AN: In which narrators pop up from everywhere and a Not-Equal breaks future plots. Thanks for the support, and Merry Christmas everyone!

Chapter 28: Apparently, Death isn't dirt cheap

"The young reincarnated Wizard Marshall couldn't help but stop and slap his head for messing about with strange items within the inventory world of his former self."

I slapped my forehead whilst cursing my stupidity.

"Why was he cursing his stupidity? You might wonder. Well, it so happens that he happened across an engraved scroll with an automated spell. You see, under normal circumstances, any reasonable person would check for traps from a suspicious looking item.

Sadly, boredom is truly the bane of those that deem themselves wise.

The man known by many names could only regret activating the spell by accident."

Fuck you! Stop it!

"Truly, it was a terrible spell. One that would only work on those with the powers of precognition and post cognition… Its name is-

The Third Person Narrator!"

Oh god please I want my Persona's to go back to bugging me now! Stop narrating my life!

Fuck me sideways why did I have to make this spell in the first place…

"It would only be a few seconds later that the man would realise that the 'Narrator' had the powers of foreshadowing!"

Wait, what?

"The 'Narrator' is also an excellent tool for exposition, not that he would realise it until the end of this sentence."

Motherfucker!

"He cursed with an accurate phrase describing his most recent sexual activity."

I just had to get bored didn't I?

If anything, I blame Miya. What was the point of accompanying her to her husbands grave before being told to go off somewhere just outside my super hearing so that she could speak privately? She could have went alone… whilst she wasn't the strongest person in the world she could probably handle herself.

Perhaps she was paranoid of snipers?

"It was these bouts of random thoughts and actions that had always confused the thoughts of the elegant landlady-"

Oh come on!

"-Yet, she could not deny that it was an aspect of the man she liked greatly. Or rather, it would be accurate to say that she wanted to deny it, yet couldn't."

Thanks for the review jackass! Wait, she actually likes that about me? Go figure! Keep on going voice!

I'm just going to be a good friend and stay out of my super hearing range… at the edge whilst tinkering about my massive dimensional inventory from my first life whilst listening to the narration.

"It can be said that out of all her guests, it was the most confusing and mysterious of her guests that she found interesting. He was a man of contradictions. Polite and rude whenever it suited him, he always lived as he wanted, at the very least that was what she could glean from him. A man that always talked too much, revealing many secrets yet… rarely ever telling the whole truth. An eccentric powerful mage, chef and fighter.

Most of her attention however was focused on the man's casual kindness. She could tell that there were a great many things that he would have loved to do, yet, he decided to spend that time on helping others. From teaching Iris Japanese, encouraging his Sekirei in all manners of pursuits, helping Uzume out with her Ashikabi's problem, allowing Minato a way to help protet others, providing an environment for his allies to get more powerful, helping out strangers from another dimension immediately, providing her with a powerful sword (even though she gave up her own blade years ago), going out as a superhero to help and heal others (including Minato and Chiho).

Many of those things were not done in the most overt or 'heroic' way, but he didn't need the gratification. He made excuses like 'playing hero' when he's not a 'cost-benefit analysis' sort of person. He used fear and danger in order to push people to greater heights.

Despite his apparent age, he was not a wise mentor. A good person to kick start anyone's journey, but a bystander from then on that would provide help should someone ask for it.

Ah, but then again he never was one for passiveness. No, he was passionate about doing something with his time and he preferred it to be something beneficial to others. Why else would he have cared about her state of being so much? Her financial, health and emotional status… all of it. He certainly did care for certain people more than others, but she couldn't fault him for that. Certainly, even her husband Takehito had prioritised helping those around him and came to him rather than helpless refugees across the globe.

She couldn't match up to her husband's level of kindness, and certainly not the occasionally sociopathic interdimensional meddler that came into her life. She could argue that MBI had forced her into a situation where she couldn't act. But that would have been a lie, as she didn't even want to try.

She would have been fine with just staying in the home Takehito and her shared. She had already abandoned her kin's welfare to MBI as they were essential for the Sekirei's protection, but with the current state of the Sekirei Plan? She knew she could have done more.

She had seen the lengths the man formerly known as Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg went in order to fight against the universe's laws, going so much as to commit suicide to be free from his chains. As for her? She didn't even try.

Sheltering Matsu, providing for Uzume and Homura… she had already reasoned with herself that it was only an excuse for her self-satisfaction and to remember her husband by.

She was content to have lived in the house that Takehito had bought for the both of them. Despite removing herself from the world's problems, she could only suffer from crushing loneliness and sadness on a daily basis, wishing that every day that she lived past Takehito's death was only a bad dream. That she would wake up to see him by her bedside again…

Her inner conflict however, was brought to the fore when she stopped waking up sad. Her Zanpakuto's scathing remarks that decried her lack of duty to her Sekirei whilst bemoaning her user as a failure of a protector of Sekirei only increased her conflicted feelings."

…Damn… that's painful.

I could only imagine that as 'Shadow-Self Lite'.

I couldn't comment on what the narration said about myself because I'm clearly an unreliable narrator myself.

Why-O-Why did I have to like that trope so much as to engrave it into my thinking process?

Maybe having a third person narrator wouldn't be so bad after all?

"Oh my? I can be a narrator! I could watch many things with Kaleidoscope abilities… I mean, we can all watch through Izanagi's cloak and make commentary." Titania speaks up in an eager yet tired tone, did she seriously spent days watching multiverse stuff?

"You won't believe how awful it is to have beings of all sorts stare at your clothes for days." Kaleidoscope Izanagi grumbled.

"Tohru Adachi's thoughts on the matter wouldn't last long as he would soon realise that the Third Person Narrator was being fed only the bare scraps of extra multiversal energies, and hence, need to go into hibernation after long narrations. Thankfully, he would need little of it as the landlady was soon about to walk into his superhearing range and call for him. Fully trusting that he would care enough to have been focusing his hearing on her location… at this point, she both wanted and didn't want to prove that her most interesting tenant would be there for her when she called for him."

Oh, for fucks sake.

Alright, you Persona's do what you want I guess. Just… just don't flood my head with useless narration.

Sigh, I guess I'll never understand women and all their tests… can't they just be blunt?

"Tohru? I'm done um, saying what needed to be said. If you are listening could you-" I hear her voice as a tiny whisper among tens of thousands of voices as I focused on the spot as the foreshadowed narration had predicted.

I was in front of her through teleportation before she finished her sentence.

The thing about psychic powers was that it was dependent on the brain.

A Kryptonian brain that could easily handle at least Mach 2500 flight and actual battle speeds whilst augmented by the Adventurer's card and other skills?

(Psychic) Power Overwhelming!

Hence, the teleportation was an easy thing to do.

A slight smirk appears on my face.

"I'm always listening." I probably said something that was Twilight level of creepy.

"Somehow that's both comforting and uncomfortable to hear…" She drawled whilst holding back a laugh.

"Geez, if you want to laugh then just laugh already."

"Ah, but that would be unladylike of me."

"As if I care about any of that, if you don't want me to tell anyone about it then just say so. I'm hardly the one to judge on matter like that." I bluntly say.

In the end, she pulled me to her husband's grave, her expression becoming more somber and uncertain as time passed.

I didn't exactly know what to say to the man I barely knew.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to meet the Sekirei. So many of them have changed my life in many ways, and so many of them have become friends of mine. Thanks for being such an all-around great guy. And well, thanks for being a good husband too. I never had the chance and after seeing so many terrible marriages across the multiverse… yours was one of those that put a smile on my face after a bad day."

I said a whole bunch of stuff, occasionally joking about Miya's weird PMS'ing and her futile attempts to frighten me with the mask technique she learnt from him. Miya had a mix of smiles and annoyed expressions across the time I spent paying my respects to the dead.

Hmm, maybe I should pay my respects to the dead 776 Zelretch's that joined my full hardy attempt to kill a Multiversal Chaos God in the form of a man?

At some point Miya had gripped my hand hard while asking me a… serious question.

"Can you bring him back?" She asked desperately whilst avoiding my face, clearly sick from her Sekirei PMS.

What was I supposed to say? That this universe's laws will fight back against time travel? That I couldn't pick Takehito up from the moment of his death by Jinki lasers?

Revival?

"I'll do my best."

And I was gone.

And my best wasn't good enough.

I tried the powerful people that I could negotiate with.

Those overpowered Naruto's? My deeds came back to haunt me with their bullshit Sage Mode sensing negativity and they flat out refused me.

Master of Death Harry Potters? Nope, too emo and all too attached to the 'Death comes to everyone' thingy.

I tried Othinus, who was probably the only Magic God that was 'friendly' enough after what we did for her and Touma. Nope, she's had enough with reality warping and her modified Einherjar spell enhanced by Gungnir wouldn't give me the result I would want.

At least she baked me a cake for free.

Until Touma entered her bakery, tripped and slammed his face into my cake.

Well… Fukou Da!

Certain Touhou characters? Nope, no one trusted me there and treated me as if I was Yukari Yakumo except worse.

I bribed Aqua to at least try to help out.

"Whoo! There's no Goddesses here! Ah, I should become the world's sole goddess and get all the worship to myself!" I bonked Aqua on the head in front of Miya after she began being stupid again.

"Just do your best as we agreed upon."

"Spoilsport! Well, it's not like I can do anything. As a Goddess of Water in charge of Reincarnation I can tell that this world has no system of reincarnation. Spirits disintegrate, souls rarely ever linger and there's no afterlife in this universe. Any kind of resurrection isn't possible. Even speaking with the dead isn't possible. Time can be stopped but cannot be reversed or altered in a way that will change the present." Aqua professionally told me the facts.

Miya's reaction was something strange to me. It was a mix of sadness and… acceptance?

"Well, now that my job is done. Where's my copy of Sword Art Online? I always wanted to play VR games!" Aqua's eyes shined brightly, and I delivered on my promise.

I gave her the Nervgear, the copy of the game and the necessary gaming rig.

I never said anything about a server to play on, nor interdimensional internet connection.

I could see her curse me through the Kaleidoscope.

Our social link didn't reverse or anything, I guess she's the sort of forgiving sort. That, or she has the memory of a goldfish, but I doubt that since in another future she cared about Kazuma enough to have spent all her money to make a Japanese stall in a festival so that Kazuma won't feel homesick.

She can actually be a huge bro when you give her the chance.

I felt a little bad about it, so I sent her the servers and power generators to her realm after I let her despair for a few hours.

Glass cracked as our Social Link ranked up to 5.

"You're taking this better than expected. I thought you would have broken down crying or something." I tell Miya.

"Do not think of me as some weak girl! And…It wasn't about Takehito." She says the last part softly.

"Then what was it about? Confirmation that the dead couldn't be brought back?"

"No. It was confirmation that you would have did as I requested. That you cared enough to have done a good deed without hesitation."

I blush at her words, it wasn't like that, I swear! If it was some asshole at some random street I wouldn't have done it.

I told her exactly that, I did it because she was a friend.

A felt a brief spark of annoyance before she sighed and quashed that feeling.

Did she make it obvious or was it just me?

"It was totally all me!" Titania interrupted.

Not now! And that's blatant lies!

What? Are you going to tell me that all my lust originated from Incubus and Mara deep down in my Sea of Souls somewhere?

"All your lust originated from Incubus and Mara deep down in your Sea of Souls somewhere?" She repeated with maximum 'fake' levels in her tone of voice.

"I know that." Miya continued. "Even so… you're just as kind as him aren't you? In your own way."

"I'm not. The scales may be tipped on that end, but I've done plenty of cruel things as well." I deny whilst recalling my 'rational' genocide of Kryptonians. I had taking advantage of the moral myopia of having an entirely evil amoral society being doomed anyways to justify the 'Waste not, want no' excuse for cannibalism for powers.

And that's just one many other cruel acts that I've done for the 'Justice' and the 'Greater Good' back in my first life.

"Ah, but that's it isn't it? Humans… they're all so interesting. So complex… if you put your actions that way I suppose we can look at it in terms of colour. Too many people have a dark colour in this world, and those with lighter ones are… plain. On the other hand, the best way to describe your colour would be a bright Kaleidoscope."

She's getting very touchy and weird right now.

"Are you… rambling?" I asked her. Seriously, meaningless rambling is supposed to be my thing.

She laughed in response before calming down.

"I suppose I am. Ah where was I? What was this about in the first place? I suppose it had more to do with testing you. As well as… seeing for myself if taking a leap of faith would be worth it."

"Leap of Faith?" As in Assassin's Creed leap of faith? Is she considering suicide?

"This."

It was in slow-mo to me. But I can say I wasted my time watching and admiring her pretty face as she quickly placed her lips on mine.

Twelve bright wings of light emerged from her back as all my energy reserves were being drained and refilled immediately thanks to the Kaleidoscope.

Those wings blotted out my world.

The entirety of the sky in my direct line of sight was white.

"Why is it that you're never the one to kiss first?" Titania coyly commented on the fact that Yashima, Akitsu, Iris and now Miya had all kissed me first before I ever did anything to them.

Yeah, way to boost my masculinity…

As our lips eventually parted after exchanging saliva, I could only stand dumbfounded like a fool.

"Sorry. I never did have anything like a Norito or any sort of vow prepared." The purple haired woman looked down with a tinge of embarassment.

"Huh?" I eloquently conveyed my confusion.

"Then again I didn't think that far ahead. Oh, you'll…take care of me from now on, won't you?" She said while giving me those puppy dog eyes I was weak against whilst placing her body on my chest.

"Y-Yeah…yes, yes of course." I simply nod and agree.

Needless to say, we both felt a lot closer to one another.

We spent some time together after that.

Elsewhere…

A cute girl in a pink school uniform dropped the body she had in her hand. The only thing out of place would have been the sheathed Katana and the pile of bodies under her feet.

The body she dropped to the pile of beasts, robots, sorcerers, psychics and Kryptonians.

"659 skills used to kill these pests. Hmm, actually that's 660 skills since I used [Count Up] to count the number of skills used. Ah, my average skills used per Tier 7 enemies has decreased." The girl talked to herself as if narrating to an audience, explaining what had happened as if she lived in a manga.

Old habits die hard.

"Aha! I should celebrate! But…hmm, since my husband's here I should go find him and then celebrate! Yes, it's been quite a while hasn't it my dear Zelretch-kun? Now, what kind of man have you become?"

The Not-Equal smiled to herself before disposing of the bodies with some skills.

Wondering if the person she was seeking would thank her for her help.

Adachi's/ Zelretch's Social Link:

Fool: 2/10, Discovering one's Fate

Jester: 4/10, Aqua

Fortune: 8/10, Iris

Star: 5/10, Yu Narukami

Strength: 9/10, Yashima

Priestess: 9/10, Akitsu

Hierophant: 5/10, Ryotaro Dojima

Justice: 3/10, Nanako Dojima

Lovers: 9/10, Minako Arisato

Death: 8/10, Miya Asama

Emperor: 1/10, Hyoubu Kyousuke

Moon (Dormant): 5/10, Ajimu Najimi

Sun: 1/10, Chiho & Uzume