A/N: SURPRISE! In honor of Draco Malfoy's birthday, I present another (extra-long) chapter! Not surprisingly, most of you who are brave enough to review are Slytherin. Only one was Gryffindor! I applaud you all for reviewing. Personally, Pottermore tells me I am Gryffindor, but I say SLYTHERIN, SLYTHERIN, SLYTHERIN! My co-writer for this story was Sorted into Ravenclaw by Pottermore.


Hermione had been going in and seeing Draco once a week for nearly a month but graduation was coming up soon, just around the corner and Hermione need for Draco to be there, at Hogwarts. Hermione simply hadn't been able to make good on her promise to Draco to help him…and she wasn't about to use Veritaserum to start with, the way Draco had expected her to do.

"I'm simply saying, Mrs. Malfoy-" Hermione quickly hid around the other side of the corner, listening in on the conversation between Narcissa and Madam Adonna, Draco's Healer, "that we cannot release Draco, graduation or not, until he starts opening up. You can sit here and tell me about the rape all day but it doesn't mean anything to the St. Mungo's Admin Board until we hear it from Draco himself."

Hermione hung her head in defeat. It appeared that Draco would never open up to a stranger. He didn't even open up to her anymore, he didn't open up to Narcissa anymore. The only person Draco opened up to, and that was barely, was Blaise and not even Blaise could get him to admit his reasoning for hurting himself. Draco had stubbornly shut himself off emotionally from everyone. Now, Hermione knew what she had to do.

Hermione walked up to Narcissa. "Mrs. Malfoy, has Draco opened up at all?"

"Not yet, dear. I'm afraid until he does, he won't be making it to graduation."

"Can I...Can I try?" Hermione asked innocently, "Maybe I can talk to him."

The Healer opened the door, allowing Hermione inside the room with nothing more than a styrofoam cup of tea. The room was probably not the best of places to try and convince one to confess their deepest secrets, being of four white walls, two folding chairs and a folding table. It reminded Hermione more of the interrogation room she had seen in her father's detective movies than somewhere to ask a 'suicidal' patient how they were feeling.

"Draco," Hermione whispered, causing Draco to pick his head up off the table where he was resting it. He was tired of the Healers trying to get into his head and he wasn't in the mood to see Hermione here too.

"What are you doing here, Granger? Want to poke and prod at my head too? Try and figure out what I am thinking?"

"No!" Hermione answered with a snap, frustrated that he was even calling her by her surname again, frustrated with the sarcasm in his voice. "I was bringing you some tea, you inconsiderate ferret!"

In the other room, the Healer looked at Narcissa, who shrugged. Originally, she had wanted for Draco to keep quiet about it all, but she discovered that Hermione had told Madam Adonna everything already, so their secrets were already revealed. Plus…Draco couldn't miss his own graduation. He had worked so hard for it.

"This doesn't seem healthy for Draco," Madam Adonna says lightly, stepping towards the door.

"Don't," Narcissa answered, setting her hand on the Healer's arm. "If my boy is arguing, it's a step forward. I have seen this girl with my Draco. Watch, I have faith in her."

"Inconsiderate ferret, huh? That's touching, really it is," Draco answered, absent-mindedly taking a drink of the tea Hermione had given him. It tasted a tad bit watered down, but Draco blamed that on the hospital. "So why else are you here?"

"For the same reason I am here every week," Hermione answered, "I'm ready for you to come back to Hogwarts."

"I never thought I'd say it, but Hogwarts does sound rather nice right now," Draco smirked, taking another sip of tea.

"If you talk," Hermione whispered, setting her hand on his. "You can come back. I'll let you sleep in the bed?" She begged, "I'll sleep on the floor."

"As tempting as that is, Granger, I think I'll pass. I have no intention to tell them anything. Healers trying to invade my mind. Trying to find out about-"

"They know, Draco!" Hermione screamed at him. "Stop being selfish, they know about everything. They know that you hurt yourself! They know about our son, how he was conceived. They know everything!"

"Then they don't need for me to tell them," Draco answered, propping his feet up on the table. He grabbed the cup, finishing off the tea inside.

"Are you done with your tea?" Hermione asks casually, trying to look in the cup.

"Yes," Draco answered, handing her the cup. "And so is this conversation."

Hermione picked up the cup, "I just thought maybe bringing you something to drink would help you open up to them or to me at least," she looked at him seriously, and winked without smiling.

"How would a cup of tea help?" Draco asked, snarling his nose.

"How wouldn't it?" Hermione smiled slightly, walking over to the door, a very unlike Hermione smirk on her face. A very sneaky smirk on her face. She took the cup along with her making sure as to hide all traces of evidence of what she had done.

"You told me you knew the game," she said softly to Draco, her voice still begging him to come forward. "You said that until I came along you played the game well, and then I changed the rules. I just want you to know that I thought I knew the game as well. I thought I knew what I wanted until your lips touched mine and you changed everything. You changed the rules."


As she felt the doorknob latch under her hand, Hermione looks up at Narcissa then at the Healer. "I think he is ready to talk now," she said, walking away. Hermione fought back the tears and mentally begs Draco for forgiveness in what she knew she had to do.

Madam Adonna shared a look with Narcissa, questioning her. "Do you really think Hermione managed to convince him?" she asked Draco's mother.

Narcissa looked through the window at her son. "I thought I knew my Draco like no other." She answered, a choke in her voice as she fought back the tears. "I thought I knew my Draco and that he was stronger than all this. He seemed so happy to become a father, so happy to have a family of his own," Narcissa stopped herself, looking up at the ceiling, a woman of elegance, a real lady simply didn't cry. "Whenever he looks at Miss Granger, Hermione, I see my son soften up a little. I see the boy I used to love, the boy who used to make cookies with me and laugh, not the man his father forced him to become."

Madam Adonna reached out a hand, trying to assist the woman in front of her. "It's always difficult in cases such as this, Mrs. Malfoy," the healer assured. "Draco hasn't opened up to anyone at all, about anything. Perhaps I should try now?"

Narcissa was still reluctant—she didn't like anybody meddling in the affairs of her family, but if confessing would help her son, then he would simply have to do it. She nodded at the Healer, steeling herself for what Draco would eventually have to reveal—about her, about Lucius, about…everything.


Draco sat there, thinking about what Hermione had said about Draco changing the rules as well. Maybe she was right, maybe...Suddenly Draco's head starts to pound rapidly as he felt every secret he had ever kept hidden away exposed. Grabbing his temples, he clenches his jaw laying his head on the table. He felt like his head was exploding and his chest was constricting. He couldn't breathe as all the emotions overwhelmed him.

The pain stopped just as quickly as it had started, leaving Draco alone in an all-white room with only his memories to keep him company. That's when Draco realized it. The tea. Hermione had brought the tea in, she had taken the tea out. She had added Veritaserum in the tea.

Quietly, Madam Adonna steps into the room, half-expecting Draco to clam up and turn her away, yet again.

"Miss Granger said that perhaps you were ready to talk now?"

Draco glares at the Healer, snarling his nose. "Don't really have a choice in the matter now, do I?" he answers, hatred in his voice.

The healer raised an eyebrow. Draco was even more hostile than usual. She decided to try anyway. "What were you doing the night in Hogsmeade where you were found?"

Draco looks at her again, out of the corner of his eye. How could he avoid the question now, since he couldn't lie? He couldn't, it was obvious what he was going to have to do.

"Blaise had told me the night before that he thought Hermione cared about me. She's not supposed to care about me, so I was drinking to try and forget about her,"cringing, he cursed Hermione forever doing this to him. For ever making him expose the monster he truly was…he couldn't believe, that at one point, he had actually begged her to help him.

"I...see," replied Madam Adonna, hardly believing that Draco was finally opening up. She jotted some stuff down on the clipboard she was holding in her hands before asking another question. "Why isn't Hermione supposed to care about you?"

Draco knew this was coming. Standing up, he pushed himself hard away from the table. He starts to pace back and forth, frustrated as the thoughts resurface in his mind. Slamming his hands down on the table, he stares into the Healer's eyes, causing her to jump a little.

"Do you know my Aunt Bellatrix? Bellatrix Lestrange? I know you know my father, the psychopath in the room down the hall, the one who believes he is still getting jobs from the Dark Lord? They were vicious to Hermione, they tortured the hell out of her and then they...they...they told me if I didn't rape her, if I didn't get information out of her, they would kill us both. And they would have. My father would have sodding killed us both for the greater good. I apologized and I kissed her, I kissed her like I had wanted to for years, every time she would look at me I wanted to kiss her, every time she'd hex me and it made me sick because she was a Mudblood and I would ruin my blood by mating with her, but I kissed her and then I...I did what I had to do to save her life." Tears of anger were streaming down Draco's face now as he sat back down, putting his head in his hands and hid his face.

At this point, Madam Adonna scribbled on her notepad furiously. She turned to him again and asked, "So...your father and Bellatrix made you rape Miss Granger," she restated. "Clearly, this affected you deeply. You admit to me you kissed her, as you had always wanted to. Was the rape an agreeable thing for you? Was it something you wanted to do, too?" she asked impassively, shielding the question from any and all emotion.

Draco picks his head up, fury in his eyes. "What kind of a bloody question is that? Do I look like Aunt Belle to you? Do I look like my father? No, I didn't want to hurt her. I would never hurt Hermione. I mean ,sure, I said some hateful things to her, made her cry but that was to push her away. She was better off without me. I'd never do something like rape her if I had a choice. I…" Fight it Draco, fight it, replace it. Find a new word. "…I care about her."

Of course, Adonna had already guessed that the rape had never been something Draco had wanted to do. She just needed him to answer her questions with honesty. She had hoped such a direct, hard question would shock him. It appeared to have been just the thing.

"So," said Adonna softly, "You care for her. You did something bad to her. Has she forgiven you for it?"

Draco nodded, putting his head back in his hands. "Yeah, that's the problem. She's all...Muggle about it. Like 'it's okay. I forgive you.' How the hell can you forgive someone for something like that? I was...I am the only guy she's ever been with. Now don't get me wrong, I've fooled around in the past. With the Malfoy name, I don't even need charm to get the ladies, but...but that's not how I wanted to take her." Draco looks up at the Healer. "I see the way she looks at me sometimes and it makes me sick. Potter was right, I should have just killed myself trying to save

her instead. She'd be better off. I...She thinks I'll be a good father and I won't. I'm terrified because…what if I turn out like Lucius? What if my son turns out like me? That's why I was drinking. That's why I…" Draco looks down at his arm then back up at the Healer, "I wasn't trying to kill myself," he mumbled.

"You started cutting because you're afraid you'll be a bad father, is that it?" the Healer pressed.

"I started cutting because it felt good," Draco answered, not an ounce of emotion in his voice. Not an ounce of emotion on his face. "I started cutting because the alcohol wasn't doing its job anymore. Even with the alcohol, I could feel Hermione's lips, her touch."

"So it's guilt," Adonna surmised, "that's been eating you alive."

"Guilt?" Draco asks, "Yeah, guilt is a nice way of putting it. I keep telling myself there is something I can do. Somehow I can make Hermione forget it all but I can't. I mean, sure I could Obliviate her but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't let myself make her forget that I…" new word Draco. Different word. Different word. "…That I—saved—her."

"It's okay to feel guilt, Draco," Adonna said kindly. "In fact, you did what you intended to do all along-you saved her life." Then the Healer looked straight into his eyes. "Would you rather Hermione be dead?"

Draco bit his tongue as the emotions started overwhelming him again, the hatred for his father and his aunt, the fear of being a bad parent, the pain of seeing Hermione cry. Taking his feet of the table, he leans forward. "She was dead," Draco whispers in a monotone voice. "For two months after the rape, I watched her walk around dead. For three weeks she lay in my bed not moving, barely blinking. Dead. She spent her entire first trimester dead. Want to know what brought her back? Me. Not Potter or Weasley. Me. Want to know why?"

"Of course I do. Tell me, please," the Healer replied.

"I saved Hermione because whenever I saw her walking around dead, I realized that without her, I may as well be dead too."

"Right then, Draco, I think you've talked quite enough for one day. I will come back tomorrow to discuss things with you again. Are you able to handle that?"

Draco looks up at her, his grey eyes meeting hers. "If you leave now, I will never speak of this again," Draco answered, the truth serum working its magic. "And I'd rather like to go back to Hogwarts again. I have no intent on hurting myself again."

The Healer narrowed her eyes at him, scrutinizing her chart and his eyes. "Did somebody slip you some Veritaserum, then? Is that why you've been talking to me so openly?"

Draco bit his tongue, clenching his eyes shut. He knew better than to fight the answers, that it would just make his head pound, but he also knew he needed to get out of there. "One can assume," he answered, opening one eye "but I have no proof either way."

"I see," she answered quietly. "So...while you're still under the influence of this potion-or-not, you did tell me you have no intention to hurt yourself anymore. Why is that?"

Draco looked up at the Healer, "Because I don't. The last thing that went through my mind that I remember was Hermione. I don't want people telling my son that I raped his mother. I don't want them telling my son that I was Lucius. I...I have to live. I have no other choice."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Draco," the Healer said. "it's a very healthy attitude. I will discuss with the others what I have heard tonight," she continued. "However, I highly doubt you will be released back to Hogwarts yet, seeing as how you will not willingly talk about what's going on with you."

Draco felt anger filling him. "I'm talking, aren't I?" He stood up, yelling, slinging his chair behind him. "I don't have to talk and I never told you if I drank the serum," he had to watch his words carefully now. "I told you that I raped Hermione! I raped her and I hated every minute of it. I told you that I cut myself but I didn't want to die and I promise I will never do it again! The only thing I didn't tell you was why I can't let go and that's private!" He screamed, slamming his fist on the table.

The Healer looked at him with disappointment. "Draco, anger isn't going to help you," she admonished," so you had best learn that right now. As I have stated, I will talk with the others about what I have observed here. Good day," she said, making notes on her chart as she walked away.

Say something, Draco. Say something before she walks out the door. Say something willingly. "I never wanted to take the Dark Mark. I...I still puke at the thought of the rape. And I...I love Hermione Granger. Look at me ma'am, please!"

The Healer carefully straightened her back and slowly turned around. "Ah," she said, with a faint smile, "a true breakthrough." Then she reached out to Draco and continued, "what you don't know is that the effects of Veritaserum can be fought, somewhat. The important thing was to make certain that you weren't aware of that. I will hold all of what you have told me here in highest trust, but know that it might help you heal if you tell Hermione how you feel about her," she said gently. "At least think about it."

Draco looked at her. "I will talk about the rape all day if I have to. I will tell you-" Draco stopped himself, looking at the window where he knew his mother stood. "I'll tell you anything you need to know," he mumbles through his teeth, "I just want to be able to hold Hermione when she wakes up from the nightmares that I have caused. Can't you do something?" Draco asked, a tear streaming down his cheek. "What do you need to know?"

"You have been through a lot, Draco, the past few months...or even the last couple of years. It's not small miracle that you made it so long without doing something quite as self-destructive as cutting." The Healer said, "I am your case manager, so I will put in a good word for you," she said. "But it will take a least a day before you are released. Just tell me one more thing. Did you ever intend to kill yourself?"

Draco looked the Healer in the eyes, his voice monotone again. "If I wanted to die, I would have told my Aunt Bellatrix to sod off."

"Very well," the Healer nodded with finality. "Thank you, Draco, for sharing with me what you have today. I'm certain it wasn't easy. We will let you know of our decision tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night? No, you don't understand! I...I need to be with Hermione tomorrow night. Please? She needs me." Draco's eyes pleaded. Hermione hadn't needed to say anything, the full moon reminded him that the anniversary of that date was drawing near again, he had her nightmares down pat. "She needs me."

"Yes, Draco, tomorrow night. And no sooner," she said. "Don't test me."

Draco looked down, sitting on the floor in the white room. "I'm sorry, Hermione...for everything."