Raph's point of view:
"Leo? Something wrong?" Mikey gave me a fearful glance, as Leo's angry, twisted face softened a bit in fake reassurance. Forcing the smile that never met his eyes, he shook his head.
"I'm sorry for yelling, Mike. Relax, you're not in trouble." I could hear the bitterly familiar undercurrent of anger in Leo's voice as he rose.
Mikey's tension dribbled out like air from a popped balloon. Giving me a glare and a shake of dismissal, Leo stepped aside, and gestured towards me. I heard his seething breath, rattling out between clenched teeth, the flicker of shadow as he let a long, steadying exhalation. Shutting his eyes, he put a palm to his forehead, and pinched his beak with a grimace. He always did that when he was pissed.
"Everything alright, Leo?" Mikey asked worriedly, as he looked down at me for an answer. I just snarled and rolled away from them both as much as I could.
"I need some air. Would you mind sitting with Raph for a bit?" Leo attempted and failed miserably to keep his words calm.
"Not at all, bro." Mikey was oddly quiet, as his lips curled up in the glorious attempt to slather on some cheer.
"Besides, it's been a while since Raph and I've spent some time together. He and I can catch up or something."
"Thank you."
I watched Leo clap a hand over Mikey's shoulder in gratitude, then stride out without looking back. Mikey stared at the door that Leo had slammed shut, and then at me, bewildered. Flopping to his knees, he scooted until we were only inches apart.
"Raph? Dude, what happened?"
I was still too pissed off and hurt to give any answer but a glare at the door. I heard Mikey's soft sigh of understanding, as he shrugged with a crooked grin.
"Leo means well, but he can get really, really annoying."
My eyes slid to his. Normally, Mikey would never wow me with his smarts, or his perception, but damned if he didn't seem borderline psychic at times when it came to reading his brothers.
Snarling, I gave the door my middle finger. Mikey tilted his head. "That bad, huh? What did he do?"
I glared at Mikey and shook my head. "Forget it, Mikey. I ain't gettin' into it twice in one day."
Mikey raised a placating palm, and breathed out. "Raph, it's okay. You don't have to explain anything to me."
He hitched his shoulders, accepting Leo's bull and my hissy fit with the same tolerance that he always given us. Thank God Mikey never held grudges.
Uneasily, Mikey eyed the door, and me, as his fingers worked into worried little knots.
"Do you want me to go after Leo?" I hated that damn uncertainty in his voice and the way he kept looking at the door as if he wanted to bolt.
"Do whatever the hell you want, Mikey. If I'm that much of an asshole, go ahead and leave. Ain't a damn thing I can do to stop you."
My words were so heavy with bitterness that I could barely choke them out. I shut my eyes and folded my arms and wished to hell that I could be anything but helpless and anywhere but this damn room with my pile of sheets and broken body and an even more broken family.
I lowered my face to stare at my knees, to hide both the tears and the terror that Mikey would really take me up on that, and leave me here. I felt as if my very bones were rooted to the floor. I don't know how long I sat there in those tortured moments, waiting for my baby brother to say the hell with me.
I wouldn't have blamed him, or Leo, or Don, if they had just wadded me up, with the sheets as my funeral shroud and this wooden room as my tomb, and left me here to die. It would have been so much easier for all of them if the fall had killed me, if the Foot had done their damn job and ended it on that roof top. At least, my brothers would be free of dealing with my crap, and could move on with their lives, and hopefully, I'd be at peace. Now, everything seemed to be bound up and strangled by how many inches I could move and a recovery that may never come. Hell, the worst wasn't over. It had only started.
I heard another brittle sigh, the scrape of shell against wall, as Mikey abruptly squatted down in front of me.
"You're right, Raph. There isn't a damn thing you can do to stop me." His sudden snarl was brittle and unexpected as the hard hands on my shoulders. I felt his fingers curl under my chin, and gently force my face towards his. We were only inches apart, as I felt his hands slip to my shoulders and come to rest. Looking into my eyes, Mikey tilted his head.
"You need to get this through your thick skull, matter how matter how pissed off you get, or how much you push me away, or how hard this becomes ,I'm not leaving you, Raph. Leo's not leaving you, Don's not leaving you, and April's not leaving you. Got it?"
His voice and intentions were set as concrete, and he looked as resolute as Leo.
I stared up at my little brother, wondering just when and how he had gotten to be so damn strong. He stood over me, as steady as a mountain, waiting for my answer.
"Yeah, Mikey…..I got it." I fumbled out the answer, as Mikey finally rocked back on his haunches with an understanding nod, and another bright smile.
"Great! Glad we got that cleared up!" Mr. Sunshine apparently had his cheer restored, and all was well in his world for the moment.
I squinted up at him. "It ain't over, Mikey."
Mikey gave me another accepting shrug as the smile withered. "True enough. But since when has it ever been over between you and Leo? Besides," he smirked, again, "Leo's not here, is he? And neither is Don. Which means that I'm in charge for a bit."
I scowled at that. "You ain't bossin' me around, little brother. Get that through your thick head already."
Mikey ignored my growling as he idly slid away from me. Suddenly snatching the nunchuck from his belt, he twirled it languidly, giving me another smile. Dangling the handle a few inches from my narrowed eyes, he whispered, "I bet you miss it….having your weapons…fighting. In fact, I bet everything inside of you is screaming for the chance to get up and kick some Foot ass."
The lilting tease in his voice was crueler than any of the times he accidently hurt me. It was like I was a puppy that had just pissed the floor and he was rubbing my face in it. Was he getting off on flaunting how helpless I was? Was he trying to piss me off?
Mikey must have saw the anger, because he wisely glided away, his quiet chuckle fragmenting in the heavy silence.
"In fact, Raph, I'm getting really tired of seeing you just lay around, dude. It's just not like you, at all. I hope this helps, bro."
Mikey raised an eye ridge, as he dropped back down at the edge of the pallet. I stared at the outstretched hand, the bright red material spilling from his fingers like blood from a wound. My mask.
Frayed, and stained with an even darker red, but still mine, and so very missed. I snatched it from his hand, and fumbled when I tried to force my good hand to tie the knot.
"Here. Let me help."
Mikey ignored my snarl and I felt gentle fingers work the mask into position, as he tied the ends into the knot at the base of my skull. The edge of red now filled the world, again and it felt so damn good. Mikey rocked back on his heels, with a small, satisfied smirk.
"Now you look like Raph again. One more thing, bro."
Mikey paused, as he turned to the small side table where my mask and my sais had been arranged into some sort of weird altar. I heard the small clang and metal sliding against metal as Mikey awkwardly plucked them up, and just stared at them, as they dangled from his wrists.
Giving me another smirk, he twirled them in his fingers, and I scowled when one of them clattered to the floor.
He flew to the floor, and scooped it up, babbling out the apology, and waving his hands.
"Sorry!"
I gave him a look that could scour paint, and held out both of my shaking hands.
"Damn it, Mikey, give them to me before you break 'em."
Mikey's lips curled into a pout. "Come on, dude, they're metal. You can't break them by dropping them."
He breathed out, and very carefully shoved the pommels into the grip of my shaking fingers. I felt the familiarity of heaviness, of worn leather, of the two blades that were as much a part of me as my flesh. My fingers coiled around them, as I cradled them close, relishing the glittering points, the promise of kicking Foot ass, of getting out of these sheets, of becoming me again. God, I had missed them.
Mikey's eyes flickered from the dull gleam that slid over the edge of the blades to mine. He suddenly snatched up a dishrag that had been tossed in with the used pile of sheets that April would be taking downstairs to wash in the morning.
Stroking his chin, he hummed, and tacked it up on the far wall. I watched as he picked up one of Don's pens, scribbled on his palm to get the ink going, and then he drew a big circle on the rag. Giving me another smirk, he bowed with a flourish.
"Here, Raph. Target practice. Pretend it's Shredder's head."
I snarled at that, hitched myself up as many inches as I could, pivoted the sai in my good hand, and flung it.
Mikey watched, wide-eyed as the sai cart-wheeled through the air, into one spinning arc of light before landing hilt-deep in the center of the target. There was the dull vibration as the sai trembled from the force of my throw.
My bad hand-busted, and mottled with bruises, ached as I forced my fingers open and adjusted the grip. Hell, my fingers were twitching so much from the spasm that the blade landed with a muted thud into the blankets.
I ignored the disappointment that washed Mikey's glee away into one sad, pained trickle as he hitched his shoulders. Gritting my teeth, anger, and anguish and hatred seething through my coiled are muscles, I grabbed the damn sai, heaved it high, ignoring the pain shooting through my arm.
I threw it. The throw itself was screwed up, since my arm was too injured to work that great, but the sai soared high, and struck the handle of its sister like a gong. The blade nicked a neat little slit through the cloth before it crashed to the floor like a swatted wasp.
Mikey eyed me with disbelief before dissolving into a bright, happy giggle. I tried not to wince as he flopped down to his knees, enthusiasm burbling over, as he breathed out and nearly squealed from that weird, happy streak of his.
"Welcome back, Raph. " He gave me a knowing smirk, and a wink.
