Me: Hello, I'm back…
Luke:
Who says
Who says you're not perfect
Who says you're not worth it
Who says you're the only one that's hurting
Trust me
That's the price of beauty
Who says you're not pretty
Who says you're not beautiful
Who says…
*awkward silence*
Annabeth (laughing): I didn't know you like Selena Gomez...
Luke (looking shocked): Who's Selena Gomez?
Annabeth: UGH THE SINGER OF THAT SONG YOU WERE SINGING!
Luke: Well, it's MY song now okay…so quit the talk about Selena Gomez
Annabeth (sounding a little annoying): Well Luke, I don't think you can just take someone else's song… There's all these copyright laws and stuff…
Luke: Like I care!
Who says… Who says I can't have her song… Who says?
*Everyone rolls eyes*
Grover: I like Adele…
Everyone else: OKAY…
Grover: I mean I really, really like her…
Annabeth: You mean you have a crush on Adele?
Grover: You could say that…
Me: Would anybody else like to break copyright laws or proclaim their secret crush?
Thalia: Ooo me!
Everyone else (a little too enthusiastic): Yes Thalia?
Thalia: Okay... it'll sound random but… Tintin…
Luke: AHAHHAH… YOU have a crush on TINTIN?
Thalia (giving Luke the evils): Yes so?
Luke: That's even more random than Grover having a crush on Adele…
Grover : HEY!
Luke: For Olympus' sake! He's a cartoon character!
Me: Okay on with the story before they start fighting… and Thalia it's okay to have crushes on cartoon characters! If it makes you feel any better, when I was younger I thought Danny Phantom was really handsome…
Everyone else: REALLY?
Me: Yeah….
Everyone else: OH MY GODS
Me: NO of course not! What do you think!
After everyone got over that Percy jumped in an oven and is still alive they thought about the rest of the evening.
"Presents!" yelled Nico, "We can finally open them!"
Kronos came in wagging a finger, "But we have to eat dinner first! You don't want to miss out on your hearty nutritious meal do you?"
"Come on! It's Christmas!" protested Nico, "YOU DON'T have nutritious meals!"
"Nico, Nico, Nico," Kronos said sadly, "You need hearty nutritious meals to grow up strong and fight big bad grandpa Titans who want to kill you!"
Kronos laughed merrily and when nobody joined in, his laughter died away and he smiled sheepishly,
"Shall we eat?"
Hermes piped up, "Those in favour raise your hand and say 'aye'!"
There was a chorus of 'ayes' and then an annoyed, "Only one hand please, Apollo!" followed but other than that, there was no sound other than the shuffling of feet as everyone piled onto the couches while Apollo brought up the rear floating on some apparent breeze. Artemis shot him a look of surprise…
"How do you do that?" she asked, "I want to be able to do that!"
Apollo looked surprised, he didn't even notice he was flying in the air and as he broke out of his trance he slammed into the ground on his face.
His nose got squashed in the process.
Artemis giggled, "I guess you're not as cool as me after all!" and she stepped over his groaning figure with a smug smile.
While most people were sitting on the couches, gathered around a heightened coffee table (extra large), Apollo was reclining between Nico and Annabeth.
He patted his stomach and smiled happily while Kronos brought out the roast turkey first. Everyone gave an appreciative gasp and Kronos beamed with joy. He chuckled happily and went back to get tray after tray of goodies.
There were steamed veges, there were winter salads with shepards pies and lovely fresh rolls and meringues drizzled with passion fruit syrup. And then there was the chocolate log filled with fluffy white cream. Apollo's lip began to tremble. Hermes drooled. Zeus stared in shock.
Then came mince pies and cheese with crackers and frozen sorbets and eggnogs in heart shaped cups.
And all everybody could do was gaze at Kronos in wonder. Is he trying to poison us with food we can't resist or is he trying to poison us with food we can't resist?
Well, thought Apollo, At least I can't die…
Kronos saw the puzzled expression on everyone's faces and added hastily, "Well… Tuck in!"
Annabeth looked at the god of medicine and prophecies, "Apollo, how good is your medical skills? Can you save us all if we were withering on the ground, dying of some mysterious poison?"
Apollo looked like a cornered animal, "Well…" he muttered, "I think my medical skills are up to scratch,"
Damn, he thought, I knew I should have read those medical journals sent to me when I first got the job as god of medicine.
"Well?" demanded Athena, "You're the god of prophecies, is Kronos trying to poison us?"
Apollo turned a shade of green. Damn, he thought, I knew I should have read those seeing the future handbooks sent to me when I accepted the job as god of prophecies as well…
"Hello?" Athena waved her hand in front of Apollo's eyes and he jerked back to reality.
He closed his eyes and tried to search for something that rhymed and had something to do with Kronos or food or poisioning…
Suddenly he opened his eyes and said, "You may eat the food," although while everyone tucked in he secretly took out a stash of medical journals on poisoning and read them by slipping them out under the table.
"What in Titan's name are you doing?" asked Zeus munching thoughtfully on a slice of chewy mozzarella,
"Texting," replied Apollo automatically,
"Oh," said Zeus, "I thought you were reading a secret stash of medical journals on poisoning…never mind!"
Apollo quickly started talking to Nico and Annabeth in a loud animated voice.
Zeus frowned, "Something's up but I can't quite put my finger on it…"
After a meal of endless stuffing food down mouths and sudden weird noises (that was Hermes suddenly chocking on his crispy pie crust and gagging), everyone decided they were full and changed to drinking eggnog instead.
Kronos did the honours of handing around the cups, "And a pink cup for you my dear Hades?"
Hades smiled and accepted the rosy pink cup with grace but started giving Kronos the evils whenever he passed him or whenever they made eye contact.
Everyone sipped their eggnog and this time the silence was not awkward.
Nico suddenly squealed, "Presents!"
This time Kronos just smiled... like he booby trapped them or something.
"Did you booby trap them?" asked Athena suspiciously,
Kronos looked hurt, "Why, I'd never!" he protested, throwing his hands up in the air in desperation, "I'm not the bad guy!"
"Ugh," broke in Percy, "who tried to take over Olympus?"
"And ate his kids?" added Poseidon.
"And double dipped twice when he thought nobody was watching..." put in Luke,
Kronos sighed in defeat, "Okay, I'm the bad guy, but I did not booby trap your presents!"
"Okay," shrugged Nico, "If you say so," and he started handing out the presents.
Everyone decided to believe Kronos when they saw their presents on their laps, everyone except the late comers who didn't participate in secret santa but they too watched eagerly to see what the others got.
"Where shall we begin?" asked Hermes excitedly eyeing the heavy lump wrapped in glittering gold with wonder.
"We should go in a circle," said Athena wisely, "Starting with Zeus!"
Zeus grumbled but was secretly pleased with the honour and tore open the package. He didn't care about opening them carefully... 'IT'S JUST WRAPPING PAPER!' he would tell Poseidon.
Zeus stared at his lap, "What the Hades?" he said, as a multitude of things cascaded out.
There was a bag with a dead goldfish floating on its belly-
"I must've shook it too much," muttered Hades,
and a bottle of ozone men's deodorant, the Clash of the Titans DVD and a set of opal cufflinks...
"What the Hades?" Zeus repeated, "OPAL cufflinks… Opals are for the ladies! And what is it with this dead goldfish?"
Poseidon raised one eyebrow and zapped it, the goldfish started swimming.
"Dead?" questioned Poseidon,
"Ugh...Well it was before…" muttered Zeus.
Everyone else stared expectantly around the room; finally Hades couldn't take it anymore, "It was me okay... I didn't know what to get him!"
Everyone made disgusted sounds.
Hades shyly handed Zeus a Christmas card with a snoozing Cerberus on it and the bottom read:
Dreaming of a white Christmas…
Zeus read the writing and frowned, Hermes read over his shoulder,
" Dear Zeus
I really have no idea what to get you but in case you were wondering I wanted to make myself clear on why I got you these things…
1. The goldfish.
Ever since the beginning I time, I thought you needed an easy to care for pet that you can call your own. I have Cerberus and I think he is just great, he really is the cutest and when annoying door to door salesmen come knocking, I can be sure he won't come back.
:D
2. The DVD.
I know you just love Sam Worthington.
3. The opal cufflinks.
I think they bring out your eyes and make you look more handsome…or something like that….
4. The deodorant.
Sometimes your armpits smell after a day of ruling Olympus and also brewing up some storms, I wanted to help you smell better.
From your loving brother,
Hades XOXO."
"Aww," sighed Poseidon, "How sweet!"
Hades grinned.
Zeus sulked and zapped Hades with 100 volts of electricity.
Hades started to fizz…
Zeus smiled, "And now your turn Percy!" he said with artificial sweetness.
Percy glanced sideways at Zeus and started tearing his purple tissue wrapping paper carefully, removing each bit of sellotape as if dismantling a bomb and as the fragile paper ripped a centimetre he let out an involuntary squeak of terror. It took about 20 mins for him to finally get it open. Zeus sat there gritting his teeth the whole way through, reading the blurb of the Clash of the Titans DVD loudly while Poseidon gave him the evils and constantly sat at the edge of his seat in case Percy tore the paper and blew up Camp Half Blood.
Inside was a T-Shirt, a baseball cap, some cool neon orange skateboard wheels and buried at the bottom a small bottle of pineapple flavoured surfboard wax.
Percy gingerly lifted the orange wheels out of their box as if it were a soul reaping Titan scythe and looked at them again and again.
Luke and Grover were already running their grubby little hands all over the T-shirt (L.A Dodgers) the cap (a skateboarding cap that cost Nico a fortune) and the bottle of wax.
"What do you need this for?" asked Grover shoving the yellow pineapple smelling bottle under Percy's nose, "If you don't want it, can I eat it?"
"Yes! YES!" screamed Percy, thinking about the skateboard wheels. This was what he had always wanted and now at last it is true!
Grover started to unscrew the lid. He dipped his fingers into the soft mousse. Yum. Percy looked now, "What are you doing?"
Grover froze, "What? You said I could eat it!"
Percy gave Grover The Look, it said if you don't stop eating my precious wax, I will stop giving you my aluminium soft drink cans.
Grover unhanded the bottle and sat back in his seat.
Nico, unlike his dad, included a card inside the present so nobody would ever know it was him. He didn't want everyone to know he was capable of being so awesome. It would ruin his rebel reputation.
Percy found the card and opened it up. He started reading it out loud, "NOOOO!" cried Nico.
He shrank back into his chair and plotted to nick his dad's helm of darkness.
"Dear Percy," read Percy as Nico pulled the edge of his Santa hat over his eyes, "I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Do you like your presents? I know you like to ride your skateboard so I got you these cool wheels I saw and I decided to give you clothes although it's the n.o 1 NO-NO in Luke's handbook. I hope you like the Dodgers (you are a New Yorker but hey…).
From,
Nico
P.S- I got you the wax because of the question I asked you years ago: 'If you are the son of Poseidon, does that mean you are good at surfing?"
P.P.S- Yeah I was annoying right?
Percy looked at Nico and he smiled gratefully, "Gosh Nico, this is the best Christmas present I have ever received! Thank you so much!"
Nico just folded his arms and said, "You're welcome."
Percy looked at Nico again, sitting there shrivelled up like a raisin and tried to make him laugh, "Yeah I remembered that time… I honestly have never tried but I guess I would be pro… you know after all, surfers are hot right? So it's an advantage!"
Poseidon rolled his eyes. Nico smiled faintly…
Kronos took out a tin of pop tarts. Homemade Kronos style pop tarts. YUMMY!
"Come on Nico," Kronos encouraged, "It's Christmas Eve. Here have a frosted vanilla poptart with strawberry filling!"
Nico perked up. "I love strawberry and vanilla!" he cried and Kronos glanced at the parents/gods and said, "Here at Kronos pop tarts we care about customer experience so if you aren't completely satisfied with our 100% real fruit, homemade pop tarts we will happily refund it!"
Nico picked up a pop tart, sipped his eggnog and pushed his hat on top of his head again.
Apollo's eyes grew wide." I love pop tarts!"
Kronos put the tin on his lap and said, "Later…"
Me: POP TARTS!
Nico: Yay, I love you for that!
Me: I am cool right?
Apollo: HMPH… Call yourself an author?
Me: Author of pop tart galore!
*Me and Nico hi-fives*
*Apollo scowls*
Luke: I feel another song coming…
Gover: ME TOO!
Luke and Grover: ADELE TIME!
Everyone else: OH NO!
Annabeth: Block your ears! Luke can't handle Adele!
Luke:
There's a fire starting in my heart,
reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark
*Cringe… Ears going to bleed*
Luke:
The scars of your love they remind me of us
They keep me thinking
*WOW. LUKE. WOW*
Grover:
We could've had it all…
*cringe…scarred for life*
Grover:
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat…
*OMGS. DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?*
Annabeth: Wow… where did you guys learn to do that?
*Luke and Grover smiles*
Luke and Grover: We didn't learn anything….
Annabeth: Favour for Apollo?
Luke: HEY! How did you know?
*Annabeth just smiles*
Luke: You'd better not tell anyone or else I'll tell the whole world that you had a secret crush on Phineas and Ferb when you were young…
Thalia(after eavesdropping): Don't worry, I have a crush on Tintin…
Annabeth: Yeah… But he's this cool journalist guy who's really nice… Phineas and Ferb are kids that have a triangle and rectangle for heads…
Percy (trying to help his girlfriend): Well I think they're cool…
