*LILLY POV*

Lilly woke up to her face being lovingly caressed.

She lazily opened her tired eyes to see Levi sitting on the edge of the bed, now fully clothed. He was wearing a white long sleeve dress shirt with black dress pants.

"Time to get up lazy ass." Levi said as he glanced down at her.

Lilly rolled over to see that the sun hadn't risen yet. She slowly sat up and stretched, causing the sheet to fall from her naked chest. Once the cool air hit her nipples, she quickly pulled the sheet back up to cover herself.

"What are you hiding from? Especially after last night." Levi said as he picked up a clean and neatly folded women's uniform and set it beside her.

Lilly was quiet as she looked down at the clothes.

"I grabbed these from the recruitment office since your uniforms are in your dorm. Thought these looked about your size." He said.

"Thank you." Lilly said as she continued to hold the sheet to her chest.

"Get dressed so you can get something in your stomach before you leave. The sun will be coming up soon." Levi said as he stood.

Lilly sat in bed for a moment longer. Nothing in her body felt like getting up and moving. Her body was sore, particularly her lady parts. She glanced down and saw that she was swollen, and her eyes widened when she saw that she had leaked out a small amount of blood. She quickly looked up at him and he stared at her with his usual bored and half lidded gaze.

"What?" He asked as he walked over to her side and looked down onto the slightly soiled sheet.

He stared at the stain and then looked up at her.

"Go get dressed. I'll take care of the sheets." He said in a low tone.

Lilly quietly stood up and grabbed the clean uniform and set it down in a chair that was across the room by the bookcase. She slid on her clean undergarments before stepping into the white uniform pants. A dull cramp hit her as she slowly put her arms through the white button up shirt. She was definitely feeling it from a few hours ago. She paused as she watched Levi finish changing the sheets. He moved the basket of dirty sheets by the door so he could take them down easily, and then returned his attention back on Lilly.

He walked over to her and grabbed her shirt, and gently started buttoning it up for her. She stood quietly as he felt the tugging of her shirt as he popped the buttons through their rightful holes and closed her eyes once his fingers got to the collar. He turned and grabbed the brown leather ODM belts from the chair and started buckling the chest harness for her.

"You don't have to do that." She said to him.

"Tch, you're slow as hell when you put your belts on. If there's any hope of you eating before you leave, it's best that I just do it." He said.

"Okay, Captain." She quietly chuckled, reaching her hand up to her mouth to hide her smile.

He pinched her side and she jumped.

"Ow!" She said as she rubbed her side.

He lowered himself to her leg so he could adjust the leg harness and held the foot belt out.

She could see him smirking below her.

"Step. Brat." He said as he waited for her to place her foot in the belt.

She obediently placed her foot inside the belt, holding on to his shoulder for balance. She waited as he tightened the belts on her thighs.

After finishing the lower half of her body, he rose to finish her back belts.

"You sure do know how to pamper a lady." Lilly joked as he finished adjusting all her belts for her.

"Hn. You think?" He said in a low tone as he turned to grab her tan jacket.

He held the small jacket out and she stuck each of her arms through the sleeves.

She turned to face him and planted a kiss on his lips.

"I think so." She said and gave him a small smile.

...

The sun had started to rise after Lilly and Levi left the mess hall. He had made her fill her bag with food to take with her on the scouting mission, despite the estimated time frame of the mission only being 8-10 hours.

Lilly had also grabbed a second sack for April.

And the thought of her coming on the mission had started to make her feel ill.

Well being distracted from the fact was good while it lasted.

At the stables, the other scouts and Hange were getting their horses ready. Lilly frowned when she had remembered about Hvid. How her horse never returned to her in that forest on the expedition.

Levi walked in front of her and started saddling his horse.

"Take my horse. It'd be easier on my mind if you did." He said.

"Oh thank you." Lilly said as she stuck her hand out to his black horse.

The horse sniffed her hand and must have smelled Levi on her because he then eagerly stuck his nose into Lilly's chest and started licking her face. Lilly laughed as she rubbed the horse's snout and glanced over at Levi who was looking at her expressionlessly.

He then looked down at the two bags of food in her hands.

"Is there something up with her?" Levi asked before shooting his icy gaze back at Lilly.

"Who?" Lilly asked quietly.

"Your friend. April." Levi said as he stepped closer.

"What.. um... well.."

Everything inside of Lilly was screaming to tell him. To tell him about April's pregnancy. To get her out of here despite her wishes. Despite the fact she promised she wouldn't.

"Hey good morning Lilly." Ben's voice came from behind her.

She quickly turned around and smiled nervously.

"Good morning Ben." Lilly said as she looked past him and saw April who was walking towards them with a worried expression on her face.

Levi studied April before looking back at Lilly with a calm, yet suspicious look on his face.

"Hey guys, Lilly, Captain." April said quietly as she walked past them and started saddling her horse.

Lilly could feel the fear in April. And it directly effected Lilly's energy.

She looked around frantically at the scouts around her with their horses. There were too many people around. Her eyes met back with Levi who was just staring at her quietly.

"Alright Scouts! Move out!" Hange shouted.

Levi stepped to Lilly and grabbed her by the collar, bringing her face just inches from his and he looked her in the eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid out there." He said sternly.

"I won't." Lilly said as her heart started racing.

Levi then pressed a firm kiss against her lips, and she lifted her hand to his face to feel his skin once more.

She could feel many eyes glued on them from all directions at this point.

But she didn't care.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Would things always be this way?

Where each of their goodbyes could be their last?

She brought her lips to his ear while feeling her heart beat against his chest.

"I love you." She said in a frightened and emotional whisper before leaving him standing alone.

She swung herself up onto Levi's horse and gave him one last hurried glance before turning away and catching up with the other scouts who had started flowing out the headquarters gates already.

Hot tears stung in her eyes as she fought against the fear of what was to come.

...

Lilly sat on her horse next to April's in front of the exiting gate in Karanes District. They were only just waiting for Hange's command at this point. Five wagons filled with supplies and building materials were in front of Lilly and April. They had enough people where building this base just a couple miles from the gate should be a breeze. That's what Lilly told herself to make herself feel better anyways.

Lilly glanced over to April who was resting her hand on her lower stomach and frowning.

Lilly wanted so badly to reach over and strangle her for this.

How stupid and selfish.

But now she was just as stupid and selfish.

Lilly looked behind her and Ben was a few horses back.

Ben would be happy to find out he's going to be a father. Ben was always a great guy. He had a great sense of humor and was always uplifting to everyone around him. April was drawn to that about him. But Ben also grew up with a strong sense of respect and family values, and had always talked about what kind of father he'd be someday.

Hopefully he'd get the chance.

Lilly looked over to April once more.

"You holding up okay?" Lilly asked in a quiet tone, trying not to let her frustration leak into her voice.

"I'm okay. Where were you last night? I woke up and saw you weren't there." April said.

"I had a bad dream. Couldn't sleep." Lilly said.

"So where did you go?" April asked.

"I slept with Levi." Lilly said bluntly.

April's face dropped for a moment and then she smiled wide.

"Holy shit Lilly. Didn't think you had it in you." April laughed.

Lilly couldn't fight the smile on her face and then looked back to April.

"He didn't like... finish in you... did he?" April asked quietly.

"What? No. He pulled out." Lilly said quietly. "He's smarter than that." Lilly scoffed.

"Scouts! Onward!" Hange called out.

Soon enough, Lilly and April were riding out the gate and back into titan territory. Ben rode up to ride next to April while they passed through the abandoned town, creating a barrier between possible oncoming titans and April.

They watched as two scouts up a head flew off to take down a small titan that was approaching the wagons.

Other than that, there were no other titans in sight. Relief washed over Lilly as they continued to ride forward.

Maybe everything would go just fine.

...

Lilly stood on look out up in a tall tree not far from where the base was being built. The base would be nothing more than a small tower that held supplies that the scouts would need to restock on while traveling along the route.

April was in a tree not far from where Lilly was, and Ben was in the tree next to Lilly.

They stood for six hours in those trees, watching for any titans that could draw too close to the base construction site. Eventually Lilly became hungry. She could only imagine how hungry April must have been at that point. She launched out of the tree and down next to Levi's horse that was tied up to the tree. She pet his dark snout and rested her face against his neck.

She missed Levi.

She had nearly spent all of her time with him while recovering and now she was away for the first time. Not to mention she had slept with him for the first time the night before, and now she just felt even more attached to him.

She'd make it back.

This was just another day.

She picked up her head and sighed while grabbing the two sacks of food from the saddle.

She then turned and started walking to where April was posted.

The air was getting cooler now that summer was coming to an end. Lilly closed her eyes as she felt it blow against her. She walked for five minutes until she came to a hill. She climbed up to the top of the grassy hill and then looked up at April who was sitting in her branch sleeping.

Sleeping.

When she was supposed to be on lookout.

"April!" Lilly shouted with frustration.

Lilly ran to the base of the tree and looked past it. Three titans were just about 30 meters from them. Lilly launched herself into the tree and shot off a red flare.

The sound of the flare being shot off woke up April.

"What the hell April? How could you fall asleep right now? You were supposed to be keeping a look out!" Lilly exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I'm so tired nowadays..." April said in a quivering voice as she sat up frantically.

"There are three titans headed this way. You could've been killed had I not thought to bring you this food." Lilly said as she looked to the approaching titans. "You leave! Now!" Lilly shouted.

Lilly saw Ben coming on his horse along with Levi's horse to answer the flare signal. April got down from the tree and untied her horse.

Lilly turned to see there was already a titan reaching out for her and she launched out of the way and swung up into the air. Her body was propelled by the force and she quickly shot another anchor into titans back.

"April, MOVE!" Lilly screamed as she sliced down into the titan's neck. Blood sprayed up into Lilly's face and hair.

Just then a much smaller and quicker titan ran past Lilly and straight for April who was trying to get up on her horse.

Ben launched off his horse and went straight for the small titan.

April's horse reared up in front of the titan and April fell off the back of her horse once the titan reached out for her. April landed on her head against the ground and her body went limp as it rolled down the hill.

"No!" Ben said in a broken scream as he shot an anchor into the small titan who had lifted April's body into the air. Ben came crashing down against the titan's neck full force, causing the titan to drop April to the ground.

Lilly was frozen in place. Her mouth hung open in shock. Her body went numb with her breath caught in her throat.

It was all her fault. How dare she yell at April for falling asleep when April needed the sleep. She was pregnant and shouldn't have even been there in the first place. Lilly had multiple chances to tell Levi.

But she didn't.

All because she didn't want to break a promise to her best friend.

And now her friend was dead.

With a baby inside of her.

What had she done?

It was supposed to be a simple mission.

Low risk.

Lilly replaced her blades and turned to face the last titan who was approaching at a speedier pace now.

Her numbness subsided and rage burned within her. Rage that she had never experienced before. Hatred.

But for herself.

Her skin was crawling, and burning with the discomfort of being in her own skin. She hated the decision she made, even though she was trying to be good to April.

Now, was April truly dead?

Lilly held both of her blades out as she launched into the titan, cutting it's arm off at the elbow. It then reached out for her with it's other arm, but she sliced his hand off clean at the wrist. She then proceeded to launch up it's back and wound her arms up and sliced down into the titan's neck.

She had no time to waste. She needed to go to April and Ben.

She needed to know if her friend was truly dead because of her.

She ran over to where Ben kneeled down rocking April back and forth with tears in his eyes.

"Baby no. Please, no. Wake up April, I'm here baby." He cried.

Lilly stared down at them, with pain writhing inside of her.

April's head was bleeding.

Lilly kneeled down with tears falling from her eyes and checked for her friend's pulse.

She was still alive.

"Why wasn't the flare shot off sooner?" Ben cried.

"She was sleeping." Lilly answered.

"What?" Ben asked looking at Lilly like she was crazy.

Lilly stared at him and breathed in.

"She's pregnant Ben." Lilly said quietly.

Ben stared at April quietly for a few minutes. Lilly looked up to see more scouts approaching with the wagons behind them. They must have finished building the base.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Ben asked with hurt in his voice.

"She was afraid Ben. She didn't want you to get distracted, and she didn't want to get sent away yet. She was going to tell you tomorrow." Lilly said quietly.

"And you knew." Ben said.

"I knew." Lilly admitted.

He looked away with disgust.

"Leave me. Go tell them she needs immediate attention." Ben said coldly.

Lilly stood and looked at her friend once more before jumping up on Levi's horse.

"You know Lilly. I thought you were supposed to be her friend." Ben said quietly while looking down at April. He was stroking her brown hair lovingly.

Lilly didn't respond.

She wasn't capable of responding.

She just turned around on the horse and headed towards the wagons, fighting tears as her chest became heavy.

...

It was late afternoon by the time they approached headquarters. Lilly hadn't spoken. She just rode behind the wagon that carried April's unconscious body. Ben was in the wagon with April, staring down at her with agony.

What had she done?

Why didn't she listen to her instincts?

This was all her fault.

And Hange said she didn't know when and if she was going to wake up.

Lilly quite possibly had gotten her best friend killed.

Tears ran from Lilly's eyes. She rode with her hood up and wrapped her fingers in Levi's horse's mane.

Everything was surreal.

This didn't feel real.

It couldn't be.

They rode through the gates and all the other scouts gathered around to congratulate the mission's success. Commander Erwin was standing next to Levi who now wore a black suit jacket draped over his shoulders. Lilly watched as Hange approached both Erwin and Levi.

Hange seemed to be explaining what had happened, because she pointed to the wagon that held April. Erwin's eyes widened and Levi's eyes darted straight to Lilly as she tried to avoid him.

He probably thought she was a complete idiot now. He definitely was going to yell at her.

He was still her commanding officer.

Lilly watched as April was carried off to the infirmary, with Ben following close behind. She hung her head and went straight to the stables and took the saddle off of the horse. She buried her face into the horse's neck and shuddered.

Then she felt a presence behind her.

"That was what you wanted to tell me." Levi's low voice said from behind her.

Lilly didn't answer. She didn't want to look at him. She was dripping with guilt and shame.

"I'm not going to stand here and tell you what you already know. That you should have told me." He said.

"I thought you weren't going to tell me what I already knew." Lilly said in an irritated tone.

"But I will tell you, I acknowledge that you had a choice. You made the decision that you chose because you wanted to trust your friend. And you wanted her to trust you." He said as he stepped forward.

Lilly's face was getting hot and she felt her chest getting heavy again.

"It was stupid of you Lilly. Real fucking stupid. But your heart was in the right place." He paused and Lilly heard him take another step. "She is just as guilty for what happened, if not more than you. She should have told someone as soon as she found out." He continued.

She turned around to face him, tears swelling in her eyes.

"We all have to make hard choices. It's sometimes a gamble no matter which way you go." He said as he pressed her head against him and stroked her hair.

"I should have told you." She sobbed.

"But you didn't. And crying about it isn't going to change anything Lilly." Levi said.

"You're such an asshole." She cried into his neck, still clinging to him.

But he was right.

"You made your choice, now keep your head forward. All you can do is learn from this and move on. That is all you can do." He said as he held her.