Hey everyone! So i saw this post on tumblr and it seemed like a funny thing to do. This will probably be a kinda short, stupid fic, but I hope you find it funny :D

"This is stupid. I'm so boooored." Izzy complained.

"I know? Why do we have to leave the Institute just cause its getting painted? Its only one area!" Clary agreed, crossing her arms.

"And why do we have to come here." Jace wrinkled his nose, motioning to the interior of Magnus's apartment.

It was late in the afternoon on saturday, and they had all been kicked out of the institute for the night. During a training session, a few weapons had gotten away and destroyed a section of the east wing. Repairs had been finished a week ago, but the painters hadn't been able to come until today. Maryse had decided the fumes might be harmful to people, and kicked them out for the night. ("Really Maryse, really? We fight demons everyday, last year Alec got bit by that weird ass scorpion thing and had giant boils for a week and you think paint fumes are dangerous?" Jace had pointed out) Since Alec had decided to spend the night at Magnus's, the others had decided to follow him. Unfortunately, what Magnus had planned for Alec's visit was not something that involved anyone else besides his boyfriend. At all. They were all lying about in his living room now, complaining.

"Well, maybe you should go somewhere else then." Magnus said, very salty. "It may be news to you, but entertaining a group of shadowhunters wasn't exactly what I had in mind for tonight." He shot Alec a suggestive look.

Alec blushed and looked down.

"Eww. I don't want to know what kind of weird sex things you were going to do to my baby brother." Izzy said.

"Izzy!" Alec protested, his blush getting darker. "And I'm your older brother!"

"Whatever." Izzy rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of weird sex things." Simon said, suddenly sitting up from his position on the floor. "Which one of you is the girl?"

"What?" Alec looked taken aback.

Magnus just rolled his eyes. "Neither of us. That's kinda the point Sampson."

"Its Simon, and -"

"Besides," Magnus interrupted."People are always asking gay couples that! It's so...unimaginative. Who's the top? Whos the girl? Who pays for dates? Blah blah blah."

"Magnuss." Alec hissed.

"Fine, heres a question for you two." Izzy said, sitting up. Alec groaned. "Who's the good boy jock, and whos the bad boy outcast with a secret heart of gold?"

"What"?" Alec said, baffled.

Clary giggled. "Like in fanfiction." She explained, "There's always those cliche au's."

"I think Alec would be the bad boy." Magnus smirked, glancing sideways at his boyfriend.

"What?! I would not! You would!" Alec protested.

"Oh please sweetie. You wear all that leather, you would make such a sexy bad boy too! And you have that rough exterior facade."

"Who's the teacher and who's the failing student who needs to bring their grade up?" Clary asked.

"Alec is such a teacher trope." Simon said. "I mean, he has so many books!"

"And plus hes never the one to initiate sex." Magnus pointed out, giggling.

"I hate you!" Alec glared, beat red.

"Dude TMI" Jace made a time out sign with his hand.

"Whos the barista and whos the stressed out corporate guy with a regular?"

"Magnus is the corporate guy." Alec said at once.

"What? Why because I have clients?" He asked.

"No, you could never be a barista." Alec said plainly.

"Thats true!" Izzy pointed out. "You'd either get really drunk on free booze or get angry at all the jerks and turn them into rats."

"Can we not talk about being turned into a rat?" Simon asked, shuddering slightly.

Izzy smiled and wrapped her arm around him. "So...anyways...whos the cliche art student and whos the nude model?"

"Alec's the model because he was fantastic abs."

"You can't draw Magnus." Alec pointed out, trying to not look flustered.

"Neither can you, but I could always be a photography student." He said, winking.

"Which one of you is the stipper for the bachelor party and whos the unsuspecting groom who falls in love with the sexy stranger?"

"Honey, please. I am sooo the stripper. I mean, have you seen my ass?" Magnus said, rolling his eyes.

"Whos the boss and who's the secretary who gets banged on the desk?"

"Magnus don't you dare answer-"

"Alec is soo the boss." Magnus said, ignoring his boyfriend. "What?" He asked when Alec punched him.

"I am not!"

"Yes Alec. You are. Face it. You love getting bossy in the bedroom." He said, sticking his tongue out.

"Whos the waitress and who's the customer?"

"Which ones the actor and which ones the body guard?"

"Which ones the celebrity and which ones the poor guy working two jobs in New York?"

"Whos the tutor and whos the student?"

"Whos the failing, sexuall agressive lab partner and whos the nerdy virgin who does all the work?"

"Whos the new kid and whos the sexy guide?"

"Which ones the sexually frustrated masseuse and which ones the client who ends up getting a different kind of massage?"

"Who's the director and whos the actor auditioning?"

"Who's the host and who's the antisocial awkward hot boy who the host falls totally in love with?"

"Oh….wait….."

This went on for the next hour or so, until Alec finally kicked everyone out. Magnus leaned back on the sofa and watched his boyfriend shoo his friends out the door with amusement. When Alec shut the door and turned back to Magnus, he spoke. "A little flustered, Alexander?"

"No!" Alec huffed, walking into the kitchen.

Magnus laughed and followed him, bringing in some of the dishes. "Awww, come on baby. They were just joking!" He said, wrapping his arm around Alec's waist and pulling him to his chest.

"Why are you the stripper?" Alec asked suddenly.

"Because, my ass is fantastic and my lapdances are magnificent."

Alec grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him in, capturing his lips. After several minutes of very heated kissing, Alec pulled away and smiled. "Prove it."

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