Dear Readers. It has been... months since the last update? I can't quite tell. It's been a long time, that's for sure. However, I can say that I did get some writing done. Thing is, none of it was good enough. I've recently been told I lost the spark. Well, I do think there is truth in that. Where has it gone? I wouldn't know. This oneshot is the most decent I could produce out of the many I've tried (was it ten?), yet it still feels a bit messy and jumpy. I'm quite sorry for that. And, God, I'm pouring my heart in an author note. xDDDD

Without further delay, ladies and gentleman...


Remote Control-

It was a real wonder to find out Atobe Keigo lacked anything. In fact, when he adamantly explained the trouble he had to go through every time the remote control got lost by his uncaring boyfriend, people stared at him blankly and sighed.

"Oh, Atobe."

They all thought he complained for the sake of complaining and dismissed his whining with a 'there's a genocide in Darfur right now and small children are starving'.

Atobe thinks he should send those children bread and water so people would stop telling him that and actually care about his crucial problems.

--

"Ryoma, pass the remote."

Atobe sat cosily in his velvet couch, legs spread on a pouch, inches away from sleep. The fact that the on-going movie bored him to no end didn't help in any way. He had tried to like it, though. Sadly, no emotional nerve vibrated within himself as the hero works hard to prove himself to the world. Firstly, that character should get a good, professional haircut. Perhaps then he'd feel sympathy for the guy. But one couldn't walk around with that disaster on the head and wonder why he always got rejected.

On the other side of the room, Atobe realized, Echizen Ryoma watched the screen, wholeheartedly following the fictional adventures of Zaza Kuko. What a silly name too. The diva sneered, irritated when his query found no answer.

"Ore-sama demands that you kindly give the remote."

"I'm watching," Ryoma snapped impatiently, groaning for emphasis. True enough, his eyes were practically glued to the huge television. No spare glance at his host. Atobe felt himself becoming more awake as anger filled him.

"You're crashing at my house, ungrateful brat!"

"You invited me." The smaller one gazed up without much interest. "Sit down, you're missing it."

No one ever commanded an Atobe around. Fuming, the wealthy heir defiantly moved so to stand in front of Ryoma, thus blocking the view. "I give the orders. Not you."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow, unsurprisingly silent, then shrugged. His face remained stoic, unreadable, albeit annoyance threatened to slip in. "It ends soon."

"It ends now," Atobe corrected, no compromise in his voice. "He lived happily ever after. La fin."

Ultimately, an Atobe gets what he wants. It's a rule of the world, it's written in the stars, Fate dictated it.

"No," protested the stubborn thing, bringing his legs up close and glaring up at the persistent drama queen. "It ends in a couple of minutes when Kari-ko finds his letter and runs back to him, tears running down and vows of eternal love ready to be spilled. And then a train hits the main character. And then it ends."

'And then it ends'. Atobe could only stare. As his expression stayed frozen, the words echoed strangely. The first thing he could think of was how utterly crappy the ending was. Soon, that thought was followed by 'Ryoma has seen it already.'

'I just lost two hours of my valuable time' came rushing almost immediately. None of them satisfied him in the slightest. Until Ryoma got up and stretched lazily, felinely.

"I'll turn it off."

--

"But then he lost the stupid thing. Can you believe it?" Atobe's voice bit aggressively his interlocutors before they could manage to place a word in. "Just when we could skip to more serious, adult things!"

"None of you are adults yet."

"Rubbish! The thing is, if the brat didn't lose the remote control so often, we might get more sex-"

"You do realize children are starving in Africa?"

Atobe smirks, a smug chuckle escaping his lips. "I know. In fact, I sent them one of my personal planes full of bread and other food that won't spoil."

Everyone stared at him, incredulous. Atobe used the silence to resume his ranting about how easy it was to lose a remote control and how it destroyed an evening.

Genocides were so overrated.


Do I deserve a review for this? With a please, would it work? (I bolded the word review. That speaks of pathetic. xD)

PS: I've been starting a multi-chapter AtoRyo called "Something like Royalty". It's cliché, Ryoma is OOC. I'm scared someone will scold me for even thinking of advertising it. But, the thing is, I quite like to write it. So yeah.

PPS: Me seriously think that 'The Adventures of Zaza Kuko' would be a great movie.