Chapter 4
Finalmente
(Finally)
"I thought, given time..." He faltered, then forced out, "given more time for you to consider your other options—"
"Other options?" she interrupted. "What, exactly, are my other options?" Her tone had hardened, not with coldness, but with incredulousness.
He scoffed at her. He couldn't help it. Was she intentionally playing dumb? Did she want him to admit all the other choices, better choices, she had available to her that did not involve him?
He must've paused for too long because then she said, "I don't have other options—not ones that are realistic. I could've spent more time traveling, meeting other wizards and witches, but I feel a year abroad was ample time for me to see what else the world had to offer. I could work at the Ministry, but I don't feel like that's where I belong right now. I could go out and meet other wizards, perhaps get in touch with some of my old classmates. But that's not really who I am. And why go out and search for someone when I've already found someone?"
His heart leapt into his throat and her gorgeous eyes, unwavering, held onto his.
"But wasn't that what you were doing, when you traveled? Searching?" He felt himself ask, though his mouth suddenly felt dry.
She gave him a small smile, still maintaining eye contact. "I was searching for my parents. And then for some time to decide what I wanted to do…and I must admit, I was hoping to find some peace of mind."
"I know you found your parents...but did you find peace?"
-HG-
Hermione gave him a sad smile and said, "No. As long as I was away from you, my heart nor mind could be at peace."
His eyebrows knitted together in frustration. She couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. She did want to see that look on his face.
"You are a fool," he sighed.
She felt on the verge of tears. Why was he saying that? Was it true that her love for him had always been one sided? Was that why he had told her enough was enough just before she graduated? Her lust and romantic feelings, the way she longed for him to hold her and kiss her and…more…was completely one sided? To his eyes, was she truly too young, too annoying, too immature, no matter how hard she tried to convince him otherwise? Then why had he written that letter to her? Though, he had never sent it… Then why had he kissed her back so passionately only three nights ago?
"You are a fool," he said again, but squeezed her arm gently as he said it. His voice didn't sound as rough, but instead had a husky quality to it. She looked at him and registered that he was giving her an unfamiliar expression. It reminded her of the expression he had held in the piano room, when she had needed to pull him back to reality… but it was also clearly different. It was pained, yet also concerned and… was that… amazement?
Then he was bringing his hand up to the side of her face, cupping her cheek and chin in his warm palm. Her face tingled where he touched her. "Maybe you aren't as smart as everyone believes you to be," he said, smirking, his eyes twinkling.
She opened her mouth to throw a retort at him, but then his finger was gently tracing her lower lip and his eyes were boring into hers, as if he was trying to read her mind. Was he?
"I only pushed you away because you were my student. And because I was… unprepared. And because I believed you didn't know what you wanted."
"That doesn't make it any better. That just shows you didn't trust my judgement."
"I never said it made anything better. But it's the truth. I didn't push you away because I didn't feel the same way about you. I pushed you away because… I didn't want either of us to get hurt."
He was still tracing her lower lip with his thumb. If her lips had been aching for him before, it was nothing compared to how they felt currently.
"But I ended up hurt anyway," she sighed sadly. Still, she did not break eye contact with him.
"I know my turning you away hurt you, but I was sure that once you left, once you obtained a sense of what was out in the world for you, ready and waiting for you to grasp it, you would no longer be hurt by my rejection. You would forget about me. You would move on. You would find something better, much better."
She felt the strong, brazen defiance rise up inside of her as she blurted out, "I don't want something better. I want you." And though she said those words with confidence, she looked down in fear that he would reject her… again. For another reason. Or the same—believing he knew better.
His thumb and forefinger gently lifted her head so that she was looking straight into his eyes. Their noses were an inch apart, and she could smell that familiar scent of him; metal, parchment, ink, and a spicy-sweet smell she still couldn't place—she'd have to ask him about it some time. Continuing to breathe him in, her eyes fluttered shut and she fell into his scent and touch.
Just as she was about to close the space between them, a loud noise came from the astronomy tower. Hermione jumped and they both drew their wands instinctively. Severus narrowed his eyes, letting out a frustrated sigh through his nose.
"If any students, including those from my own House, are truly having a picnic up there, I'm going to strangle every. Sing. One. Of them," he ground out.
Hermione couldn't help but smile at his annoyance, but she too was annoyed. That sound, whatever had caused it, was also the reason she was not snogging him senseless right then. "They may wish you had strangled them after we have them spend detention with Filch."
He turned to her, eyebrows raised in curiosity and amusement. "Is that so? What detention do you have planned for them, oh-so-forgiving Gryffindor?"
Hermione's lips curled into a grin. "Earlier today, two Gryffindors, siblings, got into a pretty bad row outside Greenhouse three. The brother cast the Slug-Vomiting Charm. The sister was able to hit him at the same time with the Leeks jinx. Both brother and sister are still in the Hospital Wing. However, knowing that some of the Hufflepuffs might try to stay out after hours, I asked Pomona if she would leave the mess of leeks and slugs instead of vanishing them, and I asked Filch not to clean it as I was saving it for a potential punishment."
Severus smirked, but also looked impressed. "How very Slytherin of you."
"I guess someone has been rubbing off on me," she replied, giving him a wink. She was pleased to see a slight flush begin at the base of his neck in response to her words.
"Shall we, then?" he asked her, indicating to the astronomy tower where another loud noise had just sounded.
"Lead the way, Professor Snape."
Hermione couldn't stop smiling.
The following day she was pleased to realize that Severus had become less tense around her during their meal times together. She didn't make a move to touch him again, and he didn't make a move to touch her, but she felt happier than she had since the first day of the term.
After dinner, since Hermione didn't have patrol duty, she began grading the first assignments for her classes. Hours passed quickly and soon it was nearing midnight. Stretching and yawning, she put aside her work and looked around her office. Just as she stood to walk to her sitting room a loud knock sounded at her office door.
Stifling another yawn, she opened her door in time to see Severus standing outside her office, wearing nothing but his black loafers, black slacks, and white button-down shirt.
She felt her heart skip a beat at his gorgeousness but managed to speak. "Is there something I can do for you, Severus?"
"There are many things you could do for me, Hermione."
Her heart gave a shudder at the unexpected sound of her first name. Before she could open her mouth to reply, however, he had rushed her.
Pushing her against the wall, he attacked her mouth and body all at once. Forcibly parting her lips open to receive him and pressing his body as close to her as possible, her head spun with the sudden lack of oxygen and the sudden surge of ecstasy. This kiss was much different than the one they had shared previously. This one, she knew, came from desperate, unyielding desire. She felt him flick his wrist and heard the door slam and lock with a loud click. The sound made her body tremble, knowing that they were locked in the low light together, completely alone.
He was still kissing her deeply, but now his hands had begun to rove her body, and she felt her own limbs react almost instinctively, traveling up to gently tug on his hair. She reveled in the feeling of his tresses like black satin. One of his large hands drove itself deep into her curly locks while the other wrapped around her waist and gently, but powerfully, pulled her away from the wall.
Pulling his lips back and allowing them both to breathe, she heard his voice growl, "You have… no idea… how long I've wanted this."
"Not as long as I have," she retorted, breathlessly. Her lips were aching for him to kiss her again. And something else, something wet between her legs, was beginning to ache for him as well.
He let out a loud moan from somewhere deep inside him, a response to her admission and her body. He removed his hand from her hair and brought it down to join his other at her waist. Lifting her as if she weighed that of a feather, he began to carry her over to the door that lead to her sitting room. She wrapped her legs tightly around him and her heart pounded like an avalanche in her chest as they began to kiss again.
Merlin's pants… I'm snogging Severus Snape. How...?
But her inner dialogue was cut off abruptly as they crossed through her sitting room and she heard what was unmistakably the sound of her bedroom door being kicked open. Morgana, he was strong. She never would've guessed... never knew...
He drew his lips from hers again and brought them to her left ear. "I think we'd be more comfortable in here, don't you think?"
Although her mouth wasn't dry by any means, her reply caught in her throat and instead a small whine came out. He brought his head back so that she could see the smirk he displayed, and his dark eyes were glimmering mischievously. In that moment, he was sexy and alluringly breathtaking all at once.
"I'm surprised at you." He spoke softly, tenderly, but still with a drip of goading. "Usually I can't get you to shut up."
In response, she threw herself at his neck, taking the spot just above his clavicle gently in her teeth and biting down, harder than a nibble, but not hard enough to draw blood. The effect was immediate.
Severus let out a deep groan that seemed to radiate through his entire body. His grip on her backside tightened as his fingers dug into her flesh with an untamed, primal need.
She let go of his skin and lightly drew her tongue over the area where she left teeth marks, then gently began sucking. His groan turned into a soft moan and suddenly they were collapsing together onto her king-sized bed. Her lips let go of their victim as he pressed into her, completely covering her. She could feel the throbbing thickness of his member, warm and ready to rip out of his black slacks. She felt as if she had never wanted anyone so badly in her entire life.
"Severus..." she heard herself moan as her hand traveled down to where he was warmest.
But his smile was full of mischief and mirth as he gently stopped her hand from reaching its destination. "Not yet, my love," he rumbled from deep in the back of his throat. She whined with her desire, not understanding why he was prolonging the inevitable until she felt one of his hands slowly pulling up her blouse. His hand, calloused from the many years of brewing, still felt warm and tender as it caressed her smooth skin over to her left breast. She silently thanked herself for the decision to take off her bra during her grading-papers routine.
He dragged his finger over her nipple, lingering long enough to gently squeeze and tug and lightly flick until it was a hard, pink nub between his fingers. He yanked up the red fabric of her blouse higher still and brought his tongue to her nipple, tenderly sucking and causing her body to jerk with pleasure. He brought his other hand to her right breast and began to massage her other nipple as he continued to lick and suck.
She felt as if her entire body was being awakened for the first time, and her crotch was swollen and surely throbbing with anticipation.
"Severus, please..." she begged.
His hot breath swam over her breast and traveled to her right. It seemed as if he wanted her to be balanced, equally pleased on both sides. With an expertise she hadn't known he possessed, he sucked her right nipple and then dragged his tongue down her cleavage, down her stomach, resting at the top of her dark blue jeans.
She didn't know why she had thought he would've been rough with her sexually. Instead, he was powerful but gentle, precise and tender, extremely sensual, and she found herself pleasantly surprised. She would've loved the roughness from her fantasies, but the reality of his tenderness was amazingly arousing, and there was no way she was going to ask him to do this any differently. It just felt too good.
He began to unbutton her pants, even though he could've used magic, and soon he had them pulled off and flung onto the floor. He rubbed his nose along her right inner thigh, then her left, and she shivered in pleasure at the warm air that tickled her between her legs. He chuckled as he felt her legs twitch and she heard him take in a deep breath.
"You smell wonderful…" he sighed, his silky voice sending more trembles through her body. "I would love to taste you," he added.
It wasn't that she didn't want to feel his lips on her most sensitive, private part, but she really just wanted to feel him inside of her. She had never had another man inside her, and she wanted to experience her first time with him as soon as possible. She had fantasized about the moment he would slide inside her for over a year and now she didn't want to wait any longer. She had no expectations except one, and that was to have him in her.
"Severus," she whispered, "I do want that, but what I want more right now, what I truly ache for, is to feel you inside me." She couldn't believe she was saying those words out loud, but how else was he to know? She couldn't believe that he'd be intruding her mind now, not when he had felt guilty for doing so without her consent before.
"Are you certain, Hermione?" he asked, bringing his face back up to hers and hovering over her, their mouths apart only by an inch.
She stared into his eyes, those gorgeous eyes that reminded her of the black lake during autumn and the beautiful hematite gemstone. "Without a doubt. I've desired you for so long, Severus. I've waited…"
He brought their lips together in another kiss and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Then let us not wait any longer," he murmured into her lips.
She let out a small gasp and her eyes shot open when she realized his shirt had disappeared. She examined him, and her heart hitched up another notch when she saw he was now completely nude. His upper arms and shoulders and some of his neck was scarred, as she knew they'd be, but the rest of him was covered in taut muscle and light creamy skin. His member was larger than she had imagined, and longer too, but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme, which suited her fine. She was on the smaller side herself and didn't want to feel scared or feel too sore in the morning.
"I think you're still wearing too much," he informed her, his eyes twinkling. "Would you like me to take care of that for you?"
Unable to speak, Hermione just nodded and smiled, never looking away from his eyes. He snapped his fingers and the rest of her clothes disappeared. She was now completely bared to him as he was to her. She blushed, but the look in his eyes as he looked her over removed all nervousness from her mind. He was staring at her as if he had never wanted anything more in his life.
He let out a small moan and lowered himself to kiss the area wear her lower curls stopped. She was neatly trimmed, but not divested of hair. She felt more mature with it there, and luckily it seemed that her lover did not mind it at all. He trailed the point of his nose back and forth over the same area, planted another kiss there, then brought his lips back to hers. He lowered himself over her and she felt his own warmth come between her legs.
"I'm ready for you, Severus," she breathed.
"We'll see about that," he said back, cheekily.
She huffed with mock indignation, but soon she was letting out another moan as his deft fingers found her wetness and gently probed her, sinking in one finger, pulling out, and then slipping in two. His fingers felt heavenly. She expected the girth of his member would feel even better.
"I take it all back," he sighed, planting a kiss on the tip of her nose. "You are very, very ready." She watched in both embarrassment and awe as he slid both his fingers out of her and placed them into his mouth, twirling his tongue around them and sucking off her juices. Then he retrieved them and wrapped his slick fingers around himself, keeping eye contact with her the entire time. "Just tell me when, my beautiful," he whispered.
"Now, please," she whined, feeling as if to wait a second longer would be torture.
"I am yours to command," he whispered back, eyes flashing, and then he was pushing himself into her slowly, but confidently. He let out a loud groan as his head submerged and she felt herself wriggle beneath him, seeking more of him. He slid in another few inches and it was her turn to groan, which turned into a whimper as he pressed through her barrier. It was slightly painful, but as soon as he was fully nestled inside of her the pain vanished, replaced with a fullness she had never before experienced.
"Hermione, was that…?"
She looked up at him in time to see his face holding an expression of worry. It was so different than his usual expressions that for a moment she felt like giggling, but instinctively knew now was not the time. He was worried for her, about her, and she realized he must not have known she was still a virgin.
She brought her hand to cup the side of his face and she smoothed her thumb over his check tenderly. "I am sorry… I assumed… I thought you knew… but I am fine, Severus. More than fine, in fact. I've been fantasizing about this for so long, and now it's happened, and I couldn't feel happier. Please, do not be worried or angry. This is what I want. You are what I want," she assured him.
He stared at her for a few seconds, but then sighed and said, "You are a Gryffindor minx, you know that?" and again his mouth was descending on hers, but now it was accompanied by a jolt to her core as he moved inside her.
He went slowly, easily, until she could feel him shudder and see a sheet of shining sweat on his forehead. "I would like…" he growled out.
"Do whatever you need, please, it all feels wonderful," she whispered.
Without hesitating, he began pumping harder, faster, and the way he was hitting along her most sensitive spot was causing her face to tingle with ecstasy. She dug her finger nails into the sides of his shoulders, silently praying she wouldn't hurt him and that the amazing feeling building inside her would never end.
She felt his shudders become stronger and then he was pushing inside her, so deeply, and she could feel his juices pumping into her. She was filled with an unimaginable warmth and felt herself exploded less than a second after him, her brain feeling as is she had just been Imperiused, but her body feeling as if every atom of her being was humming, singing with joy. She shook, she trembled, she spasmed, all while he was coming down from his own high, but still pushing himself deep inside her.
"Breathe, Hermione," he whispered and kissed her left temple.
She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and then sucked in the warm air that floated between them. They were both glistening with sweat and shaking. He was still seated inside her, but the pressure had lessened. Her hands still clutched to his shoulders, but her grip had loosened. While the feeling of pleasure was fading, she felt the happiest she had felt in a long time.
Her face shining, her eyes gleaming, she forced herself to bring her head up and kiss him. He kissed her back and then rolled over to lie next to her. In one, fluid motion he was sliding an arm under her and pulling her flush against him.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice low and tender.
"Like I've stepped into one of the best dreams I could have ever dreamed," she sighed back, completely content.
He let out a small chuckle, but asked, "You are still positive this is what you want? You are not—"
She cut him off by turning into him and placing a finger to his lips. "I want you, Severus. This has never felt so right." She paused, her his searching his intently. "I only hope that this is truly what you want, too… that I am what you want…" she retracted her finger and rested her hand on his chest.
-SS-
She hoped that he wanted her? Had he not made his desire for her as plain as could be? He had never wanted any other witch as badly as he wanted her. And he did not just want her in the way they had just shared, but in every way, always. But was he ready to tell her that? Was she ready to hear it?
He kissed her forehead and whispered, "There is nothing to hope for. You have me, and as I said earlier, I am yours to command."
She pulled back from him, her expression serious. "I don't want to command you, Severus. I want to love you. They are very, very different."
He gazed into her smoky topaz eyes for a few seconds and then replied, "And I want you, Hermione. I have never wanted anyone as much as I've wanted you."
With that, she smiled her brightest smile, nestled her head under his chin, and soon they had both fallen into a peaceful, dreamless sleep…
p
A/N: Aaaaanndd... FINALLY! Right? Am I right?! I had sooo much fun writing this chapter! Okay, so, as I promised, I delivered this chapter much, much sooner than the previous three. However, I'm going to ask you all to bear with me here because I have a lot of personal stuff going on and will be very busy, so it'll probably be another 5-7 days before I can get chap 5 up... but I hope this appeases you until then! Once again, thank you thank you thank you for your comments and support!
