"Dear Heart, tell me why I'm in love with someone I can never have?"

- Nicole Radithobolo


PART 28


Tony never learned how many bottles of scotch it takes to make a god drunk. And frankly, he probably never will. Soon after the deal was struck, Loki ignored Tony's one request, and left the basement heading straight to the liquor cabinet. With several boisterous protests, which mainly consisted of snarky insults, Tony tailed Loki, staying on his heels the entire time. Loki didn't speak once or turn to face the shorter man square in the eyes at the insults. He only had one thing on his mind, dispose the poison. Banish every bottle and can containing Tony's vice from his house. Nothing else could or would sway him otherwise. When they finally reached the living quarters where the liquor cabinet and bar stood Loki half expected Tony to fling his body upon it. His arms would be outstretched and he would promise to no longer drink, so there is no need to take away his liquor. Sadly, that did not happened. Instead, Tony bit his slightly curved index finger; his eyes were squinted, and head cocked to the left. It looked more like he was watching a beheading with a guillotine, rather than a god making his liquor disappear.

Before the alcohol was banished, Loki did promise it would not be gone forever. While it is no longer in the house it still exists. That he can pull all of it out whenever he wishes. What Tony got out of it was that Loki has some magical safety deposit box that floats in mid air. It can fit anything and everything, and most importantly, it does not have a tangible appearance. So, there is no way to find it, and break into it.

After the disappearing alcohol trick, Loki vanished as well. Deciding not to stick around for any possible exaggerated withdrawal symptoms Tony may start to show. However, as soon as he returned to his apartment, he was half tempted to return to Stark and see how many bottles it would take for him to get drunk; for Amora is standing in the center of his apartment. A leather-bound book in her hands as she paced around the small living space. The yellowing pages were opened, and Loki could see she is only a few pages in to where his marking crease is. She is reading at Much Ado About Nothing. "I never saw you as one for romance Loki." She said her eyes not once moving from the pages. "Tragedy. Yes. But a romance. That may have believable when we were children, but not now. These past years, you have been a firm believer that you would never love. You scoffed at Sif's infatuation with Thor. My desire for Thor. And I also believe you have threatened to kill that mortal Jane on several occasions. Not that I would mind her death." She said with a shrug. "I came by a few weeks ago. You were not here. Working on this new plan to take down the Avengers I hope." Her pacing came to an abrupt halt as she shut the book and placed it back down in its corner on the floor.

Loki gritted his teeth, seething as Amora went back to strolling around his apartment. "Did I not tell you, I would summon you when you are needed?"

"Yes." She admitted, her fingers now grazing the window as she wandered past it. "But it has been long since then. I was curious what you have been up to. You were not hiding here in your apartment. You have not even attempted an attack on HYDRA, who still want your head might I add. Ophelia has been training non stop for a second fight with you."

"She is of no importance." Loki spat with rattlesnake venom. "What is important is stopping these Avengers. And that takes time. Everything needs to be perfect. I will not fail this time. Too much rides on it." Loki spoke as imagery of red and gold started to form, but banished it quickly.

"Yes, Yes. Your throne. Humiliating Thor." She waved him off, "But still Loki. I cannot help if you continue shutting me out when I ask questions on this plan of your. If I don't know what the next step is, how do you expect me to get anything done?"

"Why are you so anxious to attack Amora?" Loki questioned his eyes finally meeting her own. "What is it your not telling me?" His voice hissed, not wanting Amora in his presence anymore.

"The same could same said about you Loki." She said slyly. Those words caused his body to stiffen. Stark. How could Amora possibly know about him. What they have been doing. The crime both are committing together. That no matter how many times he has told himself to push away, he always gets pulled back into Tony. "These past few months, you have been more secretive than usual." Her voice now returning into its usual sultry tone. "I have known you since childhood Loki. I was the one who introduced you magic. Aided you in your cause many times. If you cannot trust me. Who can you?"

Stark. That name popped into Loki's mind at this question. No. If he trusted him, he would not have kept his visit to Karnilla to retrieve the Norn Stones a secret. He would have told Tony. Told the whole story. And yet, he has told Tony so much about him. His past. Emotions and feelings he can tell no one else. The emotional turmoil caused by his family. Maybe he cannot trust Stark completely. But he definitely puts more stock in him than Amora. "You know that answer Amora. The only person I can trust completely is myself." He replied back darkly. "And as I have told you before. I will inform you when you are needed. All the pieces are making their way on the board. So all that is left to do, is to wait it out. There is still something we will need Stark. Iron Man. Perhaps the beast as well. We cannot strike until then."

"What is it we need from them?" she questioned, her fingertips now touching Loki's shoulder as she whispered into his ear. "Does it have something to do with the assistant no longer being in her eternal slumber?"

Loki's eyes slithered to the left in disdain from being touched by Amora so. "I have told you too much already Amora. So I suggest you go back to your post and wait like a good girl until I summon you."

"Remember Loki, a good girl can only wait for so long." She replied back sarcastically before vanishing from sight.

As soon as she disappeared Loki sat on the floor looking out his window. Amora, what was she really thinking coming to Loki? What does she really know? She could be bluffing. Getting him worked up over nothing. Either way it seems like he needs to take extra precautions. Make sure Stark does not come to his apartment again. And Amora for that matter.

Holding his hand out, his book vanished from the floor and appeared in his hand. His fingers traced the cracking spine before letting the book fall open to a random page. All he could do was pray it didn't fall on Much Ado About Nothing. He felt like with all the times he has read it, he practically has it memorized.

Oddly enough, it fell open to The Taming of the Shrew. A short and breathy laugh escaped his lips as he read the title page. He began reading, getting lost in the story, and actually, sincerely laughing in the midst of reading. He shut the book closed, realizing what has happened. He actually laughed. How long has it been since he felt such a true and honest emotion? When he is with Stark, quite often. But alone, with no one around him it has been so long. Maybe. Just maybe. Stark is changing him. More so than he has realized.

First he felt guilt hiding the whole truth from Tony. Now he is feeling genuine laughter from a book. No. No. He reiterated to himself. He is not changing. Stark is not effecting him. He is not some weak minded sap. There is no way. One man. One simple mortal cannot be changing him so. Tossing the book to the side, he stood up heading into his kitchen to prepare a pot of tea.

He leaned against the side of the wall while waiting for the water to boil. His fingers drumming against the countertop. Finally, the water is boiling and Loki prepped his tea as usual, but after it was done and he took the first sip, something seemed off about it. It didn't warm him or relax him as usual. All it did is bring back memories of the tasteless cup Tony made him. While the flavor was lacking, that cup warmed up his entire body. This cup. This tea he makes the same way every time, left him feeling empty, hollow; wanting another sip of Tony's tasteless tea. He smashed his cup to the ground, allowing the shattered pieces of porcelain to cover the tiled floor. Both hands grasped the countertop as he glared at the dark granite. He breathed focusing on a silver speck among the sea of back and nothing else. The first step is allowing his mind to become calm. No longer caught up in any emotions that make him think of Stark. Once his mind is clear, he proceeded onto step two. He waved his hand over the shattered pieces of the floor. The cup pieced itself back together, looking as pristine as it appeared before he smashed it to the ground. Placing the cup back on the counter, he left his small kitchen and headed to his living room. His desire for a cup of tea had completely vanished. His attention then moved to his leather-bound book. He didn't want that either. The two things that normally relax him. Give him peace of mind. All they have done today is give him conflicting desires. No. Loki is just lying to himself. Convincing himself they are conflicting. Deep down he knows, they are not that conflicting. He knows exactly what he wants.


Tony sighed, inspecting his liquor cabinet after Loki vanished from sight. Not only is the liquor gone, but so are his glasses, mixer, and well everything but the cabinet in itself. It looks like coffee is going to be his new liquid life, so he went into the kitchen, pulling out the coffee maker and bean grinder. As he watched the slow stream of brown liquid fall into the pot his mind wandered to Loki. Did he really fear that much of Tony dying from alcohol poisoning? Is Loki actually showing signs that the prince he used to be still exists? And the greater question, does Loki himself know the walls he has put up. The darkness that he shrouds himself in. It slowly diminishing. The dark cloud still exists, but perhaps it is closer to a shade of grey instead of black.

He grabbed the coffee pot, pouring the dark liquid into a light blue mug, drinking it black. He walked back over to his bar, looking at the open empty cupboards. His shoulders slumped as he finished off the last drop of the warm bitter drink. "Sir it appears Dr. Banner, Captain Rogers, and Agent Barton are approaching the perimeter. Shall I grant them access?" Tony cocked his head curiously. He was not expecting them to come over, let alone be in Malibu.

"Yah, Jarvis, let them in." He said closing the empty cabinets shut. Tony paced around his living room for a few minutes. He needs to erase Loki from his mind before his friend come in. Go back to being Tony Stark; genius, billionaire, playboy, with an ego that cannot be contained in any galaxy, or the known universe for that matter. Hearing Clint's animated chatter he turned around ready to greet his friends.

"Stark, you grab the brews. I got the cards." Clint said, waving a blue card box with a black spade on it. "Texas Hold'em." A smirk wide across his face as he led the other two men into Tony's living room.

"We thought you could use a break." Steve interjected. "Christmas is in a few days after all. And Bruce said you have been working hard, almost daily, on the magic restraints." Tony's eyes shifted to Bruce who was avoiding eye contact at all cost. It is obvious Bruce is not proud hiding the truth. Lying about how Tony is actually working on the magical restraints. Tony wants to speak to his brother in science privately. See what he exactly told the rest of the team. He knows it was not the truth, if it was, a game of poker would be the last activity the team would be doing with him.

Bruce's eyes meet Tony's for only a second. It was long enough for him to catch Tony torquing his head awkwardly as he headed towards his kitchen. Bruce took that as a sign of kitchen now, and followed Tony there, acting like he is getting a glass of water.

"I have been working nonstop? Almost every day?" Tony asked in an irritated hushed voice as he stuck his head in the fridge. Son of a bitch. Loki even made the beer in the fridge vanish along with all the alcohol in the bar. Tony gazed at his partly barren fridge with the hope that if he stared long enough at an energy drink can it would turn into a Guinness.

"What else was I supposed to say when they asked how our progress is going?" Bruce hissed back as he grabbed a glass out of one of the cabinets near the fridge. "That you are actually playing house with Loki, and not telling me a single thing about your second attempt to study and trace magic?" Bruce asked as he grabbed a cup, and opened the freezer, dropping some ice in it.

"I don't know Bruce. Maybe we don't' have enough data on magic to even begin designing a prototype. That we have hit a dead end, until we can find a way to study magic more thoroughly." Tony answered back with a sigh as he shut the fridge shut.

"Is that true Tony? Have you hit a brick wall?" Bruce went to the sink, letting the water fill up the rest of his glass, the ice crackling as the cool water hit it.

"Not necessarily." Tony said slowly. "I have a few months worth of data..." Tony started and swallowed before leaning against the side of the fridge. "I just haven't sifted through any of it yet..." He said even more quietly. He saw Bruce's eyes go from wide in shock, to narrowed in concern to this news. "Barton. I'm all outta beer." Tony shouted, before Bruce could respond. "Your choices are coffee, water, or Red Bull." Bruce was still looking darkly at Tony, despite the conversation coming to an abrupt stop.

"Tony Stark out of booze." Clint shouted back curiously. "Didn't know we entered the Twilight Zone here." Clint sat down at the living room table, and began shuffling the deck. "I'll take a Red Bull then." Tony opened the fridge again, grabbed one of the thin cans before pleadingly looking at Bruce to act normal. As the two approached the table, Tony tossed the Red Bull to Clint, nearly hitting Steve as he sat down at the table. Tony looked over to Bruce for only a moment before taking his seat across from Steve seeing his friend still didn't look amused, but not completely morose.

Clint finished shuffling, and began dealing the cards as everyone sat in silence. Tony grabbed a red chip, twirling it in his finger, as he waited for Clint to finish. "Thor couldn't come to boys night?" Tony finally spoke up, noting the one male Avenger who was missing from this surprise visit. "Jane have him under lock and key or something?"

"Actually he has been looking for Loki." Steve said, lifting up the corner of the two cards Clint dealt him. "He said something is missing from their father's vault and he thinks Loki might have taken it sometime after escaping from the Isle of Silence." Tony faked looking at his cards, keeping his best poker face for more than one reason now. "Also, he is going to try to get him to return home. Their mother's request."

"So the resident reindeer is now a cat burglar?" Tony said trying to remain conversational, but feared his voice might betray him. He had a feeling that blue box he found in Loki's scarf collection may very well be that item. "Thor say what the item was? If Loki can use it as a weapon or not?"

"The Casket of Ancient Winters..." Steve started, but was quickly interrupted by Clint.

"Come on guys. This isn't a mission briefing. So no talking about Loki unless you wanna hear my newest idea for an arrow that will get that guy right in the eye." The Casket of Ancient Winters. The name seems to make sense with the blue glowing box. But what does it do? With a name like ancient winters it sounds like somebody put all of the snow from the arctic inside a little box and if you open it, you would get a serious case of frostbite. But while studying the box he didn't see any lid or way of opening it. Perhaps only an Asgardian...no a Jotunn, could open it. Use whatever powers it has. "Tony are you in?" Clint asked, but Tony didn't respond. This news is far more interesting than a guy night poker game. "Stark?" he asked again, finally breaking Tony's chain of thought.

Tony realized he never actually looked at the cards placed in front of him. He quickly looked at them, then let his eyes drifted to the pile of chips on the table. He threw some chips into the pile, checking, and as soon as he heard the click of them landing, his attention shifted back to Loki and the blue box that now has a name.

Maybe he should confront Loki about it. No. He would just deny Tony's claims. Or would he? Both have kind of sort of been honest with one another. Well he is definitely being more honest with Loki than he is with the rest of his friends. But Loki. Despite opening up more. Sharing stories of his past and desires in present. What he is currently doing. What both are currently doing. The deceit both are planning between tender kisses and chess games. That is the one lie both are keeping to themselves.

Tony quickly moved his attention back to the game. He couldn't let Steve or Clint become suspicious with all this internal thinking he has been doing. The first three cards were flipped over, and the betting came around again.

Finally two hours had passed, and Tony won. Every chip of monopoly money belonged to him. However, there is no arrogant elation from winning against his friends. All he wants is for them to leave, so he could go back to thinking about Loki, Thor searching for him, and the casket that was in hidden under a sea of scarves. Also, he didn't want Steve to ask for a demonstration of the imaginary Loki, magic, neutralizer machine. "Guys, it has been a time and a half. But seeing as Clint drank all the Red Bull, and I have work to get back to, I'm kicking you out."

"As gracious host as ever Stark." Clint said chugging the last bit of drink from his can before adding it to the pile. "And next time we're over, make sure you're not outta beer."

Tony held his tongue. Part of him wanted to rat Loki out. Tell Clint if he is that pissed about no booze, then to file a complaint with the God of Mischief. "Well seeing how you drank all my Red Bull, I think next time its BYODB: bring your own damn beer."

"I'm not the billionaire, who can afford the good stuff though." Clint started getting up from his chair. "And being your friend Stark, I have become accustom to a certain lifestyle. So it's your own fault."

"Tony, tell us when you are done with the device that will neutralize Loki's magic. With how long you have been working on it, it should be nearing completion." Steve added as he rose from his chair, putting his worn leather jacket on.

Tony felt himself getting warm around the collar at this comment. "Yah, Steve, I'll let you know." He said swallowing the lie.

Bruce stayed sitting, finishing off his glass of ice water. "You guys head out to the car, I'll meet you there in a minute." Clint chuckled, shaking his head, as Tony led him and Steve to the front door.

Bruce took his glasses off, setting them next the the empty glass. He inhaled and exhaled as Tony came back into the room from escorting their friends out the door. Bruce's face once again somber, letting Tony that he still means business. "So how much trouble am I in?" Tony asked sitting down across from Bruce, but not fully looking him in the eye.

"Before Thor left, he asked me if you and Loki are still meeting. Talking." Bruce said, his hand softly drumming on the table. "I told him you were. He then went on to ask me if you had any idea of his whereabouts. I told him to try Illinois. Chicago to be specific."

Tony's whole body no longer seemed to be moving, his breathing became short, almost nonexistent. His heart racing so fast, he felt like Bruce could see how quickly it is pounding through his chest. His mind became light, numb, and the room was soon going to become a dizzying mess. "Why did you tell Thor to start in Chicago?" Tony asked, forcing his voice to sound indifferent.

"Back when you went to Japan. When I kept an eye on the sensors that could trace magic. The only one to ever collect any data was the one in Chicago. I told you that. Remember?" Tony swallowed, remembering that day well. When Bruce mentioned Chicago, he never once questioned it. Asked why Loki would be in Illinois. Try to distract Bruce from keeping that location stored in the depths of his internal hard drive of a brain. It's a mistake that is now costing him dearly.

"And you think Loki is living there?" Tony asked, his voice still not giving anything away. "Last time I checked, reindeer live in the North Pole, not Illinois."

"Tony, be serious here." Bruce spoke darkly, the drumming coming to a stop. "If Loki is not living in Chicago, then why did that tracer detect his magic there? Be honest with me Tony. Do you know or think that Loki is hiding there?"

Tony felt as if Bruce was giving him an ultimatum; him or Loki. What should he say? The truth? No. He told himself to not drag Bruce any further down than he already has. "Do you seriously think that Loki would willingly give me his location? He is too smart. Besides Loki comes to me after battles and such. I don't go to him."

Bruce sighed, putting his glasses back on, and standing up from his chair. "You can only dance around this for so long Tony." Tony began to stand up, to walk his friend to the door. "I can see myself out. Have a good holiday, and call me when you actually want to get some work done."

Tony went to his bar, opening one of the vacant cabinets, praying that maybe there is a bottle in there. One that Loki forgot. But it remained empty. He slammed the door shut, his throat begging for the burn of any liquid that would make him forget, ease the pain. No. This is why Loki took away all his booze in the first place.

The burning desire for a drink still taunted him as he made way towards the couch. He allowed his body to fall on it, the cushions forming to his body's natural curves. His eyes lingered on one point in the ceiling, clearing his mind, trying to purge himself from the desire for a drink.


"Back so soon?" Tony asked to what appeared to be a desolate living room. He was still laying flat on the couch, eyes closed, and his desire for a drink not fading. "Brother dearest finally find you?" The scent of chamomile became more potent as the quiet footsteps approached the couch.

"My brother is searching for me." Loki said bemusedly. "It's about time that fool discovered I took at cask." He muttered under his breath so Tony could not hear. His hand brushed the slight bulge in his pocket. The Norn Stones are still one secret he has. "Actually I am not here because of my brother. I thought I would take you up on your earlier offer."

"So it was Amora that visited you then." Tony said slowly opening his eyes, a grimace gradually forming. "And you have all my booze, so I don't see why you came here to drink."

Tony sat up, allowing Loki to slide beside him. "Is it not better to drink in company than in solitude?" Loki questioned with a smirk. "So in my absence, your beast stopped by for a visit. Trying to coax my location out of you so my brother can once again take me back home; only to partake in a shouting match with my father, and once again I'm told how much of a disappointment I am."

"Your former mind zombie, and the eagle scout came over too." Tony added. "We played poker for a few hours." Tony waved it off, not wanting to go into any further details. Besides throughout a good portion of the game all he could think about was the man sitting beside him. "And it was Steve that told me about operation hide and seek. Not Bruce."

"And what do you gain giving me such information?" He asked curiously, moving his arm so it is dangling over the couch. "Doesn't my brother know of our arrangement? If he truly wishes to find me, should he not be stalking you instead of me."

"True," Tony replied pointedly. " He could come any moment now. Demanding me to tell him what I know. But I think he wants to find you on his own. Because as much as you deny it, you two are brothers, and Thor feels like he knows you better than anyone else. So I think he won't come to me until he runs out of worlds to search."

Loki finally turned his head, eyes piercing through Tony before he spoke. "And if my brother does come to you. Ask if you know of my whereabouts. What will you tell him? The truth? Escort him to my residence personally? Or will you lie? Use your own silver tongue and lead my brother astray?"

Tony hadn't actually thought too deeply on this. He assumed if Thor did come to him he would tell him the truth. But sitting here next to Loki. The two of them talking so freely, how could he betray him? Rat him out to his elder brother. Get caught between a family spat. Then again, isn't the Earth as a whole trapped between Thor and Loki. Put into danger because of two brothers and a father that loved them unequally? Tony exhaled deeply, eyes closed and head turned away from the man next to him. "I guess we'll find out when the time comes. Won't we?" Was Tony's wistful answer.


A/N: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and looking forward to the next chapter. Also a big thank you to those of you who review, fav and follow, me or this fic. It really does mean