A/N: Been a while. So busy with things. Renovating half my house it feels like. Good news I've learned how to plumbing!
This chapter is a turning point and marks the next steps in the fight. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Florida. The land of gators, Disney World, and the center of the sun which makes it so damn hot I have no energy to go steal the Rights to Zootopia! Screw your 100 degrees and 95% humidity! I got a swamp of my own brewing down there as soon as I move!
And now for a joke.
GUEST: I just want to take my grandson to Disney World. I don't want to go to Epcot or anything. Just Disney World.
CM: Well, Disney World is the name of the whole resort. I believe the park you're thinking of is the Magic Kingdom.
GUEST: No, I don't want to go to the Magic Kingdom. I just want to go to Disney World.
CM: You mean the park with the castle, right?
GUEST: Yeah, Disney World
CM: Yes, ma'am, that's the...yes, that's Disney World. We sell four-day hoppers, five-day hoppers...
Bahahahaha!
Chapter 28 - Desperate times
Several days had passed since Nick had found himself crossing the Precinct's threshold, once more clad in the blue uniform that represented the change he had made in his life. His fresh start after nearly twenty years of skirting the gray line of the law. It made him feel special, like he belonged to a brotherhood. A family.
So why does it feel so suffocating?
Pulling at the collar, Nick watched his reflection in the locker room mirror grimace. He had already loosened the tie to where it would fall off should he need to bend over. The top two buttons were undone showing the cream-colored fur that ran beneath his muzzle down his chest. Still he felt as if a noose was tightening around his neck.
C'mon, Wilde. You can do this.
Yet there he stood, unable to tear himself away from the mirror. The milky white of his blinded eye seemed to stare back at him mockingly. Torn skin that had been pieced back together marred his appearance, the lines varying from wide burns to thin scarring. It almost felt as if his own body was taunting him. The longer he kept staring, the tenser he could feel his muscles becoming. A guttural growl slipped through his now bared teeth.
Weak. Pathetic. That's all they see now.
For days he had been subjected to the pitying looks from his fellow officers. Even those he had thought himself close with seemed unable to stomach the appearance of the fox. He didn't expect to find much common ground with them after the incident, tragedy often changing someone in ways they could not comprehend before. But he had imagined it would not be quite so different. He was still one of them after all.
But with each day he became more unsure that the others agreed with that sentiment. He was avoided by most and those that he did interact with treated him as if he were made of glass. Clawhauser would brim with excitement each day Nick would arrive, but his customary celebratory hugs had vanished for the fox, afraid that his over-exuberance could end up hurting the smaller mammal.
Hurt me. What more could 'hurt' me at this point? I'm already BROKEN!
It had happened before he had even realized his arm had moved. His vision had filled with a blinding red fog, anger coursing through him that all too quickly became rage. And now his fist was pressed into what was left of the mirror, shattered glass still falling around his arm to land and occasionally bounce on the sink below.
Nick could only stare. It had been many years since he had lost control of his temper but it felt just as exhausting as the last time. Pulling back his fist, he examined it gingerly in case he had broken any fingers and combed through the fur looking for any loose shards of glass. His knuckles were now a bit tender but he seemed to have escaped any lasting damage much to his relief. Unfortunately, any hope of being able to claim ignorance of the situation vanished when another mammal cautiously strode up behind him.
"Wow Nick. What did the mirror do to you?" The fox sighed but was thankful it was one of the few mammals on the force who didn't judge him and kept his pitying looks, if he had any, to himself when Nick wasn't around. That was just the kind of friend Ralph Wolford was.
"Owed me money," was his only gruff reply. He didn't mind Ralph being there but he was too embarrassed by his own behavior to want to discuss it any further.
"Damn. Umm," the timber wolf dug into his pocket and rummaged around for a few seconds before pulling out a ten dollar bill and slapping it on the counter. "I'll pay off the urinal's debt cause I gotta take a leak."
That got a snort out of Nick, one of the first signs of humor anyone at the precinct had seen from him since his return and Wolford was pleased he had been able to do it. He gave his friend a quick wink in what was left of the mirror and headed to take care of his business just beyond the sinks.
Unwilling to just leave the mess as it was now that someone had seen it, Nick carefully began picking up the larger shards and tossing them into the waste can nearby. It took him a couple of minutes to get all of the ones his size out of the way and once the pieces became too small he stepped back. Safety regulations required that smaller mammals pick up the rest of the debris. He would need to file a notice for the small mammal cleaning crew to take care of the glass. The incident would get out unfortunately but he figured no one would bring it up to him. They'd add it to the list of reasons they pitied him and call it a day.
Feeling a bit of his anger returning he turned back to wash his paws in a different sink. The sad fact of the matter was that he understood their pity and that's what truly hurt. They couldn't see him as the mammal he was before. That honor lay only with the few close friends he had and his beautiful bunny.
The thought of Judy, her gray fur and striking eyes that would stare deep into his without fear or sadness, helped calm him and kept his anger from becoming rage once again. He put his head down and stared into the sink while he finished rinsing the soap from his paws. He didn't need the constant reminder of what he looked like staring him in the face all the time.
"You know," the lupine's voice came from behind him causing him to jump slightly in surprise, "if you're feeling up to it, we could use some help on the case." He knew it looked odd in the way his only ear perked up, but the sincerity in his friend's voice caused a surge of contentment through Nick right then. Spinning around and turning his gaze high he met the wolf's grin with one of his own.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."
"No."
Judy watched angrily as Nick's ear flattened back along his head. The two of them had been invited into the detective's office to 'pool their resources' as it were into finding some sort of avenue into solving the case. However while Wolford had been willing to listen, Delgato had been all too rigid.
"Oh c'mon, D. He's got a point." Ralph tried to back up his smaller canine co-worker not wanting to give the fox any reason to lose his temper, especially after witnessing the incident in
the locker room. "We've hit a dead-end more than once on this case going through regular channels."
"I said no! Bogo put me in charge of this investigation and we are not going to start shaking down civilians." The lion's mane swayed side-to-side with each shake of the mammal's head. Delgato had always taken great pride in his appearance but with the case causing him so much stress the locks had become tangled and matts had appeared in places.
"I'm not talking about hitting the street and dragging some guy out for a jog into an interrogation room," Nick's voice had a small growl of frustration in it but that was normal for some predators to exhibit and was not taken as an offense to either the wolf or lion. "I have some contacts from my old days. They have their paws in most everything. Let me go out and press em."
"We've tried all of our informants, Wilde." Delgato rubbed his massive paw against his temple at having to explain himself to the fox once again. "Nobody has any credible info."
"I'm not talking about informants, dammit! I'm talking the ones on the low. The ones on the high. Those mammals that have so much against them that talking to a badge is as good as being sent to jail, and the ones rich enough to never be bothered by the cops in the first place." Aggravated by his suggestions being tossed aside Nick began pacing about the room. "This is too big and too convoluted to escape notice by everyone. I know if I put the squeeze on a few I can get the info we need."
Judy stood by her partner, her arms crossed while leveling a hard stare at the lion. She would never have been comfortable with following Nick's recommendation in the past but times had changed. Not only was the city in practical chaos with each livestream that took over the airways, but she had begun to lose faith in the ZPD. Something she never thought would happen.
Wolford also seemed rather supportive which was a shock to his partner but not to the bunny cop. Ralph and Nick had been close over his time at the precinct and after he had been found had been extremely protective of the smaller mammal, despite Nick being a couple years older than the lupine.
"No. I'm not going to jeopardize this case over some crackpot idea from a tv crime show. This isn't an action flick where you talk to just the right mammal and the whole thing opens up in time for the bad guy to get foiled. We do it my way. You want it any different then you go talk to Bogo and get him to sign off on it." Delgato leveled a glare at the tod. "And you snarl at me again, Wilde and I'll put you in a cell myself."
Nick looked abashed as he realized that his upper lip had curled, flashing his fangs for all to see. The unmistakeable growl in his throat ended immediately. Way to go, moron. That's how you get them to agree to your idea. Get all pissed and growl at a senior officer. Well done.
Upset with himself and the dismissal of his plan, Nick left the office and started down the hall back to his own cubicle that he shared with his partner. He felt an overwhelming urge to destroy something or shove over the mail cart he was passing or kick a waste basket in front of him for the next forty or so feet. It was a miracle how he kept his emotions in check all the way to his office.
Looking around at the gathered knick knacks he and Judy had acquired over the year, mementos from various cases they had worked together, he felt himself easing up on his anger and gaining back his emotional control. He had never been one with a short fuse. But ever since the incident he found himself switching emotions quite frequently and escalating them. Especially his anger. His office, their office, helped to bring him back to a time before the incident. One where he felt content and appreciated. Not anxious and pitied.
Absent-minded he reached up to run his claws along the fur of his head. It was a tic he had developed back in his hustling days to calm his mind. The scratch though never came. Instead it was only the rough ends of his digits where the skin had begun to scar over where his claws had been. I need to get those taken care of.
His head found the cool surface of his desk which felt all too soothing. For a moment he wished he could just close his eyes and let sleep take him over. The day had already taken it's toll on him and he knew it wasn't over. It was a blessing when he felt the dull claws scratching through his ruff. The weren't quite able to reach the skin beneath the fur in the way he used to do himself, but it was a touch that as patient and loving.
Rolling his head to the side in order to let his good eye roam over the figure next to him, he gave the bunny a small smile. "Sorry, Fluff. I didn't mean to cause scene in there. Just…really frustrated is all."
"Don't worry, sweetie. Both me and Wolford agree with your plan. I'm not sure what has Delgato being so possessive over this case but Wolford has said it's become an obsession with him. Like sleeping in his desk chair more than a few nights a week." She stroked his ear lovingly, keeping her eyes on his. "I just wish we could do something about it."
Nick let out a heavy sigh, resolving himself to the task he knew he would need to undertake. "I'm going to see him, Judy."
The use of her real name caught her attention and knew how serious he was. "Are you…sure? I can't talk you out of it?"
"I have to get his okay on this. Even though I don't think I can stomach being in the same room as him, he is still the Chief." Nick stood but he didn't make it very far since his bunny had wrapped her arms around his midsection.
"Okay. I'll go along with it but only because it's what you want to do. Just remind him that I can burn his ass with IA if he gives you any trouble." Nick arched a brow while flashing her a teasing smirk.
"I thought my ass was the only one you were after, Carrots." He chuckled with the pink tinge running up the insides of her ears and over her cheeks.
A few minutes later the fox found himself in front of a door he had avoided like the plague since his first day back to the precinct. Behind the glass was one of the few mammals he had ever trusted in his life, and when it came time to trust him with his life, it reminded him why he trusted almost no one. And the reason it was a scarred paw that rapped on the door instead of a whole one.
A deep and gruff voice answered with a simple "Enter," which Nick did, a bit of hesitation in his movements. The sight was a familiar one, the large and imposing cape buffalo bent over his desk reading and signing off on reports. The glasses perched on his nose seemed comically small but did nothing to take any from his menacing appearance. Nick closed the door and moved to sit in the usual seat. He waited until the buffalo seemed finished and cleared his throat to get the large mammal's attention.
"What do you-," Bogo's irritation and scolding tone cut off as soon as his gaze hit the tod. "Wilde. What can I do for you?" This time the words were said with a hint of trepidation since he was still ashamed of how he had acted and fearful of what the fox's partner could do to him.
"I want permission to go out and shakedown some of the slum criminals I know for information on the cult group. Delgato won't support it but I think we've run out of options at this point."
The request was not unfamiliar as pressing information from informants was done often, but a shakedown of mammals outside of that informant chain bordered on illegal and was frowned upon by Internal Affairs and the City Council.
"I'm sorry, Wilde but I can't sign off on that. It could possibly taint the case whenever it went to trial and we cannot afford that."
Nick scoffed. "Chief, you have to reconsider. I need to do this. It's the only way we are ever going to get to these guys."
"It sounds more like a personal vendetta, Wilde." Nick felt the corners of his lip twitch in anger but forced himself to stay calm. The chief had no idea how close the fox was to snarling. Personal vendetta? How would you like it if they had ripped off your horns, you fucking coward. "We need to do this by the book. We can't let our personal feelings dictate how we act on this case. We have to follow proper pro-" Bogo cut off at the hardened glare he was receiving from the vulpine, the fox's anger rippling through the room like a wave.
"Proper procedure? Is that what you were going to say? In case you've forgotten, you already failed to do that and this maimed and disgusting thing sitting in front of you is the result!" Nick didn't remember jumping to his feet but that's how he found himself when his throat let out a vicious snarl. "You coward! You left me to fucking die and hid all of that to save face, and you won't even entertain my idea to find these psychopaths because it doesn't follow procedure?!"
Reaching a paw up to his chest, he tore the badge from his uniform leaving a small hole through which a piece of blackened flesh could be seen, the mirror image of what he now held in his paw. With an enraged look on his muzzle and a fire in his one working eye, Nick hurled the gold badge at the buffalo's head. Though it bounced off his nose, the buffalo barely felt it at all. The sight however made his heart clench.
"Wilde?" Seeing the tod jump down off the chair and head for the door, he wanted to reach out and stop him but with a rude gesture the fox vanished from the room and slammed the door behind him.
The shouts from the Chief's office had not gone unnoticed though the words were unintelligible and Nick moved between many of the other employees in the precinct on his way to the lobby. They all were like ghosts to him. Statues to be weaved around instead of the family he once thought of them as. All but a few.
Passing by the front desk, Nick stopped to see the pudgy dispatcher looking down at him in tears, his eyes focused on the missing badge and hole in his shirt. "Did the Chief…he didn't fire you, did he?"
Nick sighed heavily knowing his next words were final and resolute. "No, Spots. I quit." Clawhauser gasped predictably while tears tracked down his fur. A whine behind him told Nick that Wolford had made it out to the lobby as well. But the hardest noise to hear came next.
"NO!" Hasty footfalls echoed throughout the atrium as the gray doe of Precinct One tore across the lobby before launching herself at him and wrapping her arms tightly around his chest. "Don't you dare!"
One of the few expressions he had left in him besides anger and sadness came out of him when he sheepishly looked toward the still crying cheetah and morose looking wolf nearby. Wrapping his arms around the bunny he carried her towards the front doors and walked out of them.
Only when they were outside again did he let her go and force her off of him. She was crying and refused to look at him, preferring to clutch at his pant leg. "Carrots. Fluff? Judy!" Her tears still flowing but her cries slowing to sniffles, she looked up at him somberly.
"You can't quit. We're a team. We need to make the world a better place, remember?" Nick's expression softened and he let his paw drift softly down her cheek wiping away the tear marks.
"We're still a team, Judy. But I can't do what needs to be done while having my paws tied like this. And especially not by him."
Judy sniffled again. "Then I'll come with you."
"No!" Judy reeled back slightly at the way Nick's voice rose suddenly. "Where I'm going, what I'm doing…I can't have you put in that situation. You are a pure light in this world, Judith Hopps. And I, and the world, cannot bear to lose you." He stepped back putting a few feet between them. Judy looked as if she was ready to protest but kept her feet firm.
"I can't lose you either, Nick. I just got you back." All sorts of images, both memories and horrid imaginations flashed through her mind. Ones where Nick would come back in a box or worse, never come back at all.
"I'm not planning on going anywhere, Fluff. I finally got the love of my life. I'm not going to waste that." He took a few more steps backwards, nearly at the stairs leading away from the building. "You keep being a cop, Carrots. It's what you were meant to do."
"I was meant to be with you, you dumb fox." She wanted so much to run to him and never let him go, but somewhere deep inside of her she knew he had to do this, both for himself and for the city. "When this is over…please come back to me."
"I have no intention of doing anything else, Carrots." He turned to place his foot on the first step day from what was his second home before casting a glance over his shoulder. "Hey partner. Do one thing for me?"
"Anything," her voice barely above a whisper.
"Don't let them stop me."
