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Chapter 27- I'll be Here.
Sam felt sick.
He felt like everything just stopped.
Time, his breathing, his heartbeat.
"What?"
"Andy was having coffee with him after she left the Penny, and he had a heart attack. She did CPR and called 911 and went to the hospital with him, but he didn't make it. Collins said she showed up there a little after midnight, a real mess. He called the hospital, she left there at Ten, we just didn't know where she went before that".
Sam felt like he was about to pass out, the world was starting to spin. He wanted to throw up too.
Her father had died and she came to him to apologize for how sideways things between them were going and had gone?
What was she thinking?
Was he blind? Couldn't he see that there was something wrong?
Sam stepped around Oliver and headed straight out of the door.
He needed to find Andy.
He went to her condo, but she wasn't there. He went to Tommy's, but no-one was there. He tried calling her but her phone just rang and rang, so Sam went back to the barn.
Oliver had said that Andy went to Collins' so, he just needed to get his address because he didn't know where he lived. It stood to reason that Andy might still be there, or maybe at Nash's because she had been missing too.
Collins saw him coming and his body language tensed the second that he saw that he was the destination Sam had in mind.
He shooed the rookie he was talking to away, just before Sam stopped in front of him.
"Where is she?" Sam tried not to sound tense.
But he couldn't help it, his words came out on a strangled tone.
"It doesn't matter" Collins replied.
"Tell me where you live, or I will go get you're file Collins. I'm not asking".
"What's it to you so suddenly? She came to you when she needed you but you were too busy".
"I didn't know okay, if I did...". What would he have done if he had known?
"What Swarek? Invited her in, had Cruz make her coffee? How do you think that made her feel? She runs to the one person she needs, the one place she feels safe and you said not now? When are you going to get that..."
Sam was dying to know what Collins would have said to finish that sentence, but right now he just didn't have time. And he really wasn't all that interested in hearing what Collins had to say, or even what he thought about him.
"Look I'm sorry okay, I know I made mistakes. If things had been different..." Collins was eyeing him suspiciously, but also like he understood.
"How would they be different? You would have hurt her anyway".
Sam ran a hand over his face and let out a calming breath. If he didn't, Collins would be met with the ugly side of his anger shortly, and he didn't want that to happen.
"I just want to know that she's okay, she came to say goodbye, and until now I didn't get that".
Sam's latest statement seemed to hit a nerve with Collins. It took the wind out of his sails.
"Goodbye?".
"She made peace with everything and until now I didn't get that, I didn't understand. She was saying goodbye, maybe letting go. I don't know. If you love her, you'll let me do this". Sam couldn't believe that he just said that, but he had.
Collins took a step back and paled. Sam's nerves lighting up even more than they already were.
"She said goodbye? Damnit Andy!". Great, out of that whole sentence, Collins focuses on that point, and not the point he just called him out on when it came to what he felt about Andy.
Collins had his hand out of his pocket in seconds, his fingers holding onto a small set of keys as his lips rambled off an address across town.
"I love her, like she loves me. But I'm not in love with her, she's still in love with... Someone else. She's either taking a UC after the funeral, or she's going to do something stupid". Collins didn't sound all that convinced of what he was saying, but Sam wasn't really paying attention, and didn't really know the guy so it didn't really matter.
Sam's hands reached for the keys as his mind found new respect for Collins. Somewhere in there, he was looking out for Andy, even if it meant him trying to stand between her and Sam. He was doing it to protect her. From Sam himself.
Sam drove to Collins' given address, trying Andy's phone again but still getting no answer.
It scared him to know that the person that she had grown closest to most recently thought that she was capable of doing something stupid. That just scared the living daylights out of him. It wasn't like Andy. But, she had changed.
Sam let himself in loudly, so that he wouldn't scare her. She would most likely freak out when she saw his face instead of Collins' though.
Sam searched the small apartment, his eyes finding Andy sleeping in Collins' bed.
Even though he was certain that she had only slept there, it was still a haunting vision, one that shredded his heart and gutted him.
He crossed the room, her puffy eyes coming in to view, she had been crying severely.
As soon as he was close enough, Sam sat down on the edge of the bed and called her name softly, his heart breaking for her.
Andy's eyes opened and she stared at him, her eyes bloodshot.
It confused her that he was here.
She looked away as the memories of the last day crept back into her mind, her eyes searching the room looking for any sign that she was dreaming.
She was biting her tears back, her eyes closing to hold them in.
"I am so sorry" Sam said breaking the silence that filled the room. He sounded so gutted saying that, even to his own ears. He briefly thought over the words written on her cast, it was all he kept saying to her these days, but it was how he felt.
Sorry. More sorry than she'd ever know.
Andy's eyes opened widely and she sat up slowly, her tears breaking free as she let her face cast itself downwards to look away.
She held that position for a while, her hand wiping tears away as they traced patterns down to her jaw. When she looked up Sam could see the most heartbreaking look dancing in her eyes, she'd lost the only person that she had left and it was destroying her.
"Come here" Sam whispered and turned towards her, she didn't need to be told twice. Within seconds she had slammed into him, her sobs audible for the first time since he came in.
Sam held her close while she cried, her tears wetting his shirt and his neck as his arms tugged her closer.
His hand ran up and down her back trying to sooth her, as her body shook when her sobs finally began to die down.
He would do just about anything to take this away, to stop her from feeling it; but he couldn't.
Andy let him go, and pulled away, her face heavy set in emotion that she was trying to keep hidden. "I'm sorry" she whispered out again and looked down.
"Don't ever say you're sorry". Sam whispered and let his hand reach out for hers before he tugged it towards his lap and held it there.
Sam's other hand tilted her chin up so that she could look at him, his face trying to convey what he wanted to say.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know, if I had I wouldn't have let you leave".
"I shouldn't have come to you, I just needed somewhere to go...". Andy started crying again, Sam's fingers wiping away her tears as they fell.
"I'll always be there Andy, but you need to tell me that you need me, and what's happening so that I'm not in the dark".
Andy nodded before pulling her hand out of Sam's and reaching for the tissues that were strategically placed next to the bed.
"I'll be okay" Andy said once she had dried her eyes and wiped her nose, her hand clinging to the tissue like it was the only thing holding her down.
"I know" Sam said back. He knew that it was her way of letting him know that he could leave now, but he had no intention of going anywhere.
"You don't have to stay...".
See, just like he had predicted.
"I know, but I want to okay, so lay down and try get some sleep".
Come tomorrow, life would get a little harder for her.
"Sam...". She started but finished there too.
Sam could see all the questions she had, she was just too scared to voice any of them right now.
"Not now, later okay. I'll be here, I promise".
Sam scooted over the distance between them, as Andy lay down and dropped a kiss on her forehead before her eyes closed.
He sat there watching her try to fall asleep until she finally did, a slow sigh telling him that she was dreaming.
****welcome to the bottom!
So good? Bad?
Next chapters gonna get Sam in a whole heap of trouble, because he let's out a huge confession at the wrong time, anyone want to guess what?
Have an awesome day!
Jelly Bean Jenna©
