny her feelings for him if you asked. She knew she was stupid to have let him go in the first place. She couldn't even remember why she thought it was what she wanted. She knew the second she stepped away from him it wasn't what she wanted. But he didn't react. He stood there still as a statue as she walked away and boarded her plane.

Patricia wanted so badly to have things to go back to how they were before, before she made what had to have been the biggest mistake of her life. She simply wanted to be able to go up to him again and kiss him. Just be normal again. She remembers how because they refused to hold hands in public that they'd simply bump them together lightly as they walked. She wanted to do that again. She'd even let him actually hold her hand if they were in public and he wanted to. She just wanted to be his again.

Instead she lets the hurt get to her. The hurt from her own stupid decision. She wanted to get over him. She wanted to move on. Okay that wasn't even close to the truth, but she hated how attached she still was to him. She just wanted to be his or she wanted to be over him. Instead she was trapped wishing she was his and also wishing she was over him.

Her mind was snapped out of her thoughts but her ringing phone. She knew that ringtone, it was one of the few assigned tone she had. Sick Puppies' I Hate You. It was Eddie's ring. She froze. Why was he calling her? It had only been a few hours since they last seen each other. Her finger hovered over accept. Just as she was about to accept the phone call, he must've hung up.

It was probably a mistake, he probably meant to call someone else. He was over her. Why would he call her? Why would he want to talk to her? She wanted to call him back, but that would be weird if he had only called her by mistake. She knew she should have stopped herself but it was too late and she had redialed his number.

Eddie stared at the phone in his hand. He was glad she hadn't answered. What was he supposed to say if she answered? He only called because he wanted to hear her voice. Sure they had talked only a few hours ago, but it was only about Sibuna. Though he was sure hearing her voicemail wasn't much different. His phone screen lit up with an incoming call, Patricia was calling him. He figured she only called to see what he wanted. What would he say if he answered? After all if he had a question he could just go upstairs and ask, though it was almost ten. He didn't know what else to do so he pressed answer.

"Hey Yacker," he answered nervously.

"You called," she teased. He rarely heard that tone from her anymore. The joking around, the smile it seemed to bring to his face.

"Yeah um about that."

"Eddie," she growled. She didn't know how to act on the phone with him.

"It's nothing," he lied.

"Come one why'd you call," she asked. Now she was curious. He needed to say it outloud. He scrambled to press mute on his phone. Lifting it back to his face his cheek hitting the button again to unmute his phone.

"I called because I needed to hear your voice," he admitted. Patricia froze what should she even say?

"What," was all she could come out with. Pulling his phone from his ear to unmute he noticed he already had. Did he do it by accident?

"Just I had a question on homework but I figured it out," he lied.

"Oh." she frowned. She had heard him. She wanted to hear him say it again. She wanted to tell him she missed him, but as the call ended tone filled her ear, she couldn't help to be filled with disappointment.


It's been awhile... I've been so uninspired and ehh... New episode tonight and tomorrow :D and my other favorite show Psych is back tonight so...

This sucks.

BYE!