Yay, this one came out fairly fast! I'm posting it so close to the last one because I'm off on holiday for around two weeks so won't write for a little while. Hope you enjoy it :)
Chapter 28
"Because of what you have done for Alloran, brave Jahar, as a noble and loving wife, Earth will burn. That is why you were chosen to be the champion of Crayak."
Crayak. I was an agent of Crayak.
I couldn't say anything but just stood there silently, the weight of horror and despair crushing me to the ground. Everything I had done, everything I had tried to do out of love had served that creature's dark agenda.
Is it so terrible? I whispered finally. Is it really so terrible that Earth should be lost?
"The loss of Earth would be only the first movement in a final attack which would destroy the Andalite race," The Third replied gravely. I closed my eyes, as if to ward off the future by not seeing it.
So I have condemned our race? Just by my small actions? I felt a panic rising in me, a need to make this creature see. It can't be true! I am just one creature, just one tiny insignificant being! All I wanted was to bring my husband home. I am only an insect in the great scheme – how can what I do possibly affect anything? In answer The Third regarded me impassively for a moment, and then raised a hand. In that second I was spinning again, whirled to a new place, a place of darkness and hard steel, and in front of me, towering above...
Crayak. Huge, malevolent, waves of tangible darkness rolling off him. A great scarlet eye high above, set into a body that either sat on a throne or was a part of a throne, a mix of metal and dark flesh wrapping round it like gnarled tree roots. Terror held me still, barely breathing, praying that he would not notice me, but instead Crayak's attention was taken by a smaller creature standing in front of him, a slim, vaguely humanoid creature wreathed in a strange purple halo that was light and darkness at the same time. It hurt to look at that creature, but somehow I knew that it was not the one to be feared in this place.
"So, you have chosen the side of the Ellimist in this round," Crayak murmured, his voice a low rumble which threatened to shake me apart.
"Only for the time being," The Third replied playfully, and I realised that this was the past, that (as far as the limits of time applied to these powerful creatures) this had already happened. "He allowed me free choice of champions, and thus I shall work for the preservation of Earth with him. That is, unless you have a better offer?" Its tone was almost flirtatious.
"This is a battle I can fight on my own," Crayak thundered. "I do not need your assistance this time. Earth will fall. I have seen it."
"As I have seen it survive," The Third replied. "My champions will see to it."
"Your champions?" Crayak sneered. "Weak, misguided creatures stained with evil. One of them will one day beg to serve me. Poor choices for saving a world."
"The best champions are those that do not fully understand the purpose they serve," The Third replied firmly. "That is where the Ellimist always makes his mistake. He leads his champions too much. He takes his champion on Earth and holds his hand."
"What would you know, insect?" Crayak growled, and he laughed mockingly. "You skitter like a beetle at the edge of the game. With one thought I could wipe you out." The Third was very quiet for a minute and then said softly, "On Earth they have a saying. The beating of an insect's wings can cause a hurricane a thousand miles away. One insect is sometimes all that is needed to make a difference."
"Perhaps I shall follow your logic," Crayak snorted, as The Third turned away from him, ready to go. "Perhaps I shall use an insect of my own to disrupt your plans." The scene flowed and dissolved, into swirls of darkness and I knew that I'd seen what I was meant to see, was being carried back to the lonely planet where The Third was talking with me. But in the last second, as I started to go, Crayak turned his gaze and his eye skewered me, pinning me in its beam. "Well done, Jahar," he rumbled in my mind, his voice filling my head. "I shall grant you long years in your husband's arms, far from war, for your work." And then he was gone and I was back on the sand under the unfamiliar stars, The Third standing in front of me in its Andalite form and Crayak's promise still vibrating through me.
"I did not foresee Crayak truly using just one player to disrupt the game," The Third said softly. It bowed its Andalite head. "I did not see you coming until it was too late. Crayak slipped you silently under our noses into the fray."
Surely the Ellimist could have foreseen it? I asked. Is he not all powerful? In the stories the Ellimist was omnipotent, a benign god with an omniscient eye.
"The Ellimist was distracted," The Third replied. "A scuffle between himself and Crayak over a small planet near here, the home of the Iskoort. Crayak spread himself too thin concentrating on you and on the Iskoort. He made a fatal mistake with his Howlers." A small, triumphant smile appeared in The Third's eyes. "He let something in which he should not have. This will disadvantage him in the game." Its gaze was back on me, piercing as Crayak's. "Given his losses, Crayak's offer of sanctuary to you was remarkably generous." I felt a flush creep over my cheeks.
You heard that? Can his promise be trusted?
"Oh yes," The Third replied. "I can tell you in all honesty that Crayak has cleared a path for you. You will kill Esplin 9466, take Alloran and your friends and fly away. You will end up marooned on a small planet with a perfect habitat for Andalites. The war will pass you by and you will live out the rest of your life in peace, with Alloran." I nearly whimpered. He was waving paradise under my nose, waving all my hopes and dreams and promising that they could come true.
But if it was so simple then he would not have brought me here, would he?
And if I take that offer then essentially the universe is doomed, isn't it? I said miserably. The Third didn't reply but stood there calmly, waiting, drilling me with its gaze. So, by extension, you must be here to ask me to do differently from what I would have done – namely killing Visser Three and leaving Earth and being happy. Something broke inside me, some dam I'd built, and from behind flooded a wave of emotions screaming I want to be happy! I've suffered enough! Let me go, let me be, let me run with Alloran and pass my final years in peace.
"It is not only you I need to ask to change their future," The Third said gently. "Alloran too still has a crucial part to play." I snapped my head up, from contemplating the sand back to The Third, and suddenly I was angry.
Is that why you brought me here? You're too frightened to go to my mate yourself and ask him to go back to being a slave, to endure years of humiliation and servitude all over again on the off chance that one future in a thousand will come true and he will end up saving the world? You want me to break the news to him instead, that with his freedom we've just bought Earth's certain ruin?
"Yes," The Third said, calmly.
Well I won't!
"It is the only way." I folded my arms and raised my tail aggressively.
No. The Third said nothing, just stood there impassively and I found myself speaking again. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't possibly persuade Alloran to become Visser Three's host again. The silence was unnerving, it led me to fall to talking myself into it, as if The Third was supplying the words. I mean, I doubt I could persuade him. The only way I could do it would be by emotionally bullying him into it and I won't, I won't! I will not sacrifice our happiness and condemn him to misery again. Not for anything.
"Not for the safety and future of the Andalite race and all of humanity?" The Third asked. I knew logically that I was being ridiculous, that there was no way I could weigh up my own selfish desires against so many lives, but it wasn't about me, it was about Alloran. Alloran who had already suffered so much. Alloran who I would not condemn by my own hands back to despair.
No, I whispered, hating that I was so sure of my answer. Surely I should have felt more terrible, more wracked with guilt at the thought of what I was saying, but all that mattered was Alloran.
"Not for the lives of your friends Arbat and Kipsing?" At those words, I felt like I'd run into a stone wall, my certainty instantly evaporating. Because, of course, that was my weakness, the knowledge that those two Andalites died because of me, for me. The Third's words cut like a knife deep inside me, finding the ball of pain associated with their deaths and slicing into it. If I had the chance to save them, and everyone else as well, but more importantly them, did I not owe it to them to use it?
I don't know, I whimpered uncertainly. I wish it wasn't Alloran you needed. Couldn't it be someone else? He has already suffered so much. Couldn't I take on his burden, and take his place?
"It must be Alloran," The Third replied. "There can be no substitution. You must ask him to do this."
But I love him! Silence. This is cruel, I whispered. You are asking me to take the one I love most of all and force him to do something against his will, against my own will.
"Yes."
Crayak offers peace and happiness.
"I will not match that offer. I only offer the lives of your two comrades, and a promise."
Promise? I repeated faintly, hopefully.
"I am not like the Ellimist and Crayak. I do not abandon my champions to death." So Alloran would live. And if all turned out as this being hoped, as it dreamed, then one day he would be free again. A slim chance, weighed against the certainty of servitude. Weighed against the Visser laughing in his head for years, rejoicing in the fact that he willingly came crawling back.
I'll try, I said wearily. I can't promise more. I'll try.
"That is all we can ever ask of our champions," The Third said. It raised a hand again, and once more I was spinning across the many miles between here and my husband on Visser Three's Blade Ship, spinning back into a human body with human limbs and a Dracon beam clutched in my hand. I blinked, dazed, and swayed.
"I think she did love Arbat, you know," Visser Three said, in front of me, her chest heaving with malice. Still alive! And of course, that was The Third's aim wasn't it? To protect all of its champions, including this vile slug in front of me. She turned to Alloran. "It really wouldn't be surprising when you consider how you treated her." He bristled, furious.
Jahar, either shoot him or give me that Dracon beam this instant! Why wouldn't he use his tail? Was he afraid to move without permission when I held the only weapon in the room? Somehow that thought saddened me even further, and the beam shook in my hand again. I lowered it.
"No Alloran. We're leaving, now."
What? he shrieked.
Mother, what do you mean we're leaving? Farling asked. The Visser...
"Walk to the door all of you," I said firmly. "We are walking out of here now." Visser Three's eyes were wide with surprise, but she narrowed them and followed the arisths as they grudgingly moved to the door.
Alloran, you must morph, I said privately. He was shaking.
Jahar, what are you doing?
It is time to go, my love.
"Must you leave so soon?" Visser Three called after the arisths' retreating backs. "We were just getting to know each other." Her tone was cold, her eyes slitted with hatred. Alloran still hadn't moved, and I took a step towards him, sliding the dial on the Dracon beam as I did so.
Jahar, you have lost your mind, Alloran said bitterly. And I will not let you take this from me. I saw him moving, a blue blur, Visser Three turning to him too late and raising a pathetic arm in defence against his tail blade.
Alloran! Even as I shouted his name I had raised the Dracon beam and fired, praying I'd set it properly to stun. The bright flash of light hit him in mid air, knocking him back against the computer panel. Visser Three raised herself from her hunched defensive position and laughed shakily when she saw that he was nearly unconscious.
"Now that was unexpected. Well aimed Jahar!"
Shut up Yeerk, I snapped, turning the beam back on her. I gestured at Alloran, moving weakly. Step away from him. Medrar, come here. Medrar walked carefully forward, and I handed him the Dracon beam without ever turning the tip from the Visser's direction. If she tries anything stun her. He nodded seriously, and I moved forward to Alloran. I grasped his arms, lifting his head towards me.
Jahar? he whispered. You shot me? His tone was agonizingly incredulous.
Morph, I hissed. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead with my human mouth, an attempt to convey love and reassurance. I will explain, my love. I promise. He stared at me for a second, undecided, and then started the blessed changes back to a human body.
"How sentimental," Visser Three sneered. "The happy family is all back together." He scanned the arisths. "Farling, Tirdellan, are you there? Have you come all this way to find your magnificent father? Does he measure up to expectations?"
Be quiet, Medrar snarled, and I saw Farling looked shaken.
Stun the Visser, I said calmly. Alloran shot me a look of intense betrayal, and I fought back a sob. We're going to take a Bug Fighter and go back to The Starwave. Back to Arbat's ship, without him. Back to the ship where Kipsing died. I owed it to them, didn't I, to try and coax Alloran back into slavery? Medrar adjusted the dial on the Dracon beam, and aimed carefully. The Visser gulped, nervous, but didn't flinch. She slumped to the ground, and I checked quickly that she was unconscious. Behind me Alloran hovered, in his human morph.
"I could strangle him now," Alloran said bitterly. "Yet you don't seem to want me to. Why are you doing this Jahar?" His voice was plaintive, a thwarted child whining about the unfairness of life. He moved, or at least I sensed his presence getting closer. "Why are you protecting him?" His last word was a strangled yell and he leapt. I half turned to meet him and he grabbed me, trying to pull me aside, trying to get at the unconscious controller again. "You don't understand!" he howled. "You didn't have him there! It's my right to kill him, my right, my right!"
"I know!" I shouted. "I know, I know! Please stop!"
War Prince Alloran, please get off her, Medrar intervened, his voice shaky. Alloran stared in hatred at the tip of the Dracon beam pointed at him, but then pulled himself off me, panting.
How loyal they are to you, Jahar, he sneered, his tone hurting me deep inside. I would hate to be shot again. I staggered to my feet, breathing hard.
Stop behaving like a child, Alloran. You are a warrior and your job is to take orders. I am ordering you to leave now. I turned to face the others. We are all leaving now.
If I hadn't had the Dracon beam in Medrar's hand, and Medrar truly loyal to me (oh I chose well there! Farling might have wavered out of sympathy for his father, and Lortif out of his love for Farling) I doubt I could have forced all of them out of the Visser's quarters. We left her breathing shallowly on the floor, no doubt with the Yeerk's mind whirring frantically behind that supposedly unconscious exterior, trying to puzzle out what had happened. Alloran walked sullenly at the front of our group, sending mutinous glances my way. Farling and Lortif were confused, uncertain. My son reached out a tentative hand to his father, and was hurt when Alloran yanked himself away as if the touch had burned. Medrar brought up the rear with me, the Dracon beam held very close in his right hand, his left side turned and me on his right to shield it from passersby. I half feared Alloran would lead us in circles, back to his sleeping enemy, but instead he turned into a main hanger, filled with ships in their energy cradles. A human controller approached us and asked for authorisation for using one of the Bug Fighters and Alloran rattled off a monotonic set of digits. The controller nodded, satisfied, and we were directed to a nearby Bug Fighter. As we approached, the cables feeding the ship fuel and coolant were disconnected, falling away from it disconcertingly, as if its entrails had dropped out. Taxxons scooped up the cables, carrying them out of our way, and we boarded silently. Lortif took the controls and we took off calmly and unhurriedly, just a group of broody controllers on boring business.
When we were a very good way from the Blade ship I keyed in the radio frequency I had told Tirdellan to listen to, and made contact fairly swiftly. Her thought speak was steady, although with a shrill note of worry, and I told her to meet us at a set of co-ordinates above the Earth country 'England'. When we arrived there she was waiting for us, and we docked the Bug Fighter against her, crossing from its claustrophobic interior into the lovely Starwave. A pang hit me again, stepping into Arbat's ship, and when Tirdellan came to greet us her eyes widened to see us one short.
Who? she whispered, and I realised she couldn't tell us apart in our human morphs.
Your uncle Arbat, Alloran said coldly, his first words since he gave the authorisation code at the hanger. For a second my daughter almost smiled in relief, before rearranging her face into the appropriate sorrow. As we demorphed I motioned her to me and we touched tails.
Take the boys, I said softly. Set the Bug Fighter drifting free and obliterate all trace of it. They'd enjoy that, I hoped, the destruction of a ship at close range.
Mother, what is wrong? Tirdellan asked. You are all so quiet.
Your uncle's death was upsetting for us, I lied calmly. Do not worry about it. Alloran turned to me, back in Andalite form, the steel blue shimmers in his fur almost sinister.
Jahar, may I speak to you?
Yes, I replied, glad to hear his even tone. It sounded like he had calmed down. We'll talk in my quarters. I led him to them, whilst the younger ones went to the main cockpit to enjoy target practice on the Bug Fighter. Alloran appeared completely relaxed, waiting politely for me to open the doors to my quarters us and stepping in ahead of me at my invitation. I turned my stalk eyes to check that the doors had shut fully behind us, and in that second he struck. His attack was brutal and fast, his first bow blocked by my tail but his second one coming unexpectedly at knee height, knocking me down. Half a second later his tail blade was pressed against my throat, quivering, as he himself was, trembling all over with rage.
What is your game? he roared, his thought speak bombarding my mind. Why did you stop me? You shot me! Why should I not kill you now?
Alloran, it's me! Your Jahar!
And that's the only reason you're not dead already. He was breathing hard, green eyes glittering with some terrible madness. I raised a trembling hand to his tail blade, pressing uncomfortably against my throat, and tried to push it away. It would not budge.
Please, I whispered. Let me explain.
I can not wait to hear your reasons for acting as you did! Alloran spat. They must be extraordinary indeed.
Alloran... I wanted to cry; to fall, shaking and sobbing into his arms, only there was no shelter for me there. This onslaught came from him, wholly from him, and he would not protect me from harm as I had always believed he would. Let me stand, I begged. Let me stand and speak to you. I didn't want to stop you. You are justified to be this angry, love, but-
He cut angrily across me, jabbing a finger at me. Do NOT call me that! Exactly the same words he had used to Visser Three. I felt like something was breaking in me, and a part of me remembered Crayak's promise and wanted so much for us to reconcile over loving words and go back, complete what we had started and run off to paradise. But looking at Alloran, with his heaving chest and wild eyes, almost rolling, I knew that dream was over. I'd already chosen our course, already pitted myself against Alloran. All that was left was for me to defeat him.
Taking both my hands I pushed against his tail blade. I'm not a fool – I know I couldn't have moved a metre and a half of coiled muscle if he hadn't wanted it moved, but grudgingly he withdrew it, allowing me to stand. I was panting with the shock of being shouted at, but some miserable part of me pushed me resolutely forward. Throw it away, it whispered. Throw away every dream of happiness you have ever had. You don't deserve it anyway.
Alloran, I said, shaky but growing firmer. You are not going to like what I have to say, but you must listen to me.
