Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-Back with Edward, and again, we go back in time a few days to before the piercings. Things are going to start to move along quickly after this chapter!

Thank you to everyone that reads, reviews, and supports this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are mine. Special thanks to Dannie, if it wasn't for her encouragement and faith in my writing, these boys wouldn't be here.

Now Edward's pov

"**~~**"

If on a winter's night he hadn't been willing to fight the darkness for me…

"**~~**"

"Because I'm gay."

He was gay.

Riley was gay.

He was in a wheelchair and he was gay.

Like me.

"You're gay," I repeated, as if hearing the words again would ease the shock.

Tossing me an amused glance, he nodded. "Surprised?"

"A little," I confessed. A lot was more like it.

When I didn't respond, he continued, "I've known for years, but didn't come out until about a year ago."

"How?"

He threw his head back in laughter, his hair swinging wildly before falling back into place. "Not sure I can explain the 'how'," he chuckled, then joked, "Something in my DNA I guess."

Suddenly, I saw Riley differently. The lips that curved up in a brilliant smile I imagined kissing down the flat planes of a guy's body. The hands I had watched push his chair and pass the basketball I now saw stroking another. The hair that was never out of place I pictured sweaty and tangled with long fingers running through it. Then beyond the images, I realized he was even stronger than I had first thought.

The longer I was silent, the more the amusement on his face gradually changed to concern, and I finally shook my head and clarified. "No, I mean how did you come out?"

"Oh," he said with relief before shrugging. "I was sick of hiding. Jared and I were tired of sneaking around. He was a few years older and had already come out to his parents, so we could be ourselves at his place. The more I was there and able to be myself, the more I realized I wanted that at home too. I was tired of my parents just thinking he was my friend."

"Was…was it hard?"

"It wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but it was the best thing I've ever done," he answered honestly, even a bit wistfully.

"Did your parents take it okay?" I asked worriedly.

There was a hesitation before he answered and I noticed his grip on the steering wheel tighten. "My mom was okay, my dad…didn't understand. Took him some time to come around."

"How long?"

Pursing his lips, he spoke thoughtfully, "I'm still waiting."

My heart sank. Logically, I knew our parents were different, just because his parents reacted a certain way didn't mean mine would behave the same, but there was a fear in my heart that warned me.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"How did it go when you came out?"

"I…I haven't," I swallowed.

"Jasper?" He raised a brow at me and I shook my head. "It makes sense now," he said with his trademark smile.

"What does?"

"The action in the truck the other night. If your parents are anything like mine, they probably hover a lot since the accident which doesn't leave you too much alone time."

My face heated up at the memory of Jasper on me in the truck, the desperation in his eyes as he begged me to touch him. Riley noticed the blush but didn't say anything. "No, it doesn't."

"Yeah, I remember. We had a lot of phone sex," he chuckled. "It's easier now that I'm out of the house."

"Do you live with your boyfriend now?"

"No," he sighed. "We broke up about six months ago."

"How come?" I blurted before I could stop myself.

"He said he wanted to focus on studying. We go to the same college. But I don't think that was it. Not all of it anyway."

I almost didn't dare ask, but found myself saying the words. "What do you think it was?"

For the first time since I'd met him, I saw a glimpse of sadness on his face. It was brief, but there was a definite flicker of anguish, of doubt, in his dark blue eyes. They lowered to his lap, taking in the still legs, the muscles that were no longer pushing against his skin.

"I think this," he waved a hand over his legs, "got to be too much for him. Not everyone can deal with it forever." Then his face brightened again, the pain was gone and the wide smile returned. It was like for a few seconds a mask had been lifted. "So tell me about Jasper, is he your forever?"

I thought he was. Part of me had no doubt Jasper would always be a part of my life, but my worry over burdening him with my life in the chair strengthened. It had been weeks since I'd last felt it, and while it was always just below the surface, Jasper had been able to keep it at bay with his constant presence and reassurance that he was exactly where he wanted to be. I knew better than to doubt him, and he would be pissed at me for even thinking of it briefly, but it was unavoidable. How could I not wonder if he was making the right choice?

If I was making the right choice…

My eyes finally wandered from Riley's relaxed driving to the window for the first time since we'd left my house. I felt my body tense.

It was near.

Perhaps behind me, maybe beside me, but I felt it there, eagerly floating toward me, ready to envelope me into its welcoming mist again. Closing my eyes, I wished it away, but knew damn well wishing wasn't going to do shit.

I needed Jasper.

I needed to hear him. I needed his voice in my ear, telling me it everything was all right.

There was a hand on mine, an unfamiliar warmth willing the clenched fingers loose until it was flat on my thigh.

"You okay? Need me to pull over or something?" The voice wasn't as sure as Jasper's but it was enough. The darkness skittered away, but not before promising to return.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and exhaled a long breath. "No, I'm okay," I finally replied.

He eyed me warily, judging my words. Had he been Jasper, he would have already pulled over and made me talk, but he wasn't Jasper. He was Riley.

And he was just like me.

His legs didn't work just like mine didn't.

He was in a chair just like I was.

He was gay like me.

"Things won't always been this hard, they will get better," he tried to assure me.

I hoped he was right, I wanted to believe him, believe I could be as accepting as he was.

Riley squeezed my hand before releasing it and giving me a flashy smile. "What do you think about the team this Saturday?" he asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know anything about them," I admitted. Right then, I couldn't even remember their name.

"They're pretty good, had a big post player last year…"

For the remainder of the ride, Riley talked basketball, everything from the upcoming game to the previous game, to practice that night, keeping my attention just enough to keep the darkness away. Before I realized what time it was, Riley was pulling into the parking lot of the gym. He stopped the van in a handicapped spot and turned it off.

"Does it bother you?" I asked suddenly.

"What?" he asked as his chair began to move backward on the tracks in the floor.

"That your boyfriend left you because of something you couldn't control?"

Reaching around, he grabbed his chair and pulled it to him before he lifted his legs with his hands and used his feet to balance while he transferred to the wheelchair.

"It hurt at first, but I don't want someone who can't see me for what I am inside. I had sixteen years of walking, some don't even get that. I'm the same person now I was then. Still gay, still like basketball and biking, still watch stupid reality shows and love my dog. This," he motioned to the chair, "isn't who I am. It doesn't define me. If someone asked me to describe myself, I wouldn't say paralyzed. The chair is merely how I get around."

He looked so young, energetic blue eyes with long hair hanging in them, but the words that came from him were wise well beyond his years.

"You okay from the drive?"

"Yeah, it wasn't too bad," I confessed.

"Must have been my exceptional driving skills," he teased. "Ready?"

He pressed a button next to the door and it began to slide open and the ramp automatically lowered. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my bag from the floor and moved my seat back, transferring into the wheelchair much like he had. Maneuvering my chair, I coasted down the ramp to Riley and he aimed his keys at the door and it began to close. I followed him up the ramp and into the building. The gym was still dark when we entered but we weren't there long before Sam and a few others showed up.

Practice went okay, I was less sore and made more shots, but it didn't feel right. My eyes constantly drifted to the bleachers, expecting to see Jasper sprawled there each time, my heart faltering slightly when I found them empty.

I was exhausted and sweaty after the scrimmage, and wanted nothing more than for Jasper to lift me into his truck and feel him next to me all the way home. Instead, I wheeled up a ramp, moved to seat and tried to listen to Riley's chatter, but I thought about nothing other than getting home and calling Jasper.

When Riley pulled into my driveway, I undid my seatbelt and moved to the wheelchair.

"Thanks for the ride," I said as the door began to open.

"Anytime," he replied. "See ya on Saturday, Cullen."

"Bye," I mumbled as I rolled down the ramp. He was backing out before I was even on the porch, giving me a wave out the window before driving away.

"How was practice?" my father asked from his desk when I closed the door.

"Good."

"There's leftovers in the fridge," he offered, looking at me in the doctor way he did sometimes.

"No, thanks. Just going to get into bed. Night," I said as I turned the chair toward my room. Nervously entering, I refused to look at the corner, knowing what I would find there. Quickly, I unzipped my bag and searched desperately for my phone, swearing when I didn't find it right away. As soon as I felt the smooth back of it, I pulled it out and tossed my bag on the floor. When it lit up, I saw a text message from Jasper.

Won both races, love you

The ache eased, but I needed more. Pressing his button, I put the phone to my ear. He didn't wait long to save me, before the first ring even finished, I heard him.

"Hey, baby," he sighed.

And with two words, the world fell back into place. The doubt that had showered me fell away like rain at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, love," I whispered. "I got your message. Congratulations. Sorry I wasn't there to see it."

"Me too. How was practice?"

"Tiring. We've got our second game on Saturday, so Sam went over plays to get us ready for it," I told him.

"Saturday, huh?"

"Yeah. Can you go?" I murmured.

"Just try and stop me. Where is it?"

"Port Angeles and it's late, not until five. I guess the other team is coming and spending the night."

"Cool. Maybe we can make a day of it? Hang around the city. Maybe I can treat my boy to lunch…"

I could spend years trying to figure it out, but I would never know how he did it, how he saved me time after time without realizing. "Mmm, that sounds really nice. I'd like that."

"Have you done your routine yet?"

"No, I wanted to call you first. Want to come with me while I go to the bathroom?" I didn't want to be apart from him even to go to the bathroom.

"Baby, you say the sexiest things."

He laughed and for the first time since I'd left him at school, I smiled. Keeping my eyes downward, I went to the corner and snatched a kit from the pile, feeling a cool breeze when I placed it on my lap. Spinning the chair around, I crossed the hall to the bathroom and put Jasper on speakerphone while I used the catheter. He chatted about the track meet, filling me in on what I'd missed. After I flushed the toilet, I brushed my teeth and returned to my room. I placed the phone on the bed while I found a pair of sweatpants to change into. It took longer than usual to change, I felt awkward and fumbled with the clothing, but I was finally lying on my pillow with my lifeless legs stretched out in front of me. Jasper's talking never ceased, he filled the silence with his deep voice and sexual innuendo until he suddenly announced he'd gotten a check from Ronaldo's.

"That's great. See, love, you're changing the world," I mumbled softly.

"One restaurant at a time."

I sighed, his velvet voice coaxing my heavy lids closed.

"Hey, you okay?"

I should have known he'd picked up on it. "Yeah, just tired."

"Ready for a song?"

"Yes, please," I breathed, wanting to hear nothing more right then.

Reaching down, I pulled the blanket over my legs and then waited. He began "I wanna Hold Your Hand", and I sang the second verse with him, making him laugh when my voice went high. We barely finished the song with our laughter, but once we did, Jasper seamlessly slipped into "Imagine."

I tried to imagine us, our lives together, our futures as entwined as our pasts. I tried to imagine Jasper not regretting his decision to ask me to marry him. I tried to imagine spending the rest of my life with him. I never heard the end of the song, I fell asleep trying to imagine.

"**~~**"

"Emmett," I growled, "I want to."

"No," he said firmly as I pulled the weights down. "You have a game tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"You'll be too sore. We can try again on Monday."

His tone left no room for debate and I sighed. Recalling how it felt to stand, even if I was assisted and wobbly I'd been waiting to use the braces again since Monday. I was tempted to argue with him, but decided it wasn't worth it, and in the end, he was right. After I finished ten reps of shoulder pulls, I let the weights down. He was standing in front of me, feet about shoulder width apart, large arms folded over an even larger chest. Starting at my feet, he looked me up and down.

"What?" I asked as I wiped my face with my shirt.

Tilting his head to the side, he smirked. "You seriously think you can take me one on one?"

"I know I can," I returned confidently.

"Let's do it."

"Right now?"

"Yep," he said as he headed for the door. "You, me, and some hardcore ball."

Pushing away from the weights, I followed him out the door and down the hall. I swear his shoulders almost touched the walls. Getting around his Hulk-like build wasn't going to be easy, but his size would hinder his speed. He held the door for me and I went down the ramp to the garage. I opened the door and Emmett ducked under it to grab the ball.

"First to twenty wins?" he asked, tossing it to me and I nodded. "You're going down, Cullen."

Lifting the ball, I faked left and when Emmett fell for it, I shot. He watched as it swished through the net. "You sure about that?"

"I let you have that," he huffed. "Just warming you up."

"Right," I laughed.

He shot from the foul line, making it easily before coming out the arc and shooting and air ball. He looked down at me, "I meant to do that."

"Sure you did."

"Should we have stakes, make it worth our while?"

"Like what?"

"If I win, you need to make sure there are brownies when I come over."

"Do you think of nothing else but eating?"

He held his massive arms out, inviting me to look at his body. "What do you think?" When I laughed, he said, "Ok, what are you terms?"

"If I win, you need to teach Jasper everything you can before he leaves for school. I want him to know as much as possible before he starts," I bartered.

"Deal," Emmett said, holding out his fist to bump it with mine. I bounced the ball to him and he tapped it back. "Anytime you're ready, sport. Let the game begin."

While one hand bounced the ball, my other gripped the handrim and I swung the chair to the right. Just as I thought, he shuffled to his left to defend me but as soon as he did, I lifted the ball and shot. He turned just in time to see it sail through the basket.

He jogged over to rebound it. "Lucky shot," he said. "Be prepared to be amazed, Cullen."

With both hands on the rims, I watched him shift his weight side to side. As soon as he went right, he left the ball unprotected and I reached for it, knocking it away.

"Damn it," he huffed. "Do over."

"Do over? We've barely started," I laughed, but handed him the ball.

Focusing more, he kept his body between me and the ball as he dribbled and worked his way toward the hoop. Using the chair, I stayed right on him, giving him enough room to move but keeping between him and the basket. He had a huge height advantage, there was no way I'd be able to block a shot, so I had to steal the ball or throw him off before he had a chance to shoot. He kept glancing at me and I could practically see his mind spinning as he tried to figure out what to do.

"C'mon, McCarty, show me what you got," I challenged him. My eyes never left his feet as he spun for a fade away shot. Sticking my arm straight up, I attempted to block it, but the ball went too high. Before I could turn around, I heard it bounce off the rim. "Do over didn't help."

"Just need to find my groove," he excused as he retrieved the ball.

I inbounded the ball and he passed it back. Instead of playing it safe and shooting from there, I dribbled by him, keeping the ball on the other side of my chair. Shuffling along next to me, he guarded me pretty closely, not letting me get the easy layup I was hoping for. Instead, I faked right, waited for him to take the bait, then shot.

"Did I tell you I had a full basketball scholarship?" I announced as the ball went into the basket.

"Little late," he grumbled.

Passing him the ball, I moved my chair to guard him on the arc, not surprised when he used his body to block me from the ball. Then he turned and ran by me, attempting a layup, but he went to fast and missed.

"Found that groove yet?" I teased as I grabbed the ball.

"Shut up, Cullen," he quipped, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he got in a defensive stance.

Not that it helped him much. I dribble to the left, bumping into him with the chair, but he pushed right back. It wasn't easy getting around him, but just as I thought, he wasn't fast and he fell for a fake every time, giving me the chance I needed to get off a shot. Emmett never gave up, he continued to play hard, even blocking a few of my shots and making some of his. By the time Jasper pulled up in the truck, I was six points ahead. Jasper sauntered up the driveway, standing to the side as Emmett drove for the basket and danced when he made the shot.

"Has he been doing that every time?" Jasper asked me, cringing at Emmett's victory dance. It was only slightly worse than Jasper's running man.

"Yeah, apparently it's his groove," I answered.

"You winning, babe?" Jasper winked at me.

"Hey, you can't call him that unless you've got a name for me," Emmett laughed.

"Loser?" Jasper returned quickly and Emmett pouted. "Okay, okay, Air Emmett."

"Better," Emmett said as he passed the ball to me. The chair was sitting a few feet past the three-point line as I dribbled. "Bet you can't make it from there."

Jasper snorted and shook his head, loose golden curls falling around his face.

"You sure?" I asked and Emmett nodded. "I make this, I win. I miss, we keep playing."

"I can play all night," Emmett said, standing to my side.

I glanced at Jasper one last time before lifting the ball. With the flick of my wrist, the ball arced through the air and into the basket. Emmett's jaw dropped as the ball rolled down the driveway, stopping only when Jasper stuck his foot out in front of it.

"Looks like you won't have to play all night, Air Emmett," Jasper chuckled, suppressing a laugh as he picked up the ball. "I bet he can make two in a row."

Emmett looked at me. "Double or nothing?"

"Sure."

Jasper threw me the ball, mouthing 'you can do it'. I positioned my hands, took a deep breath and released the ball into the air with a follow through. We all watched as it circled the rim and fell in. Jasper's grin couldn't be contained.

"Mad Cullen skills," he beamed.

Emmett sighed and held his hand out to me. "Good game, Cullen. You kicked my ass." Then he looked at Jasper. "Classes start on Monday. Can you be here by three?"

Jasper's brows furrowed in confusion and he glanced at me before quickly answering, "Yes."

"Good enough," Emmett said. "Be right back." He turned and took the porch steps in one leap before going inside.

"Classes?"

I turned the chair toward Jasper. "We bet on the game. I won so he has to teach you everything he can about PT before you leave for college."

"Edward, he doesn't have to do that," he sighed.

"He would anyway. He loves it and you know it."

"But…"

"Don't worry about it, kid, I'd like to give you a head start," Emmett said as he came down the steps with his bag in his hand. "I've had enough embarrassment for the day, I'm heading out. Monday, same time. Good luck at the game tomorrow."

"Thanks." He bumped my fist, and then Jasper's, before getting into his car and backing out. Jasper walked over until his shins were almost touching my feet. Squinting in the sun, he looked around the driveway.

"Where is everyone?"

"Dad is at work and mom took Alice shopping. I've been told I'm on my own for dinner."

"Oh really?" he asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. His hand reached out from his side, his fingertips not quite touching my arm. "You look like you got pretty sweaty playing."

I smiled. "I did."

"Maybe you should shower before they get home."

"Maybe I should." I lifted my hand enough so he could touch it and the charge surged through my body. How could something so simple turn me on so much? "I bet you got hot at practice."

"I did."

"I bet you could use a shower too."

"I could," he agreed. "How long do we have?"

"Probably about an hour, maybe a little more."

"More than enough time to get…clean," he whispered in an aroused voice. Dropping my eyes to his shorts, I saw his already semi-hard cock. Eager, I licked my lips and he groaned. "If we don't go inside right now…."

He didn't need to finish.

Whipping the chair around, I headed for the ramp while Jasper sprinted across the lawn and up the steps much like Emmett had. He reached the door before me, holding it open with his foot as he grabbed the hem of his tee shirt and began pulling it up his torso and over his head. We were barely inside the bathroom when he was kicking the door closed with his foot. He swayed as he simultaneously toed off his sneakers and hooked his thumbs in the elastic of his shorts before lowering them over his ass. Standing before me in nothing but his briefs, he looked at me with darkening eyes.

My gaze lazily tracked down his elegant neck, pausing at his racing pulse, then over his shoulders and collarbone to his pebbled nipples. The small muscles of his defined abdomen tightened in anticipation when my eyes rested on them, outlining the shadows of each one before continuing to dusting of dark blond that dipped under the wide gray band of his underwear. His useful, working legs were covered with muscles he earned from years of running, wrapping around his thighs down his calves, the sinewy lines visible just under his golden skin. No matter how much I stared at him, it was impossible to find a blemish on his body, one part of him wasn't perfect. He would argue otherwise, saying his lips were too big or his toes too long or his hair too wavy.

He would be wrong.

So very fucking wrong.

"Hey, babe," he murmured, stepping toward me. "Easier to shower if you're undressed."

Before I could think to stop him, he was tugging on my shirt. I lifted my arms straight up and he pulled the shirt off and tossed it on the floor. His brows furrowed as he debated on how to take off my sweatpants when I was sitting down. Crouching, he lifted a foot onto his knee and took of a sneaker, dropping it with a thud before doing the other. He was very focused on his work, slowly ridding my clothing one piece at a time, but the erection straining against the cotton of his underwear told me just how eager he was to have me naked. After my socks were off, he leaned toward me, snaking one arm around my back and forcing me forward. I don't know how he did it from that position, but somehow he raised my hips off the seat enough for his other hand to yank the sweatpants and underwear over my hips before setting me back down. Sitting back on his heels, he edged the pants down my thighs one side at a time until he could easily slide them over my knees and down my calves to the floor. Refusing to look at me deteriorating legs, I blushed under the blue heat of his lusty gaze.

"So beautiful," he sighed.

Leaning forward, his hands parted my knees and giving him room to bury his face in my crotch. His back rising as his lungs expanded with his deep breath. My head lulled back against the chair, my eyes closing as my hands found his hair and I tangled my fingers in the curls, feeling the slight movement of his head. Without looking, I knew he was running his tongue along my cock. If the motion of his head wasn't enough to tell me, the wet sounds of his lapping and groans were.

Then I felt it.

The softness of lips, the rough of a tongue, the nip of teeth.

"Oh, God," I moaned, my eyes snapping open.

Whipping my head up, I dropped my chin to my chest and watched Jasper as he worshiped the small spot on my thigh. My fingers gripped his hair as weak tingling began to tease the base of my neck. Suddenly, I wanted his lips and hands everywhere.

"Love," I groaned.

He raised his eyes to mine and I brushed the hair out of his face. Swiftly, all in one motion, he stood and scooped me into his arms. My arms went around his neck for extra support as he walked us into the shower stall. I thought he was going to set me on the chair but instead he nuzzled my head with his nose until I turned to him and he captured my lips in a deep kiss, sweeping his tongue through my mouth. He nibbled on my bottom lip before breaking the kiss and gently sitting me on the chair. I reached around him, turning on the shower and directing the nozzle at us while Jasper grabbed the body wash and poured it on a shower puff. Then he kneeled before me, and with reverent motions, he ran the puff over my chest and arms. There was a look of concentration on his face as he methodically washed me, not missing one inch on my body, even lifting my feet to wash under them. He took his time when he washed my dick, soaping up his hands and cleaning between my legs.

I knew he was doing it because he wanted to, but part of me couldn't help but wonder if this was the life he was meant to have. What able-bodied seventeen year should be bathing their paralyzed boyfriend? He deserved so much more, so much better. But as much as I thought that, I couldn't deny the look of pure love on his face as he worked, as if there was no place he would rather be right then than taking care of me.

He moved to my hair, lightly scratching my scalp with his nails as he massaged the shampoo into a thick lather before using the showerhead to rinse me off. Neither of us spoke except for a few moans, some louder groans, and an occasional contented sigh.

Once I was clean, he quickly washed himself. Standing in front of me, he gave me an amazing view of his wet body as water ran over the contours of his form in white, sudsy rivers. His muscles bunched and flexed and stretched as he reached and twisted to get every part of him. I watched him with a hungry stare, taking in the curve of his ass and his semi-erect cock thick and heavy between his legs.

Finally, he shampooed and rinsed his hair, slicking it back off his face. Then he stepped over to me, his body still soapy, and straddled my legs.

"Hey," he said seductively with a hint of his drawl. As if I wasn't already seduced by him being in the shower with me.

"Hey," I murmured, looking up at him.

His body blocked the spray of water from me and steam filled the stall. Reaching up, I skimmed his thigh with my fingertips, not surprised when his cock twitched. My fingers moved over his hipbone and up his side as far as I could reach before crossing his body and coming down the middle, threading through his trimmed hair and wrapping around his length. He fell forward, his hands landing on my shoulders as he spread his legs apart even more. Biting my lip, I pumped him a few times, earning a loud moan and soft 'fuck'.

He eased himself onto my lap and sat on my thighs. Releasing him, I curved a hand around his neck and drew him toward me for a long kiss. Tearing his lips from mine, he moved his mouth over my jaw, forcing my head back so he could feast on my neck. When I felt his teeth sucking on the delicate skin, I knew he was tempted to leave a mark, and I was tempted to let him, but he continued down along my collarbone.

"What do you want?" he mumbled against me.

"I want to watch you," I told him. Lifting his head, he looked at me as he leaned back slightly and reached between us.

"Oh, fuck," he moaned, his Adam's apple bobbing when his head fell back in delight. My eyes dropped from his face to his cock, surprised when I saw his long fingers wrapped around both of us. Lather coated our cocks as his hand stroked in a steady rhythm.

It was fucking hot.

I wasn't completely hard, but it didn't matter, my dick was pressed against his in his clenched fist, both reddened heads squeezed together. It still seemed strange that I could see him touching me, see my cock rubbing his, but had my eyes not looked, I wouldn't have known. Before the accident, his hand on my cock would have sent saves of pleasure up my spine, but now it was almost as if it wasn't happening. His hips rocked on my thighs in time with his languid pumps. My boy was taking his time. Resting one hand on his hip, I danced the other up his chest to a nipple, tweaking it hard. Immediately, his back ached and he cried out.

"Do you like that?" I asked, damn well already knowing the answer.

Unable to speak, he nodded and slowly lifted his head, his half lidded eyes falling on mine. Putting one hand on my shoulder, he used me as leverage and slid forward on my legs, putting his nipples within range of my mouth. It only took one pleading look from him before I was taking a nipple into my mouth, sucking and biting on it hard. With the amount he moved, it was amazing he didn't slide off my lap. I moved my hand from his hip around to his back, spanning my fingers to give him some support to lean against as he chased his orgasm. There was less room for his hand between us and his pace became erratic. I moved my lips to his other nipple, lavishing it much the same way, tugging on it roughly until he was writing on my lap. His glistening body tasted a little soapy, but I didn't stop exploring every inch I could reach.

"Gonna come," he whimpered breathlessly.

Releasing his skin, I sat back and stared at the furious motion of his hand over our cocks. Little gasps of breath washed my face as he desperately tried to reach his orgasm. It hit him a few strokes later, his cock emptying in short bursts of cum. I was torn between watching his face as he jumped into the few seconds of ecstasy or watching his cock as it pulsed and shot cum onto us, coating his fingers and my own cock. A vicious shudder wracked his body as he milked his cock.

"Jesus, babe," he sighed, his eyes fighting to focus on me.

My hands had returned to his hips, still bucking as the remnants of his climaxed traveled through his body. The air sparked when he looked at me, the dampness around us doing nothing to dull the intensity. Releasing us, he moved even closer, lifting his ass enough for my cock to slide under him.

Putting his hips at my ear, he murmured, "A few more inches and you could slip inside me. You're already lubed."

He hissed through gritted teeth as his slick ass ground my cock. My nails dug into his hips as I pressed him down on me, not feeling any of it, but knowing my cock was teasing his entrance. It would so easy to say yes, to shift his weight and let him impale himself on me. It was what he wanted, what we had both wanted since our first kiss. Neither of us had minded waiting, we knew that someday we would take that last step together, someday we would connect in the most intimate way possible. We didn't mind waiting because time was on our side….

Little did we know our time had been running out, precious seconds and minutes and hours ticking away and limiting our time to be normal kids.

As much as I knew he wanted to make love, wanted me, I couldn't do it, not then, and…maybe not ever.

Groaning, I stopped the motion of his hips and took his lips with mine, sucking and tasting until the water began to run cool. Never once did he complain I had stopped us. Never once did a look of frustration cross his face. No sighs or rolling of his eyes, just his hands constantly toying with the ends of my hair while mine gripped his hips.

"I fucking love you," he whispered in into the kiss, his body trembling in my arms.

I broke the kiss, smiling at him as he looked at me. "I fucking love you too."

Laughing, he put his forehead to mine. "Should we get out?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

After one last kiss, Jasper stood up and rinsed himself off before doing the same to me. While I turned off the water, Jasper opened the door. He lifted me from the chair and walked out of the shower. Instead of putting me in the wheelchair, he walked to the cabinet.

"Grab some towels," he instructed.

I did as he asked, putting them on me. He turned us toward the door and I opened it with one hand. We listened for sounds of life in the house before he darted us bare-assed across the hall to my room, closing my door with his foot before laying me on the bed. I handed him a towel and he dried off, briskly rubbing it over himself. I did the same, but a bit slower.

We were both dry, and naked, caught in each other's gazes. For a moment, I thought he was going to go for round two, the desire igniting in his eyes once again. Just as I was going to warn him we didn't have time, he broke the trance and went to my dresser, pulling out clean clothes. He threw me a pair of sweatpants, a tee shirt, and underwear. For himself, he pulled out a pair of my sport shorts and my Abbey Road tee shirt. He left the room and returned with the chair, leaving it next to my bed.

We spent the remainder of our time together wrapped up in each other's arms on my bed. Jasper draped his body on mine, singing and laughing with me in between kisses. There were opportunities to tell him about Riley, and maybe I should have, but part of me thought it wasn't my place. Riley claimed he was out, but it wasn't up to me to tell Jasper that Riley was gay. Our conversation focused on us, our wedding and our summer together. Assuming he would spend the night, I was surprised when he said he should leave.

"You need sleep," he said, his fingers tracing the dark circles under my eyes, "for the game tomorrow."

I wanted him there with me, next to me all night, but if he stayed, there would be less sleeping and more making out. He kissed me goodbye, told me he loved me and gathered his dirty clothes from the bathroom before sneaking out of the house.

I was debating on doing my nightly routine when my phone rang.

"You can't be home already," I answered. "Even you don't drive that fast."

He laughed, "No, but I missed you."

I don't know how it was possible, but I missed him too.

"**~~**"

"I'm hungry," he said, handing me a soda.

"Me too."

Jasper had been right, I did need sleep, and I had gotten some. He'd kept me on the phone while he drove home and then through my nightly routine. Back in bed, he sang as I glanced at the corner several times to make sure I was alone. There were hints of the darkness, but I closed my eyes and concentrated on Jasper and nothing else.

The phone was still on my ear when I woke up hours later. I could hear his snoring.

He was at my house even before I was dressed, fixing us breakfast while I did my routine and dressed. After everything was packed, we told my parents we would see them at the game and Jasper helped me into the truck. For the entire ride there, I'd sat next to him, my head on his shoulder, my hand on his thigh.

We arrived in Port Angeles around lunch time and picked out a pizza place for lunch. After ordering, Jasper took away a chair at a table so I could pull right up to it. He seemed anxious about something the entire time. I was in the process of explaining a new play to him when I noticed his eyes kept drifting from my sketching to my face, then quickly back down again. When he began biting his lip, I knew something was definitely up.

"Hey, baby," he said softly. My attention went from the napkin to his face and I saw the nervousness there. My heart leapt, skipping several beats. "Since we're here and out of Forks, I was…I was wondering if…if maybe we could…lookatrings."

At first, it made no sense. His words were mashed together, bubbling from him in an excited rush.

But I caught the word 'rings'.

My mind raced and caught up to what he was asking. "You want to look at wedding rings?" I whispered with surprise. Asking me to marry him was one thing, but actually buying rings was something else entirely.

"I figure it's safe here because no one knows us. We could just look and see what there is," he rationalized.

Could we? Could two boys, teenage boys, walk into a store and look at wedding bands? Would we get kicked out? Would it matter? Jasper wanted to marry me regardless, and I'd said yes. Rings were a part of that, the next logical step in getting married.

"I'd like that," I admitted quietly.

"Yeah? I know there's a place about a block from here."

"How do you know that?"

"Google."

The man behind the counter said our pizza was ready. Jasper got it and brought it back to the table with plenty of napkins. It tasted delicious, just the right amount of grease and cheese and sausage. I was enamored with a bit of cheese hanging between Jasper's lips when a small voice spoke.

"Mama, why's that boy in a funny chair?"

I turned, finding a young boy with his mother at the counter.

"Because he's crippled, Dylan. His legs don't work and he can't walk," his mother replied, not even looking at me.

Instantly, Jasper dropped his pizza and began to push his chair out. I grabbed his wrist. "Don't."

"Edward, let me go."

"He's just a kid," I reasoned.

"His mother isn't. Now let me go."

"No. It's not worth it."

Being looked at was something I was going to have to get used to. Ignorance was everywhere, little kids, their parents, my peers, and nothing I did was going to change that. It was sad, but fact. And Jasper would exhaust himself if he tried to take them all on.

"Babe, it's not right," he sighed.

"I know, but I have to get used to it. It's something I need to deal with for the rest of my life. It's okay."

"No, it's not, but if you don't want me to say something, I won't. But, trust me, Edward, I want to rip her fucking head off."

"I know, that's why I stopped you. I don't have enough bail money." I gave him a smile and released his arm when I was sure he wasn't going to bolt up from his chair.

We finished our lunch, never quite regaining the happiness we'd felt after we'd first arrived. Jasper emptied the trash, and before I could call out to stop him, walked over to the woman and her son.

"For your information, we're on our way to basketball game where he is the starting point guard, he's also valedictorian of our class and been accepted to UW. Maybe next time you should take the time to know the person before you go assuming what they can and can't do."

My face heated as he spoke, but I couldn't help but feel proud of him, how protective of me he was.

My superhero.

"Sorry," he murmured when he returned.

"I can't keep you on a leash," I chuckled, backing up my chair and going toward the door.

A few minutes later, we were pulling up in front of a jewelry store. Shifting into park, he turned to me, offering me an out, reminding me that anyone in the store would know we were a couple. I couldn't deny it made my stomach churn, but Jasper had been brave enough to ask me to marry him, the least I could do was look at rings with him.

Convinced I was okay with it, he got the chair and helped me into it. The wide birth people gave me on the sidewalk didn't go unnoticed. I didn't know if it was because they were afraid of me running into them, or perhaps they thought paralysis was contagious. Either way, I refused to meet their eyes, I didn't need to see their pity.

At the store, Jasper helped me up the two steps in front of the door before backing me inside until I could turn around. Immediately a woman approached us, offering assistance, and Jasper bravely spoke up while my own heart pounded.

"We want to look at wedding bands."

"Which one of you is getting married?" she asked innocently.

"We are," he repeated, putting his hand on my shoulder. "We want to look at wedding bands."

She motioned us to another case and we moved down in front of it. Then she asked what we had in mind. I could have told her exactly how I'd always imagined out wedding rings, the cut, style, even the engraving, but I wasn't sure that was what she meant. Looking up at Jasper, I took his hand from my shoulder and laced our fingers together.

"Something simple," I replied to her.

Opening a glass case, she began to point out different bands, taking the time to explain the pros and cons with each style. She pulled out a silver band, detailing the weight and size, but it was the simplistic design I liked. Offering to let us try it on, she set it on a velvet cloth.

Carefully, as if it would break in his grasp, Jasper picked it up and placed it in my open palm. I ran my finger over the edge, unable to believe that something so small could mean forever?

Holding my left hand, Jasper took the ring and slipped it on my ring finger. It was hardly a perfect fit, but the image shocked me.

It looked so…normal.

Like it'd always been there, weightless on my hand but its meaning heavy in my heart. A circle to bind us for eternity, entwining our lives and making him mine.

"What do you think, baby?" Jasper smiled at me.

"I think it's perfect. You try it."

He took the ring off my finger and put it in on his. It looked more amazing on him. Jasper stared at it, his eyes lighting up with possibilities as he chewed on his lip. When he finally met my gaze, I asked him what he thought.

His reply mirrored my own. "It's perfect."

That was all I needed.

I told the girl we would take them and she measured our sizes before going out back to see if the rings were in stock. Jasper didn't think I saw the glare he gave the old lady in the corner but it was hard to miss the way his lip turned up in a warning sneer. He brushed off my concern before asking if I like the ring.

"It's just like I imagined," I confessed.

"You've imagined what our rings would look like?" he teased.

Before I could admit just how much I'd imagined our wedding day, the salesgirl reappeared. She had us try the rings to make sure they fit and then asked about engraving. Suddenly, Jasper asked if he could get something else engraved too and pulled out his keychain. She examined it and then said asked what he wanted on it.

"Can you add 'baby' after the 'be safe' and then 'see ya soon, love' under it?" he said quietly, glancing at me.

The girl filled out the form for the keychain and asked what we wanted engraved on the rings. I knew what I wanted, what I had always thought should be on them, but it wasn't until I looked up at Jasper that I knew for sure he wanted it too.

Because I was amazed by him, by everything he did, everything he was, and I was pretty sure he felt the same way about me.

Taking his hand, I kissed the back of it and without taking my eyes off Jasper, answered her question.

"Maybe I'm amazed."

When the paperwork was all filled out, she rang us up. I knew Jasper had the money, but I paid regardless. I wanted, needed, to do something in any way I could. Of course, he argued with me, but when I pleaded with him to let me, he gave in. Curling a hand around my neck, he tilted my head back and then swept his lips over mine briefly before putting his mouth at my ear and telling me he loved me.

The salesgirl returned, gave us our paperwork and receipts and said we would get a phone call when the rings and keychain were done. Jasper helped me out of the door and down the steps onto the sidewalk.

We still had plenty of time until the game so we made our way down the bumpy sidewalk, glancing at storefronts.

I hadn't planned on anything so drastic, I hadn't planned on anything like that at all, but it was fate when I saw the sign. Jasper bumped into me and asked what was wrong. Lifting my hand, I pointed to the small building across the street.

Maybe it was stupid and foolish, but when I saw the sign, images from my dreams haunted me. The way Jasper sat on me, his fingers flicking the hoops in my nipples, the way I moved under his affectionate touches. It would be something for me, well, for us, that I could do. Perhaps it was a rebellion against the chair, against my new life. My legs were gone, I couldn't get them back, but my upper body was all mine, and I could feel it, sometimes more intensely than I ever felt anything.

I barely heard Jasper call out after me as I crossed the street. My heart raced as I neared the building, it was the right thing to do. I needed it. When I reached the steps, I turned the chair and waited for Jasper as he jogged to catch up with me.

"What are we doing here?"

Then I told him about the dream, a detail I'd left out before thinking it wasn't important. It wasn't until then that I realized just how important it was. As soon as I told him, he went quiet, swallowing his words and looking away and shifting uncomfortably.

"You hate the idea," I sighed. If he didn't want them done, I wouldn't do it.

"No," he said crouching in front of me and taking off my sunglasses. "Babe, don't get me wrong, it sounds fucking hot, but it's…"

"What?"

"It's not you," he answered.

Maybe he was right, maybe it wasn't me. But I wasn't me anymore, very little of my old life remained. I got around differently, I ate differently, I pissed and shit differently, I even slept differently. I was stuck, stagnant with little control. There was only one thing about my old life that had followed me into my new….

Jasper.

He was still there, still loving me.

If anyone would understand, it would be him.

"Maybe it is now," I said sharply before sighing and looking away. When our eyes met again, I explained. "Jas, so much has been taken from me, I just want to do something that's just for me, a kind of 'fuck you' to fate."

Giving me a smile, he corrected me. "You've got that wrong. This wouldn't just be for you."

"Maybe my dream was trying to tell me something. And you know," he paused, glancing around and leaning closer before speaking in a hushed tone, "how sensitive they are now. Maybe this might help with…ya know." He unknowingly released a small groan and I knew he was putty in my hands. A few more words, and he would convinced. "I'll let you play with them."

He fought the image and tried to remain rational, wanting to know how I was going to explain to my parents. Right then, I didn't care if they found out, I would deal with that later. He wisely countered with the game, saying it would hurt to play. I had to give him credit, as aroused by the idea as he was, he was somehow managing to put up a good argument. Sometimes I forgot just how stubborn he was, just like he forgot how determined I was when I put my mind to something. Then he shocked me.

"Can you get a cock piercing too? I mean, you wouldn't feel it." He blushed as soon as he said, as if couldn't stop himself from blurting it out.

It had never occurred to me to my dick pierced, it was nothing I would benefit from, but he would. There was only one thing that stopped me. I was embarrassed enough to be naked with Jasper, to let him see and touch me, I couldn't let a stranger do it, not willingly, not yet.

"I'd have to show them my dick. I don't know if I can do that," I apologized.

"It's okay, it was stupid to ask. You sure you really want to do this? It's kind of a big thing, baby."

"Yeah, Ineed to do this. It probably seems foolish to you but I've no control over anything anymore, love. Not even my fucking bladder. I want to do something because I can, not because I have to."

The battle was won with those words. Not that I ever doubted he would be on my side, he just needed to play his role responsibly before agreeing it was something I needed.

He helped me inside and we looked around as we neared a counter in the middle of the room. It was set up as I expected, a small waiting area and a private area sectioned off with an opaque screen and artwork of every design decorating the walls and screen. Before I had a chance to reconsider what I was doing, a guy walked through a door from the back. He was big and covered in tattoos.

"Hey, boys, what can I do for you?"

I tried to sound braver than I felt. "I want to get my nipples pierced."

"What are you looking for? Ring? Barbell?"

"Oh, umm…I don't know. Barbell, I guess."

The man finally looked at us, really looked at us, and he knew right away. "Are you eighteen? The state of Washington requires people to be eighteen for body piercings."

That was it. All the courage I had left me when I shook my head. He apologized, even sounded sincere, but as Jasper turned around, I took a deep breath. I wasn't going to give up, not yet.

"Listen, I know I'm not eighteen, but I'm stuck in this chair for the rest of my life. I can't feel shit below my waist, but I can above it, and I…I just want something to do something I can feel," I implored to him.

For a long moment, he stared at me through his wire-rimmed glasses, looking me up and down, taking in the metal prison around me before finally asking how old I was.

"Seventeen. I'll be eighteen in October," I answered honestly.

After I assured him we wouldn't tell anyone he did it, he agreed and I couldn't help but grin and thank him. He introduced himself as Randy and then directed us to the room behind the screen where there were two small studios set up, each with a dentist chair in the middle. Randy boldly asked if Jasper was my boyfriend, then teased that the piercings were as much for him as they were for me. Jasper lifted me into the leather dentist chair and then Randy showed me my jewelry options.

The book was full of pictures of every part of the body pierced, lips, nose, nipples, dicks, hips…even places I would have never imagined. I settled on a silver barbell and showed it to Jasper, who squeaked out his approval. As Randy readied the equipment, he explained exactly what he was going to do. I asked a few questions about pain and healing, but no matter his answers, and even Jasper's long sigh about having to wait three weeks to play with them wasn't enough to deter my decision. My mind was made up.

I was going to get pierced.

"Okay then, off with the shirt," Randy said.

Leaning forward, I pulled the hem of my jersey up and over my head before leaning back against the chair. I'd never been shy about my body, but while I hated to show my legs now, I had no problem going shirtless. Five months of lifting weights had its advantages. I didn't even blush when Randy acknowledged my build.

"Ready?" Randy asked.

"Can he hold my hand?"

"Sure. He'll just have to switch sides when I finish this one."

I looked at Jasper to find him staring at me, his eyes freely roaming my chest, arms, and abs. I don't think he was aware of his erection or how many times he licked his lips.

"Stop gawking at me and c'mere," I teased him. Stepping toward me, he bumped into a table before making it to my side and taking my hand. Once our fingers weaved together, I was ready.

I watched as Randy cleaned my nipple, much I like I cleaned the head of my cock when I used a catheter, before clamping it. It pinched at first, but I was relaxed. After Randy put the dots in place, he had me check them in a mirror. I approved the position and he grabbed the needle. Bending over, he placed the needle on the outside of my nipple.

"Deep breath in, then exhale. Relax," he instructed.

My eyes locked with Jasper's as I took in a breath and released it slowly. There was a sharp sting, only a few seconds of pain and I tensed, squeezing Jasper's hand before an ache replaced the pain.

"It's in," Randy announced as he sat back.

Jasper was the first to look, his eyes eagerly dropping to my nipple, a small gasp escaping him at the sight. Following his gaze, I looked down and saw two silver balls on either side of my nipple, which was red with a few drops of blood.

"Fuck," Jasper's groaned and I laughed. Jasper switched sides, taking my other hang and asking me if it hurt.

"Stings, but not too bad," I answered, looking down at it. "How's it look?"

As if I didn't know he liked it.

"Fucking hottest thing I've ever seen," he murmured.

"Someone's going to have fun in three weeks," Randy teased before repeating the procedure on my other nipple. Attempting to stay as relaxed as possible, I still felt myself tense when he slid the needle through. When he was done, Randy admired his work and cleaned up the blood that seeped from the first one.

Jasper hadn't moved, transfixed by two shiny piercings. I think he wanted to play with them right then. Keeping him away from them for three weeks wasn't going to be easy.

"I think you're drooling," I smirked at him.

"Babe, I don't know what I was thinking when I tried to talk you out of this," he admitted.

Then he lifted his other hand, tracing a wide circle around a nipple. There was no controlling the quivers going through me as the fire he controlled sparked at the base of my broken spine and spread outward.

"Feel good?"

"Yeah," I almost moaned.

I put my shirt back on as Randy flirted with Jasper and went over my aftercare directions. Jasper carefully moved me back to the chair and we went to the counter to pay, where Jasper pulled out his money and paid before I could protest.

Then I asked a question I never thought I would hear myself say. "Do you do cock piercings?"

"I do, but not until your officially eighteen," Randy answered.

"Deal. I'll see you in October. Thanks so much. I appreciate it."

"We appreciate it," Jasper smiled.

It wasn't until we were outside and I went to the give the chair a big push when I realized the motion was going to cause some discomfort. At the truck, I took the aspirin Jasper offered and buckled up for the short ride to the gym. Jasper assumed I wanted to get their early to shoot around, but there was something else I wanted more than basketball.

I wanted Jasper.

He went to open his door and I stopped him. Instantly, he asked if I was okay. I was more than okay. I'd just done something spontaneous, I was going to play basketball, and right then, I was with my boy. It didn't get any better than that. Turning my head to the side, I told him I loved him, earning me a kiss and a murmured 'I love you' in return. He wasn't surprised when I deepened the kiss, but he was surprised when I began to stroke him through his khaki shorts.

"Babe, what are you doing?" he gasped, his hips already lifting to press against my hand.

"Thanking my boyfriend for supporting me," I mumbled, forcing him closer so I could kiss along the salty skin of his neck.

"Jesus. What about being careless, it's daylight." His words might have been warning me but his voice held nothing except desire and hope I wouldn't stop.

I glanced around outside the truck. The parking lot was empty and the way he'd pulled it made it hard for anyone on the street to see inside the cab. Telling him to stay still, I lowered his zipper, shocked when I realized he hadn't gone commando. Pulling his briefs over his erection, I embraced it in my fist and began to pump him. His reaction was instantaneous, closing his eyes and groaning as he tried to do as I'd asked and keep still. He was halfway successful, his upper body remained quiet but his hips thrust into my hand as much as the cramped space would allow. Pushing his hair away from his ear, I replaced it with my lips.

"I can't wait for you to suck my nipples. I can't wait to feel your tongue on me. Gonna feel so good and make me come hard."

"Yeah," he rasped.

Twisting his hair in my other hand, I tempted him. "Wanna come, love? I bet you want to shoot your load all over my chest, huh?"

"Jesus, fuck, yes," he groaned before begging wantonly, "Harder, faster."

Quickening my pace, I stroked him just how he liked. I tilted my head to his, our foreheads touching as he tried to pry his eyes open to watch my hand on him. When his cock pulsed and I knew he was coming, I took my hand from his hair and moved it to his chest, holding his shirt up as I smashed my mouth to his, muffling his grunts as he came. His cock erupted, cum running down my hand and landing on his abs. We kissed through his climax, his body weak with shudders until his hips finally stilled. Grabbing some napkins, I wiped him clean while he sucked on my neck. I lifted my hand to his mouth and watched him lick my fingers clean of his cum, his eyes sparkling with the orgasm still flowing through him.

"So fucking worth the risk," I breathed.

"**~~**"

Everything was sideways, the bleachers, my teammates, the wheels on the chair rolling up to me, all of it was horizontal. Air rushed from my lungs as I realized I was lying on my side. Seconds seemed like minutes as my mind raced to figure out why I was on the floor.

"You okay, Cullen?" a voice asked as the wheels rolled to a stop near me.

The game had started, the other team aggressively using their chairs to block us from passes and shots. Everything they were doing was within the rules, they were just hitting harder than other teams. The sheer size of their players put a lot of force behind each slam of their chair.

I'd looked at Riley, and spotting him under the net, went to pass him the ball as I turned to my left to avoid the other team's defense. Just as the ball left my hands, I was hit from behind, jarring the chair so hard I lost balance and tipped over. It wasn't impossible for the chairs to get knocked over, but it wasn't easy either. As I planted my hands on the lacquer floor to upright myself, I saw familiar sneakers on the sidelines, pausing to wait for my signal. Almost as soon as I had fallen, I had seen him jump up from his seat and take the bleachers by two until he was on the floor. He'd even stood before my parents had, my dad concerned while my mom put her hand over her heart.

They didn't need to worry, I was fine. What could happen to me anyway? It couldn't get much worse than being paralyzed.

Raising a hand, I grabbed the one that was held out for me. Clasping it, I used my other hand to push off the floor as Riley pulled me up. Once I was upright, I glanced at Jasper, letting him with know with a slight nod I was okay and he could sit down. After thanking Riley, I gave thumbs up to Sam and the officials and the game continued.

Leary of being hit so hard again, I remained cautious, but played with as much aggression defensively as they did, using my chair to block and cut them off. Sweat rolled down my face, soaking my game jersey as I shot, directed, and passed. It was a hard first half, and I spent halftime on the sidelines listening to Sam while looking at Jasper. Worry etched his face in furrowed brows and pursed his lips, but his eyes were steady and unwavering in support. He might have been the first one out of his seat to help me, but he was going to be the first one who realized I was okay and let me keep playing.

It was going to be more difficult to convince my parents.

The second half began and I eased the chair onto the court, giving my parents an encouraging smile. My mother still looked frightened but my father returned my smile. Paul inbounded the ball to me and I dribbled down court, keeping an eye on all the players, watching and waiting for one of my teammates to be free. We were shooting well, but the other team wasn't making it easy on us and we were working for every shot we got. In the end, our hard work paid off and we won by a few points.

I'd never been more exhausted after a game before. Sweaty and thirsty, I wheeled over the bleachers, managing a tired smile as Bella, Newton, Eric, and Angela approached. There were a few fist bumps and congratulations on the win before they said goodbye. Behind them, my parents patiently waited and I prepared myself for their warnings.

"Are you okay?" my father asked, his doctor eyes roaming over my left side that had been pressed to the floor.

"I'm fine, it's wasn't bad, just tipped over."

My mother hugged me extra tight, and until then I had been so focused on the game I'd forgotten what I'd done earlier, but when I reached up to return her embrace, I felt a stab of pain in my nipple. Wincing, I released her, quickly smiling to alleviate her concern.

"I'm fine, Mom," I said, holding out my arm, "See? No damage."

"We'll talk tomorrow," she warned. Resigned it was unavoidable, I nodded. They gave me one last hug and then said they would meet me at home.

As they walked off, Jasper stepped forward. His eyes didn't share their concern, he knew what I was capable of taking. Instead, the side of his mouth turned up and he tapped my wheel with his foot.

"Didn't think you could fall over in that thing," he teased.

"The guy was a fucking tank," I mumbled. "You would have fallen over too."

Laughing, he motioned toward the door and I turned, rolling alongside him. I glanced over to Riley on the sidelines, giving him a wave before leaving the gym. At the truck, I tossed my bag inside and Jasper lifted me before securing my chair in the back. Opening the door, he hopped inside and buckled up. I slid to his side as he started the truck and backed out of the space. I never remember him entering the highway, my eyes closed and my head lolled to the side, resting on his shoulder. I was only vaguely aware of him singing with the music.

It wasn't until he was nudging me with his shoulder that I realized I'd fallen asleep.

"I think you drooled on me," he chuckled as I lifted my head.

"Sorry." I stretched and sat upright. We were parked in my driveway next to my parents' car.

"Maybe it won't be so bad," Jasper offered before I'd even said anything.

I hoped he was right, but had a feeling he wasn't. I'd worked hard to convince my parents, especially my mother, that basketball was safe and I wouldn't get hurt, and while I hadn't been hurt, the fall was surely enough to scare her into not letting me play. I only hoped my dad felt differently.

Jasper helped me into the chair and followed me with my empty basketball chair. Even with my mother's promise of waiting until the next day to talk, I still expected to be questioned when I opened the door. I was relieved when the living room was empty, but I could hear someone in the kitchen. Jasper parked the chair by the front door and followed me down the hallway. Rolling by the kitchen, I peeked in to see my dad standing at the fridge with the door open. When I went to keep going, he spoke up.

"Did you get hurt?"

"No, I didn't feel a thing," I said automatically, instantly regretting my choice of words.

"Not funny," he said firmly, closing the door. "Not now."

"Dad, I promise, I'm fine. Just embarrassed I let it happen."

Jasper stood behind me and my father glanced at him. Something passed between them but was over before I could glance up at Jasper.

"As long as you're okay. Why don't you get some rest, we can talk more tomorrow," my father said, returning his eyes to mine.

It wasn't even that late, but I nodded. In my room, I rolled over the window. After Jasper closed the door, he walked to me and climbed onto my lap careful to keep his weight off my chest. With his head on my shoulder, he put his arm around my neck.

"I don't know what I'll do if they take this away from me," I whispered to him, my eyes never leaving the backyard and the covered pool that would soon be open again for the summer.

"They won't," he promised quietly.

I wanted to believe him, I chose to believe him, and putting my temple to his, closed my eyes. We remained like that for some time, silent and holding each other. His hand sought mine and our fingers brushed skin and his lips kissed my neck. His head suddenly snapped up and I opened my eyes to find him grinning at me.

"What?"

"We bought wedding rings," he said with a giggle.

"I got my nipples pierced," I added.

He thought for a second before replying, "Yeah, you're right, that wins." Leaning toward me slightly, he pressed his lips lightly to mine before running his tongue over my bottom lip and tugging it into his mouth. His fingers twisting the ends of my hair sent a shiver through me and I angled my head to deepen the kiss before he pulled away.

"Want to go to bed?" he asked, his eyes alight with the desire that always hovered in them, sitting on the outer edges of his irises until something ignited it. As much lust that was swirling in the blue of his eyes, we both knew there wasn't going to be anything but talking and sleeping in bed. He hadn't asked to sleep over, we both just assumed he was.

I nodded and he got off me, stretching from the cramped position of his six foot frame draped over a wheelchair. Pushing over to the corner, I grabbed a kit and then left the room to do my nightly routine. In the bathroom, I used the catheter and brushed my teeth before lifting my shirt and examining the piercings. My nipples were still slightly red, but there was no swelling or blood. Smiling, I let my shirt cover them up again and went back to my room.

Jasper was already changed, a pair of my sweatpants hanging low on his hips as he threw his dirty clothes into a pile on the floor. He watched while I transferred to the bed and began to change, his eyes fixated on my hands as I slowly lifted my shirt over my head. A soft gasp escaped him when my nipples were revealed.

"Can we fast forward three weeks," he murmured. I don't think he was even aware he'd said anything aloud.

Chuckling, I shifted to take off my shorts and Jasper sucked in a breath. "What?" I twisted trying to look at my side. Reaching out, he gripped my elbow and turned my arm inward. A large bruise of muted blues and purples had formed on the outside of my bicep. "Shit," I groaned.

Once my mother saw that, basketball would be done.

"How bad is it?"

"It's pretty high, I think you can cover it with shorts sleeves. Does it hurt?" he asked, studying it with his mother's practiced eye.

"No, I didn't even know I had it."

His lips pursed as he touched around the bruise, judging my reaction when he pressed harder. "Jas, it's fine."

Nodding, he released my arm. "It's not swollen and it might hurt more tomorrow, keep an eye on it."

As if he wouldn't for me, but I promised anyway. "I will."

Jasper dropped to his knees to pull off my shorts and put my feet into the pajama bottoms I'd grabbed from the drawer. After a delicate kiss to my thigh, he let me pull them up and I dragged myself up the bed until my head was on the pillows. Making sure the door was closed tightly, Jasper climbed over me, purposely taking his time to slide his ass over my hips, his intense eyes darkening and rolling back slightly before he settled on the other side of me and placed a kiss on my bruised bicep. Instead of lying his head on my chest, he propped himself up on his elbow and let his free hand draw lazy figure eights around my pierced buds. Each track of the tips of his fingers sent a small shudder through me. I couldn't help but wonder how something so light felt so good, what was it going to feel like when he could really touch me. Feeling his warm chest pressed against my side, I ran my fingers through the ends of his waves.

There in bed, I was stripped bare of everything but Jasper, my world revolved around him, around us. It was a sanctuary of sorts, where secrets and blowjobs had been shared, where we told each other how scared we really were while we pretended for the rest of the world, where we openly shared our love without fear, where we were completely just us.

But there were things Jasper didn't know, most importantly about OSU, but smaller things as well. Once again, I debated on telling him about Riley, but before I could decide either way, he spoke up.

"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded, pleased the patterned of his fingers never altered when he spoke. It seemed to take great effort but he finally lifted his attention from my chest and to my face.

"Do you think Riley is gay?"

Given where we were and what we were doing, it seemed to be the most random question in the world, but I could see on his face it wasn't random for him, it was something he'd been considering. He knew by the way I instantly started gnawing on the inside of my cheek that I was hiding something and his eyes widened.

"He is." It was less of a question and more of a confirmation, but his expression still wondered. "How do you…he told you didn't he?"

Finally, I nodded. "Thursday. How did you know?"

His shoulder lifted slightly. "I didn't really, I just suspected." Then he grinned, "It's the hair I think." When I didn't smile back, he looked at me with concern. "What happened?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, "he was driving and I was asking him questions and asked if he had a girlfriend. He said no, so I asked why. I assumed it was lack of time, or…his paralysis, but he said it was neither. So I asked why, and as soon as he smiled, I knew."

"Was he upset?"

"No," I answered quickly, "not at all. Just the opposite, he had no problem admitting it. Like it was easy for him to just say the words, 'I'm gay'. Then he told me about coming out and his ex-boyfriend."

"Ex?"

"They broke up," I said quietly.

His fingers stopped and he swallowed. "Why did they break up?"

I knew why of course, or at least what Riley suspected as the reason, but saying it out loud to Jasper was harder than I expected it might be.

"Edward?"

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "Riley thinks his paralysis got to be too much for Jared. He said not everyone can deal with it forever."

There was no tenseness in Jasper's body, no exasperated exhale of breath in sympathy or understanding for Jared, just his palm flattening over my racing heart.

"Babe." He paused, waiting until I opened my eyes and looked at him. The lust in his eyes had long been replaced by devotion, and it emanated off him in a warmth, encasing us both in its bubble. "I'm not him," he whispered me firmly, but softly.

Reasonably, I knew he was right. He was Jasper, my Jasper, but that was right then…what about a year from then, or two, or five. Would he still be my Jasper then, or would he have grown weary of ramps, catheters, and no sex? And all of the other things that now defined my world.

His hand left my chest and cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking it gently. "All in forever, baby," he reminded me before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine, mumbling the phrase again before his tongue entered my mouth, sealing his words.

He lifted his head, his breaths heavy and hot on my face. The pad of his thumb ran under my eye over the dark circle there like he'd done the night before.

"Been a long day," he said.

Even if I'd wanted to hide how tired I was, I wouldn't have been able to. Instead, I just nodded and tilted my chin up, offering my lips for one more kiss. Jasper obliged, brushing his sweetly over mine before pulling away one last time. Already nestled in the crook of my arm, he laid his head on my shoulder, higher than usual to avoid my nipples. Resting his arm around my middle and a leg over mine, he held me tightly. I reached to the table, turning off the light and hitting play on iHome. Jasper snuggled into me as Paul began to sing about love. Jasper joined him, and I reached down to my side and curled my hand around his.

I don't know how quickly I fell asleep but I barely remember Jasper finishing the song. I did remember how safe and loved I felt as my eyes closed and Jasper enveloped me.

All in.

Forever.

"**~~**"

Just as my eyes opened to discover a weak sunlight filtering through the curtains, Jasper stirred next to me. At some point during the night, he'd shifted, his head now lower on my chest and his lips dangerously close to my nipple. His moist breath washed over my skin, leaving goose bumps in its wake when he inhaled. My blurry vision was filled with strands of silk in every golden color, intertwining into messy waves. The hand that had been on his back when I had fallen asleep had worked its way into his hair, tangling it around my fingers. Even if he had wanted to leave, he wasn't going to go anywhere without me knowing.

There was no doubt by the rise and fall of his shoulders he was at least partially awake. Jasper wasn't one for bouncing out of bed in the morning, he liked to wake slowly, greeting the day with grumbles and complaints before kissing me and smiling. It was several moments of staring at the back of his head before he stretched his long body out beside me. I swear something wet briefly brushed over my nipple as he rose his head and turned toward me. His eyes were half open, but the emotion he carried in them still showed brightly and I gave him a smile.

"Bedhead," he chuckled, pushing my hair off my forehead.

"You're not exactly one to talk."

He grinned and shook his head wildly, messing his hair up further. "Doesn't matter, I'm only going to work anyway."

"How long?"

Disappointment clouded his face as he sighed. "I told him I'd do a double shift today because I missed last week and yesterday, but I'm going to try to leave at three because I need to run."

Jasper was pushing himself, challenging just how much one person could take on, and it was wearing on him. It showed in everything he did, but no matter how much anyone argued with him, he would keep going. His stubborn nature wasn't going to listen to anyone.

"Call me later?" I asked, letting go of his hair.

"I'll call at lunch," he promised with a quick kiss.

Then he was pushing off me and getting off the bed. Unashamedly, I watched as he worked out the kinks in his torso by lifting his arms above his head and twisting side to side. The ropes of muscles that formed his body bunched and flexed with his movement and I licked my lips. Even barely awake with bedhead, Jasper was a feast for my eyes. Stopping, he absently lowered my sweatpants from his hips and bent over to grab his clothes from the day before. When I groaned, he wiggled his ass and laughed.

Once he was dressed, he checked to make sure he had his phone and wallet and then sat on the edge of my bed. Placing one hand on the other side of me, he allowed himself a few seconds of objectifying my chest before giving me a slight apologetic smile and leaning down to kiss me.

"Lunch?" he asked as he pulled away.

"Yeah." I nodded, hoping one day maybe I could bring him lunch at work like I used to.

He stood, and taking his keys from the table, opened the door and winked at me before sneaking out it. Looking at the clock, I saw it was barely six. Even though we'd gone to bed pretty early, Jasper had to be exhausted. Sighing, I closed my eyes and already missed him.

I wasn't surprised when I heard "Eye of the Tiger". Grabbing my phone off the table, I put it to my ear. "Hey," I greeted quietly. "You're not even out of the driveway."

"Actually, I am, but not by much. I thought you could keep me company on my way to work."

"No breakfast?"

"Just the bagel I stole from your kitchen on my way out," he mumbled.

"Should have grabbed two."

"I did," he admitted. "What are you doing today?"

"Sleep for a while, then deal with my parents."

"I don't think it will be bad, baby, your dad understands," he reasoned through a mouthful of bagel.

"I know, but what if my mom doesn't and he listens to her?"

"Babe, you know better. Your dad is reasonable, he can get her to be too. Don't worry," he assured me.

"You're right," I sighed, "maybe it won't be bad."

"Just… umm…"

"What?"

"Wear long sleeves."

At his warning, I looked at my arm. The bruise was still there, still large and discolored. "I will."

Jasper changed the subject, bitching about the sunny weather and random shit until I heard him shut off the truck and sigh.

"You're at work, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I should go. I'll call at lunch. Love you."

"Love you too," I promised before hanging up and looking at the time to see how long it was until lunch.

Setting the phone on my bed, I closed my eyes. Pushing all else from my mind, I concentrated on images of Jasper in the meadow, in his truck, in my bed, each one in greater detail than the last until sleep let me back in.

It was several hours later when I woke up, partially surprised I'd slept so long. I didn't like how things wore me out quicker and for longer periods of time. I wasn't used to feeling weak and tired. After checking the time, I moved to my chair and got a kit to do my morning routine. It still took me about an hour to complete it, but I was lucky my body cooperated with me. After months of doing the same thing, it was easier to make myself shit on command and I rarely had to use suppositories. It certainly wasn't the most pleasant way to go to the bathroom, but as I sat there with my pants around my ankles and my finger in my ass, I reminded myself it could be worse.

It could always be worse.

Once I was done, I cleaned up, brushed my teeth, and then searched the cabinet for some Epsom salt, but didn't find any. Instead, I wet a small towel in hot water and washed my nipples, hissing when I accidently tugged on one. When they were done, I examined my bruise in the mirror. It wrapped almost all the way around my arm. Even though I hadn't even felt it happen, I wasn't surprised it had. I'd been knocked over pretty hard and my arm was smashed to the floor by the weight of my body and the chair. I hoped it wasn't too warm out, I didn't need my father noticing I was in a sweatshirt all day. Returning to my room, I left my sweatpants on and dug one of Jasper's tee shirts out of the laundry. Pulling it on over my head, I inhaled his faint scent.

The Sunday before I'd been in the meadow with Jasper, and he'd asked me to marry him. I'd been engaged for a week. I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to the idea of being engaged, I think partly due to the fear that Jasper might retract his offer when he realized all that it meant.

Before I got too deep into doubt, I put Star Wars into the DVD player and then lifted my backpack and pulled out my books, splaying them across my bed as I studied, wrote, and answered questions as R2-D2 and C3PO argued on the best way to save Luke. Not only did I finish my homework, but I got ahead on a few assignments I knew were coming up. The work kept my mind off worrying about the impending talk I knew was coming from my parents.

When my phone rang on the table, I smiled before answering it. "Hey, love."

"Babe, I'm thinking of skipping lunch and driving to your place for a quickie." Jasper always went straight to the point when it involved getting off.

I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. "You were, huh? Not sure you have time for that, but…"

"But what?" he said, a bit breathlessly.

"There is the cab of the truck."

"Jesus, babe, don't tempt me," he groaned and I moaned in his ear. "Stop that. I can't work with a boner."

"You've done it before," I teased.

"And it was painful. I'm working with nail guns, babe. Can't be accidently nailing something…" He paused when my laughing interrupted him.

"No, we can't have that. Don't damage the goods."

He quieted and then asked, "Babe, do I hear Yoda?"

Glancing at the TV, I chided myself for not having turned it down when he called. "It's just an ad."

"Right," he chuckled. "You miss me and you're watching Star Wars."

"You caught me."

"I miss you too."

"Call me when you get home?"

"Always. Love you," he vowed before hanging up.

Setting the phone down on my bed, I finished the reading for physics and packed all the books into my bag. Pausing the movie, I put on a sweatshirt and went to the kitchen to find some lunch, settling on Fluffanutter sandwiches and a bag of chips. Balancing my food on my lap, I spun the chair around to find Alice in the doorway.

"What?"

"Nothing," she shrugged, getting a plate out of the cupboard. "Where's your partner in crime?"

"Work."

"Late night last night?" When I didn't reply, she pointed to my hair. "You have 'just fucked' hair. Might want to brush it before mom or dad see it."

Self-consciously, I ran my fingers through my hair. "It's just messy."

Her laughed told me she didn't believe me. "Right."

"Where's mom and dad?" I asked, curious it was lunchtime and I had yet to see them.

"They went out to brunch with the Martins. Said they would be home a little after lunch. Dad said he went to tell you but you were still sleeping. Why? Thinking of running off with Jasper?"

"Fuck off," I returned lightly as I rolled by her, returning to my room to eat lunch and watch the rest of Star Wars.

Bored more than ever after the movie ended, I went to the dining room to workout. Feeling comfortable enough with the door closed, I took off the sweatshirt and laid it on the bench before starting. As I lifted the weights, my eyes often drifted to the parallel bars. I was both eager and nervous to try them again. My body recalled the achiness that had followed for days afterward. But it had all been worth it, the pain and effort, just to look Jasper eye to eye. I found myself smiling at the memory as I finished the shoulder press reps. Not want to push my body further than necessary after the game the day before and PT the next, I stopped sooner than usual and once again returned to my room. I was just debating on taking a shower when there was a knock on my door.

"Yeah?"

Dressed as casual as he got in jeans and a polo shirt, my dad gave me a smile and stepped inside.

"Jasper left?" he asked, taking in the messy bed and sweatpants strewn on the floor.

"Yeah, he had to work."

When his eyes darted to my arm, I swore under my breath. My father left and Dr. Cullen took his place as he stepped closer and lifted my arm. With an expert touch, he pressed and inspected every inch of it.

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"It's a nasty contusion, but there doesn't appear to be any damage." Finally releasing it, he immediately stepped back into my father's shoes. "Don't let your mother see it," he suggested.

"She's not going to let me play again, huh?" I asked hesitantly, not sure I wanted to know the answer.

"I took care of her, don't worry," he said as he sat down on my unmade bed where Jasper and I had been together only a few hours before.

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth. That you need to play, that it's good for you even though there is a little risk. I know what happened yesterday won't be the last time, but you need to keep in mind that, while slim, there is a chance you could injure yourself further. It's unlikely because it's been almost six months, but you still need to be careful."

It was hard to believe I'd been stuck in a chair for six months. The passing of that time didn't mean much to most people but to me it was when I would find out if I would be in the chair for the rest of my life. It was when I would either have my hope renewed or crushed completely. I didn't know what to expect, what kind of tests they would put me through, what kind of results they needed to see in order to tell me all hope was not lost.

"What's going to happen?"

His brows furrowed and while I was pretty sure he knew what I meant, he asked me anyway. "What do you mean?"

"Do you think I'll get better?" I asked, searching his face for the answer to the question I knew he'd been dreading hearing since my accident.

"I've been a doctor a long time, I've seen some pretty tragic things, but I've also seen some miracles, and people beating impossible odds. There is always hope," he whispered.

"But is it possible?"

"Edward," he sighed with a slight shake of his head.

"Dad, I need to know if I'm going to be stuck in this thing forever. Could I walk again?"

As he considered my request and how to word his answer, his brows knitted tightly between his eyes. My father wasn't one to sugarcoat things, the doctor in him didn't allow him to be anything but practical. The only time I'd seen him upset was when he'd told me I was paralyzed. I studied his face for the same mixture of emotions I'd seen that night, but only found confusion.

Taking a breath, he spoke. "Medically speaking, it is not impossible, but it's…unlikely. However, we won't know until your sixth month checkup in a few weeks. You've still got a lot of PT in front of you, things could always get better, though probably not without braces and a walker."

"Possible?" He brought his eyes back to mine and nodded. "But not likely…." I supplied for him quietly.

"Edward, you can still live a full, independent life. Once you have the checkup and are cleared, you can begin using braces in PT…" he trailed off.

I was slightly shamed I hadn't told him about working with the braces.

"I've got something for you," he said suddenly, breaking the heavy silence.

"What?"

"Follow me," he said as he stood. He waited for me to put on my sneakers and then I followed him out the door and down the hallway. When he bypassed his desk and headed for the front door, I was surprised, but went outside and down the ramp to find him standing next to my mother's car.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I came to stop in front of him.

"We aren't going anywhere, but you can," he replied cryptically.

Stepping to the side, he opened the driver's door and motioned for me to look inside. Pushing around the door, I found my mother's car newly equipped with a handicapped driving aid. Similar to Riley's, it was connected to the gas and brake pedals and extended to just beside the steering wheel, easily assessable for my hand.

"I thought you might want to start getting around on your own again," my father suggested.

My heart halted and a lump formed in my throat, forcing me to suck in shallow breaths. Even in the cool air, I was sweaty and if I hadn't been gripping the handrims so hard, I would have felt my hands shaking. Swallowing, I bit my lip and tried to calm myself.

"What do you think?" he asked behind me.

"It's…it's great, Dad. Thanks," I forced out.

"I know your mother has the car a lot, but we thought this might work until you get a car of your own. I can show you how to use it?"

Fuck no.

"I already know. Riley showed me when he drove the other day," I half lied.

"Want to go for a drive?"

Backing the chair up, I looked up at him. "Not right now, maybe later."

He eyed me, but nodded and closed the door. "Okay, anytime."

Attempting to give him a smile, I nodded. "Thanks, Dad, it's really cool."

And it was. It was a thoughtful and expensive gesture, but…

He headed toward the porch steps. "Hey, Dad?" Turning, he raised a brow. "Do we have any Epsom salt?"

"I've some in my bathroom, everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just want to soak my feet." The lies were falling easily.

"I'll leave it in your bathroom," he said and then turned.

Instead of following him, I waited until he was inside before hanging my head and closing my eyes. Immediately I was plagued with flashes of light streaking through dark and specks of cold white. Clenching my eyes tighter, I willed them away until all that was left was me sitting breathless in a chair.

For life.

Forever.

I was nothing more than a scared cripple. My life had been reduced to all the things I couldn't do instead of those I still could. There was no future to look forward to. It might have been daylight out, but it darkened around me, the air became thicker and suffocating. Spinning the chair, I quickly pushed toward the ramp and went up it. At the front door, I shoved it open and entered, not even sure I closed it behind me before I was wheeling down the hall and entering my room.

It was already there.

Larger and darker than ever, it welcomed me, crooking its wispy black finger at me. It was useless to resist its strong pull. The whispered promises of comfort and solace lured me closer. With the darkness there would be no pain, no disappointment in my father's eyes or in Jasper's touch. There was no misery in not caring. Slowly, I rolled in its direction, easing myself nearer to the life it promised to give me. It loomed in the corner, snaking tendrils out toward the wheels of the chair to grip it firmly.

Only a few more feet to go until I would be in its clutches.

The music was faint, far away, but familiar. It continued to play, getting louder with each verse until it broke through the dark fog and registered in my mind.

Jasper.

It was Jasper.

He was unknowingly throwing me a lifeline, I only needed to be strong enough to grab it. Keeping my eyes on the growing black smoke, I reached onto my bed for my phone, absently pressing accept.

"I took a break to grab a water and call you. Didn't think you'd mind," he greeted with a chuckle.

His voice was confident, definite, real.

When I didn't reply, he asked, "Edward, you there?"

An uncontrolled choked sob escaped me in response.

"Shit, I'm on the way, babe. I'll be right there." His words were a small light in the darkness.

"Don't," I said weakly, not really sure who I was even talking to.

My lids drifted closed, focusing on the sounds I heard through the phone, muffled voices, one more desperate than the other. I should have tried to stop him, but I just listened…waited. A truck door closed, an engine started, a voice of concern returned.

"Are you home?"

Another sob.

"Jesus, babe, I'm coming, please hold on," he demanded. Jasper rarely got upset, and when he did, it was usually anger or frustration. His mother's calm DNA ran through him and in emergencies, Jasper was collected, until it was me who needed him. "I'm only about ten minutes away. Are you alone?"

No. The darkness was with me.

I shook my head and whimpered.

"Are you hurt?"

Yes. Very much.

"No," I managed to squeak out and he sighed in relief.

Jasper kept talking, reassuring me he was on his way, that he would be with me soon, telling me to hang on. His voice unknowingly competed with the force in my room, the one reminding me that Jasper was only temporary, he couldn't fix my broken self.

No one could.

Not even Jasper, no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm here, I'll be right in," he rushed out and the line went dead.

It seemed only seconds later my door was opening and strong arms were wrapping around my shoulders as he lowered himself to his knees in front of me. Without questioning what happened, he comforted me, pulling me toward him and resting my head on his shoulder. One of his hands found the hair at the nape of my neck while the other rubbed up and down my back. Soothing sounds were in my ear as he nuzzled his head against mine, leaving a kiss or two in my hair. It was me who pulled away first, lifting my head and kissing the corner of his mouth. He wouldn't let me go completely, his arms stayed around me, but he moved enough so I could see his face.

"You okay?"

I glanced over his shoulder to the corner, finding the darkness still hovering lowly, biding its time. Jasper couldn't watch over me forever and the blackness had nothing but time.

"Yeah," I sighed. He didn't buy it, I knew he wouldn't, but he loosened his hold and sat back on his calves. Moving his hands to my lap, he held both of mine in his.

"What happened?"

"My dad…he came in and we were talking—"

"About?"

"Being careful at basketball, my checkup in a few weeks, whether or not I'll get better." The fear I tried to hide quieting my voice.

Jasper exhaled, but squeezed my hands. He already knew. I hadn't even had the appointment yet and Jasper knew what the result would be.

"Anything else?"

Slowly, I nodded. "He got me controls for my mom's car."

"Controls?"

I sniffled, "Yeah, so I can drive it."

For a second, I thought he was going to smile, it teased him until he realized that was what had bothered me. "What happened?" he repeated.

"I don't know," I shook my head. "I just looked inside and saw the controls and panicked at the thought of driving again. I mean, I know I can't rely on you forever, but I can't…I can't drive yet."

"You don't have to," he murmured. "I'm here."

"But I want to, Jasper, I just can't." My mind jerked back and forth along with my words. One second I wanted to try, the next, I never wanted to get in a car again.

Cupping my cheek, he gave me the smile he'd held back. "Want to try it with me?"

Staring at him, I blinked. "What about your work?"

"Don't worry about it," he said casually. I should have asked if he was in trouble, if his father was upset, instead, I was just grateful he was there with me. "Do you want to try?"

Jasper was tall, broad, and emendated a strength I no longer possessed. A confidence I would never feel, but he shared it with me, letting it flow from him into my with each breath I took until I was nodding in agreement. I pushed around my bed and out the door with Jasper following closely. As I coasted down the ramp, I saw Jasper's truck parked crooked on the street. He hadn't even taken the time to park straight. The closer I got to my mother's car, the faster my heart pounded. Jasper reached it first, opening the driver's door. Stopping next to him, I looked inside the car and then up at him.

"I don't know how. I mean, I know how to get in, I just don't know how to get the chair in."

"I do. You get in and I'll show you."

"How do you know?"

"Youtube," he shrugged. He wasted no time in pulling out his phone and tapping on the screen. Before I could wonder what he was doing, he was kneeling next to me, holding the phone so I could see it.

"What is this?"

"Just watch," Jasper said.

There was a young guy, maybe in his twenties, in a wheelchair explaining how he moved from his chair to the car. In great detail, he showed how he placed his body and took the chair apart to get it in the car, as well as how he got back out again. We watched the video through one time and then Jasper paused it.

"Want to try?"

Taking a deep breath, I nodded. Jasper moved to stand by the back door as I positioned my chair parallel to the car, and after placing my feet on the ground, I used the steering wheel for leverage and slid my body to the driver's seat much like I did when I got into the passenger side.

At first I was relieved I'd done it, but when I saw the steering wheel in front of me, my heart raced faster. When I looked out the windshield, I saw darkness and headlights instead of daylight and my house. Tires screeched in my ears, crunching metal and my own screams echoed loudly through my head. Even with my eyes wide open and Jasper within arm's reach, it wasn't enough to alleviate my fears. The lightheadedness returned and I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins as everything slowed and I relived what I could recall from that night. Frozen, I screwed my eyes shut, the breath rushing from me when the impact happened. Only seconds early, I'd heard Jasper's sweet voice full of anticipation on the phone, then it was replaced by a horn, panicked cries, and shattering glass. Lost in the flashes, I hadn't noticed Jasper kneeling beside me, his hand on mine as he tried to unclench my fist.

"Babe, you're shaking," he whispered. "Are you okay?"

Was I shaking? I hadn't noticed. I wanted to answer him, but I couldn't, the words wouldn't form.

"Edward," he said more firmly, "are you okay?"

I think I shook my head, my lips moved but I wasn't sure if anything came out. The accident replayed in my head, the surprising cold as the airbag pressed me against my seat, the pain that radiated seemingly everywhere through my body, the warm stream of blood running down my face.

Then it was just black.

"Scared," I mouthed.

"Let's get you out," Jasper insisted, releasing my hand.

"No," I replied with more conviction.

Apparently my answer didn't matter, Jasper was already lifting me from the car. My arms instinctively went around his neck, but I was only vaguely aware that he never put me in the chair. Instead, he was moving and my head lolled against him as he carried me into the house. It wasn't until he was placing me on my bed that I attempted to open my eyes. Jasper was out of focus, blurry no matter how hard I squinted at him. He had me propped on my pillows as he sat beside me, one leg curled up under him.

"Fuck," he mumbled. His hands were in my hair, on my face as he tried to stop the violent shaking wracking my body. It wasn't until he wiped the dampness from my cheeks that I realized I was crying.

"I wanted to do it," I stuttered. I wanted to show Jasper I could do it, that he wasn't stuck with some cripple forever. "It's been six…months…why can't I do…it?"

"Ssshh, baby," he soothed. "Just breathe for me."

I was trying but it was difficult. My breaths were shallow, if at all, and short. Inside me, fear reigned and my stomach churned as I felt bile rise in my throat. Feeling dizzy, I closed my eyes again, hoping to stop the nausea before it hit me full force. Once again, I'd failed, I'd let Jasper and my father down. I should just stop trying, just let the darkness take me, do with me what it will.

It certainly couldn't hurt any more than I already did.

Soft lips pressed to mine in a light kiss, a silent pleading to stay with him, to not give up. I don't know how he knew, maybe he sensed we weren't alone, but somehow Jasper knew the battle that was being waged for my soul and that he was currently on the losing end. Jasper didn't like to lose, he would do whatever he had to ensure I didn't give up him, on us, and most importantly, on myself.

"I'm spending the night," he murmured as he pulled away and my eyes opened.

"You can't," I sighed, "it's a school night."

"Like I care about that."

"What about your homework?"

"Edward, right now nothing is more important than you. I'm staying," he said with determination.

When he stood, I saw him glance at the corner, scanning it quickly before he opened my door and promise to be right back. There was no way my parents would let him stay, not on a Sunday night. The dark smoke would come for me as soon as he was gone.

The snickering got louder, willing my eyes in its direction as it floated around the catheter kits, weaving around them to remind me of what my life had become. Just as my resolve began to crack, my door swung open and Jasper pushed my chair into the room. Leaving it by my bed, he toed off his sneakers and undid his jeans. Picking up the pair sweatpants he'd left on my floor earlier, he quickly changed and crawled over me onto my bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I told you," he said softly. He mirrored my position, propping himself up next to me with the pillows and then patted the space between his spread legs. "C'mere."

Instead of arguing he needed to go home, I clumsily moved closer until he was able to reach around me and pulled me to him, settling my back to his chest. Reaching down, I straightened my legs out and then watched as his legs closed against mine. My head lay on his shoulder, his chin against my temple while his hands took mine and he laced our fingers together on my abs. He smelled slightly of wood and sweat. In his arms, my shaking and tears eventually morphed to occasional shudders and sniffles.

"You don't have to drive, Edward. Not now, not ever," he whispered, the rough pad of his thumb constantly stroking the back of my hand.

"I want to," I countered weakly.

"Then maybe it's just too soon. Just give it some more time."

"It's been almost six months," I reminded him.

"So? Is there a time limit on recovery?" He nudged my head with his nose before sighing. "It won't win," he promised me, "I won't let it win. You're mine."

Nodding when he kissed my forehead, I thought I was his, I would always be his, but what scared me most was that didn't mean he would always be mine.

I had no idea what time it was or how long he'd been with me, I only recalled the songs, one effortlessly flowing into the other as he sang quietly into my ear. The darkness might have remained in my room, but in Jasper's arms surrounded by his warmth and scent, I felt safe, protected from all that might want to hurt me, including my own thoughts.

Sleep eventually came, my body heavy on his, but he never once let me go or even loosened his hold. Keeping his word, Jasper stayed with me, slaying demons he couldn't even see.

My superhero.

"**~~**"

Jasper was kneeling in front of my right leg while Emmett was crouched in front of my left one, now encased in Velcro straps, aluminum bars, and plastic molding. I had already finished some light lifting and now it was time for the hard stuff.

"This part here," Emmett explained to Jasper, "goes around his knee, the release is this ring here."

Emmett would have shown Jasper everything anyway, but because of Emmett's loss to me in basketball on Friday, he was going into great detail to Jasper about everything he was doing.

It had been an interesting day.

Before either of our alarms had gone off, I'd woken up to find myself securely wrapped in Jasper's embrace. I was still lying against him, his arms around my middle, his head turned the side as he snored. Blinking away sleep, I dared a glance to the corner, relieved to find it empty of everything but the kits. Not only had Jasper left work early and stayed with me all night, but he'd slept in the same position with my weight crushing him. He'd skipped his run and I'd skipped my nightly routine. Jasper would say it'd been worth it, that nothing was more important than helping me, being with me, but would there ever be a time when he didn't have to sacrifice something in his life for me.

Leaning to the side, I turned my head to see Jasper. Waves hung in front of his face, his lips were dry and parted and there was a flush to his face. He must have been hot with me pressed against him. Before the accident, I would have felt his morning erection pushing against my lower back, but I felt nothing but the rise and fall of his chest.

"Jas," I murmured. Other than a quiet moan, he didn't acknowledge me. "Love, we've got school."

His moan turned to an annoyed groan. "Don't wanna. Too comfortable."

"You must be sore," I sighed. I was used to sleeping in the same position all night, but Jasper was usually free to move at will, until my body weight held him in place.

"Nope," he mumbled sleepily as he slowly pried his eyes open. "I like having you on me." Leaning forward he kissed me quickly before pulling back and looking at the clock. "Fuck."

"Yeah, I know."

"We need to shower."

"Yeah."

My head was on his shoulder, tilting back so I could see him as he spoke. "You okay?"

Unable to resist, I glanced to the corner and then nodded. "I think so." After he kissed my forehead, I said, "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything," he denied.

He had no idea how incredible he was.

Instead of arguing with his stubborn self, I whispered, "I love you."

A bright smile lit up the room and he returned the words. After a long kiss, he eased me off him and climbed out of bed, getting my chair for me. I transferred over while Jasper rummaged through my drawers for clothes, excited when he found a pair of his jeans. Selecting one of my many Beatles tee shirts, he winked and left to go shower. I grabbed a kit and went to my bathroom to do the same.

I emptied my bladder and did my bowel routine before undressing and moving to the shower. I rushed but made sure to wash the piercings before getting out and drying off. Once I was done, I brushed my teeth and covered up with a towel before returning to my room. Jasper was already done, dressed and sitting on my bed waiting. On the bed next to him was a plate of eggs and toast.

"We skipped dinner last night, thought you might be hungry."

"Starving," I admitted. He helped me dry off and get dressed, then I inhaled the breakfast he'd made me before we left. Jasper drove to his house, ran in and fetched his backpack before we headed to school.

Even though I'd reassured him several times I was fine, with the exception of his WWII class, he never moved from my side all day. He walked closer than normal and watched me more than usual. His mood was light, he even smiled at lunch, but not for one second did his eyes leave me. When we went to gym, he changed and walked by my side to the baseball field.

"I'm skipping practice today," he informed me.

"What? Why? Jas, I'm fine."

He shook his head. "I want to be there for PT. Emmett's going to show me stuff."

I probably should have argued with him, made him stay, but honestly, I wanted him with me. I wanted him be there with me, for me. We suffered through gym together, Jasper changed back into his clothes and we left for my house. He insisted on quick snack and made us both sandwiches that we'd barely finished when Emmett arrived.

I hadn't planned on telling Emmett about the piercings but when he went to touch my chest, I winced in anticipation. Curious, he lifted my shirt before I could stop him.

"Is that the only place?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, but…" I glanced at Jasper, whose cheeks were pink from his blush.

"But what?"

Swallowing, I exchanged embarrassment for courage. "Could I get pierced there?"

"There, as in…?"

"Yeah."

"You okay talking about this in front of him?" he asked, motioning to Jasper.

"I would do it for him," I stressed.

"Okay then," Emmett cleared his throat. "Medically speaking, the risks you face are no more severe than any other man, infection being the main one, but as long as it's done with sterile equipment and environment and you keep it clean, infection is less likely."

"So, I can?"

He held up his hand. "Yes, but I wouldn't recommend it through the glans for two reasons. First is that it can result in scar tissue, which narrows the urethra. Second, a piercing through the urethra might make it more difficult to use a catheter."

"Oh." Internally I berated myself for not having through of something so basic to my everyday needs. A look of disappointment flashed through Jasper's eyes.

"But," Emmett continued, "you could get a frenulum piercing without it interfering with anything, and still, um, ya know, get, um, enjoyment from it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Suddenly excitement replaced the disappointment in Jasper's eyes as he imagined just what kind of enjoyment he would get.

"Like this?" Jasper asked, still kneeling in front of me, bringing me back to present. Jasper tightened the brace like Emmett had showed him, waiting for Emmett's approval before smiling. Emmett stood up and went to the CD player. Jasper rolled his eyes when the music started.

"Didn't realize bad music was part of the deal," he whispered to me with a wink.

"Okay, Whitlock," Emmett began, "same as last time. You get him from the front, I will support from behind-" He paused, his brows raising before saying, "I didn't mean that as kinky as it sounded. We'll do four steps this time, then rest for a few minutes. Any questions?"

"Do you want me kneeling or standing?"

"And somehow, Whitlock, you just make it sound even kinkier." Jasper rolled his eyes and waited as Emmett thought before answering, "Kneeling until I'm behind him, then standing."

"Got it." Jasper gave him a nod and ducked under the bars. On his knees in front of me, he gave me an encouraging smile. "Love you."

"Oh no, no, no mushy stuff," Emmett groaned and I let out a nervous laugh. "Ready, Edward?"

With a curt nod, I reached up and wrapped my fingers around the bars. After one last look at Jasper, I exhaled a breath and then grunted as I heaved myself upright using only my arms and upper body. As I had before, I swayed, but Jasper was there to catch me. His hands spanned my hips, using his weight to counteract mine. Emmett shoved the chair away and moved behind me, his arm hugging my waist. I'd barely been standing for a few seconds and I was already breathless. My arms strained with effort as I attempted to steady myself. Jasper looked up at Emmett over my shoulder, waiting for instructions.

"Okay, stand and guide him like you did last time," Emmett said as he placed his feet behind mine and gripped my hips with his large hands. "Same as before, Edward, I'm going to move your pelvis for you but what I want you to do is use your abs and tighten them as I swing, use them to move your hips with me."

Jasper quickly stood and rested one hand lightly on the middle of my chest while his other went to my shoulder. Emmett pushed my foot forward and I watched it slide along the floor a few inches.

"Okay, swing your hip," he directed.

Taking a deep breath, I focused all my strength to my core and tightened my muscles as he lifted my hip and swung it forward to be level with my foot. Readjusting my weight, I took another breath and saw my other foot move forward. Jasper was so close to me I could feel his hair brush my cheek when he moved. When I glanced at him, his head was lowered, his eyes trained on my feet. I don't think he was aware of how much he was smiling. Two more staggered steps and I slid my hands along the bars, my knuckles white from holding it tightly and my abs already burned.

"Time to head back to the chair," Emmett said after four steps.

"I want to do more," I complained through gritted teeth. Jasper kept his head down but glanced over my shoulder and nodded.

"Fine, two more, then time for a rest," Emmett conceded.

Jasper lifted his head and his eyes met mine. They were filled with a future he had planned for us, one of days and nights together, learning, laughing, loving, and walking. He had enough faith in me for the both of us and he shared it. In his future there was no darkness around me, only light and joy, joy he brought into my world. Jasper showed me all he knew to be true, all he knew to be possible, and with my promise to marry him, he would make it all reality no matter what it took.

A single tear sat on the corner of his eye as he smiled at me.

I was a mess in front of him, sweaty and trembling with effort, my face contorted in concentration, but he pushed my hair off my forehead and smiled.

"You will never meet anyone more proud of you than me," he whispered reverently.

And for the first time in a long time, I thought he was right.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

WN won Best Overall Slash in the Everything is Bigger in Texas contest. M&A won Best Classic. Thank you to everyone that nominated and voted! A list of all winners can be seen here http:/jaspersdarlins DOT blogspot DOTcom/2011/11/everythings-bigger-in-texas-winners DOT html?zx=60e1522eef336853

For those interested http:/www DOTyoutube DOTcom/watch?v=b7biVXVemdU Next time you're in a rush, appreciate how quickly you can get in and out of it.