Okay, I am so, so sorry. I have been gone for over a month. A mean case of writer's block... :( Anyway, hope you like this chapter. Thanks so much to everyone who has supported this story so far. You're all incredible, love you!
Time seems to stop, but the train doesn't. The wind whistles through the compartment as everyone is seized by a sudden flurry of movement. Tobias' right hand pulls out the gun from his belt while his left arm tightens its hold around my waist. Zeke jumps to his feet, raising his gun; out of the corner of my eye, I see Peter mimic him. Christina's coffee-colored skin is pale from blood loss; she tries to push herself up nevertheless. Uriah puts a calming hand on her, restraining her, and points the gun at the occupants on the other side of the carriage from his crouching position. Cara stares at the scene with wide eyes, helpless. I tighten my hold around my gun as well, but I know all too well that this is of no use.
They are too many. And they are doubtlessly armed. Everyone is still; no one moves. The train rushes on.
A factionless man with untidy whiskers points a gun at Tobias. Next to him, an older factionless woman holds a knife—the kind I used to cut bread with. Behind him, someone else holds a large plank of wood with a nail sticking out of it. Familiar sights, but unnerving still.
"Now this is a queer bunch," the woman says. Her voice is rough. Her eyes linger on Cara, before drifting to Peter. "A Nose and a traitor with a group of Dauntless. Did you lot switch sides too?" They are very well informed about everything.
"I'd disagree on that," a voice sounds from the second row of factionless. Someone pushes through the factionless up front. "These two in particular are as Dauntless as can be." The person comes into view. At first, I don't recognize him – he is messier and dirtier, his hair longer than before. The mixed clothing strikes the eye the most – a black T-shirt with a torn Abnegation jacket over it, blue jeans mended with red thread, brown boots – or that perhaps, at some level in my subconscious, I had prepared myself for the eyepatch which is now absent. Both eyes, functioning perfectly, stare at me, assessing.
"Hello, Tris," Edward says. He holds a gun.
"Edward," I say warily, unsure whether he is trustworthy this time or not. His gun, pointed at us, does not help.
Edward looks like he is about to say something, but then his eyes slide over to Peter standing by the wall, and before anyone can react, he launches himself with a feral snarl towards the Candor boy. The gun presses against Peter's throat; he makes a feeble choking sound, his green eyes wide. As soon as we recover from the shock, Tobias and Zeke grab Edward, trying to pull him back. The factionless close in, their weapons raised. I point my gun at them, indecisive.
"Let me – go!" Edward growls, making attempts to reach at Peter, who shrinks back as much as possible. "You – cowardly –"
"You provoked me!" Peter shouts. A malicious grin crosses Edward's face.
"It was a challenge which I won," he sneers. "But you –" He grapples with the gun, struggling under Tobias and Zeke's grip; the factionless stand ready, prepared to strike if Edward is threatened.
"Let go of the boy!" the whiskered man growls.
"Tell him – to back off!" Peter wheezes.
Suddenly, another figure rushes out from the back of the crowd of factionless, dislodging itself with much more difficulty than Edward had. In a blur of long hair, it flings itself upon Edward.
"Edward", the girl screams. "Edward, stop!" Tobias and Zeke step back in shock.
"Let go, Myra," Edward growls.
"Stop this, Edward," Myra – I recognize her now, though her dress is dusty and old – says, pulling him back. "He isn't worth it."
Breaking deeply, Edward stops struggling and takes a step back, Myra's arms still around him. "Thank her for your life," he tells Peter. "If she hadn't been so softhearted –" He leaves the threat hanging, making it sound so much worse. A tense silence falls, the factionless eyeing us appraisingly.
"Well, whatever you are," the woman with the knife says, looking at us, "you're not welcome here. You'll have to get off this train if you want to stay alive."
"With pleasure," Peter mumbles, sidling away from Edward.
"No!" I say. All eyes suddenly turn to me.
"We are running from the Erudite," I continue. "If we get off, it will be easier for them to find us. Also, our friend is wounded; she cannot go on. She needs medical attention. So, we would appreciate it if you let us ride with you till Dauntless." I suppress a shiver as I find a voice all too similar to Caleb in its cool logic and tone speaking through me.
"Yeah?" Edward says with his head tilted, eyes cold. "And what have you ever done for us?"
"I saved you," I say with eyebrows raised. "And the decision to leave was yours; don't ty to act like we forced you out."
Edward ignores my last comment. "You, yes, I know. I would not mind returning the favor. But the others?" He shakes his head. "Not so much. And under no circumstances am I helping him." He throws a venomous glare at Peter. The seconds pass in tense silence. On the floor, Christina is pale, still bleeding through the jacket that Uriah put over her to cover her wound. Despite the fact that Peter got me and Cara out of Erudite, I can't help resent his presence; if he weren't here, Edward's debt to me would be enough to ensure us a safe trip to Dauntless.
"You heard him," the whiskered man says. "Now get out."
"Wait." The voice comes from the side – from the woman standing two spaces from the man who had spoken. She takes a step forward, making the light fall on her face – a severe looking woman with a lazy eye. I recognize her as Therese, Evelyn's right-hand woman, her features sharp and rough. "You," she says, her dark eyes set on Tobias, "step forward."
His face carefully expressionless, Tobias complies. His shoulders are stiff, his gun still raised.
"You'd want to put that gun down," a woman says, but Therese shushes her.
"You are him," she says. "Aren't you? You look so much like her."
"Him?" Edward questions. Therese begins to say something, but Tobias cuts her off. Something resolute burns in the depth of his dark blue eyes. He holds his head high, taking a step forward so that his throat presses against the gun in the whiskered man's hand. He looks the very personification of power and confidence, but I know him well enough to see that he is bracing himself for something difficult.
"Yes, my name is Tobias Eaton," Tobias says. "So I don't think you want to push me off this train."
The effect of the name on the people in the car is immediate and would have been bewildering had I not known the cause: they lower their weapons. They exchange meaningful looks.
"Eaton? Really?" Edward says, eyebrows raised. Myra, standing at his side, looks equally shocked. "I have to admit, I did not see that coming." He clears his throat. "Fine, you can come. But when we get to the city, you've got to come with us."
Then he smiles a little. "We know someone who's been looking for you, Tobias Eaton."
-o0o-
Tobias and I sit with our legs hanging out of the carriage as the train rumbles on. Occasionally, I look at Christina to check if she is doing okay. The wind beats against my bare shoulder – I discarded my jacket after tearing a large piece off it for Cara to tie a sort of bandage to stem the bleeding from Christina's wound.
"You didn't have to do that," I tell him quietly. "Give away your name, I mean."
Tobias shakes his head. "It was the only way to stop them from kicking us out. Besides, it wasn't like I had much choice. Therese had essentially recognized me." He stares out into the distance. "I'm surprised that she came on a raid. She is one of Evelyn's right-hand folk; she usually stays with her."
I put my hand over his. "That was a brave thing to do, revealing your secret in front of people who matter." The first time around, there had only Susan, who didn't matter to Tobias, and Caleb and me, who already knew his true identity. It is a much bigger deal for him this time.
He shifts his hand, lacing our fingers together. "It's good that you know everything already. If you hadn't," he sighs. "I would have a lot to tell you."
I think back to all the mistakes I have avoided this time; I think of Will and how the guilt of killing him had formed a wall between Tobias and me. "Yes," I mumble. "I would too. But there are others who'll want an explanation." I look at the others, who are looking at Tobias curiously every few minutes, and especially at Zeke, whose eyes have never once strayed from Tobias. Curiosity simmers in his eyes, and some hurt. Well, no wonder. If I had suddenly found out that someone I cared about had kept such big secrets from me, I would have been angry too. I think back to how our secrets had practically ripped Tobias and me apart. Yes, I certainly would have. I was.
Tobias turns his head at my words, and then quickly turns back, his eyes locking with Zeke's a little longer than the others.
"Yes," he sighs, burying his face in his hands, "I think you are right."
I don't know how much time passes before they tell us to get off. But when they do, we are in the part of the city where the factionless live, about a mile from where I grew up. I recognize each building we pass as one I walked by every time I missed the bus home from school. The one with the broken bricks. The one with a fallen streetlight leaning against it. Each one brewing double memories and an intense and aching feeling in my chest.
We stand up, forming lines near the door. I shift to Christina's side, placing my hand on her waist. The intimacy still feels strange to my Abnegation upbringing, but I ignore it. On her other side, Uriah holds her good shoulder to support her.
"I'm – I'm not sure if I can –" Christina says faintly.
"We did it together the first time we came to Dauntless, remember?" I say in what I hope is an encouraging tone. "We'll do it again. Together."
"It will be fine, Christina," Uriah says. "We'll help you. Just lean on us, okay? We will jump at three."
"One, two –" I begin.
"Three!" Uriah yells, and arms linked, we jump. Our height and weight distribution is uneven – I am too slightly built and Uriah too tall, and Christina in between, but all of us manage to land on our feet. Christina bites her teeth to muffle the scream which threatens to leaves her as her body takes the impact with the ground hard. She sinks to the ground on her knees after stumbling forward a few steps, but then, with an effort that causes sweat beads to line her brow, she gets back on her feet. It is at times like this that I wish that the train would actually stop.
The others jump after us, all on their feet – Tobias holding Cara's hand to support her, which, despite myself, sends a wave of jealousy through me.
I let Uriah support Christina, who walks, though painfully, on her own, falling into step with Tobias.
"I never asked," he says, his gorgeous blue eyes locked with mine, "How are you? Did they hurt you?" His expression turns bitter, menacing even, and he looks at his shoes. "Any more, that is. I…" he trails off, but I know that he is thinking of the time Jeanine injected me with the fear serum.
I shrug. "I'm okay. Just had a little difficulty discerning the real from simulation at first. How about you?" I touch the cut on his face, moving to the thin white scar running from his forehead all the way to his cheek. There is a cut near his ear, and bruises. "You're hurt."
He shakes his head a little, but lets my hand be. "It's nothing."
I look at Edward, who has come astride of us. "I want Christina seen to as soon as we reach wherever we are going," I say.
"I don't think you are in a position to make demands here, Tris," Edward says neutrally.
I glower at him, about to retort, when Myra runs up to him. "Don't be harsh, Edward," she chastises. "I wouldn't want anyone to die on us."
"Remember where we are, Myra," Edward warns. "We owe them nothing." And he stalks off.
"I'm sorry about him. He –" she looks around at the band of factionless surrounding us, and seems to only just remember their presence. "I'll talk about him later," she says in a low voice. "It's true, then? You really are Tobias Eaton?" she says a little louder, almost conversationally.
"Yes," Tobias replies a little roughly.
"Wow. I'd never thought you were ever anything but Dauntless," Myra says with a small smile. Tobias doesn't reply, but his cheeks stain a slight pink. "I'll see you around." She looks at me. "Don't worry, Tris, I will take care of Christina," she assures.
"Thank you," I say with a nod and a smile. She nods back, and hurries ahead.
"You have your gun?" Tobias murmurs, too quietly for anyone else to catch. I nod, surreptitiously touching my belt, my fingers grazing against the cold metal of the gun that Zeke gave me.
The factionless lead us down the street and left into a grimy alleyway that stinks of garbage, familiar to me from my last visit. Little squeaks and scampering noises indicate rats, whose tails sometimes catch the eye, slipping between mounds of waste, empty trash cans, soggy cardboard boxes. The smell of rotting food and garbage is nauseating.
Edward stops next to one of the crumbling brick buildings and forces a steel door open. The grimy windows allow very little light to pass through; I take a second to appreciate the sheer level of deprivation that the factionless are subjected to. The terror I once had of becoming factionless almost starts to make perfect sense again.
The room we are led into is full of people – people sitting next to rolls of bedding, people prying open cans of food, people sipping bottles of water, and factionless children, weaving between the groups of adults, not confined to a particular color of clothing – but they are not as numerous I had once seen. The normalcy, the feeling of a community and family, that exists between these people does not surprise me anymore. The lack in number does. What went differently this time?
"Come on," Therese says, beckoning us. "She's back here."
"What's going on here? Why are you all together like this?" Cara is the first to voice the question I had once asked. "I – I had thought that the factionless were outcasts of the society."
"Hubris," Edward says over his shoulder with a bitter smirk. "I was deluded the same way once. You thought they—we—were all split up."
"Well, they were, for a while," Myra interjects, half turning. "Too hungry to do much of anything except look for food. But then the Stiffs started giving them food, clothes, tools, everything. And they got stronger, and waited. They were like that when we found them, and they welcomed us."
We move deeper and deeper into the building, towards stairs and silence. My stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought of seeing Evelyn. I can't help remember the taunt I had sent before initiation to her through the factionless man, even though it is of no consequence.
"Wait, you said they were waiting?" says Peter, and it is only then that I remember that he is with us. "What were they waiting for, exactly?"
"You'd like to know, wouldn't you, you little coward?" Edward sneers, making Peter take a step back. "For the world to fall apart," Edward says after a pause. "It almost did." He gives Tobias and me a keen look, and taking Myra's hand, turns away and leaves.
"The Erudite attack," Uriah says harshly. "That's what you were waiting for, right?"
"Or something similar," Therese says. "Enough to shake the central power. Everything would have worked, if not for you two." She looks at Tobias and me coldly. Tobias purses his lips.
"It makes me prouder of what we did," Tobias murmurs, his lips barely moving. I manage a slight smile in return.
"Come on up," Therese says, leading us up a flight of stairs. Cobwebs hang at every corner. The wood creaks under our feet on each step.
"Who is this person we are meeting, Tobias?" Zeke says with some coldness in his voice, coming up behind us. Tobias winces.
"Not now, please Zeke," he says. Zeke purses his lips and nods. Tobias' Adam's apple bobs in his throat; he spins a loose thread from his shirt around his finger again and again.
Therese stops at a metal door and pounds on it with her fist.
"It's Therese," she yells. "I want to see Evelyn. Tell her I have guests."
A man opens the door, eyeing us warily.
"Tell her we have Tobias," Therese says. The man looks at us for a long moment, his gaze lingering prominently on Tobias. "Looks like you do indeed." He grins at Tobias. "Come to join us, little prince?" Tobias scowls and says nothing. "Hold on," says the factionless man to Therese, and shuts the door.
A pregnant pause follows. Tobias keeps his gaze fixed on a spot on the door. Tentatively, I lace my fingers between his. He looks at me, startled out of his reverie.
"It will be okay," I whisper. "We are in this together." He gulps, his fingers shaking a little in my grip, but nods anyway, his gaze hard.
The door opens, and we are ushered inside. And there, through the maze of metal, at the back of the room where several bulbs dangle from the ceiling over a table, I face Evelyn Johnson for the first time in my second life. The light from the bulbs falls sharply on her face, accentuating the hooked nose and the strong jaw which Tobias has inherited. Her dark eyes look like bottomless abysses as she turns towards us.
"Evelyn," Tobias says, his voice shaking a little.
"Hello." She walks around the table, surveying him. "You look older."
"I think we can just stop going through this little game of yours every time we meet." Tobias' voice is cold. He just admitted to having seen her already, more than once, and in recent times. I wonder what Uriah, and especially Zeke are thinking.
"I am trying, Tobias," Evelyn says quietly, her voice strained. "At least one of us is."
"All of this started because you didn't try enough in the first place," Tobias says, his tone reeking bitterness. Evelyn's mouth turns downwards.
"Well– I –" She sighs, and then with a visible effort, smiles. "So you've finally come—"
"Not for the reason you think," he interrupts her. "We were running from Erudite, and were headed back to Dauntless, and your band happened to be on the train. Our friend was injured, and the only chance of escape we had required me to tell your poorly armed lackeys my name."
"I see." Evelyn's smile remains, but her eyes turn cold. "Introduce me to your fellow refugees, then."
Her eyes drift down to our joined hands. Tobias' fingers twitch like he is about to pull his hand away, but then he only tightens his hold on my hand.
"This is Tris Prior," he says, gesturing to me with his other hand. After a beat, he adds, "My girlfriend." To anyone, it would appear a common introduction, but Tobias' chin jerks upwards just a little; he straightens up a little more, his aura of power increasing. Evelyn's lips press together, but she says nothing.
"Zeke, my best friend," Tobias continues, "Uriah, his brother. Cara, Erudite. Peter and Christina, who had been my Dauntless initiates. And I want Christina attended to at once."
"We are in no way responsible for your friends' conditions," says Evelyn.
"Myra promised to treat Christina. I don't think you have a problem with that?" I interrupt. Evelyn looks at me for a long moment.
Evelyn gives Tobias a look. "Interesting friends you have made," she says. She looks at me distastefully. "Very well, one of you lead her out." Uriah helps her out. Zeke gives Tobias a look and leaves. I have a feeling that Tobias will have to talk to him soon. Peter looks indecisive, but then the door suddenly, opens, revealing Edward, and he leaves hastily. Now it's only Tobias, me and Cara with the factionless in the boiler room.
"Those are population counts?" says Cara. She has been quiet so far, but her eyes reflect open curiosity. Her silence has been dedicated to acquiring information. "And … what? Factionless safe houses?"
"That's a lot of questions," says Evelyn, arching an eyebrow. "For security purposes, I will not answer any of them. Anyway, it is time for dinner."
She gestures toward the door. Cara looks dissatisfied, but walks away from us, so it's Tobias, Evelyn and me in the end. I walk ahead, Tobias and Evelyn after me. We work our way through the maze of machinery again.
"I'm not stupid," she says in a low voice. "I know you want nothing to do with me—though I still don't quite understand why—" Tobias snorts.
"But," she says, "I will extend my invitation again. We could use your help here, and I know you are like-minded about the faction system—"
"Evelyn," Tobias says. "I chose Dauntless."
"Choices can be made again."
"What makes you think I'm interested in spending time anywhere near you?" he demands. I hear his footsteps stop, and slow down so I can hear how she responds.
"Because I'm your mother," she says, and her voice almost breaks over the words, uncharacteristically vulnerable. "Because you're my son."
"You really don't get it," he says. "You don't have the vaguest conception of what you've done to me." He sounds breathless. "I don't want to join up with your little band of factionless. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."
"My little band of factionless is twice the size of Dauntless," says Evelyn. "You would do well to take it seriously. Its actions may determine the future of this city."
With that, she walks ahead of Tobias, ahead of me. I am about to follow when Tobias stops me. His eyebrows are lowered, expression grim.
"There isn't much scope of privacy here in factionless," he says quietly. He slumps against the wall. "What happened in Erudite? What does Jeanine want?"
I follow his stance, leaning against the opposite wall.
"She didn't believe the story you told her, at least she didn't later. She wanted to find out the truth about how we stopped the simulation, and how my Divergent brain works."
Tobias nods, his brow furrowed. "Did she find out?"
I feel a leaden weight settle in my heart. "She conducted experiments on me, and simulations. She knows a fair amount about the Divergent now; it will be easier for her to prepare a serum to control even the Divergent."
Tobias' expression darkens; he nods in silence.
"What about the simulation? Did she find out how much you know?"
I shake my head. "She tried, but couldn't get through. Almost did, though." I shudder. At Tobias' curious look, I say, "She had arranged for the truth serum from Candor. She was planning on using it on me tomorrow."
"What?" Tobias' eyes widen. "She's got Jack Kang under her thumb?"
I nod, biting my lip. "If – if Zeke hadn't got me out in time… I – she would have found out everything." The proper realization of just closely I escaped runs down like a storm through me, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
"You could have resisted the serum," Tobias consoles. "You know you can."
I shake my head. "I couldn't have kept all my secrets. It's a lot to hide, and too tough to manage under the truth serum. One way or the other, she would have found out that I am from the future." I can't control myself anymore; my whole body starts shaking. For a second, the world seems to crumbling all around me for no reason at all, and then Tobias' strong arms are around me, pulling me close, his warmth enveloping me. The steady rise and fall of his chest strengthens me as he embraces me in silence, his hand rubbing slow circles against my back. We stand in silence for a long time like that, then he kisses me softly on the forehead.
"It's all right," he says quietly against my skin, "It didn't happen. We are fine. You are fine."
"Yes," I whisper. "Yes." And I know that his presence is assuredly the greatest blessing in my life.
"Come on," he murmurs. "Everyone will be wondering where we went."
-o0o-
One of the factionless started a fire so we could heat up our food. Those who want to eat sit in a circle around the large metal bowl that contains the fire, first heating the cans, then passing out spoons and forks, then passing cans around so everyone can have a bite of everything. Perhaps it is because I have been through worse, but the lack of hygiene in the surrounding and the food available does not bother me anymore.
Edward drops to the ground next to me and takes the can of soup from my hands.
"So what had you in that little tiff with the Erudite?" he asks.
"My friend Cara was in danger," I say shortly.
"So you take off for a rescue mission," Edward remarks, and makes a clicking noise with his tongue. "Your Abnegation's showing. Selflessness and bravery when together form a dangerous cocktail. Usually called foolishness."
"You sound like a Candor," I say irritably. "Mind keeping your judgments to yourself?"
Therese leans over. "He was Erudite first, actually. Not Candor."
"Yeah, I know," I say, "I—"
She interrupts me. "So was I. Had to leave, though."
I nod, not encouraging further conversation with her. After my first encounter with them, I am yet to feel friendly towards the factionless.
"And in case you forgot," I look at Edward, "my 'cocktail of selflessness and bravery' was what saved you."
"I know." Edward glowers at his can of beans. His gaze drifts to Peter, sitting far away from us, and his expression turns fiercer. "Why do you have that little scumbag around anyway?"
"Twist of fate," I say. "We didn't ask him to be around."
"If it makes you feel any better, he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack," Tobias says from my other side, speaking from the first time since dinner began. He has been devoting most of the time to staring at the fire. I cannot quite gauge his mood.
And of course it does seem to make Edward feel better, because his smirk carves a deeper line into his face.
"Who did that?" he says. "You?"
Tobias shakes his head. "Tris did."
"Well done," Edward says.
I nod, feeling a little sick at the memory of everything that happened then. I refrain from adding that Peter and I worked together for a very brief while then, and that it is because of him that I am sitting here instead of spewing my secrets to Jeanine.
After dinner, Tobias walks off to get us sleeping pallets and blankets, while I wander away. I almost bump into Christina near the staircase. Her shoulder is swathed in layers of bandage. She appears to be in a better shape.
"Hey," I smile. "How are you?"
"Better," she smiles back.
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah. Myra brought me food where I was, in some basement storeroom or something, I guess." Christina looks around, and whispers, "Just thinking how many germs there were in that soup…" She shudders and grimaces. "I'm glad I wasn't cut." I am tempted to mention that even being a member, your end at Dauntless either comes in factionless or death, but I keep my mouth shut. Just then, Myra pops her head round a doorway and comes over to us.
"Hello. All good?" At Christina's amiable nod, she turns to me. "I told you I'd take care of her," she says with a smile.
"Yeah, thank you so much," I say.
"It was a nasty one. Stung like hell," Christina says, making a face, but grins as well. "Tris," her expression sobers, "there's something we need to talk about."
I frown, but nod. "I'm coming." Christina nods and slips away. Myra turns to go away in the other direction, but struck by a sudden thought, I stop her.
"Myra," I say, "can you and Edward talk to me alone, any time you like? I have something to discuss."
Myra looks puzzled, but nods. "All right."
"Fine, then. I'll see you." I nod at her and leave to find Christina.
Christina is waiting with Uriah, Zeke and Cara at the door.
"We were thinking about leaving," Christina says.
"Leaving?" I echo, and then wonder why the thought hadn't crossed me before.
"We left yesterday before dawn, Tris," Uriah says grimly. "It has been two whole days since we've been gone. Everyone will be worried."
"Two days," I repeat. It is difficult to believe that everything that happened to me has been in two days. It seems like an eternity. On the other hand, when I think of Will and Marlene, it is painful to think that they have gone without news of us for two days. Uriah is right; we should get back.
"The facilities in Dauntless are better," Uriah continues. "I know they patched Christina up, but I'd still like Helena to see to her. I don't trust these people."
"I don't think we should, either," Cara murmurs.
"I don't see what we are doing here anyway," Zeke says. "The only person Evelyn Eaton seems to want is Four. If he's done, we can just as well leave right away."
I nod, about to say something, when I forget my words at the sight that catches my eyes. Tobias and Evelyn are talking, standing close together at a corner, Tobias holding several sleeping bags in his arms. Even as I watch, Evelyn puts her hand on Tobias' arm. While Tobias doesn't look too warm towards her, he doesn't shake it off either. My heart sinks.
"Well, there seems a small problem," I say, clearing my throat. "Four doesn't seem really ready to leave."
Everyone's eyes follow my gaze. Zeke's expression falls, but he looks more towards sad this time than angry. Christina's shoulders slump.
"I'm really worried about Will," she says quietly.
"Hey, we will get back right away," Uriah consoles her.
Christina laughs a little bitterly. "I was a Candor, Uri. Consolations don't work on me."
"Listen," I say, "I think you should leave anyway, tonight. You are right; we are wasting time here. I will talk to Tobias about your plan; if he wants to leave, we will all leave together. If not, Tobias and I will return tomorrow."
Zeke nods. "That seems good. Will you be okay?"
"I'll be with Tobias," I say. "You all leave with Cara. Will must be worried about her."
Tobias is laying the sleeping pallets down for us in a corner when I reach him. He smiles at me a little, his eyes almost as dark as his mother's in the lack of light.
"Ready for sleep?" he says.
"Our friends are planning to leave," I say.
Surprise makes his eyes widen. "They are? It's late."
"Our friends in Dauntless will be worried. They have been without news for two days."
He nods, his blue eyes inscrutable. "Will you stay the night?"
"I –" A leaden weight settles in my stomach. "Only if you stay."
Tobias nods again. "Here." He offers me a pallet and a blanket. "We should find ourselves a corner. It can get really crowded here."
I turn away to hide my disappointment. What just happened? I want to get out of here as quickly as possible. Wasn't that what he had said to Evelyn? Then why didn't he decide to leave with everyone else?
Tobias and I see our friends to the tracks along with Edward. Then near the flickering firelight, I find ourselves a corner among the factionless. When he bends over to untie his shoes, I see the symbol of Amity on the small of his back, the branches curling over his spine. His decision to stay in factionless when we could have left continues to baffle and frustrate me, but I can't stop the dull ache in my heart as I look at him, or the sudden rush of adrenaline running through my veins. When he straightens, I step across the blankets and put my arms around him, brushing the tattoo with my fingers.
Tobias closes his eyes. Disregarding anyone who might see us in the faint light of the dying fire, I slip my hand under his shirt, running my fingers up and down his back. I feel the tough muscles tightening and relaxing, and the rough touch of the long scars on his back. Tobias' arms snake around my waist; he kisses the side of my head as I listen to his steady heartbeat, his breaths heavy against against my cheek.
"I wish we were alone," he says.
I smile at him a little. "I almost always wish that," I say.
I fall asleep with his arm lazily draped over me, our blankets overlapping a little to offer us closeness. It is in times like these that I don't mind that my build us small, birdlike, as if just made for taking flight. His closeness feels like safety; it feels like home. And with our hands, both calloused — bearing the roughness of war, intertwined, I let myself forget where we are, and what tomorrow might bring. I fall asleep to distant conversation and Tobias' slow breathing, softly tracing the thin scar that runs down his forehead. As my eyes close, I feel my hand being moved and his lips touch my fingers, softly, just a little.
-o0o-
I wake up when the fire is out, and the embers glow softly, shadows heavy on the walls. There are dark shapes on the floor all around me — factionless sleeping under the thin, dirty blankets. Only a few are still up, talking quietly. But the space beside me where Tobias had been is cold. Panic swamps me momentarily, but then I calm down with some effort, telling myself that he must be around. Confusion follows; where did he go?
I raise myself to my elbows and look around, but find no sign of Tobias. Only a few factionless whom I don't know meet the eye. Frowning, I sit up. Where on earth did he go?
I rise to my feet and pad away from the corner which the two of us had occupied. My bare feet make no sound. The factionless sitting around, their faces half hidden in shadows, pay no attention to me.
It is when that I near one of the darkest corners of the storehouse, almost completely separated from the area where everyone is sleeping by a cracked, sour cream colored wall, that I hear voices. One male, one female. Tobias and Evelyn. I see Evelyn's shadow, faint against the almost nonexistent glow of the fire — strong and lean, like Tobias. I know that I should step back, that it is evidently the need for privacy that drew them here, but curiosity gets the better of me.
"Don't play games with me," I hear Tobias say. "I know exactly what you plan to do. And I won't be helping you even a bit. Not ever."
"You disappoint me, Tobias," Evelyn says. "I —"
"Like you didn't," Tobias mutters bitterly.
"I had thought you of all people would understand," Evelyn continues, ignoring Tobias'comment.
"Why do you even think I'll ever help you?"
"Because you're my son," Evelyn sounds like she is pleading now.
"I —"
"Also because you of all people would know why I am doing this," Evelyn continues quickly. "You understand more than everyone the shortcomings of the faction system. You have seen the hypocrisy of Abnegation. You have seen the cruelty of Dauntless. The monstrosity of Erudite. You know, Tobias. Don't pretend that everything is fine."
"I'm not," Tobias sounds like he is speaking through gritted teeth. "I know exactly what is going on. It is you who's pretending. Pretending that you are a liberator or something, when you are only going to replace Jeanine. Nothing will change. Nothing at all."
"This is because of her, isn't it?" Evelyn sighs after a pause. "You are doing this because — that girl told you."
"Her name is Tris," Tobias hisses. "And what goes on between her and me is none of your business."
"You are acting foolishly, Tobias. Letting her manipulate you. Just because she says she is from the future —"
I stifle a gasp by clapping my hand over my mouth. Evelyn knows? Did Tobias tell her? How could he?
"I believe her," says Tobias. "I believe her infinitely more than I believe you."
"And why is that? Did you know anything about what I am doing? How much? I told you everything, Tobias. You saw things. Heard things. Are you following your eyes or will you continue believing that fairy tale she has woven for you?"
"You don't understand," Tobias growls, but I imagine I hear his confidence falter. "She knew exactly what Jeanine was planning. If she had not acted out, all of Abnegation would have been wiped out. I am not a fool, Evelyn. I know what I am doing."
"Do you?" Evelyn's tone is careful; she is planning every word she speaks. "All right, she is from the future. She knows enough to stop the attack on Abnegation, save her family. What next? How do you know that everything else she has told you is not one big lie? Could it not be that she earned your trust with that, and is now manipulating you to earn her own ends? If she knows that much, why did you spend over a day locked up in Erudite's prison, son? Why are there cuts and bruises all over your face?"
A deafening silence falls. My heart hammers so loud I am afraid they will hear me. I wait breathlessly for Tobias to defend me, to tell Evelyn she is wrong.
But he says nothing. Silence follows silence.
My breath leaving me heavily, I move away from the wall. He doesn't believe me. After everything that we have been through, Tobias doesn't believe me. My stomach coils up in a painful knot. My breath comes in shallow bursts.
I don't know how I manage to find my way back without making a noise. I lie down on my side, facing the wall. After some time, I hear his footsteps approach our corner. A cold draft tickles me momentarily as he lifts the blanket and lies down next to me. I don't want to admit that I eavesdropped, but I want an explanation of how he could possibly trust Evelyn enough to tell her everything. Hurt swirls inside me, brimful, like acid, burning. I am surprised that he doesn't notice I am awake.
In a few minutes, his breathing evens out and he falls asleep, while I lay awake, unable to even bring myself to look at him.
They do say that eavesdroppers never hear any good about themselves.
