Chapter 28
It was so quiet, had it always been like this? He couldn't remember a time when it was. It just seemed too silent. Once more his hands came up and brushed over his ears, checking to see if they were plugged up, and found to his irritation that they were. They were blocked by the noiseless air around him.
With a soft growl, he abruptly stood from his rickety bed and began pacing the room. Thoughts tumbled in around his head and he winced at the ferocity behind them. Demanding and violent, they pushed to the front of his mind and stubbornly made him acknowledge what he didn't want to. What he had been struggling to suppress for the past week. One thought set apart from the others solemnly, and he could imagine it with sad, desolate eyes gazing at him pleadingly while at the same time gripping him in it's watery hands, refusing to release him until he confronted the unspoken words.
His mouth formed a thin line and he glared helplessly at the wall before him. He could feel the words creeping up his throat, coating his tongue and forming on his lips without his consent. He could feel the oncoming impact of the words, what they would do to the silence around him and to himself. He knew this, and still the words tumbled from his person like dripping liquid and stained the floor beneath him a permanent emerald green. The color of his shame, the color of his pride, the color of his thoughts, and the color of her piercing eyes as they had once stared at him with an overbearing determination boiling in their depths.
"She's gone."
The quiet shattered.
His body sagged with defeat.
For the first time since she had left over a week ago, running from the hospital clutching the fragments of her shattered heart, Gaara let himself feel the pain he had managed to keep at bay. It leaped at his vulnerable mind with open claws and a snarling smile of utter satisfaction.
Gaara hit the floor.
XXXXXX
Sakura stared at the road stretching before her. It sparkled in the fading light of the sun, rain water from a recent shower still forming small puddles here and there and making it glimmer softly like diamonds were imbedded in the asphalt. The cool breeze shifted the tall grass on either side of the abandoned street, and her eyes skimmed over the blades distractedly. The hum of the engine purred eagerly beneath her, and her slim fingers slid over the leather of the steering wheel in a reassuring manner.
Soon, she thought blankly. Soon.
Her cue came when the sun disappeared completely and darkness pressed heavily against the glass of her windshield. Her eyes slipped closed and she breathed in and out deeply through her nose, dragging in the scent of her perfume and the cars' peppermint smell. Her jumping nerves seemed to still, waiting anxiously for what she was about to do and ceasing to jump promptly to the forefront of her thoughts and distract her.
Time held no meaning in the next precarious moments of her life, and she embraced the emptiness gratefully.
Emerald orbs snapped open at the same time that her foot pressed heavily upon the gas pedal. A scream of tires on road erupted in an explosion of sound around her, piercing her ears painfully as she shot forward with enough force to jerk her body back into the cushion of her seat. Her hand found itself to the radio, turning up the racket blasting from the speakers to an almost unbearable crescendo that it was a miracle her ears didn't bleed.
--What you don't know,
won't leave a scar!!
What you don't know
hasn't killed you so far!!
What you don't know,
is who you are!!
I just give you something to talk about.
Her eyes were wide as she sped down the dangerous, slick road with abandon. Her mouth wide open and laughing hysterically and her hands clutching the wheel in a death grip. The adrenaline pummled itself through her viens, making it difficult to breathe, and yet she did not slow down. She could taste the danger coating her tastebuds with a grappling energy and she reveled in the feeling of holding her life in her own hands, having the decision to end it all with one swerve, or keep it going on the straight way.
So you lost yourself!!
Turn to someone else!!
And you can't give up your will to want to know.
Then you find yourself!!
And you're someone else!!
In the end you only get what you deserve.
(What you deserve)
Her lungs pumped in the air greedily as the screaming chorus repeated itself, making her very skin itch and blood pulse with the drumming beat pounding in the confined space of her car. A stop sign jumped into her view, and in the span of the seconds that she saw the flashing red of the sign and the awareness of just what she was doing caught up to her, a million thoughts flooded her mind.
She could end it. All this pain and anger and rage and hate and sadness and regret and misery. She could end it. She could stop it. It was so simple.
Everything became a blur as things began tumbling and bumping into each other in her head, commanding this, demanding that, pulling her this way, jerking her that way. She wanted to scream. She wanted to raise her voice to the volume and magnitude of the artist that was roaring through her speakers. If she had his voice, everything would be silent. Everything would be less hectic and more controllable.
She slammed the breaks.
The car swerved a half circle and her body jolted in the seat.
Sakura cried in the middle of an abandoned highway.
XXXXXX
He had to hear it from Ino of all people. If he had it his way, he would have preferred to hear it from Sakura herself. But that was just like wishing for money to fall from the sky. Sakura had pride, and she would never admit to him, especially him, that she had had a mental breakdown in her car on an empty street. Alone. With the dark as her companion and nothing but her own thoughts to give her a self-beating.
Naruto slammed his hand down harshly on his kitchen counter, wincing as needles and pins stung his palm. His face tightened in mild irritation and hurt, overall upset more by the fact that Sakura felt like she couldn't come to him when things got bad, than by the throbbing pain in his hand. His free hand loosened the dangerous grip he had on his telephone and let it 'clack' back to the countertop before it met an utimely demise in his fingers.
Without wasting anymore time, Naruto jogged out of the kitchen - pocketed his keys - and sprinted outside to his car. If Sakura wasn't going to come to him, he would go to her. And find out exactly where Gaara lived so that he could beat the shit out of him for deluding himself into thinking he could get away with hurting Sakura. For ever thinking he had the right to do this to her.
The squeal of tires on asphalt signaled his departure, and in seconds he was speeding down the backroads to Ino's house where Sakura lay quietly on the couch. Eyes dry, blank and her body too tired to shed anymore tears as Ino looked on worriedly from the opposite chair. It was a rare day to wear down Ino enough to where she would actually show concern for another person instead of utter dismay at smeared makeup or slightly askew hair.
Ino shifted in her seat and cleared her throat, eyeing the woman sprawled on her couch expectantly. When there was no response, the blonde coughed into her fist deliberately. Still, Sakura ignored her and Ino huffed internally. After a moments hesitation, she sighed heavily and loudly, slumping into the plush of her cushions.
"Forget it, Ino."
The blonde winced at the hoarse tone of her companions' voice. "Sakura, please just tell me what happened. Did he hurt you? Like, did he hit you or something?"
Sakura sat up abruptly from the couch. "No. He didn't." But he might as well have. His words were just like the worst of beatings....
"Was it just a fight, then?"
The broken woman swallowed and nodded her head. "Something like that."
"Well, then that's no big deal. You two will be talking soon enough, just you wait. Maybe he just wanted some space." Ino pursed her lips. "You can be a bit clingy."
Sakura let the insult slide right off her back. After years and years of Ino's company, she knew that it was just the blonde's way. She never really meant what she said, though sometimes her words did annoy Sakura. This time, she was just too tired to aknowledge her cript remarks. She was too loaded down with everything else.
Ino narrowed her baby blue eyes on her best friend, a spark of irritation burning in their soft depths. This was just ridiculous.
"Sakura," Ino ground out, watching the woman before her angrily. How dare she let a man do this to her? She was strong, not some pathetic highschool girl anymore. She was a woman! "Sakura!" she snapped when Sakura gave no reaction to her name. This time she flinched and looked up quickly.
"Get a hold of yourself, this is just...just....not like you! So what if the guy dumped you? It's his loss, damn it!" Ino stood from her chair and placed her hands on her hips, glaring down at her friend. "Quit this moping around. It's obvious he didn't care about you as much as you did for him, so you know what? Fuck him! Stop thinking about it, he's not worth all this pain you're putting yourself through!"
Sakura sat frozen on her chair. In all honesty, she appreciated Ino giving her this pep talk, but she had no idea of what she was talking about. Had she ever been in love? Had she ever been ripped to shreds? No, she hadn't. So she had absolutely no right in saying that Sakura should forget G-...forget him. Just the thought of his name had her heart clenching in her chest.
"Ino, you don't know what you're saying."
She laughed bitterly. "The hell I do. I might not have ever felt the way you did for this guy, but I damn well that no man is worth this type of suffering. Look at yourself," she threw her hands in Sakura's direction. "You're a mess. And for what? Because he told you to leave? Because he broke your heart? Listen to me, Sakura!" Ino got right down in front of Sakura's face, eyes burning. "A broken heart is just a figure of speech. You're not shattered or abandoned, alright? Look around you! I'm here, Naruto is probably speeding on his way here right now, and I bet you by tomorrow all of our friends from highschool will be on that doorstep waiting to wrap you in their arms and comfort you. Get over him, Sakura! You don't need his sorry ass! Look at what he's putting you through!!"
Sakura had believed that she was out of tears, that her body had no more tears to offer. She was wrong. Ino's words brought on a floodgate of tears and she was wracked with quilt. Ino was right, she was focusing so much on Gaara - she winced as she thought of his name - when there was no point. What had happened, happened. And she had to live with that. Right now she needed to be grateful for what she did have.
Her friends.
Ino watched Sakura cry for a few moments before relenting and sinking into the couch beside her. "I'm sorry, Sakura. That was harsh, I know, but I just can't stand by and see you put yourself through this." Her arms wrapped around her and rubbed her shoulders comfortingly. "Quit wearing your heart on your sleeve, Sakura. You're going to get hurt so much if you keep this up."
Sakura swallowed. "Never again."
Ino, for once, was completely silent. There was nothing more to say.
A cars' tires could be heard pulling into the driveway, followed by rapid footsteps and a urgent pounding on the front door. Ino sighed and rolled her eyes. "Stupid idiot, always having to be so loud." she muttered as she stood and went to answer the door.
Sakura watched her leave and gave a small, imperceptible smile. In moments a lean man with a shock of blonde hair was stomping into the room in long, rushed strides. Sakura's green eyes shot up to him in surprise, expecting him to be yelling and wildly demanding to know what happened. Instead, his strode right up to her, eyes hard and desperate with hurt and lips formed in a thin anxious line. His arms wrapped around her, engulfed her completely, and Sakura struggled to hold back another flood of tears threatening to break past her eyelids.
His fingers dug into her skin and he buried his face into her shoulder, dragging her so close to him it was a wonder she was still breathing. She didn't pull away and Naruto refused to release her.
Never again, Sakura thought again as she clutched at Naruto's comforting persence. Never again will I ever let someone hurt me like he did. I will not be broken a third time.
