-=-=-=-Chapter 28: -=-=-=-=-
"When did I become so untrusting?" Hermione said to no one in particular. She set the cauldron down on the desk with a small cutting board and a silver knife.
Severus moved behind her, setting up the desks behind her. They moved from desk to desk, setting down the tools until every desk had the basic supplies needed for the first class, minus the books and other such supplies every student was accountable for on their own.
"The question is," Severus began, "if there was a respectable reason for it."
Hermione paused in her distribution of school supplies and pondered a moment. "He feels… too cheerful."
"Elaborate," Severus replied.
Hermione frowned and stared at one of the cauldrons in thought. "His energy didn't match his face." She looked to see Severus staring at her, his dark eyes looking through her as he chewed on her observation in her head.
"Describe the energy," he continued.
"Heavy as if laden down," Hermione described. "Sticky. Like a sneeze."
Severus' eyes seemed to gain an even darker appearance, his lips tightened into a thin line. "Come with me. There is something I must teach you." He walked out of the classroom and down the hallway to his quarters, waving his wand to extinguish all the lights in the classroom.
Hermione followed, jumping a little as the door slammed behind her. She followed the dark flutter of Severus' robe until they had passed through the portrait into his private quarters. He waved his wand to bring the light to an acceptable yet dim level. He paced back and forth as he gestured for her to sit in the battered leather chair before the hearth. The tingle in the air signaled his wards being raised, and he cast the privacy charm as he paced.
"The mind is not a book, to be opened at will and examined at leisure," Severus spoke softly, recalling the same words he once drilled into Potter on Dumbledore's behest. "Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by an invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing. It can be bent… broken… unhinged. Those that attempt to delve into the minds of others may not find what they are looking for, even if it is just under the surface."
His dark eyes met hers with a fierce glare, a trace of anger in them. "Those who use or abuse Legilimency do not always have to be good at it to find what they think they are looking for. It takes practice, skill, and great forces of will to be exacting in a read into someone's mind. The mind can be damaged by such unskilled attacks. Especially to those who do not know how to shield from it. Not all of them will be as well-meaning as Albus."
Hermione recalled that Harry had once told her that Snape had to teach something to protect himself from Voldemort. Was this what he was referring to? She frowned, trying to decipher what he was trying to explain to her.
Severus stopped pacing and looked at her. "I wish to teach you Occlumency." He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Your thoughts must remain your own unless you wish them to be read. I need you to trust me."
Hermione closed her eyes a moment. She opened them and met his gaze. "I trust you, Severus."
"Hermione," Severus said softly. "This will mostly likely bring up things you do not wish to share."
She nodded silently. "I trust you."
Snape pulled up another chair and faced her. He help out his hands to her, palm up. She placed her hands in his, feeling his cool fingers close around her own. He placed his forehead to hers. "Clear your mind."
Hermione took in a deep breath and closed her eyes as her face went expressionless.
Memories flooded back to her in waves, and he was there inside her head, guiding her how to encase them a wall and thrust them back into the corners of her mind. She saw the method, etched in his mind. She memorized the feel of the wall, forcing herself to remember how it reacted to pressure. She was dragged into a memory of Severus blocking his thoughts from the Dark Lord and forced herself to absorb the construction around his thoughts instead of paying attention to the scene itself. The memory of Ron leaving her and Harry in the wilderness rose up, and he guided her how to raise the wall and shove it back into crevices hidden within crevices in her own mind. She saw how Harry had accidently breached his carefully controlled shields before he had slammed his controls down over himself and cast Harry from his most painful memories.
Severus pulled away, releasing her hands, staring into her eyes. They stared at each other uncounted minutes until she took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm ready to begin."
Severus stood, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at her. "Legilimens!"
Hermione screamed as the first wave of memories rushed by her. She saw herself erasing her existence from the minds of her own parents. She saw herself crying at the Yule Ball. She saw Bellatrix cackling above her as she cursed her to the edge of death.
"Concentrate," Severus said. "Keep me out."
She screamed again as memories of Snape standing above her in class, sneering at her, calling her an insufferable know-it-all. She saw Ron at the dance with his girlfriend. She saw his face as he accused her familiar for eating his rat. She saw Harry hanging limply in Hagrid's arms. She saw Severus dying in front of her, bleeding out as she thrust the vial into Harry's hands to collect the memories.
She gritted her teeth, pulling on the memory of Severus's instruction. Clear your mind.
She snarled, pulling on the rage she tapped into when she threw hexes towards Ron when he returned from abandoning her. Focus on nothing.
She remembered the cold emptiness she found in the depths of the war when she raised her wand to deliver her first killing curse. Slow your mind until nothing is the only thing that remains.
Her eyes darkened, her face hardened into a cold expression of pure force of will. She built the walls as Severus had done around her memories and cast them into the abyss of her own mind, tearing them from her own thoughts and forced them fleeing into the darkness. She let the deadly calm fill her up, and she cast Severus from her mind, sending his wand flying into the wall of his chambers.
Hermione took in a deep breath and shuddered, expression returning to her face as she searched Severus' face for a sign of her success or failure.
He stared at her with his obscure eyes and nodded to her solemnly.
Hermione stared into the fire, watching the flames dance across the wood. Her mind was settled and almost eerily calm. Her mind had clutched on the knowledge she had learned, harnessed it, and stowed it away for the future unknown.
Severus had retrieved his wand and was rustling with something on the far side of his quarters. He returned to the empty seat next to her and sat down, laying a tray with tea between them. They both stared into the flickering flames as they sipped the tea.
"Thank you for trusting me, Hermione."
"Thank you for trusting me, Severus."
They continued to stare into the fire together until the embers died out.
