Hey you guys, another week another chapter! If I am being honest this was going to be the last chapter and I was going to end it without the sugar coated happiness. But I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I am sure you will be happy to know that you are stuck with me for a good few chapters yet!

So here is the next instalment of 'Sweet D' – oh niceoneBlondie that made me smile like a complete goon when I received your review in the middle of Tesco...hope you haven't had to have any more conversations with your missus about missing me too much! :D

But yes, I haven't done a dedication for a while so this one goes out to Lazyhazy8228 because I now feel selfish for missing her reviews when her latest authors note has revealed that her life isn't all roses at the moment...this one is for you, you awesome lady! I hope it brings some joy to you!

Enjoy...

Chapter 28 – Just Don't Think

Emily:

Feeling her lips against my skin for the last time hadn't killed me, watching her walk away hadn't killed me, the thing that had put the final nail in my emotional coffin was the fact that she was hurting for something that really wasn't her fault and there was sweet fuck all I could do to help her. She had let me in, she had told me everything and instead of offering her any sort of aid, instead of believing that it wasn't all about me, I just stood there and didn't fucking do anything. She probably would have preferred me to tell her to just fuck off, it would have made more sense, she had after all just told me that if she had one regret about the past few months it was getting with me...but I hadn't done anything. I had just stood there and watched her walk away, taking everything amazing about my life with her.

"Are you going to stop fucking moping? It's been almost a month and we have a company to run; with, need I remind you, six hot girls to take your mind off of her and three clients that needed their prints...YESTERDAY!" I couldn't blame Katie for being angry, ok...I could blame her, but I didn't want to, she was right, I needed to stop wandering around feeling sorry for myself and get back on the proverbial horse. Naomi loved me, she knew it...I fucking knew it, not that it changed anything. When I managed to drag myself home; Cook was just grabbing the rest of her stuff and couldn't even smile at me as he walked past...I knew he blamed me. If I hadn't come along and "stole Blondie's heart" his life would still be partying with his two best friends and occasionally looking after his little brother. It hurt that he thought this was all my fault, I wanted to hunt him down and scream at him that you can't help who you fall in love with but at the end of the day it wouldn't bring her back...probably just piss her off.

"Yeah, let me get dressed bitch..." Sometimes Katie didn't get the message unless it was yelled and spat in her face, considering my mood at the moment I was more than happy to oblige. She smirked her typical 'fuck you slag' smile at me before slamming the door and shouting at whoever was listening that she was going to hurt the next person that pissed her off. I love my sister.

I was functioning, just, putting a brave face on anything and trying to persuade myself that everything will get better eventually...even if Naomi had stolen my heart before disappearing into the abyss. I just fucking hoped Cook was looking after her, I was more than sure he was the reason she had left and if he was being a cunt then, if I ever got the opportunity, we were going to have words. Part of me wanted to hate Naomi but the only time I saw red when thinking about her was when my mind ended up wandering over her naked body and settling effortlessly on her perfect tattoos. I couldn't even slightly dislike her, if anything I loathed myself for not showing her the strength I had to give, I had promised myself I was going to be there for her, be her rock and her shoulder to cry on...but instead I had just watched her walk away.

Staring at myself in the mirror didn't help, I saw her hands on my skin every morning and her arms wrapped around my waist every night before I went to sleep. Everything in my room reminded me of her, the desk that she had practically fallen over whilst nakedly trying to escape my grasp and sometimes I thought I could still catch a brief flash of her perfume in the air or on my pillowcase even though I had fucking washed it at least twice since she left. My brain resembled a Naomi shaped mush and I was struggling to comprehend anything other than feeling sorry for myself and trying not to rock on my bed crying because of just how big the hole in my heart is now she has gone.

"Emily for fuck sake..." One of the best things about my sister is that if she has something to work for she turns into some kind of maniac that won't rest until she has either pissed off everyone or started to actually make some headway. Somewhat similar to a Rottweiler with a postman, the poor bastard will either end up running or bitten, she had a way of getting people to do things; generally the way she fucking wanted them done. At least one of us was enthusiastic about Alternative Reality, I still didn't see anything other than Naomi every time I walked into the studio, and her fucking camera was still there for fuck sake. I had tried being a quivering mess, briefly, locked away in the darkness of my room crying in absent memory of someone who had touched my soul. I had tried sitting and staring out of the window, watching the world pass by in her nonexistence and crumbling from the inside out, but I was stronger than that, I was Emily Fucking Fitch and even though Naomi had left a big gaping hole where my heart should be, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I was yearning for her every single second of every day that had passed since she had left, but I wasn't going to crumble, I was going to stand strong and believe that everything will sort itself out.

"Yeah...I'm coming." The only shit thing about pretend strength is how fucking draining it is, trying to hold some form of reserve against everything just ends up making you weaker if nothing gets better in the end. And right now I was starting to not see the point anymore, but I had to keep going. I just fucking had to. I threw on my giant hoodie, it is my own personal opinion that every girl should have a hoodie at least two sizes two big just for comfort and insane amounts of ice cream, before deciding to actually go and join Katie to do something vaguely productive.

I was still madly in love with the world of Alternative Reality; it was probably a good thing I had something to attempt to focus on even if it was something that reminded me of how fucking awesome Naomi and I had been. But someone had to offer some creative input, for all her business prowess, Katie had the imagination of a garden hose and I couldn't expect Effy to do it all. Miffy was lending a hand wherever she could; she had a fucking genius brain when it came to thinking through what would look good on camera, bitch waited until two weeks into the project to tell us she had a fucking qualification in photography. She and JJ were cooking up a storm and it was looking pretty damn good, a few more shots should finish two clients' projects off quite nicely.

"What do you think?" One of the best things about Miffy was that she was constantly seeking improvement, that and she was fucking photogenic so that each shot was verging on perfection anyway.

"It's fucking brilliant babe, seriously some of those expressions are insane, couple more shots and we should be done...I'm just sorry your first professional photo shoot is for Punky Fish." She laughed at possibly the worst moment and ended up almost spitting coffee over the computer, it took some intense self control for her not to swallow the boiling liquid rather than covering everything, me included, with it.

"It's cool; we've all got to start somewhere...so where are we going next?" I envied her for having such enthusiasm, she was no younger than me but she had such life, such excitement over something that I had helped to create, and part of me actually wanted to hate her for loving it more than I did...even if I did have reason not to. I just turned to her and smiled, it felt so good to actually smile at something again, if I was being honest, Miffy was such a happy person it was hard not to be pulled along with her current of joy and despite jealousy over her happy go lucky lifestyle I was so fucking pleased to have made such a friend.

"I dunno, you tell me..." In a weird way I saw something familiar in her, she made me feel safe and for a few hours every so often could make me forget just how shit my life had become. Made me stop thinking about how empty my life was without Naomi and helped me to appreciate just how much fucking worse it could be.

"You could always go and tell her how you feel; it seems that everyone but her knows that she needs you right now." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I had forgotten that for the few plus points my sister had she was still at heart a gossiping bitch who had probably told everyone in the room my own personal business. I suddenly realised that I was scowling at my shoes and decided that my Fitch evils were a hell of a lot more productive if directed towards the person that had pissed me off in the first place. I looked up and immediately regretted my decision, Miffy was standing and everyone else had kind of filed in behind her, including Katie, my big bad sister sending someone else in as the sacrificial lamb just encase I turned nasty. In fact the opposite; I could feel my expression soften as I looked upon the pain etched on everyone's faces; it was hard to be even remotely angry at a group of people who actually seemed to care about you.

"What is this?" I tried to force as much strength into my voice as possible but it seemed I was running on empty as even with conviction it was barely above a whisper. Katie, JJ, Effy, Panda and Miffy were stood at the forefront of the group that had become such good friends in the past months, they were all looking at me with sad eyes, I watched as Miffy took a step back towards me and raised her hand slowly until it was resting on my shoulder. I would have shrugged it off, but the half smile that accompanied the act of compassion made me just want to collapse back into that mess from which I was only just starting to recover.

"Naomi was here this morning before you guys got here...she picked up all of her stuff and apologised for running..." It was then I pulled away, my head was spinning with the immediate questions twinged with the regret that I hadn't bothered to get my arse out of bed because there may have been a chance to see her again. I felt like a complete cunt that after everything my body and heart still ached to see that fake blonde hair, those piercing blue eyes and that figure that always managed to drive me crazy.

"Shut the fuck up...I miss the part where I am supposed to care..." Anger took me over then; I don't think it was anger at anyone other than myself. I was so livid at the fact that I still cared, so fucking pissed off that just the mention of her name could shake me right down to my core.

"You love her so of course you care...She needs you Ems, fuck it...she needs all of us, whether she knows it or not she is hurting and blaming herself. We all need to grow a back bone and just be there for her." If there was one thing I hated more than myself at the moment it was when someone I had known little over a month made more sense of my increasingly fucked up life than I did. Miffy was just looking at me, her face an echo of some of the depression I had felt over the past few weeks but her eyes were full of concern, worry over me and everything I was going through.

"I can't." It was then I broke down, all the tears I had been saving to cry in the darkness by myself came flooding out of me and I found that I had to cling to Miffy tightly to avoid crumbling completely. She just held me, wrapped her arms tightly over my back and supported me as all the emotion that I had bottled up came flowing out in wave after wave of shuddering tears. I cried until it physically hurt to intake breath, I shook until it no longer felt like my knees were going to be able to carry my weight...I let out everything that Naomi had destroyed within me when she left, I released everything until I ended up knelt on the floor feeling nothing but empty. It felt like forever until I could regain some control over my body, a lifetime until my heartbeat returned to something resembling normality...but Miffy didn't let me go, she gave me her strength and it was in that moment that I knew she was giving me exactly what I should be giving to Naomi.

"You can, you just have to be there for her, fucking tell her that you'll never her let go through any of that shit alone...just give her the love everyone knows you hold for her." In that instant I knew I had been a coward and as I felt my own strength returning I knew exactly what I had to do. But there was one problem, one resounding notion that I had overlooked and now seemed key to the rest of my fucking existence.

"I don't know where she is..." I had no bloody idea where she would be, how was I supposed to make everything right if I couldn't look into those piercing eyes to do it.

"It's Freddie's trial today at the crown court in town, she said she was going before she left..." It was Panda's voice but in some way it didn't sound like her, I had never heard her utter a sentence that didn't contain words that really made absolutely no fucking sense. My predicament had even caused Panda to have a crisis of personality in which she actually resembled something near society's perception of 'normal.' Silence descended for a brief moment as my brain tried to return to some function, I couldn't let it, after getting rid of all the depression I had within me I couldn't let myself start thinking again...I finally had found the strength that had been inside me all along to do what I should have done in the street that day. Tell her that nothing she could do would get rid of me, that I was with her to stay and that whether it was all I was doing for the rest of my life I would be her shoulder to cry on and her rock simply because I loved her endlessly. I was never going to let her fall.

"Right...who's going to drive me? I don't think my nerves will allow me to be safe behind the wheel..." I asked the question openly and felt my heart swell as pretty much everyone in the room dangled keys in my direction...I had some fucking awesome friends and it was partly due to them that I knew I could get Naomi back. Miffy was right...she needed us to get her though it. I smiled briefly before motioning to Katie to get her arse in gear and get the car ready. Miffy took my hand and we walked out into the fresh autumn sunshine, leaving JJ in charge of putting the finishing touches to a few shoots, I remember her putting on her incredibly brilliant white rimmed sunglasses and smiling at me before Katie pulled the car up.

"No one has to be alone..." Her last words of wisdom before we pretty much leapt into the car and drove off in search of my heart.

So I couldn't end it in this chapter with an unhappy and depressing ending...largely because my girlfriend threatened to kill me if I did so but also because I felt that the resounding appreciation I have received for this story deserved better.

It just means that you are stuck with this story for a few more chapter! :D

If you feel like leaving me a review...please do! I love to hear just what you guys have to say about each chapter, even if you are a first time reviewer...feel free to have a moan or tell me you are enjoying it! Every review I get really does mean the world!

Big love to you all – but you knew that already right! :P