A/N: Apologies it's been so long for an update, but I've been away, and trying to keep LTT readers satisfied as well. Sooo...this is it! The Writer's Conference has finally arrived! An actual writer's conference exists, and though I got locations from the real thing, I've taken a few liberties with what actually happens there (sexing it up for my own ends hehe). The name of the business mentioned is an actual business of a fb friend of mine! So I shall give you the link (minus the spaces of course) and if you mention 100 Monkeys you get a 25% discount!

http:/ yourpassionconsultant. com/ consultants/ kimspassioncorner/

This chapter is going to switch POV's a bit, as I don't want you to miss a thing...so I hope that's okay! I hope I get this right...and PLEASE let me know what you think with a review! I need encouragement from you guys to see this story through! See you at the bottom!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however own my 100 Monkeys hoodie!

CHAPTER 28 – SHITE – MEET FAN

APOV

"Good morning' darlin'," Jasper whispered as he waved a cup of camomile tea under my nose, the subtle aroma awakening my senses.

I rolled over and stretched my tired limbs, our exploits from the night before making me feel pleasantly sore. "Hey, you," I replied with a smile as I opened my eyes and focused on his pretty eyes, which lit up as he sat next to me on the bed. The fact that his eyes could capture me so attested to how mesmerising they were, since all he wore were a pair of Edward's old sweat pants and nothing else. He'd stayed with me ever since my breakdown and confession, wrapping me up in a cocoon of warmth, assurance and seriously hot fucking, even getting clothes from the dry cleaners delivered here so he didn't have to leave me.

"You'll have to get up soon. Busy day ahead," he said, checking the time on the clock radio.

I sat up in bed and he handed me the tea. I took a sip and smiled, revelling in the notion that he was part of my life. He'd made my tea just how I liked it...even sweetened it with a little honey, when he'd probably only seen me make it that way once. It was such a warm, comforting feeling...knowing that he knew me so well, even better than I knew myself sometimes, and even though we'd only just barely hooked up.

"Thanks, and I know," I said as my stomach began to do flip-flops. "I'm just glad that Bella won't find out till after she gets her article done. Even when she hates me, at least getting it finished will be some small consolation," I offered, the guilt washing through me once more.

"Darlin', she may be angry and hurt when she finds out, but nobody in their right mind could ever hate you," he assured.

"Thanks Jasper, but even if she doesn't hate me, she'll never forgive me, that much I know," I said as I took another sip of the sweet brew.

He reached out and took the cup from my hands, and then placed it on the nightstand before leaning in to kiss me. I wound my hands around his neck, the feel of his hair soft and silken as I tangled my fingers through it. Our tongues melded and I let out an audible sigh as the smell and warmth of him surrounded me. No matter how many times it had happened, every time I was with him this way, it made me feel reborn...like I'd been given a second chance at breathing.

"Alice, it may take a while, but I think she'll forgive you. Besides, I don't know how anyone can be in the same room with you without wanting to tear your clothes off and have their way with you," he whispered lustfully as his tongue slid further into my mouth, completely dominating me, and, oh how I loved it!

And it wasn't just his kisses that I loved...it was damn well near everything. I loved the way he smiled at me, assuring me that he was always going to be there; I loved the way he laughed and always made me feel at ease, telling me nothing would ever make him leave, even when I fucked up; I loved the way he held me and made me feel like I was the most cherished thing on this earth...and I adored the way he took charge when we fucked, the way he met every one of my needs...and even invented a few new ones that I never knew existed. Yep. I loved everything about him...his perfect face and body, his mind, his soul. I. Loved. Him. Oh fuck! I loved him! I loved Jasper Whitlock!

"I love you," I blurted in breathless realisation as his mouth released mine and he kissed my neck, those three significant words leaving my lips before my brain had time to rationalise the possible consequences of what they meant. His lips stopped against my skin mid-kiss and his body froze in response.

"Err...what?" he asked against my skin. Oh shit. This could not be good. Oh God let the earth open up and swallow me whole!

"Oh, nothing!" I said as I sat up straight and pressed my palms against his chest, trying to push him away. Why the hell had I just said out loud? I loved him. I said that I loved him! I'd never said those words to anyone else except for members of my family! How could that be, when I've only just gotten together with him? And even if I did love him...surely I could have kept my trap shut for a while until I got used to the idea! What the hell was wrong with me?

"You...love me?" he questioned as he lifted his head, his eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets as he spoke. I watched him and the panic began to rise within me as I noticed that his chest was heaving, the obvious shock coursing through him nearly killing me as he blinked a few times, no doubt trying to fathom what had just happened. "You. Fucking. Love. Me?"

"I-I...didn't mean to...it...just...came out...without...I..." It wasn't as though I wanted to take back my statement, but at the same time I didn't want to scare him away either. Shit. I didn't know where to look, or what to think, especially when his absolutely astounded expression didn't offer me any assurances. "Oh Jasper, can you just forget I ever said it? Please?" I begged.

He shook his head emphatically and swallowed heavily while he closed his eyes briefly, his breaths evening out, his expression softening before he opened his eyes.

"How the hell am I supposed to forget what you said? I mean...fucking hell Alice!"

Oh shit. If he wasn't gonna forget about it, and he reacted this way where did that leave us? Was he going to make a run for it now? His previous shocked expression had given way to a stare that way too intense, and as much as it pained me to do so, I knew I needed to let him off the hook.

"Jasper, it's okay. It was a heat of the moment statement...I shouldn't have said anything at all," I interrupted as I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. "I take it back..."

"Say what?" he asked incredulously.

And then a tear rolled down my cheek as I reiterated regretfully, "I...take it back. I'm sorry Jasper."

"Now you listen here Alice. You can't take it back...I won't allow it."

"Yes I can and I will," I sobbed.

"No. You. Can't," he insisted as he reached for my tear and wiped it away with his thumb. "Now, if you'll be so kind, mind hearing me out before you say anything else you might regret?" He leant forward, gazing intently into my eyes, his brow crinkling as I felt my heart thump out of my chest. I attempted to avert my eyes from him, trying but failing to break the hold he had over me.

"Look at me!" he demanded, frustrated. His eyes were intense as his face moved inches from mine and his hands clasped my jaw so tightly that I thought I was going to stop breathing. I came to the realisation that I was trapped in his tangled web, and even if I wanted to escape, I had not a chance in hell of doing that any longer.

He let out a sigh and his body trembled. His lips quivered as his eyes bored into mine. And then, I saw it...a look I'd seen glimpses of before, but never this complete...this full of yearning. His hardened mouth gave way to that lopsided grin...his widened eyes closed a little and warmed as he smiled, and his brow smoothed until the frown he had worn moments before no longer existed. He stared at me with the most loving expression that I had ever seen, his blue eyes flickering in the morning light as I felt him move so close that our heaving breaths mingled.

"Oh darlin', you don't know how many times I've hoped to hear you say that."

"Really?" He nodded his head.

"Don't you realise that I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you?" he declared in a soft but reverent voice as he swallowed heavily. He rested his forehead against mine and stared longingly into my eyes, and I could swear that a tear was sitting in the corner of one of them. I smiled at him in response as he blinked it back, and I was overcome with joy that he felt the same as I did.

"You-you do?" I stammered.

"Yes. I do. I love you Alice Cullen. Always have, always will...and I'm never letting you go," he declared in the sweetest voice as he nodded his head against mine, our noses rubbing together.

I felt a combined rush of heat and relief flow through me as I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him softly. His response was nothing like I'd felt before. His lips weren't needy, hard or rushed. This kiss was gentle and so full of longing, full of want that I literally felt the love pour out of him and flow into me. He gently ran his tongue over my lips as our tongues tangled slowly, his grip on my face tightening as he told me in his own way that I was his and that he was mine. His tongue slid in and out and searched every part of my mouth, the warmth of him incredible as he loved me. Simply. Completely.

He pulled back from our kiss and without a word, his eyes told me everything I needed as they stared at my lips and then lowered. He let out a groan as he leant forward and kissed my throat, his mouth sucking my flesh and marking me. I didn't care. I was flying too high to let anything as trivial a worrying about a hickey ruin this incredibly surreal moment. I was his. I knew it without a shadow of a doubt.

"Oh God," I sighed as my thoughts and feelings overwhelmed me and his hands found their way down my body, caressing my waist and reaching around to my ass as he slid the sheet off me and in the same movement his mouth found my nipple.

"This...is mine," he said into my skin as his eyes met mine, blazing possessively before he twirled his tongue around my skin. "And this as well," he added as his mouth found my other nipple, suckling on it until it pebbled beneath his hot, flicking tongue. Without taking his eyes off me, he ran his tongue down my stomach, circling my belly button before he flicked the centre of it, causing me wriggle underneath him. No sooner had he done that, than he was pulling the sheet off the bed and lying between my legs.

"Yours...all yours," I breathed as I watched his every movement.

"And your pussy? Your sweet, wet pussy? Nobody's but mine ever again!" he growled as his fingers spread my lips apart and his tongue flicked against my clit before he smiled up at me, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Oh God I love you Jazz!" I said as my hips jerked upward to seek out his mouth once more.

"I love you too, more than my own life," he whispered lustfully in response, his eyes burning into mine before he dove in, devouring every inch of me, his mouth and fingers sending me into sweet, sweet oblivion as his thick, wet tongue wriggled into me, claiming and lapping, probing and loving. He never left a spot untouched as he explored every inch of me with his mouth until it finally sealed around my aching clit.

"Yes!" I hissed as my hands carded through his beautiful locks and my hips thrust upward, willing him to give me everything. His reverent eyes never left mine as I watched him watch me, the jolts of pleasure shooting through me like electricity as his tongue flicked, licked and swirled around my erect flesh until I came with such force that I thought I was going to pass out. He climbed up my body and in one swift movement his pants were gone and he was kneeling between my legs, staring down at me.

"I need you," he whispered as he reached over and fumbled with the drawer, retrieving a condom. "I want you," he added as he opened the packet and rolled the rubber on his aching cock. "I love you...forever Alice Cullen." And then his body was covering mine and as his hands reached up caressed my face, he kissed me passionately before his hands trailed down my body and his hips rolled and in one swift movement, he had sheathed himself inside me.

"Jazz!" I shouted as he invaded me, my heart racing and my body clenching around him.

"Mine!" he said as he drew back and pushed himself in deeper still as he reached down and brought my knees up to his chest, his movements slow and torturous as he gently brought me to the precipice of where I wanted to be. I closed my eyes and gave into the sensation of him, and for the next little while...he did everything to show me how he felt. He made love to me.

BPOV

I smiled distractedly as we got the waiting cab, the last few days nothing but surprising and wonderful, that was, up until this morning, where I sensed a shift in Edward's mood, as if day had turned into night.

"Hilton Bellevue please," I said as I checked my handbag to ensure that I had my tape recorder and phone, pulling the latter out to check for messages. Emmett had text me to let me know that he was bringing Riley along to the conference and would be there in a few hours to get some shots once things had started.

Edward leaned back in the seat, his leg bouncing up and down as he stared out the window distractedly. Something was wrong, but I had no idea what it was that was bugging him. He'd showered and dressed before I'd even woken, and had made me breakfast, which was great, but he seemed so preoccupied...so distant. We hardly spoke and he seemed to be avoiding involving himself any sort of meaningful conversation. It felt as though something had happened last night and that to cope with it, he'd put up a wall of indifference to hide what was going on in that mysterious head of his. Of course I didn't have the guts to ask him what the hell was wrong straight out just in case it was something I'd rather not hear. Way to be brave, Bella.

"Got ants in your pants there, Caveward?" I asked with a forced laugh, trying to make light of his behaviour for the thousandth time this morning as the cab travelled swiftly towards our destination.

He glanced my way and sighed softly, a small but nervous smile creeping across his face as his demeanour slipped for a brief moment. He put his arm around my shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before releasing me and distancing himself from me once more.

"I'm just worried about what's expected of me today. I kind of agreed to the shoot, but this promotional thing at the conference? I didn't exactly expect that." His expression was suddenly pained right before the wall closed in around him once again, and I didn't buy his lame conference excuse for one second. I knew that something else was up, but since I had to have my game on and do this work thing, I decided to put this conversation off until after. As long as sometime during the day I could grow a huge pair of gonads, that is. The rest of the journey was spent with him sighing, muttering under his breath and groaning in frustration as he stared out the window. I felt as though I was about to explode with frustration right before the cab pulled into the entryway of the lavish hotel.

"Well let's get this over with," I sighed as he grunted and paid the fare without so much as a word and we got out and headed for the lobby.

We walked into the largest conference room of the hotel and I was startled by what lay before me. The room was set out in hues of pink, purple and red as well as black with balloons, streamers and spotlights focusing on row upon row of displays. An array of stallholders were peddling their wares and displaying everything from flowers and chocolates to sexy lingerie. Tall, tanned and muscular men wandered about the stalls or stood there, smiling at the participants as they made their way around the room. On one side, there was a stage with seating and on the other was a bar as well as various stalls selling food and drinks. It wasn't that I wanted to be a romance writer specifically, but this I could get used to.

I spotted Alice sitting there and gasped as my gaze was caught by the sight of what stood on display to her left. It was a life-size cardboard cut out of Edward draped across that motorcycle of Jasper's with his ass on the seat and his head lolling back over the handlebars. He looked so sexy that I felt drool gathering in my suddenly gaping mouth. In the background was a setting sun, along with hills and an open road and I began to fantasise about him and I riding into the sunset together. I just hoped that if he did ride off somewhere, he'd want to take me with him.

"Holy fuck!" Edward hissed with annoyance and embarrassment, his cheeks flushing as he ducked his head and stared at the carpeted floor. The title of the book snapped me back from my thoughts and I realised that this was neither the time nor the place to ask him what the hell was with him.

Okay, enough with this shit. Game face on, Bella.

"Well I'll be damned! The Lone Wolf eh? Jesus Christ Alice, did you write this story about Edward?" I laughed. I read the blurb underneath the picture. "Link was a man who travelled the open road, running away from a past that forever haunted him until a mysterious woman came into his life..."

"Hi Bella, and err, no. My characters are all fictional," she explained with an insistent tone. "And do you mind reigning in the sarcasm? In this arena I do at least deserve a little bit of respect."

"Sure. Sorry Alice. So, um, what's the deal? Are you gonna be here for a while yet?"

"Yes, I'll be here for a few more hours before the lecture at eleven. It's called 'Deep Editing for Psychological Power', and a leading psychotherapist and writer is presenting it. You should go along, you might find it interesting." I didn't even want to know what that crap meant. "Then there's lunch, and that's when I thought we could finalise anything else you needed for your article. You know, I could introduce you to some of the other writers and presenters..."

"Sounds great," I said as a tall dark haired man walked past wearing nothing but blue jeans and a huge smile, carrying a tray of drinks. I bit my lip before I took an orange juice from the tray and he made his way around the room. Edward cleared his throat to get my attention and gave me a look of suspicion as I inhaled the juice, wishing that it was straight tequila.

"Like what you see?" he asked as he stared at the guy over my shoulder.

"Sure do," I replied as my eyes wandered over Edward's body, which was clad in that wife beater and leather jacket and black jeans, until they landed squarely on his junk.

"So, Edward. I was hoping you could just stand next to me and look gorgeous while I sign some books if that's okay," Alice interjected. "We only have to be here till the presentation, and then Victoria's taking over this stall with her book promotion."

"Sure," he moaned as he walked around the table and stood behind Alice, right next to the cardboard cut-out.

"Well hello there darlin'," Jasper said as he approached me from behind and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Shit Jasper, quit sneaking up on me like that!" I growled as my body jumped in surprise causing me to drop my empty cup on the ground. Jasper picked it up and placed it on the tray of another passing hottie.

"Sorry Bella," he said before he checked out Edward and the likeness next to him and smirked. "Jesus Christ Edward, you sure do look purdy!" he joked. Edward growled in response, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere but here, but Jasper? He looked like the proverbial cat that ate the canary.

"So Jasper. How's things going?" I asked.

"Couldn't be better," he beamed as he pulled me in for a hug.

"Hey! Stop it with the mushy stuff will ya?" I admonished as I pushed him off me. He chuckled and gave me a wink. What the hell was with him? As I took in expression and spotted Alice beaming at him, it reminded me that I'd forgotten to do tell Jasper about Rosalie's arrival at the conference. With Edward's behaviour distracting me so much, it had completely slipped my mind. Still uncertain about how much Alice knew of Rosalie's relationship with Jasper, and considering Rosalie's response to his wayward behaviour, I decided I needed to get Jasper alone so I could warn him.

"Oh Bella lighten up! It's a beautiful day...the sun is shining and the birds are singing..." he said with a wistful sigh. Alice laughed in response and he shot her a sly wink, causing her to blush. I stared at the two of them, the sudden desire to gag near overwhelming.

"Yeh. Birds. Singing. Now before I hurl up breakfast, and since Emmett's not gonna be here for a few hours yet, how about you take me on a little tour while these two work, eh Jasper?" I suggested.

"Good idea," Alice chirped, while Edward groaned in annoyance. "Jasper can show you around the stalls and displays while Edward and I stay here," she said as a few people approached and she gave them a smile as she took their copies of Love at Sea and signed them.

"Okay. Have fun you two," I said, poking my tongue out at Edward as I looped my arm through Jasper's. He let out a grunt and stared at the two of us with the most unfathomable expression I'd seen so far...a mixture of hurt, anger, jealousy and guilt all rolled into one. Though I wanted to find out what the hell was with him, I knew that that conversation would have to wait until we were alone.

I dragged Jasper away from the two of them and we rounded the corner to the next row of displays. We passed several stalls with writers who were chatting to the attendees and signing autographs, the models everywhere as countless numbers of women filled the place and roamed around, taking it all in. I had to stop myself from laughing at the whole thing, but at the same time loved the idea of being among writers...albeit trashy romance ones. As we walked, he had this faraway, goofy expression plastered across his face, looking like a lovesick puppy. God, if Rosalie saw him looking like that at Alice, she'd tear as all new assholes, I was certain.

"Jasper, I need to talk to you about something," I muttered as I stopped and turned him to face me when I knew we were safely out of range of Alice's booth.

"Yeh? What's up?" he asked, his expression suddenly turning serious.

"Rosalie's coming here today...and she was kind of pissed off about you being in the article, so I figured I should warn you that she may be out for blood if she sees you," I said in a low voice.

"Oh. Well, err, thanks for the warning, but she's a professional and so am I. Nothing bad's gonna happen, Bella, believe me," he whispered with an assured grin as we began to walk once more.

"If you say so, Jasper," I said doubtfully as we rounded a corner and made our way into the next row, nothing catching my attention until I spotted a table where row upon row of vibrators and other paraphernalia were on display.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed as I stopped and stared, my mouth gaping as I took in the huge selection of vibrators, massage oils and heart shaped candles.

"Yeh they cover every aspect here," Jasper said with embarrassment. I briefly thought of maybe buying something for Edward and me to play with, but I couldn't get his mood out of my mind, and wondered if I'd be using my purchase with him, or if it would be a big waste of money.

"Can I help you?" said a pretty, statuesque woman with dark hair and tanned skin from behind the counter, bringing me back to the present. She wore a tailored black jacket and pencil skirt with a white shirt, the top buttons undone revealing a black lacy bustier underneath.

"Err..." I hesitated, raising a brow as I spotted a sign which read 'massage' and checked out everything on offer, and my eyes stopped at a purple massage mitt, which was covered in soft spikes.

"Oh, you have a good eye. If you like massages, this super deluxe smitten and lotion is definitely the way to go," she said as she picked up the purple massage mitt and placed it over her hand, picked up the bottle of lotion which sat next to it and squeezed a small amount on the glove.

"Really?" I asked.

"Care for a hand job, so I can demonstrate?" she asked with a wink.

"Jesus Christ," Jasper squeaked with a blush. I snorted and then burst out laughing.

"No. The name's Kim. And honey, you'll just have to wait your turn for your hand job, but I'm sure I can hook you and your girlfriend up with all the right equipment," she said brazenly.

"She's not mine, but somebody else sure likes her and her equipment," Jasper whispered, shaking his head.

"I don't know about that," I mumbled under my breath.

"Oh. Well honey, do you have a girlfriend? Mistress? Wife? All three? Because I'm free to fill a position or two if you like!" she stated flirtatiously.

"Thanks but I have a...lady friend," he said ridiculously as he nodded, suddenly blushing profusely.

"Oh what a damn shame! You're so adorable too!" she gushed.

"Jasper? Adorable? That'll be the fucking day!" I laughed. Jasper shot me a mock look of indignation as I watched Kim pick up a small bullet vibrator turn it on and shove it unceremoniously into the mitt before she walked around the table and stood before me.

"This bullet enhances the sensations of massage. I'm telling you...use this on anybody and they'll be yours forever. Or, at least until the battery runs out anyways," she said with a laugh as she reached for my hand and ran the mitt over my palm.

"Oh that feels so fucking fantastic!" I said, biting back a moan as she massaged my hand from palm to knuckles and up my arm before grasping Jasper's hand and doing the exact same thing to him.

"Oh God!" he exclaimed.

"I told you, the name's Kim. And I don't know about God, but me...I know my toys," she boasted with confidence.

"Think you can hook us up with a few of these?" I asked, knowing that Jasper wanted one as well even though he didn't want to admit it.

"Sure can honey. Can I interest you in anything else?" she asked with a questioning glint in her eye as she stared wantonly at Jasper.

"Err...maybe later," Jasper answered as he pulled out a couple of bills and paid Kim, and added, "Keep the change." She placed the items in some bags for us, and I swiftly put mine into my handbag as I continued to smile at the situation that he had found himself in.

"Wow, well that was...interesting," he said, shaking his head as he swung the small plastic bag out in front of him while we walked.

"Jasper for someone with a playboy reputation, you sure were embarrassed back there," I noted with a light chuckle.

"There's a perfectly good reason for that," he offered without elaborating. I figured he'd tell me what the hell he was on about in his own good time, but I had to admit I was curious to know more. I'd never seen him so happy.

We walked on, Jasper sidling beside me as if we were the oldest and dearest friends as we passed each display. And I guess we connected with what had gone on these past weeks. I considered him a good friend now...that was for sure. I mean, thanks to him, Emmett's career and love life was headed in the right direction and if it wasn't for him, I never would have run into Edward again. Yep, Jasper sure had made an impact on my life, and as I thought further, I wondered that since now that he and Alice had hooked up, if he could offer any insight into what the hell was going on with Edward. He was a man, after all.

"Can I buy you a coffee?" I asked as I spotted a small barista at the end of the row, and beyond that there was an area of tables and chairs.

"Sure honey," he answered. We ordered a couple of double shot lattes and grabbed ourselves a table, where Jasper proceeded to pull out a chair for me.

"Why thank you kind sir," I said, thanking him in more ways than one as he sat down opposite me and sipped on his coffee.

"You're welcome, Miss Bella," he said with a nod of his head. "So, Bella. What do you think of all this?" he asked as he waved his free hand around the room, his blue t-shirt underneath his black jacket setting off his eyes beautifully.

"It's a bigger deal than I thought. I could get into this completely, but I can't see my novel being a romance one. I'm more the pain and anguish, bitch type, you know?"

"Yeh, I know. So, you wanna write a novel huh?" he asked with a surprised smile.

"Oh I don't know, maybe. I'm a bit fed up with work at the moment," I shrugged casually.

"So have you made a start on it yet?" he asked.

"Not yet. Guess I haven't had the time or the guts to start," I answered, shrinking into my seat a little.

"Hey, it's a big thing putting your heart out there and writing a book, but I've read your work. I think you could offer something great," he assured.

"Thanks," I whispered, staring at my coffee.

"So why aren't you happy with your job at the magazine? I thought you were doing okay there." As I took a sip of coffee and watched him, he appeared deep in thought, as if wheels were turning in his head.

"Oh, it's a long story, but I don't know Jasper, I'm just not feeling things anymore. And since Emmett quit and my ex has taken his job, working there seems about as appealing as munching on shards of glass for three meals a day."

"Yikes! Working with the ex can be awkward," he commented.

"Yeh. I hope you don't have the same situation happen to you someday, because it blows, Jasper," I said with a warning lilt to my voice.

"I can imagine," he replied, seemingly ignoring my not so subtle hint. But who was I to judge? The two of them seemed happy enough. "So, Emmett quit already huh? I expected he would, considering the work he and Riley need to get done. It's good that he's following his dream. Perhaps you should consider doing the same thing..." he suggested thoughtfully.

"Yeh well...we'll see. Even if I don't write the novel, I'd rather do anything else than stay at that place."

"Well if you ever decide to start following your dream, I'd be very interested in reading anything you write, Bella."

"Um, maybe," I said, suddenly scared about the idea of Jasper or anyone else reading my innermost thoughts and feelings as I wrote them down, so I decided to change the subject.

"So come on, Jasper, spill. You've been behaving like a lovesick schoolboy this morning. Why the stupid assed smile?" I asked with an arched brow as I took a sip of my coffee.

"There's not really all that much to tell..." he answered cagily.

"Sure there isn't. Now spill or I'll go ask Alice what this is all about," I threatened.

He smiled like a goof once more, his expression one of sheer bliss as he leant closer and whispered, "She told me she loved me."

"She what?" I shrieked, feeling shocked by his statement.

"Sssh!" he demanded. "You know I can't risk anyone here overhearing our conversation."

"Oh yeh. Right. Fuck Jasper that's fast!"

"Not really. We've known each other for a long time, but I'll admit I was still shocked as hell when she said it."

"So, you told her you loved her back, right?"

His eyes darted around the room as he cleared his throat and took a sip of his coffee. As I waited for him to answer my thoughts turned to Edward as I remembered his standoffish behaviour and how closed off he suddenly seemed. Were all men that way?

"What is it with you men?" I asked, trying to stop myself from yelling my statement at the top of my lungs.

"What are you talking about? I told her I loved her back..."

I shook my head and continued, "That's all very nice Jasper, but she told you first. She put her heart on the line, waiting for you to crush it like a bug. You got off easy! I just want to know why you didn't get in there first, that's all."

"Bella, I just wasn't expecting it so soon...you know that! I've loved her a long time, but I didn't want my feelings to send her running for the hills now, did I?" he reasoned in a high tone. He was beginning to get a little annoyed but I didn't care, my sudden urge to rant nowhere near over.

"But why is it that it's up to the woman to lay her feelings on the line? Why not the man? I mean, you get involved with a woman, then tell her that you'll break her heart, but won't say why...and then...you start to act weird as fuck once you've stuck your cock in her. What's that all about Jasper? Because I really want to understand what's going on in that stupid male head of yours. Instead I feel a bit like a mushroom...you know, being kept in the dark and being fed lots of shit!"

"What are you talking about? Oh...this isn't about me and Alice is it?" he said in realisation.

"Jesus, you're a perceptive asshole, aren't you?" I huffed sarcastically.

"Okay Bella, then explain it to me. What's been going on between you two?"

"Well, Edward and I...kind of got together, but the thing is he keeps telling me I'm going to ask him to leave, but he won't say why. And now...this morning, he started to act really weird and I knew right away he was distancing himself from me. Why the hell can't you men just say what's on your mind and forget all about this cloak and dagger bullshit? I mean, if he wanted to fuck me and leave, then I could've dealt with that. But he's still hanging around...and because he is, he's confusing the hell out of me!"

"Maybe he's just trying to stop himself from feeling what he knows is inevitable. At least that's what I tried to do when Alice rejected me after trying so many times, by you know...dating anything on two legs."

"Okay, I can understand that...in a way. But this guy isn't even giving me a chance. He's acting as though he wants me to ask him to leave, but I don't want him to! "

"Yet," he mumbled. Oh fuck! What was that supposed to mean? And right then, I felt it. It seemed as though everyone else but me was in on some huge assed secret, and I was beginning to get more than pissed off about it.

"Okay Jasper, I know you know something you're not telling me. What's his deal? I know he's keeping things from me. Big things. I can sense it. Is he married or something? Does he have a secret wife and kids stashed away somewhere?" I babbled.

"No of course not," he answered flippantly, taking a huge gulp of coffee, and I was relieved on one hand that he wasn't married but confused on the other as to what secrets he was keeping from me.

"So, has he said anything to you about me...about us?" I pressed.

"No, he hasn't. And even if he had done, I don't think it's my place to tell you about it."

What the fuck did that mean? Granted, I understood about keeping confidences, but who the hell else could I talk to about this? Realising that I was wasting my time pumping Jasper the loyal for information, I said resignedly, "It's just that Em's not going to be around much and I need to talk to someone about this shit."

"You know you can always talk to me, but I won't tell you stories that aren't mine to tell. Why don't you talk to Alice? She already thinks of you as a real special friend, and as manipulative as she can sometimes be, she cares about you a great deal, Bella," he suggested.

"Yeh, she's the only woman friend I had in a long time, but she doesn't know Edward all that well, and as far as I can tell, she doesn't approve of him either. I just don't know what the fuck I'm doing, you know? I haven't been in a real relationship before..." Jasper cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly in his seat in response.

"Okay then Bella...well then there's only one alternative. Talk to Edward. Ask him to fess up. Listen to what he has to say, but before you judge him or throw this thing between you away, think about what you stand to lose if you do."

"Easier said than done. I'm not exactly sure if I'm ready to hear what he has to say."

"Regardless, if you want to keep seeing him you need to do this before you go crazy. As much as us guys don't wear our hearts on our sleeves, we still feel stuff, ya know? And sometimes it takes someone to drag them out of us...whether we like it or not."

"Great," I said, his statement not offering me any assurances.

"Look Bella, I wouldn't be telling you this unless I cared about you...and I want to help. I'll bet my first million that you have feelings for Edward that you've never had before, am I right?"

"Um, I..."

"And, you're the one who brought me and Alice together. Don't you want a shot at something great too? Just think that if it wasn't for you twisting your ankle that night at Trinity...I may never have known how great my life would turn out to be. And that's all because of you."

"Well at least something positive happened because I'm a total klutz," I agreed with a sarcastic laugh.

"You have no idea. It's as if it was meant to be, you know? I feel it strongly for the two of you as well. It's more than coincidence, don't you think?"

"I guess if it wasn't for that asshole Mike groping me, we wouldn't be sitting here, I wouldn't be thinking about quitting my job and following my dream, and you wouldn't be Alice's bitch," I justified with a chuckle.

"So...why don't you just go for it? Take the bull by the horns? It seems to me that fate...or something akin to that...brought us all together, you and Edward included. Just ask him flat out what's troubling him. He said he'd never leave you, right? It seems to me then, Miss Bella, the ball's in your court. You have the power to either crucify him for his sins, or find it in you to forgive him for them. I guess it's a matter of whether you think it's worth the short term pain for the possible long term gain. So, what's it gonna be, Bella? Shit or get off the pot?"

And it was true. Edward had told me that he wasn't leaving, but that I might order him away. Fuck I hated feeling like this, but if I wielded the power over where this relationship was going I was damn well gonna use that power to my advantage.

"I guess. I'll talk to him after this is over. How did you get to be so smart, Jasper Whitlock?" I asked with a smile as we quietly finished our coffees and stood up.

"Me? I have no idea, darlin'," he answered with an expression of innocence. "But if you find out, tell me and then we'll both know!" We both laughed as I linked arms with him and we headed back to our respective pains in the ass...but who was I kidding...we were headed back to the ones we cared about more than anything.

EPOV

It had been some morning. I had lay awake most of the night, watching her sleep, wondering what the hell to do as feelings of guilt and dread overwhelmed my every nerve. I knew I'd come to the end of this thing with her before it even got started, but I also knew that if it wasn't for Alice, I'd never be here in the first place.

And that was the bittersweet truth.

When she finally woke up and came into the kitchen, where I'd begun to get her breakfast, I just couldn't look her in the eye without feeling so much guilt that I was certain I was going to drown in it. And it wasn't just guilt I felt. I was in mourning once more...in mourning for the loss of Bella...and this was even before I'd officially lost her. I knew from the first moment I saw her that she was different...that she was special. That she was the one.

And now I was about to let go of the best thing that I'd ever had in my miserable life.

I sighed as I took her in. There she was, standing in my kitchen, dressed in my AC/DC t-shirt and shorts and the sight of her nearly made me drop to my knees and confess my sins. Was she trying to kill me here?

"Morning asshole," she said as she stood next to the counter. And I agreed with that. I was the biggest asshole in the universe bar none.

"Hey," I replied, focusing on cooking breakfast as I remained facing away from her.

"You're already dressed? Wow...and here I was thinking you were one of those slack-asses who couldn't get out of bed before midday." She walked over and pressed her beautiful body against me and placed her arms around my waist, her actions causing me to flinch.

"Careful, hot pan coming through," I explained as I closed my eyes briefly and picked up the pan, trying to subtly remove myself from her grasp without upsetting her as I reached for the spatula and plated the eggs.

"Oh, sure," she answered as she backed away and let out a little groan before going to the drawers and grabbing knives and forks.

And that's how the morning continued until we left and came here. Instead of making conversation, I felt myself behaving in my all-too-familiar way, shutting down as we ate bacon and eggs in a tension-filled silence. She tried to get me to open up, joking about my lack of conversation, blaming it on the large amount of cum that I'd shot out of my body and equating it to blunting my ability to think what with being a Neanderthal and all. But deep down I knew she was worried, as that crinkle appeared in her brow deeper than ever and never left her face the entire morning. She never asked me outright what was wrong, and if she had, I just didn't know if I'd be able to lie to her any longer. So to avoid that scenario coming into play before the conference was over, I shut my mouth, only giving her the occasional word of assurance as the need arose.

She showered and dressed in her power suit without adding to the conversation, the tension thick in the air as we left my apartment. As I closed the door, she insisted we head back to her place to drop off her things before calling a cab, and with that simple action, I knew that she felt that this could be the last time she'd be at my place just as much as I did. So much for trying to be subtle.

And now, we were here at the conference, and I wondered to myself how the hell I ended up where I was, standing here next to a life-sized likeness of myself, watching as my sister signed autographs while the women who approached ogled me and shot me lustful stares. I still found women's reactions to me odd and more than difficult to get used to, but in that moment, I really didn't give a shit about anyone else's reaction to me except Bella's.

"Edward, will you try and focus please?" Alice said. "Smile and look gorgeous...surely you can do that for the next hour, can't you?"

"Yeh, sorry," I said as yet more women approached and one of them whispered and giggled into her friend's ear as they both latched eyes on the picture and then me.

"I can't wait to read your next book, Miss Brandon! When will it be out?" the shorter, blonde one asked with way too much enthusiasm as she leered at me.

"Alice. Call me Alice. And it should be out right before Christmas," she said sweetly. Oh great. Little pictures of me were gonna be stuffing the stockings of some of America's desperate housewives. Fanfuckingtastic. I couldn't wait to get away from this entire situation on one hand, but on the other, I knew time was fast becoming my enemy, bringing me closer to my confession and therefore closer to losing Bella. And then there was the fact that there would be twenty four hours left before I told her, but I realised I just couldn't keep up the facade for that much longer.

"So, Alice. I've decided to tell Bella tonight. It's killing me keeping it from her, and I just can't wait until the weekend's over," I told her once we were alone.

"Oh," she said with a furrowed brow, her expression telling me that she was going to find it just as difficult as I was to tell Bella what we'd done.

"Besides, she already knows something's up. I've gone all emo on her, and I can't even look at her in the face at the moment."

"Well alright then Edward. How about I invite you both over to my place for dinner tonight, and I can tell her then."

"I'll be telling her Alice."

"But it's my mess, and I want to clean it up. I'll start the conversation, and you can just focus on being the supportive boyfriend while I tell Bella."

I opened my mouth to argue, but before I could, my heart clenched as I caught sight of who stood there, arms folded, eyes narrowed.

"Tell me what?" Bella asked, appearing out of nowhere. Jasper let out a groan, his eyes widening as Bella stood there, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, Bella. Um, I just have some news and I was just hoping you and Edward could come to my place for dinner tonight, that's all," Alice answered sheepishly. "It's not something I can discuss here though," she added in a whisper.

"Um, well sure...I guess," she answered, staring at us both with a combined expression of confusion and suspicion, and then she smiled a bit, staring at Jasper and then at Alice, nodding in understanding. I had no clue what that was about, but was thankful that she didn't demand an explanation then and there. That would have been awkward.

"I should be done here by six, so how about you get there at seven?" she suggested, checking her watch.

"Edward?" Bella asked, turning towards me.

"Yeh, sure," I answered with a forced smile.

"Well, it's time for the presentation and Victoria's due any minute. I'll text you my address later Bella, but for now I have to pack this up and get you over to meet with some of the presenters." I walked around the table and stood next to Bella, watching as Alice began to pack copies of Love at Sea away in a cardboard box.

"Let me help you with that, honey," Jasper said as he made his way behind the stall and placed a bag he held on the table before helping her pack the books up.

"What's in the bag?" she asked as he picked up the box and placed it on the floor, picked up the bag and pulled Alice away towards the area just behind the stall, hiding her among the potted palms that were situated at the back of the booth.

"Something for you. I sense you've been a bit tense lately, and I thought this might help," he growled as he pulled out a purple glove from the bag he carried. "And Edward? Bella bought one as well, you lucky dog!" He placed the bag back on the table as he gave me a wink.

"Oh she did?" I answered, feeling a combination of lust and dread fill me to the brim as I realised she'd never get to try her new toy out on me, but all the while hoping that she would.

"Oh Jasper! That feels sinful!" Alice squealed as he switched it on and took her hand in his.

"Yeh, it does. I can't wait to use this all over you later," he purred seductively. Unable to control her actions, Alice reached up and placed a soft kiss him on the mouth, while Bella laughed and she reached into her purse and began rifle around in there, seemingly eager to demonstrate the toy as well.

And who was I to deny her?

I laughed as I watched Bella pull out the purple glove and bite her lip as she switched on the vibrator, the sound causing me to groan as memories of using that pink toy flooded my mind. I just couldn't help it when she got that innocent but lustful look on her face, and as she grabbed my hand and took it in hers, distracting me to the point of madness as the glove vibrated over my skin, I hadn't realised that company arrived until a loud gasp brought us all back to reality with a resounding thud. In that one stitch in time, in that one slip of a moment, my world as I knew it came crashing down before my suddenly incredulous eyes as she opened her mouth, her acidic voice searing through every part of me as she ruined everything within that one blink of an eye.

"Well, well...what do we have here? A family reunion? How quaint!"

A/N: Dun dun dun! Show me the love, won't you? *runs and hides behind couch*