Author's Note: This chapter's not quite as long as the other two, but there's only so much arguing you can write about. Meh.


"You're idiotic scale hasn't been the least bit helpful!"

Steve stood by Agent Barton, whose face was just as uneasy as his own, eyes moving back and forth between the two arguing before them.

"I wouldn't be here in the first place if you knew how to find a good gift for your girlfriend," Natasha hissed back, barely controlling her anger.

"You act as if I were the one to call you here."

"So now you're blaming Clint? Wasn't it bad enough that you used him to commit your crimes in a sick attempt to earn your daddy's love?"

"...I apologized?"

Steve looked over at Agent Barton, attempting to tune out the other two, asking, "Do you think we should just keep looking without them?"

"Unless you happen to have in-depth knowledge of either Darcy or just the wishes of women in general, it's probably best we just wait it out," the other man responded with a defeated sigh.

"I guess you're right," Steve said reluctantly. "But they're kind of making a scene," he added, looking at the ever-growing crowd of people watching them from outside the shoe store that they were still in, even after another hour of searching.

"Those people would have gathered there eventually," Barton said with a snort. "I mean, everyone knows who you and Loki are. Sooner or later they would have found their way here to see you guys. Their fighting just made them gather sooner."

"Still," Steve said before clearing his throat, hoping to catch their attention, only for them to continue arguing. "Guys?"

There was no response aside from the bickering, which Steve could tell had somehow gotten completely off topic. Honestly, what did kitty litter have to do with anything that was going on today?

"Guys!" Steve yelled, sighing in relief when they both turned to him, despite their less than happy expressions. "Can we please go back to shopping?" Steve asked desperately, feeling odd doing so.

Never before had he thought he'd ever beg someone to let him go back to shopping.

"That's the spirit, Time Capsule," a familiar (and completely unwanted) voice exclaimed, followed by mocking applause and an exaggerated groan from Steve.

"As if it wasn't awkward enough," he muttered. "Who invited Stark?"

There was a short pause, Steve and Agents Barton and Romanoff all turning to look at Loki accusingly.

"What?" Loki asked, confused. "I barely know how to use my phone."

"I invited myself," Stark said as he came into view, followed by Dr. Banner. "And Bruce. I invited Bruce, too."

"What the hell are you doing here, Stark?"

"Well, my buddy Bruce and I came up with a wonderful theory on how to better control the big guy, but when we went to share this discovery, there was no one there to bask in our awesomeness. So, I tracked your cellphones."

"Look, you can tell us your theory later. We're kind of in the middle of something."

"What could be more important than what I have to say?"

"We are Christmas shopping for Darcy."

Stark looked at them, then at Banner, asking, "You heard Reindeer Games say Christmas shopping, too, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Hey, it's a lot harder than you might think," Barton said in their defense. "We've been here for hours and have yet to find anything."

"Did you try asking Jane?" Bruce suggested, only to be ignored as Tony asked Loki what he got Darcy last year. "I'll just, just stand back here then," he mumbled awkwardly.

"I got her lingerie that I conjured."

"That's my boy!"

"Disgusting," Natasha said.

"You are the one who said clothing was an acceptable gift for a best friend," Loki pointed out.

"Not clothing that's sole purpose is to be worn for five minutes and then ripped off."

"That's the sole purpose of all clothing," Tony said with a snort.

"You're a pig."

"He is still more pleasant company than you."

"Thanks, MegaMind."

Bruce pursed his lips, moving to stand beside the only other two calm people in their group.

"How long do you think this is going to last?" He asked them, referring to the three-way argument.

"Well, when it was just Nat and Loki, they argued for about an hour straight. With Tony thrown in the mix, do you think the fighting is more likely to end sooner or last longer?" Clint asked, eyebrow raised.

All three men looked at each other, glanced at the arguing trio, stating in unison, "Longer."


AN: Yes, Tony and Bruce have arrived. I feel sorry for Bruce, though. He's the only one to come up with the obvious solution to their problem yet they ignore him. Sigh.