It's funny, the things you remember when you're dying, when you can see death open its cold but welcoming arms. They're silly things really, unimportant moments from your past that you thought you had left, long forgotten in the back of your mind. But suddenly as you face this…this thing, they're all you can think about.

"You make me very happy Miss. Sidle."

I smiled almost bashfully at the words and turned to look at him.

"Oh yeah, and why is that Mr. Grissom."

I looked in to his eyes and saw a moment of seriousness wash over them before he smiled widely at me and said "Because I love you, and because you're mine."

They're small memories mostly, memories that come in fragments, but you know where they belong. They're moments with friends and lifetimes with lovers, and they're all, at the moment, bittersweet.

"So what movie will it be tonight?"

The friendly voice rang through my empty apartment and filled me with a little warmth. I came out of the kitchen and into the living room where Nick was bent over looking at my DVD collection.

"I don't know, I don't mind watching this." I said jokingly, making Nick stand straight up, embarrassment spreading red across his face.

"How about the usual?" Nick finally asks, after an extended period of silence.

I sighed and nodded before I sat down on the couch. Once Nick had put the movie in he sat down next to me.

"He'll come around Sara…one day he will."

I sighed and looked at him with tired eyes "And what do I do until then?"

"Hang out with me and watch bad movies of course…you're my girl and whether Grissom is an ass or not, doesn't change that."

They're memories that break your heart, ones that make you think that maybe leaving won't be so bad after all. Memories you thought you had forgotten, buried deep somewhere where they could never be found. But here they are, and there you are and suddenly, you're confronting them. They're memories of friendships that you once had and then lost tragically. You try not to dwell on the bad times, but the times that they were there for you.

"Sara, are you going to be okay?"

I look to my friend trying to keep the hurt out of my eyes, but she's my friend and she knows. Catherine wasn't always my friend but as of late she's been there for me.

"Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?" I try to ask casually.

"Sara, Grissom just spent the night with Lady Heather, if I were you, I wouldn't be okay either."

"Who said I wasn't okay?"

"Sara, it's okay to be upset, its okay to hate him right now."

I sigh loudly and say "Good, because I do."

"Come on; let's go get something to drink."

I nod my head and follow her out of the locker room.

They're memories of funny moments, ones that make you laugh even now. Fond memories of practical pranks and bad jokes told at breakfast with your friends. They're the ones that make you think maybe you might want to try and hold on.

"Sara, come here!" Warrick whispers to me excitedly, gesturing with his hands that I should come to him quickly.

I crouch down and jog over to where he kneels in front of Grissom's office.

"Warrick, what are you doing, and why are you spying on Grissom?" I ask before I peer through the window that Warrick had just been looking through.

"Look?" He whispered through his stifled laughter.

I looked and all I saw was Gil Grissom sitting at his desk, working. "What am I looking at?" I asked not wanting to waste my time.

"Just wait for it." Warrick said almost giddily.

I waited and then I saw and so did Warrick. Grissom itched his neck, then his back, then his elbow, then his leg. He stood up and began to itch his whole body.

I stepped back from the window and looked down at Warrick who had broken out into fits of laughter. He grabbed my arm and pulled my down the hall, still laughing all the way.

"Warrick, what did you do?" I asked, wide eyed.

"I…I…I put itching powder in his…" He couldn't finish because of his uncontrollable laughter.

"You did what!" I asked, shocked almost beyond words.

After a few moments he managed to get himself under control and said "Well, some on has to teach him a lesson."

"What?" I asked, confused.

Warrick suddenly go serious and said "He messed with the wrong girl." Before he began to laugh again.

They're memories of better times, times when things were simpler. When life wasn't riddled with trivial trials and errors. When pain wasn't something that you always felt and happiness was always just a smile away. They're memories of friends who always stuck by your side, no matter what.

"Greg what are you doing?"

I watched as Greg rummaged through me refrigerator, cupboards, and then moving to the living room, CDs; pulling things out from everywhere as he went.

"We are going to celebrate." Greg said from the living room.

"Celebrate what?" I asked curious as to what momentous thing had passed that I had missed.

"Our friendship." He said mater-of-fact, as if it were the simplest thing ever.

"Why?" I asked still confused.

Greg walked into the kitchen and began to prepare the food he had gotten out. "Because…friendships aren't often celebrated, and they need to be…you're special Sara, I don't care what Grissom does…you are special and any man should consider himself more than lucky to call himself yours…so I'm celebrating our friendship and all we've over come."

And then they're the memories that pull out your heart strings and make you want to burst out into tears right there. They're the ones that no matter how hard you try, they'll always be with you. Day and night, night and day…they always there in your heart.

"Sara I love you with all my heart. I can't imagine spending a day without you in my life. You are amazing…beautiful, smart, caring, incredibly talented, I can only call myself so lucky as to be called yours. I love you with all my heart…I want to have kids with you, have grandkids with you, grow old with you, it sounds like a cliché but I do. Would you do me the immense honor of being my wife?"

I stood there stunned, in my pajamas, hair still wet from the shower, no make-up or anything. And here he was, after what I had just done, after all I had done…and here he was, asking me this incredible question I thought I would never hear uttered to me in my lifetime.

"Yes Mike, I would more than love to be your wife and have kids with you and grow old with you…I love you."

He smiled like a fool and he stood up from bended knee and took me into his arms. "I love you Sara…God help me I love you."

So here are these memories and here I am ready to die, I thought I could see Mike standing there. But I'm not cold as I was just moments before…I am warm…oh so warm. And I think I can hear a voice, a familiar voice, a lovingly tender voice saying "Sara, don't leave me…stay here, there are people here you need you, I need you, Sara please…I love you."


A/N So inspiration found me sooner than i thought it would and...TA DA!!! here it is. I hope you guys like it. I guess great things happen on snow days. Well, if i don't update before Christmas, Happy Holidays everyone! And thank you for all the reviews.