Sorry for the long wait all of you who are still reading. Music is First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow and Push by Matchbox Twenty. ENJOY!

Chapter 25

"Tom my man. How's it going?"

Tommy winced at the fake enthusiasm as much as the clap on the back. He glanced over at the man who had joined him, not slowing his pace towards Studio Two. "What's up D?"

"Your girl's not doing too bad on the charts T." They both knew that was a major understatement. "We got her on Under the Mic." Darius's smile was wide, expecting the same kind of excitement from the younger man.

Tommy stopped suddenly and Darius took a step before turning back to him. "D you've already got her spread too thin. Did you forget we have an album to make? If you keep scheduling her for events, we're never going to have time to finish it." There had been a photo shoot a few days ago, courtesy of Portia's contacts, and that radio interview yesterday. Sure it was great that people were already interested in Jude, but she was dedicated to making music, just like he was; that and she was a little more easily tired right now, not that she did not try to hide it and not that he did not notice anyway.

The sarcasm wasn't lost on Darius and he tightened his mouth into a thin line. "T you create it. But I make sure it sells. Canada is going to remember her name and Jude's single is number three right now. You know how incredible that is for an unknown artist? Don't forget I was the one who made Boyz Attack multi-platinum. She needs to stay on the radar." Darius was more than a little angry now; Tommy had learned how to push his buttons better than most, including marrying his little sister. But Portia had moved on to a better, dependable man and although Darius had not forgotten, he accepted it for the ancient history that it was.

"I'm not going to let you throw her into the deep end D. She's new to the business and she's gonna burn out if you don't step back." Although he had kept his tone deliberately non-confrontational, he could not hide the clenching of his jaw and the flash of his icy blue eyes. He held himself responsible for her place at G-Major and he would never let her feel exploited as he had once been.

"What," Darius scoffed, "are you trying to protect her?"

The disbelief in Darius's voice had Tommy's infamous temper rising. He narrowed his eyes to glare at his former brother-in-law. "Is that really so surprising?"

Only with a flicker of his eye, did Darius betray his true surprise. "Yeah it is," he stated bluntly.

What was harder than hearing the lack of faith in him was the fact that he deserved the doubt. Maybe it was hard for Tommy to face someone who had known his every indiscretion in the past, and who also knew where his loyalties had always lain. When it had come down to it, Tommy Quincy had always looked out for number one; the way he had walked away from Boyz Attack without regret was proof of that. And now he wasn't sure what to say. Maybe it was surprising to an outside observer , that he was looking out for someone else for a change. But none of them had ever known him, not who he really was. Only Jude had been allowed to look deeper.

Darius sighed and looked at his former artist, steadily. It was the powder keg that did not go off, that convinced him to go easy on Tommy and possibly he did have a point. The public would be surprised to know how many signed artists never managed to complete an album. "Look I'll see what I can do about easing back on her publicity events."

Tommy simply nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"She'll do Under the Mic though T. The world wants to hear her live." Darius could see he was about to protest and put his hand up to stop him. "She'll like doing this. You know that Tom. Torn deserves to be heard."

That answered one question at least. Darius had already chosen the song he wanted her to sing. At least they wouldn't have to create something from scratch on such a tight deadline. Tommy inclined his head, knowing that this was the best he was going to get, for the moment at least. "I'll tell her."

Tommy looked up from the controls, finally finding a good spot to pause at his mixing and realized Jude was still not back. She had gone to his office to retrieve the lyrics she had scribbled yesterday, awhile ago, but somewhere along the way she had obviously been waylaid. He stood up and stretched, hearing the satisfying crack of his back before heading off in search of his girl.

Tommy closed his office door behind him and stared down at the slumbering form on his couch, unable to suppress a soft smile at her peaceful innocent face, usually so animated when she was conscious. Warmth suffused his chest as he stared down at her. He crouched beside her and swept a loose tendril of curls off her cheek, winding it around his finger, then letting the tip tickle her soft cheek.

As her eyes began to flicker open, he whispered against her ear, "I love you."

Her reaction was not exactly what he expected, when her eyes flew wide open at his words and she stared up into his, disorientation clouding their sapphire depths. "You love me?" she asked as if not quite believing she had heard right. She sat up a little, resting her weight on her elbows as she studied his eyes for an answer.

Terror started to invade his chest when her eyes began to fill with liquid. "Jude…What's wrong baby. I said it to you before," he asked in utter bafflement as the tears broke from their confinement to slide down her cheeks.

"I-You-Before-It was during amazing sex! I didn't know if…" she said a little frantically, the emotions attempting to drown her. Logically they both knew her hormones were responsible for this new outburst, but it did not lessen the impact of the moment.

Her tears renewed and he rolled his eyes heavenward, praying for patience, for guidance from weeping women which he had never been good with. And when she cried, which had happened more often than he liked, it made him feel helpless, powerless to protect her. She made him weak and he had just started to learn: better. "I need you. I know you know that," he said softly, his hands cupping either side of her head, fingers tangling into her hair, looking deep into her stormy orbs.

She nodded and sniffed indelicately, causing him to grin as their eyes lingered on one another.

In the next moment, they were interrupted by Darius who had slipped into Tommy's office unnoticed. Tommy dropped his arms, but stayed beside her on the couch.

Jude could only look on unable to speak, her emotional jag still not completely done. Darius was a dark blur behind the watery sheen across her eyes, but she could not stop. She sat up, trying to bring the room back into focus, and will away the flood.

"Tom! What the hell? You made her cry?"

For once in his life Tommy had no comeback; he was too overcome by her tears, even knowing she was just reacting, to care about Darius. He barely glanced up, his attention riveted on her face.

"Baby…" He knelt in front of her and took her hands. "Please stop crying," he practically whined, "you know I can't take it when you cry." Jude tried to slow her sobs, a sudden hiccup catching her unawares.

Suddenly it was Darius crouched beside Tommy, trying to bump him out of the way. "Jude are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he?" His deep baritone stunned her tears into submission as she stared at her boss in horror. His concern was disconcerting since she really didn't know the big man all that well.

"D…I-I'm fine, really." She tried to wipe the evidence of tears from her face causing her mascara to smear even more. She gave him a wobbly unconvincing smile that he returned with a suspicious look of his own. Her arms reached out to Tommy and he pulled her to him, hiding her face in his shoulders.

"She's a little emotional," Tommy explained weakly and Jude couldn't help it, she started to giggle into his neck.

Darius stood up and wiped the imaginary dust off his black slacks.

"Care to tell me what's going on?" Darius did not suffer B.S. from others easily and his business acumen had been honed to understand when something was being kept from him.

Tommy quickly grabbed a napkin from his desk, left over from some lunch, which they sometimes took in his office and handed it to Jude who quickly blotted away the evidence of her distress. "She's just tired D. It's been a long day."

"Uh huh…" the skepticism in his voice was intentional as he eyed the two of them. Sensing the futility of asking further questions, and never one to waste time he let the subject go for now. "I just wanted to make sure you were all set for the show."

"Yeah." Jude's emotions had leveled off again and she was able to look directly at Darius.

"Portia will prep you on how the standard interview goes." Getting nothing further to work with from either of the pair gave them both one more solemn look before turning to go.

When he left, Tommy turned back to Jude, brushing away the dried salt clinging underneath her eyes. "You're gonna give me a complex you know? If you cry every time I say something important," he said more lightly, than he felt. It had never been easy for him to admit his feelings, and love, to him, had always come with conditions he had never felt competent to fulfill. But somehow this woman he had barely known more than a handful of months got him, more than anyone else ever had.

Jude smiled a little shyly, letting her clumped lashes raise to his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said equally airily, making the apology not quite sincere. "Say it again," she cajoled.

He shook his head in mock resignation, as her hand slip to his jean clad knee. "Forget it. I can't seem to choose the right time-You wouldn't believe me anyway." He made to stand, but her fingers had wandered a bit higher and pressed down to keep him in place.

"Tommy…" she drew out his name, answering the glint of amusement in his eyes with her own. Her other hand moved to his chest, rubbing lightly with her palm.

"Fine. You win." His hands covered hers and he looked deep into her azure depths. "I love you." And even though the three words themselves weren't all that impressive, they way he said them left no doubt.

Her heart did the strangest little flip flop and she was finding it hard to breathe. "Good, because I love you too." The words felt utterly right as they escaped her lips, and she wondered briefly how long they had wanted to come out. It seemed like she had been falling for him forever, even as it had seemed like she had always known him.

His lips clung to hers as their arms wrapped around each other. His fingers tangled in her wavy hair, pressing her firmly to him.

"We're going to have to tell people soon," he said to her when they pulled apart.

Jude nodded and sighed, not wanting to think hard about how others would judge her when they found out. Not that she was ashamed to be having his baby; she was happy about it once she had accepted the impossibility of the situation. "Can we just keep it to ourselves for a little while?" The idea was still so new and now that she knew he loved her, kind of exciting, even though she had never planned on being a mom at twenty. "It's just, we're at a good place right now. I mean-aren't we?" She raised her eyes to meet his and he nodded.

"I know baby. I like it being just us knowing too." He rested his forehead against hers and breathed in her closeness. "We can't hide it forever though."

"I don't want to Tommy. Just for a now."

Tommy circled her face with his palms and met her upturned lips with his own. He always wanted to touch her, and for once he accepted that she wanted him just as much.

"So Jude Harrison everybody," Adam Lakewood, a typical California surfer type with a million dollar smile and tight abs, introduced her to the audience to applause. "Jude we've hear some good things about your music. How does it feel to hit the charts on your first try."

"Great." She gave the audience a genuine smile before continuing. "I never expected people to like my song so much. Actually it wasn't even something I planned on recording," she admitted.
"Really? Wow. I heard you write your own music. Is most of it taken from your own life?"

"Yeah. Definitely. I find inspiration from everything around me."

"I have to ask Jude, is there anyone in the crowd today that inspired you?" he asked it teasingly, leaving no doubt as to whom he was hinting at. The rumors still ran rampant about her and Tommy, even though there had yet to be concrete confirmation of a romantic relationship between the two of them.

Jude flushed under her light makeup, but managed to give him a smile anyway. "Well actually there is…"

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow in obvious interest now.

"He's always supported my music and I don't know where I'd be without him." She paused as the audience listened in rapt attention. "My dad, Stuart Harrison."

"Oh." Adam was only thrown off for a second. "So daddy's little girl huh?"

"Of course. And there's my producer Tom Quincy too. He's taught me a lot."

Tommy couldn't tell from his distance backstage, but he could swear there was a devilish glint in her eye when she said the double entendre. He tried to hide the grin from the man beside him, but watching her work her magic on stage made that difficult.

Adam cleared his throat, still a little off stride, even as he wondered what she meant with the seemingly innocuous words. "Are you ready for your song Jude?"

Jude nodded and thanked the techie who handed her, her acoustic guitar.

"Here it is guys; Jude Harrison's highly anticipated live debut of her hit single, Torn."

"Actually Adam, there's something new I've been working on that I want to play for everyone." Jude turned her head to the side for only the briefest moment, and caught Tommy's eyes.

"Well you heard it here first," he commented before leaving the stage.

She settled herself on a stool in the performance area and adjusted the microphone before starting the slow, haunting melody.

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want to, try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky, he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me he's worst

Tommy knew this song was meant for him and not being sung about him like Torn had been. She had this amazing capacity to give, that he had never encountered before and it almost overwhelmed him.

"I knew I hurt her back then-I just didn't know it was that much." The regret in his voice had Tommy turning to the older man. Stuart had seen the gaze she directed their way and jumped to his own conclusions, too mired by his own longtime guilt to understand the truth.

He knew it was not his secret to share, but Stuart didn't deserve that kind of guilt either. "The song's not about you Stuart-Not really."

Stuart's eyes were now focused on him. "What did Jamie do to her?" The whole situation had never quite jibed for him, the way Jude had so easily fallen into Tommy's arms, without seeming to look back. His daughter was loyal and honest and he had not believed those inherent qualities could suddenly alter so easily even if there had been an instant connection between Jude and Tommy.

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure gonna give you a try
If you wanna try to love again, try
Baby I'll try to love again, but I know, oh
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me he's worst

Tommy shook his head, still caught in the spell she was weaving with her voice. She was singing to him, even if he was one of the only ones who knew it. She was letting him know, she was trusting him once again, even if this time he didn't need to hear it. But more importantly he was telling him she would have chosen him anyway. "It's Jude's story." And as Stuart started to protest Tommy raised his hand. "But I think you can guess…"

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
But I'm sure gonna give you a try
Cuz if you wanna try to love again
Baby I'll try to love again, but I know, oh
The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest
When it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it comes to loving me he's worst

It hung between them in the air as Stuart thought it through. "You didn't take advantage of her, did you." It was not a question, but a statement of fact.

Tommy shook his head even as he met Stuart's eyes again. "I would have," he commented matter-of-factly. He had wanted her beyond reason and beyond conscience and he wouldn't lie about that now.

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest

Try to love again

The commercial break had just started as Jude headed off the stage. She gave her dad a hug first and he grinned down at her.

"You were amazing kiddo." He smiled at her with pride shining in his eyes.

Jude smiled back, not realizing how much she had missed her father's support and approval. He let her go and she turned to Tommy, who looked at her intently. She was in his arms in an instant and his face buried against her hair.

"You didn't have to do that," he whispered into her hair.

"I did," she turned head, tipping it up to whisper against his ear, "I need you too."

Who knew those words would matter to him. He held her even tighter, neither of them noticing when Stuart left them alone to join the audience.

Jude blinked in surprise when Tommy abruptly released her. He flashed her a charming grin that she had to return.

"I gotta go," he said even as he headed towards Adam, who had reappeared after the commercial and was announcing that he had a surprise guest.

Jude had barely gotten a word out before he was gone and she could only look on, bemused, as he joined the host onstage. He had told her that he yet to sign the contract from G-Major and he still wasn't sure he was ready to enter the limelight again. But there he was, answering Adam's questions, looking like he belonged there. He said he still hadn't made up his mind about returning to singing, but he had something he wanted someone special to hear. Jude held her breath as he picked up the guitar she had abandoned and adjusted the microphone to suit his own height.

She said "I don't know if I've ever been good enough, I'm a little bit rusty
And I think my head is caving in
And I don't know if I've ever been really loved, by a hand that's touched me
And I feel like something's gonna give, and I'm a little bit angry

Jude could only listen on in stunned amazement, his head turning to catch her gaze, before turning his attention back to the crowd.

Well this ain't over, no not here
Not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah, we might just might feel good

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, I will, I will

She said "I don't know why you would ever lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting, when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya
And I don't know why you couldn't stay with me
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine, cuz it's a little bit dirty

She wanted to cry, hearing his interpretation of how things had been going between them. He was answering questions she had never asked out loud. She had claimed they didn't know one another well enough, but…What they felt, their connection, was too strong to simply walk away from. They knew each other on a level that was hard to explain, but completely tangible to Jude now.

Oh well, don't just stand there, say nice things to me
Cuz I've been cheated, I've been wronged
You, you don't know me, yeah well I can't change
Well I won't do anything at all

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, I will, I will

Oh, but don't bowl me over
Just wait a minute well it kinda fell apart, things get so crazy, crazy
Don't rush this baby, don't rush this baby, baby

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I wanna take you, take you
Yeah, I will, I will, I will, I will, I will, yeah I will

I wanna push you around, you down
I wanna push you around, well I will

A flood of warmth flowed through her bloodstream as he ended the song. He was ready to sing again, even if he didn't truly believe it and she was proud of him.

"All I can say man, is if you don't get back to singing, it will be our loss," Adam said as a last comment when Tommy once again joined him center stage. "Tom Quincy everybody. Hopefully this is the start of his comeback."

Tommy swaggered backstage even as she could see the uncertainty in his light eyes. He looked so unsure, her heart melted a little more and she took his hand. He smiled when she squeezed his fingers.

"That was awesome. But why-"

"I had to tell you-I do know you."

Jude nodded, already understanding what he had been trying to say. She knew this had not been easy for him, to perform like that, after all this time. "I love you," she mouthed.

Darius had summoned them to his office the next day, a Cheshire Cat graced his full lips. He sat back in his oversized chair, reminding Jude of a throne, and surveyed the couple.

"You two did great last night," he complimented, making Jude sag in relief, not sure if he had been angry that she had changed the song at the last minute. "It's time to make it legit. I'll have G-major's publicist schedule you two a press conference. Right now the public likes you together. There are even rumors you're the reason Tommy's restarting his singing career Jude."

She tensed again, not expecting this, even though she should have.

The two of them stared at one another with quiet understanding before turning their eyes back to Darius, Jude's apprehension clear in her dark blue eyes.

"That's probably not a good idea right now Darius," she said slowly, trying to sound in control, even though her stomach roiled. Why did things have to be so complicated, no matter what she did?

"Why not? It's a little late to play the privacy card now with all the publicity the two of you have been getting. And your performances-It was pretty obvious…"

"Jude's married," Tommy interrupted, waiting for the yelling to begin.

Darius leaned forward, over the desk, his palms planted on the surface, looming as if he might leap over the desk. "Married?"

"Separated…" It sounded more like a question than an answer from her lips. She had never seen this stern side of him, even though she had always sensed it was there.

"She's in the process of getting a divorce D," Tommy added, as he squeezed her hand to steady her.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner Tom?" His dark eyes pinned Tommy to his chair.

The two men turned to Jude in surprise when she finally spoke up. "No offense Darius, but it's none of your business. I work for you. You don't own me."

"Look D, you were looking for an artist that had the goods. She's right-Her personal life isn't your concern."

"Are you really that naïve Tom?" Darius asked incredulously. "Once she signed the contract, her privacy was going to be broken. You should know that better than anyone!"

"Then what do you want us to do? We're together and that's not going to change," Jude said softly, glancing briefly at Tommy before turning her attention back the man in front of her.

"How much longer until the divorce is final?"

"About three months."

Darius tapped the arm of his chair as they waited for his verdict. "That's too long," he finally said. "Give me your information and lawyer's name. I'll see if I can get it through faster."

"Uh okay…I'll get it to you tomorrow." She was a little stunned by the sudden change in attitude.

"We should get back to work." Tommy said to her, ready to get them out of this tense situation.

"Get out of here," Darius commented. "Oh and try to keep your relationship under wraps until I figure out how to spin this," he added as they reached the door.

They nodded, slipping out of the spacious office, before he could stop them again.o;