Hello my Darlings! I know it has been a long time, but hopefully this chapter will quench your STWC thirst.
Disclaimer: Characters were created by Stephanie Meyer, but I make them do cool stuff! The song in this chapter is "Just By Being You" by Steel Magnolia.
On with the story!
Chapter 27: Stars and Angels
I replay Alice's vision over and over in my mind. The sight of Riley biting into my father's juggler like a rabid animal consumes my thoughts. I have never felt so much anger and hatred in my life! When staring into the eyes of my father's murderer I felt as though I could kill him with my bare hands. My anger fueled a surge of energy that ran through my entire body begging to erupt. It was then that I had noticed the lightning strikes and thunder. I was causing it and the power was seductive. It was an outlet for my rage and as the rain fell I realized it burned into Riley's skin like acid.
Although the rain left my family unharmed, Jasper suffered its sting. It was not intended to hurt Jasper, but I had no control over it. I watched as Riley and Jasper fled to the shelter of their covered porch. I wanted to chase the murderous blood sucker but my family restrained me. I looked back at Jasper and saw the hurt in his eyes. Yet with the pain I caused him he still managed to mouth the words 'I Love You'. And with those simple words, my rage dissipated and I was consumed with grief.
We were now in the sun room of Masen Manor after Aunt Sam teleported us here. Alice was in Nana's arms crying at the vision she had just seen. I sat on the bare floor my arms wrapped around my knees trying to keep myself from falling apart. Within seconds I felt a warm gentle hand touching my shoulder.
"Edward? Are you alright?" Aunt Sam asks with concern in her eyes.
"I don't think so," I answer honestly.
Sam sits next to me on the floor and cradles me like a baby. I could not fight back the tears any longer and they flow down my cheeks like a river.
"It's alright Edward, let it out! ….Let it all out," Aunt Sam says.
And I do. The tears fall uncontrollably.
"He killed him Sam….he killed my father," I cry.
Sam says nothing. She just holds me… rocking me back and forth…trying to still my sobs.
I hear Sam crying softly as she comforts me and I see Nana also has tears in her eyes as she comforts Alice.
"I am sorry my darlings," Nana says. "I never wanted any of this for you."
"Being a witch comes with a price," Aunt Sam says as though she is speaking from experience. "It is not an easy life to live. But don't worry, we will protect you. We will teach you. Nothing will happen to you."
Sam breaks our embrace and walks over to Nana.
"Mom, they have to be taught. There is no turning back now. They need to learn how to protect themselves. You teach them the elements…I will teach them to fight. We won't lose anyone else!" Sam says in a manner I had never seen her express. She was bold…confident…she was a soldier.
Nana looks back at Sam and nods in agreement still holding Alice. At that moment I knew, Aunt Sam had given up on avoiding her powers. She was entering the war once again.
"And what about our sorcery?" Alice asks. "Who will teach us that?"
I saw Nana go rigid. It was obvious she was uncomfortable with the idea of us using the power of the spirit. Nana scared into silence stares at Aunt Sam.
"They have already used the power. Edward showed us this tonight," Sam says.
"We do not know it was him!" Nana says unconvinced.
"It was me," I admit. "I felt it."
"I have done it before too," Alice says.
I look at her questionably.
At Seth's party when you were fighting Mike. I didn't think I was responsible for the lightning that struck the tree. I was scared and angry and all of a sudden the energy in me exploded. I know now that I did it.
It all made sense. Alice and I have been doing this for awhile. We just didn't realize.
"If Patricia is right, and they don't learn to control their sorcery it could harm them. Patricia says they will lose control of their emotions. They will lose themselves and become angry…even violent. We have started to see this with Edward already," Sam says giving me a considerate look.
It was true. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster this past month. With everything going on in my life anyone would consider this normal. But I knew this is not normal. I want to fight….I want to kill…I am so angry!
Nana looks at me, knowing Samantha's words are true.
"I don't like it," Nana says. "But I fear you're right. They must learn to control this power. We have no choice but to seek Amelia and Patricia's help. They must teach the children."
"Oh my god, Grams and Aunt Pat!" Alice exclaims as if suddenly realizing something. "They need to know what happened to dad!"
"No! I don't think that is wise," Nana says.
Aunt Samantha looks at Nana confused.
"If Amelia were to know what really happened to her son, she and Patricia would set out to destroy the entire Cullen clan. I fear they would die trying. We need them to teach Edward and Alice," Nana explains.
Samantha was about to argue but Nana continues to speak not allowing her to interrupt.
"And if I am completely honest, I do not believe that all of the Cullens should be held responsible for Riley's actions. I did not inherit my mother's gift of truth seeking, but I believe Dr. Cullen's words to be true," Nana says.
"So you are saying Riley should go free?" Sam asks shocked.
"Not at all! He will be punished! But not by the Masens. They need not know at this time," Nana answers.
"No! I am tired of secrets!" I feel my anger erupting again. "Our whole lives have been one big secret. Our heritage….this stupid war…what happened to our parents. No more secrets! I am sick of it all! You have been keeping secrets from us for too long!" I say angrily at both Sam and Nana and a mirror hanging on the wall across from us instantly shatters. We are all taken by surprise.
"Edward, calm down," Sam says calmly. "We were only trying to protect you."
But this only makes me even angrier. "By keeping us ignorant of that fact that we are targets in a war? A war that until today we had no clue existed?!" And suddenly the windows to the sun room fly open. The wind flies through the room knocking over books from the mantle and scattering loose papers.
"It appears your sorcery powers are driven by anger, Edward." Nana says.
Let's try a different approach. I hear Nana's thoughts.
"You are right Edward, we should not be keeping secrets from each other. We are family. We must trust and protect each other. That is the only way we will get through this," says Nana. But my anger is still at its height and the room is still in chaos with flying debris.
"With that said, it seems Edward that you have been keeping a secret from us also?" Nana says suspiciously.
I immediately become nervous and scared. For a split second, I had forgotten that Jasper has confessed his love for me in front of my family. There was no use hiding anymore. Nana knows I am gay.
The wind leaves as quickly as it came and the room comes to a quiet stillness.
I look at Alice and her eyes are wide. Aunt Sam simply smiles at me lovingly.
"Yes," I admit. Now I have to eat my words. No more secrets. I have to tell them. But no matter what I do I can't bring myself to confess to Nana and Sam. I am too scared.
"Edward?" Sam says putting her hand on my shoulder for support. "Are you gay?"
I look at her then at Nana. I had no choice.
"Yes," I say before looking at the floor in embarrassment and shame. I thought I was done with being ashamed of it. But I guess I wasn't completely. I could care less what my classmates and assholes like Mike Newton thought about me. But my family….my grandmother and my aunt…if they turned away from me….I would die.
Nana steps forward until she is standing directly in front of me. I can't bear to look at her.
"And the Cullen boy…Jasper…. I take it he is more than just your friend?" Nana questions.
"Yes….No….well he was…"I say still not taking my eyes off the floor.
Then Nana places her hand under my chin and forces me to look up at her.
"He is quite handsome," Nana says with a smile. I am overtaken by surprise. Was she kidding?
"WHAT?! You are not angry?" I say in shock.
Both Sam and Alice giggle at my reaction. Nana just continues to stare at me lovingly.
"At at what part should I be angry, Edward? That you are gay? Or that you were dating a vampire?" Nana says staring into my eyes.
Until Nana said that, it never occurred to me that she would be angry I was in a relationship with a vampire. I mean it was obvious she would be, but I never thought about it. It is partly due to the fact that even though I know now Jasper is a vampire, it hasn't settled in. I don't see him as a vampire. To me he is just Jasper.
No, the only fear I have is that Nana would be angry with me for being gay.
"I was worried you would be upset with me when you found out I am gay," I admit.
Nana's face suddenly changed to one of disappointment. There it was….what I feared. She was upset.
"Edward, join me outside. I think we need to talk," Nana says calmly as she exits Masen Manor.
I look back at Aunt Sam and she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. With that I knew that Sam didn't care. She didn't have to say anything. I knew she loved me either way. This was a sense of relief but I was still worried of how Nana was reacting to the news. I am so confused. Is she upset or not?
I look back at Alice before exiting Masen Manor.
Don't worry Edward. It is going to be okay.
I hope Alice is right and follow Nana outside. The wind is still and no clouds are in sight. The night was beautiful. The full moon shined in the middle of the sky surrounded by hundreds and thousands of bright stars.
"Beautiful aren't they?" Nana says looking up at the sky.
"What?" I respond.
"The stars. You don't see them all too often in Forks. You know when I was a little girl, I could sit outside for hours just gazing at the stars. My brother used to tell me that each one of those stars was one of our ancestors looking down on earth… looking down on nature…guiding their children…lending them their power," Nana says with tears in her eyes as if she was remembering something painful.
"I didn't know you had a brother," I say surprised.
She looks at me tears clearly evident in her eyes now.
"I did. His name was Jackson. He wasn't a gifted witch but he had such a passion for our heritage. I learned everything I know about herbs and hot to keep a garden from him. You remind me of him a bit. He was so smart… and caring…. a little shy…and so selfless. I loved him very much," She says.
"What happened to him?" I asked curiously.
"Jackson killed himself when he was 18. I was only 12," she answers.
I was speechless. Why would he do such a thing?
Without verbalizing my question Nana answers.
"Like you, Jackson was gay. He never told me but I always knew. I walked in on him kissing one of the local farm boys who lived down the road. They were in the barn tending to the horses. He never noticed me of course, so I kept it to myself. We lived in a different time back then. People were much less tolerant of homosexuals and looked at them as pure evil. This included my Daddy.
One night, I woke up to screams and banging in the home. I found Daddy beating Jackson to bloody pulp screaming that he would not have a faggot for a son. Jackson pleaded for Daddy to stop. He pleaded with Daddy telling him that he wasn't gay. I could only assume that Daddy had caught Jackson with the local farm boy. It was that night that my gift showed itself and I shielded Jackson from Daddy. But it was a little too late. The damage was done and Jackson was very well beaten. Mother came in shortly after and scolded my father for what he had done. But after my father explained to her that he had seen Jackson with another boy my mother turned on him too. She told Jackson that if it ever happened again, they would send him away to be fixed.
I was too young to understand what it all meant. I couldn't understand how this could have upset my parents so much that they would abandon their own son.
We had been trained as witches ever since we were 3 years old so I took Jackson that night, and healed him using herbs and stones like I was taught. When he was completely healed, Jackson wouldn't look at me.
"It is not true Merelda," is all he would say.
Even though I had seen him the day before with the boy in the barn, I simply nodded my head and let him think I believed him. I know now that was the wrong thing to do. He didn't need me to believe him. He needed me to accept him. To tell him it was okay. That I didn't care, that I loved him anyway.
Days after the incident, my brother wasn't himself. He stopped practicing the craft and would not sit with me outside to see the stars. I worried about him, and my parents wouldn't even look at him.
One night, I decided I would confront him and finally tell him what I should have told him that night of the incident. That I loved him no matter what he is. But when I walked into his room I found Jackson dead. He had taken my father's pistol and shot himself in the head," Nana says as she begins to sob.
"I cried. There was so much blood. The body in front of me didn't even resemble my brother anymore. But it was Jackson alright. Why would he do this to himself? I tried using magic to heal him but it was no use. He was gone. The worse of it was that my father didn't care. Mother mourned, but daddy showed no emotion. I cried for weeks after his funeral. I adored my brother. He was my best friend. I could tell him anything and he would do anything for me. But since the night of the incident I was angry at him. Why would he kill himself? Why would he leave me alone?
One night I had gone outside to look up at the stars like I had done so many nights before. I had studied them so often that I practically had all the star configurations memorized. But that night, I noticed one that seemed as if it was out of place. I was sure I knew them all, but this one was new… and as I looked at it closer it twinkled and the words of my brother ran through my mind.
I never had the chance to tell my brother that I loved him no matter who he decided to love. But I will not miss the opportunity with you Edward," Nana says tears in her eyes as she stares into mine.
At that point tears start running down my face. I felt so many emotions. Initially I felt grief and sympathy for Nana. I couldn't imagine losing a sibling nonetheless finding him the way she did. If anything ever happened to Alice I would be inconsolable. At the same time I was relieved that she didn't find me disgusting. But more importantly I felt love…love for this amazing women that is in my life.
I start crying uncontrollably from the rush of emotions and she takes me into her arms and just holds me as I sob into her.
"I don't care that you are gay Edward. I love you no matter what," Nana says as I continue to cry into her.
"I love you too Nana….so much," I say easing my cries. I am relieved. She doesn't care! Nana has always had an old fashion way of thinking I thought she would condemn me for being gay. But she doesn't. She loves me. Why did I ever doubt it?
We break our embrace and spend a few minutes in silence just gazing at the stars.
"So it appears Jasper has some very strong feelings for you also," Nana says subtly breaking the silence.
"Yes," I say.
"Do you feel the same way?" She asks.
"I don't know. I thought I did. But after tonight….I am not sure… I am so confused," I admit.
"Do you believe he is to blame for what happened to your father?" Nana asks.
"He is a vampire Nana and his brother killed my father!" I say answering her question indirectly.
"True. Riley committed a terrible crime, and he will learn to never cross a witch! Especially a Bennet witch," Nana says threateningly.
"However, I must admit the Cullens are very unusual. I have never met vampires like them before. But as I said earlier, I do not believe all the Cullens to be responsible for Riley's actions. In fact, if I am completely honest with myself, I believed Dr. Cullen and Jasper. I believe they spoke the truth," Nana confesses. "I think what convinced me was when Jasper caught you before you fainted. The way he looked at you… 'I got you, Angel.' He said. Why does he call you Angel?"
"I do not know," I admit.
"Hmmmm….yes a peculiar vampire that one is," says Nana.
"So are you saying I should trust Jasper?" I ask utterly confused.
"Oh I am not saying anything," Nana says smiling. "I am still uncomfortable with trusting vampires…and to be perfectly honest would be weary if my grandson wanted to date one. But, something about this vampire is unique….special…I can't put my finger on it."
"Nonetheless, you must be the one to decide what to do with your relationship with Jasper. Not I. But know, no matter what you decide I will be here supporting you….and watching him like a hawk!" Nana says with a playful yet very serious smile.
"Thanks Nana!" I say hugging her.
"Anytime Edward. Or how did Jasper put it? 'I got you, Angel.'" Nana says teasingly.
I blush then laugh at her humor. We gaze up at the stars one last time.
"Nana, which one of the stars is Uncle Jackson?" I ask curiously.
Nana looks up to the night sky and points to a bright star in the east.
"That one," she says with tears in her eyes.
"I wish I could have met him." I say.
"Me too Edward….me too."
We walk inside to the Manor and Aunt Sam and Alice must have gone off to bed because everything was still and quiet.
I couldn't blame them. This had been one busy and crazy day. My mind was on overdrive with everything that was revealed today. I just wanted rest…I wanted sleep. Maybe when I wake up tomorrow I will find out this is just all a dream. One can at least hope.
As I begin to crawl into bed and battle with sleep I hear something gently taping my window. I dismiss it thinking it is just a bird nesting in the corner, but the sound only gets louder. I get out of bed, make my way to the window and open the blinds. Taped to the glass window is a note written in black ink.
Edward, you must believe me when I tell you that neither I nor the rest of my family knew about what Riley did. It came as a shock to all of us.
You always ask why I call you Angel. I think you deserve an answer.
The note is short, but it is obvious who it is from. I look out the window to see Jasper standing in the middle of the yard. He stood there with his guitar in hand and he never takes his eyes off of me. I don't know what it is about his eyes that always makes me forget everything. It is as if they hypnotize me and take me to a place of peace and tranquility. When Jasper sees that he has my attention he begins to strum his guitar and sing.
Let's run away,
Where nothing stands between me and you
Let's find a place somewhere a little closer to the truth,
And call it a home
Where there is no right and there's no wrong
And we can be all alone
And I'll take off my halo, if you take off your wings
You don't have to be invincible cause I sure ain't no saint
You'll always be my angel no matter what you do
Cause you take me to heaven just by being you.
Tell me a secret
Tell me things that no one else should know
Even in your weakness
Baby drop your guard, just let it go
Until everything's exposed
And you don't have to feel ashamed
Baby, just say my name (ohh)
And I'll take off my halo, if you take off your wings
You don't have to be invincible cause I sure ain't no saint
You'll always be my angel no matter what you do
Cause you take me to heaven just by being you.
When I see you standing there
You know it all becomes so clear
The way you look, the way you talk
I need the way you lift me up
This will never feel complete
Until there's nothing in between
And we have broke down every wall
Baby baby baby baby let's just fall
And I'll take off my halo
Yeah, and I'll take off my wings
You don't have to be invincible cause I sure ain't no saint
You'll always be my angel no matter what you do
Cause you take me to heaven
Just by being you
Ohh, you take me to heaven
Just by being you
Let's run away
Let's run away
Jasper stood there staring at me.
I love you, Edward. I think I always have.
Jasper's thoughts overwhelm me.
"Edward, if you don't go out there and kiss him, I will!" I hear Alice shout from her bedroom window on the second floor.
Why am I not surprised that Alice would be listening?
I didn't know what I was doing. It was as if my body took over and I was acting only on instinct and desire. I crawl out my window and walk towards Jasper without taking my eyes off of him.
Jasper looks at me with hopeful eyes. And I knew. Despite everything….I am hopelessly in love with Jasper Cullen.
I stand directly in front at him gazing into his beautiful baby blues and aggressively pull him in towards me kissing his lips and tasting him. The sweet taste of vanilla consumes me. Just like the first time.
So it looks like our boys are back! Thoughts?
