Chapter 28
Garrus had exiled himself to the Main Battery when he had felt Shepard lose consciousness and hadn't left in the past three days. At that point he had wanted nothing more than to rush to his bondmate's side but, after quite a bit of shouting, Tali had convinced him that rushing to Shepard would do more harm than good on a covert mission when he didn't know what exactly was wrong. And Tali had been right, Shepard had returned to him in the early hours of the morning, according to ship time, but she headed straight to the med-bay to be looked over and before he had the chance to see her Hackett had come aboard to speak with her. After he had left Shepard had locked herself in the briefing room and told EDI to keep everyone else, including him, out.
So now he was trying to recalibrate the main gun, unable to focus as he could feel Jane's pain through their bond and it didn't take a genius to figure out what had caused it. He was so absorbed in trying to correct his mistakes that he didn't hear the door open.
"Hey." Came a quiet voice from behind him, causing him to jump a little in surprise. He turned to face Jane and couldn't help but worry as her eyes seemed hollow and lifeless, her hair barely staying within her bobble as strands were scattered across her face. Not that she seemed to notice.
He was about to ask what had happened when she relayed the memories to him, too tired to speak. She stopped remembering as she reached the part where the Normandy had picked her up. Garrus stood for a few moments, unsure of what to say.
"You know it's not your fault, right?" He said and she nodded, sitting down. She smiled weakly but it didn't reach her eyes.
"I know, Garrus. I've gone over it again and again in my head and there wasn't anything I could have done differently. There aren't many times in life you can actually say that and mean it but somehow it doesn't help. Logically, I don't blame myself but then there are the moments. Those points in time when the number becomes real. When it's no longer just a number but people. Real people with jobs and kids and lives and... I know that it's not my fault and that they would have died anyway when the Reapers came but I hate the reminder that there are some things in this galaxy that I can't handle, no matter how good I am. I know that sounds like I'm full of myself but it's not what I mean... It's just easier if I can blame myself. If I know that I just needed to try harder or train more then I know that next time will be different. I can't do that this time." She finally looked at him and he saw the woman that everyone turned to when they needed help, who shouldered that responsibility without even thinking and who was often asked to do the impossible.
"You're worried about the Reapers." It wasn't a question, he could see where her thoughts were headed.
"I'm worried that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try... I'm worried that it won't be enough." She admitted, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes.
"On your own? No, it probably won't be. But together? And I don't mean just the two of us, I mean everyone. You have an entire crew willing to stand by you, not to mention friends everywhere, including the Shadow Broker. Face it Jane, you're no longer a loner." Finally her weak smile reached her eyes, but it only lasted for a moment before they returned to their hollow state.
"It's not just that Garrus... The batarians are out for blood. My blood. If the Alliance takes the fall for this, it'll mean war. So that just leaves me..." Garrus growled as he saw where she was going.
"They can't do that to you!" She shook her head, standing up and wrapping her arms around him, pulling him close to her as he tensed with anger.
"Garrus, it's me or every human. Can you honestly say that you would make a different decision?" He wanted to say yes, to say that he would defend his innocence no matter what. But he couldn't.
"So, what happens now?" He asked and she sighed, pulling away from him and sitting down, bringing her knees up to her chest.
"Now I voluntarily hand myself into Alliance custody. There will be a trial at some point but it's all political bullshit so the chances are the Reapers will show up before anything actually happens." He sighed at that, shaking his head.
"You know, you can take the fall without handing yourself over. We could run with the Normandy." She smiled at that, raising an eyebrow.
"Then we would really be like the A-Team. And I want to Garrus. I don't want to leave your side but if I become a fugitive then it would discredit everything I've ever said about the Reapers. So few people believe us that we can't risk losing the ones that do. I need to be sure that Earth prepares for the Reapers." Garrus shook his head, knowing that she was doing the right thing in a difficult situation but still feeling dread at the idea of her being torn from his side.
"So, what's going to happen?" He asked as she stood up, a little restless, and leant over the terminal, sighing.
"I've spent all of my time since Hackett left in negotiations. Luckily Anderson was the one relaying their... requests. I need to return to Earth immediately and they wanted me to hand the Normandy over as a sign of good faith." She laughed humourlessly at that last part and he put his arm around her. The Normandy was the only thing that she had and it was their home. He understood why the idea of handing it over to the Alliance made her insides clench.
"So what happened?" He asked and she sighed again.
"They said it would show good faith, I pointed out that the Normandy is private property and home to the whole crew and then they made the point that I was being arrested and the Normandy is a Cerberus-built ship based on classified Alliance designs and so they have the right to confiscate it. I then pulled out the Spectre card and told them that I was within my rights as a Spectre to take the Normandy from Cerberus and I reminded them that I was going willingly even though I didn't have to. Eventually we reached a compromise. Did Jacob ever tell you about when he served with the Alliance military?" He shook his head, he'd heard a little but not much. "He was a Corsair. They were Alliance Marines who operated on independent starships. It allowed the Alliance to disavow them if things went wrong which it often does for us. It allowed me to make a pretty convincing argument to let the Normandy remain registered to me. The problem with them allowing me to keep the Normandy is that a) they want it and b) it sends a message to the batarians that I'll eventually walk free. So, the Normandy will be docked on Earth with me and their engineers will bring it up to Alliance spec but it will still belong to me. Once the mess with the batarians is sorted or, you know, the Reapers show up, I'll be given back the Normandy to use for my Spectre assignments but also for operations on behalf of the Alliance. They'd even be willing to give me some crew members. And once I quit or retired the Normandy would remain in my possession. It took a lot of arm-twisting but they finally agreed. I just... it's my home, Garrus. It's our home. And it's not just that, I mean, what would happen to EDI if some other Alliance officer commanded this ship? So, that's what I've been negotiating all day. That and the exact details of handing myself over." She shook her head, not wanting to think about how little time she had left.
"How long?" He asked hollowly and she sighed.
"They've allowed me just enough time to drop everyone off at the Citadel before I head back to Alliance space to rendezvous with one of their ships and hand myself and the Normandy over. We'll arrive at the Citadel tomorrow morning. I've already told everyone else and helped them to iron out plans to help people prepare for the Reapers while I'm locked up. Liara's going to keep track of them all for me and, if it's okay with you, relay the information to you. Not that you have to do anything but just... keep an eye on them all for me? Please?" He shook his head, disbelieving. She was about to be locked up, for doing nothing more than carrying out her orders, for an undetermined amount of time and she was worried about the rest of the crew.
"Of course I will, ani. I'm more worried about you." She took a deep breath and nodded.
"I know, Garrus. But, I'll be okay. Anderson's going to head back to Earth with me to make sure everything's okay and to help with preparations for the Reapers so I won't be completely alone." She reasoned but the pain of what was to come was clearly evident in her voice.
"I'm guessing the Alliance won't let your turian bondmate come with you?" She shook her head.
"No, but I think that's for the best. As much as I want nothing more than to be with you, you need to be with your family right now, Garrus. Plus, between Liara and the crew we have every base covered; Samara will prepare the asari through the other justicars, Thane will spread the message through his contacts across the galaxy including the Drell and Hanar, Miranda will deal with the Cerberus bases that she knows of and will try to figure out what the Illusive Man is up to, Mordin will go back to the STG and prepare the Salarians, Grunt will go back to Tuchanka to train and help Wrex to prepare the Krogan, Zaeed will still go after revenge but along the way he'll spread the word through his merc contacts, Kasumi will go into hiding but she'll get in touch with as many of her underworld contacts that she can, Jack will go off and do her own thing again but I have a feeling that, whatever it is, it'll mean trouble for Cerberus, Legion will go back to the geth and prepare them, Tali will return to the Migrant Fleet and make sure they're ready and Jacob doesn't really have a plan yet but he's promised to get in contact with a lot of old friends to get them to prepare. So, that pretty much covers the entire galaxy except-"
"Except the turians." He finished for her and she nodded.
"Yeah. Think they'll listen to you?" He sighed, leaning against the wall as he thought about it.
"I don't know. Maybe. I've got to try at least." She nodded. She knew the feeling.
"I put you as my next of kin on the paperwork. Hackett and Anderson know to contact my mom and dad but no one knows to tell you if anything happens." She reasoned.
"I guess we never did finish telling our families, huh?" She shook her head.
"Well, your dad doesn't even arrive on the Citadel until tomorrow afternoon and my parents won't show until the day after so I'm going to miss them completely." She sighed. God forbid anything should go as planned.
"I'm guessing the paperwork didn't have a checkbox for bondmate, huh?" She shook her head.
"In the Alliance's defence, they do have a box for 'other'. I guess that pretty much describes us, huh? 'Other'." She smiled weakly and he smiled back.
"'Other' is a pretty good description but I might have a better one." He reached behind his cot that hadn't been used in months and pulled out a flat, square jewellery box, handing it to her. "I know you're not really a jewellery person but I also know that it's human custom to get a ring so I compromised..." He said as she opened the box and found a simple gold ring on a chain.
The inside of the ring lit up blue and when she ran her finger along the edge blue light projected from several points, converging on the centre and projecting a holo-recording upwards. In the recording she and Garrus were standing side-by-side, a little dishevelled and in their armour but grinning at each other as they laughed and joked, eventually holo-Garrus pulled holo-Jane in for a kiss and she raised her middle finger, presumably to a catcalling crew. She recognised the recording as one Tali had taken just after the Collector Base in order to remember their victory.
She touched it again and the recording changed to one that had been taken a few minutes later when Shepard had caught Tali recording and had insisted that they get a recording of the entire crew. They were all tired and a little shell-shocked but they smiled as they rode the high of accomplishing the impossible.
Touching it again brought up a holo-recording Garrus had taken of her, her Gran and Kara all laughing and smiling a few days earlier.
The final holo-recording was an old one that had been on her original holo-locket of Jane, her parents, her Aunt Riley, Sarah, James and Bella. It had been taken not long before Mindoir was attacked and it captured them all perfectly as James and Bella fought with each other silently as their mother tried to get Sarah to pay attention instead of messaging her friends. After a few seconds holo-Jane grabbed Bella around the middle and hoisted her onto her lap and gave James a look, shaking her head and smiling as her mom smiled at her and her dad put his arm on her shoulder.
Jane smiled and, for the first time since she left the Normandy to find Kenson, it reached her eyes and stayed there as a tear fell down her cheek. She raised an eyebrow at Garrus about the last holo-recording and he shrugged.
"You should probably change your omni-tool password once in a while." He explained and she laughed a little.
"What did I ever do to deserve you?" She asked, at a loss to explain how the unlikely series of events that was her life had ended up at the point where, despite being put in an impossible situation that meant her incarceration, she felt like the luckiest person alive.
"Funny, I ask myself that pretty much constantly." He replied and her smile widened.
"Me too." He lowered his forehead to hers and her fingers traced their way up his neck, finding a specific point. "Turian customs don't involve rings, though." She pointed out.
"No. Bondmates are pretty much it in turian culture but they usually have the bondmarks." He explained but she already knew that, evident by the fact that she had found the point on his neck where bondmarks would be placed.
"It doesn't seem fair to just use human customs." She reasoned and he shook his head slightly.
"I guess not. Although you don't have talons and your skin hasn't scarred since you upgraded your implants." She smiled a little.
"I can improvise and the upgrades can be turned off for long enough for it to scar up. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me, ani." His heart leapt when she used the word for bondmate.
"Same, ani."
Shepard stood at the Normandy's airlock, ready to say goodbye to everyone as they want.
"Keelah, Jane. I hate saying goodbye." Tali said, hugging her friend.
"It's not really goodbye, Tali. I'll see you again once this has all been sorted out. I promise." Tali nodded and Jane recognised that she was smiling.
"I'm going to hold you to that." She said, giving Jane one last hug before disembarking. At that point Legion appeared.
"Shepard-Commander, we wish to thank you. Not many organics would trust the geth and even fewer would agree to help us. You have shown that we are not that different after all." Jane smiled at that.
"Thank you, Legion. I'm glad to have met you and to be able to call you a friend." She said, still smiling as Legion nodded his head as joined Tali. Grunt then approached her.
"Battlemaster, it has been an honour serving with you and if you would let me I would crush every single one of those idiots trying to lock you up." Shepard shook her head, grinning.
"You can't solve every problem with violence Grunt, but things would be a hell of a lot easier if you could. Take care of yourself, okay?" He laughed at that but nodded.
"Of course, Battlemaster." With that he left the ship and in his place Jacob appeared.
"Shepard. It's been a hell of a ride, huh?" She nodded.
"You can say that again. Thanks for sticking with me through it, even after I told the boss to shove it." Jacob nodded at that.
"It's been an honour, Shepard."
"Same here." He nodded again before disembarking and allowing Miranda to take his place.
"I just wanted to say thank you, Shepard. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with but you still went out of your way to help me and to make me feel included as part of the crew." Shepard smiled at that.
"Hell Miranda, I'm sure I made your job an absolute pain when you were still reporting to the Illusive Man." Miranda nodded a little, smiling.
"But if it wasn't for you I'd still be reporting to him. I owe you, Shepard." She said before moving towards Jacob. That's when Kasumi appeared out of thin air in front of Shepard.
"Well Shep, it's been fun. We should really do this again. Maybe minus the Collectors and dead Reapers, though." Shepard grinned at that.
"But where's the fun in that?" Kasumi grinned back.
"Shepard, your skill at deceiving everyone into believing that you're harmless is almost as good as mine. And I don't often say that." Kasumi joked with enough sincerity to show that she meant every word.
"I'll take it as the highest compliment." Shepard joked back, also sincere.
"Well, see you around I guess. Or not, never can tell." Kasumi said as she disappeared again.
"Same." Shepard said to the air in front of her as Zaeed appeared.
"You're goddamn crazy kid, but a hell of a fighter. You ever need a favour, just call." Shepard smiled and nodded at that.
"Back at you. I'm gonna miss having you around, old man." She said and he nodded.
"Same, kid. Don't get yourself blown up." He said, moving off.
"I'll try but no promises." She yelled back at him as he walked away and Samara approached her.
"Shepard, it has been an honour." Shepard nodded at her.
"The honour has been all mine, Samara." Samara nodded back.
"I wish you luck."
"You too." And, with that, Samara took off and Thane took her place.
"Shepard. I wished to thank you for helping me with my son and... for being my friend." She smiled at that, feeling a little awkward.
"Thane, I am the queen of solitude, I know all about not having any friends. So, believe me, when I say that it's no problem. And thank you, for being my friend." He nodded, moving to join Samara as Jack approached.
"Fuck, Shepard. I hate this shit." She frowned and Shepard shrugged.
"I'm not big on it either. Goodbyes suck." Jack nodded.
"Yeah. Never really cared enough to say goodbye before. So, see ya." She said, shrugging.
"Yeah, see ya." Shepard replied as Jack left and Mordin took her place.
"Shepard. Good working with you. Been an honour." Shepard nodded.
"Same here, Mordin. I'm going to miss having someone intelligent to talk to." Mordin smiled, handing her a small bottle of blue liquid.
"Apply to bondmark. Should scar and allow you to re-activate implants." Shepard grinned, shaking her head.
"When did you make this up?" She asked and he shrugged.
"Just after Horizon. Expected him to mark you earlier. Turians territorial." She smiled at that.
"Yeah but he's also nervous and awkward. I guess it's why I love him so much." She said, shrugging.
"And here was me thinking it was my ruggedly handsome good looks." Garrus said as he appeared behind her, his arm over her shoulder.
"Well, there is that, too." Jane said, shrugging.
"Have more ideas for cybernetics but require more time. Hope to see you again to apply them." Shepard grinned and Garrus shook his head.
"I look forward to it, Mordin. See you." Mordin nodded and moved away, leaving Garrus and Jane alone.
"I guess this is goodbye, huh?" She said, smiling but he could see tears begin to form in her eyes.
"Yeah, I guess it is." He murmured, running his hand through her hair as his eyes locked with hers.
"Dammit Garrus, I'm going to miss you so much." She sighed as he lowered his forehead to hers.
"I'm going to miss you too, ani. I love you." He murmured and she bit her lip to stop the tears from escaping her eyes.
"I love you too, ani... I guess you have to go." She sighed, not pulling away from him.
"Yeah." He agreed, also not pulling away. They stood like that for several minutes before she laughed a little.
"I really don't want you to go but..." She said and he sighed.
"I know..." He pulled away and she felt her heart go with him.
