Twenty-Fourth of December – A Pantry Door
Despite another round of nighttime tea, Eren and Levi get up early on Saturday.
While he waits for the tea water to boil, Eren smiles at the view from Levi's kitchen. The view is familiar, of course. A year of evening rituals has placed the image deep into Eren's mind so he sees everything whenever his eyes close. Still, the morning scenery differs from the one he sees each night.
The town is still dark except for the street lamps, only a few windows brightened by candlelight to give signs of people awakening.
Going by the lit shop and steaming chimney down the cobblestone street, Norman and Evelyn are working to get their morning deliveries baked.
The bright window to the left, a bit further away, tells Eren Hanji is awake, if she even went to bed. It's hard to tell with Hanji.
One of the nuthatches lands on the windowsill to give a cheerful chirp before fluttering away. A sweet good morning given by Levi's bird tenants. It reminds Eren of Levi's drawing of Selma that greets him from the wooden pantry door where he ceremoniously pinned it yesterday night. The gesture earned himself a fond frown from Levi, who fetched his ledger to produce the oak leaf and pin it beside the napkin.
The kettle whistles, and Eren pours the steaming water over the tea leaves as Levi joins him in the kitchen. He's hobbling slightly today, though he tries to hide it. Keeping quiet about it, Eren ponders about to persuade Levi to a foot rub that evening. Maybe it would help.
"Earl Grey?" Levi asks, his voice still a bit slumberous. His hair is a disheveled mess, one cheek marked by his pillow, and a faint trace of morning shadow darkens his chin. His hand is warm where it rests on Eren's lower back.
"Yes." Eren bends down to kiss him.
There's something about a sleepy Levi which will never cease fascinating him. The fading warmth of dreams, a certain openness in his eyes mingling with scratchy stubbles. Best of all Levi's fingers seem unable to stay away from Eren for too long. They search Eren's waist for contact now, thumbs brushing over his shirt-covered hip bones as they kiss.
When they part, Levi is smiling. "Good." His index finger slips under Eren's collar to examine a hidden love bite from the night before which Eren forbid to heal in his sleep.
He looked at the bruise in the bathroom mirror himself earlier and curiously pressed down on it, enjoying an odd sensation of satisfaction at the zing of mild discomfort.
"Show-off," Levi huffs at his grin. Nonetheless, his eyes gleam with the smirk playing around his lips.
Laughing, Eren turns to get the sieve out of the tea pot. "I usually eat honeyed toast for breakfast on the weekends." He gets two cups out of the cupboard. "Would you like some too?"
"Hm," Levi says, and pads towards the pantry.
They roast the bread, spread it with butter and honey, and enjoy it with the freshly brewed tea while the world on the outside awakens. The community comes alive as the sun sets everything alight. The sky is clear today, and though the iced snow on the frost-glittering trees promises a crisp cold, they are warm inside, all the way down to their tangled feet.
Levi has finished his first triangle of toast and reaches for the second one. "What will you be doing today after setting Selma free?"
"Don't know." Eren shrugs, chewing on his own share of honeyed bread. He hasn't given it much thought. Now that he does, there's nothing much to be done. He's still under weekend break restrictions on work, not that he misses it in the first place. Armin isn't here. Mikasa and Jean are probably doing whatever they do together in their free time. Plus Connie and Sasha don't need Eren's help this week.
As Levi's eyes visibly lighten up with a fresh, crunching bite of his fresh toast, Eren makes a mental note to buy more bread. He also wanted to go to the tailor for new bed sheets.
"I should go shopping for us," he thinks out loud. "And do some laundry."
"Hm." Levi nods. "I've got help with the laundry part, though."
"You do?" Eren asks, eyebrows lifting in surprise.
"Yes, Scara," Levi says. "She comes every Monday morning to fetch the basket and returns it on Wednesday around noon."
"Oh. I didn't know."
Levi smiles. "That's why I'm telling you. We should give her a raise."
"True if she's doing my laundry also." Eren grins over his tea cup. "Any other helpers I should know about?"
"No that's all. This place isn't too big."
Taking another sip of his tea, Eren frowns as a sudden thought comes to his mind. "When do you usually clean?" he asks.
"When I can't sleep," Levi says, mouth quirking upwards.
"Oh." Head cast down at his half-emptied plate, Eren blushes. Set aside their nocturnal tea breaks, and they spent their last couple of nights either fucking, or sleeping. Or rather both. "Sorry."
Levi snorts with warm eyes and rubs his fingerpads against each other to loosen the last crumbs of his toast. "We'll figure something out. Which half of the newspaper do you want first?"
Eren isn't surprised to meet an already waiting Hanji at the entrance door when they go downstairs to open the café anymore.
Levi flips the sign on the door to 'open' and lets Hanji in with a gust of frost. He steps behind the counter before slipping into his apron and making the first coffee of the day. "Tea again?" he asks Eren, although they just had some.
"Yes, please." Accepting their new ritual, Eren sits on a bar stool at the counter.
Hanji beams at them as she orders a piece of fruit cake to go along with her coffee and morning bagel. "How was your first week of the new training year, Eren?" she asks, untangling herself from her coat which seems determined to stay on her shoulders.
"Good," he replies. "Thank you."
She takes seat on a bar stool next to him, rubbing at her fogged glasses. "How are they doing?"
"Well so far. Moaning about the drills, though." Eren shoots a conspiratorial grin at Levi and isn't surprised when he's met with a smirk.
Hanji smiles. "Ah, well. They'll get used to it. Any further fright?"
Accepting the proffered cup of tea from Levi, Eren shakes his head. "No."
"That's good." She starts eating her bagel, slowly this time, as her eyes get caught by something on the streets outside. "Oh, speak of the devil."
Eren turns around just as the door bell tinkles to let Anna into the café, Lennard and Hans—a small, freckled boy with curly, black hair and glasses—in tow.
As they enter, the boys shoot Eren a hesitant smile before all three offer a cautious salute and mumbled greeting to him and Hanji.
Their Commander tuts with a wave of her hand. "No formalities here, please. I come to this place in my free time." Hanji raises her bagel to take another bite while Eren grins.
Postures easing, the kids turn to Levi.
"You are Captain Levi?" Anna forthright asks.
He nods. "I am. And you must be Anna. I've heard about you. Glad to meet you."
Anna holds out her hand for him to shake while the boys begin to whisper as they look at Levi with almost doubting eyes. Eren can nearly hear their thoughts. These days Levi looks less like a soldier than ever, and lanky Lennard is already about to tower him.
"Come on, Eren," Hanji says, sliding down from her chair and gathering her things. "Let's make them some space at the counter. Seems our new recruits want to get to know the Survey Corps' finest."
While Levi shoots a glare at Hanji with a soft snort, Eren nods, takes his cup of herbal infusion, and joins her at one of the tables nearby. Taking his seat, he smiles as he thinks of Levi kissing him right next to it only a couple of hours ago. Kissing and promising…
"He'll never lose the 'Captain', huh?" Hanji sounds amused.
Thoughts snapping back to the present, Eren chuckles and eases the pressure on his love bite. "I guess he won't."
Taking a gulp of her coffee, Hanji looks at the counter. By now the three Trainees have settled onto the bar stools as Levi busies himself with pouring them coffee, his eyes focused on Anna.
"She really looks like Petra, doesn't she?" Hanji ponders.
"Yes, she does." The tea cup is warming Eren's hands with a plume of steam rising out of it with pleasant, flowery scents. Rose and something else which gives the infusion a herbal flavour.
They continue their shared breakfast, listening to the chatter of Anna and her friends that's mingling with Levi's calm answers. Eren sips his drink while Hanji finishes her bagel plus added cake before they both stand and leave the Sparrow together—Hanji towards her office, and Eren towards the forest.
By now, the sunlight has brightened the sky to a pale grey through a veil of clouds. The wind is mild, yet still cold. The people Eren passes seem to take their time with their Saturday errands. They stroll through the streets. Some halt in front of shop windows, or to talk to an acquaintance.
Harold, Rita, and Mia are already waiting for Eren at the outskirts of the town. The birdcage is standing between them, and Selma chirps happily inside of it as if she knows they are here because of her. A few of the other Trainees have joined them. Amongst them Derek and Percy, all looking at Eren with expectant expressions as he approaches.
"Good morning," Eren greets them, and they all greet back, eyes gleaming.
"Thank you for joining us today, Sir," Harold says, bouncing on the balls of his feet.
"Good day for flying, isn't it?" Rita adds with a grin. She stands next to Harold, Mia at her other side.
"I guess it is," he grins back.
Harold beams. Removing his gloves, he crouches next to Selma while the others fall silent.
Selma chirps again as the cage opens and flutters shortly as Harold's hands reach out to her to remove her with calm, soothing mumbling. She blinks and looks around in Harold's steady hold, reminding Eren of her tiny, concentrated warmth and her quick heartbeat that Harold must feel under his fingertips.
Harold coos and with a last, careful stroke of his fingers over her head, he places her down onto the ground. "I know there wasn't snow that day, but this is where we found you," he says. "Do you remember this place?"
Selma chirps, and Rita links her arm with Harold's as the bird begins to hop over the icy floor to disappear under a low shrubbery. They hear Selma rustling around for a while, followed by silence.
More rustling.
The group holds their breath.
Then comes a flapping sound, and a moment later a brown figure flies up into the sky, high, higher—far, far away, over the treetops and into new freedom, until it is out of sight.
Eren shoots a glance at Harold and has to grin at his wide, elated smile.
"Goodbye, Selma," Mia says, waving at the bird. "Have a good life."
I will miss these kids when it's time for them to go out into the world, Eren thinks as his heart swells with pride. Until then he'll get to spend two more years with them at least. He looks forward to every single day of it.
"Well done, Harold," he says, earning himself the brunt of three sets of sparkling eyes.
When Eren returns from his errands, the Sparrow is so filled with people that he shoots Levi a small smile before heading up the stairs.
After stocking up their pantry with fresh bread, butter, and ingredients for their weekend meals, Eren makes up for some lost sleepless time by cleaning the flat. Busy with that, he wouldn't even notice the hours rushing by if the light wasn't getting dimmer and dimmer. Before he knows it, it is late afternoon and time to go downstairs.
Slipping into his shoes, he wonders if it should feel odd going into the café from this door instead of stepping in from outside, but it doesn't one bit.
Of course he doesn't even need to go after all. He no longer needs an excuse to visit Levi in the evenings. He'll see him anyhow when Levi finishes his work. Still, Eren wants to see him. So he closes the flat door of flat behind him to join Levi in their usual ritual of café closing tea.
"How is Harold?" Levi asks at their table, entrance door closed, café ready for tomorrow, lights dimmed to a minimum of what is necessary.
"Happy," Eren answers. He has helped with tidying up again, grinning at the fact that Levi doesn't even sigh any longer. Two additional hands speed up the closing routine, and it's not like Eren minds. He likes to help Levi. Plus after a day of standing and serving customers, Levi's foot probably hurts far worse than this morning, no matter how little Levi reveals.
"It went well then." Levi's fingertips rest on his cup with the steam rising between his digits.
"It did." Searching for Levi's feet under the table with his own, Eren takes a sip of his tea.
"Hm." Levi smiles, stretching out his feet as well as he leans back. "I'm glad."
Quiet minutes pass before Eren speaks again. "How was your talk with Anna?"
Fondness settles on Levi's features. "They are good kids. You might want to have an eye on Lennard, though," he adds with a flicker of mirth in his eyes. "He's a rebel."
"What makes you say that?" Eren asks. Up until now Lennard hasn't made any problems whatsoever, but it's only been a week, and it would be unwise not to listen to Levi's assessment.
Levi grins at him over his tea cup. "Just a feeling."
Eren rolls his eyes, chuckling as he digs his fork into his piece of cake. It's chocolate again. Soft in texture, spongy, and rich, and with a sticky chocolate coating. Levi's eyes lightened up when he handed Eren the plate and do again now as Eren eats.
"You know," Eren begins, relishing in the luxurious flavours of sugar, cocoa, and bitter almond. "This cake is delicious."
"Mm," hums Levi, and yes, the delight is unmistakable. A slow smirks steals its way onto his face, lingers there, and sends a flutter through Eren's stomach. "I know. I chose it after all."
Eren smiles as an idea forms in his mind. "Have you tried it today?"
He cuts off a small piece to pick it up with his fork. Fixing his eyes on Levi's, he holds it out over the table with a challenging lift of an eyebrow, his elbow resting on the tabletop.
Levi stares at him for a curious moment before his gaze softens. "We're sitting at the window," he says, returning the lifted eyebrow as he tilts his head to the very same.
Neither looking away from Levi's face, nor retrieving the chocolate cake loaded fork, Eren grins. "We are." He shrugs. "Everyone always watches us anyway."
"So they do," Levi agrees.
Eren almost thinks Levi will refuse, but then a sudden shift in the set of Levi's shoulders indicates a decision has been made.
Levi smiles, sets his cup down, and wraps his hand around Eren's wrist, guiding the desert into his mouth as he leans forward. His grip is strong, his fingers cool, even through the sleeve of Eren's shirt. Still not breaking eye contact either, Levi closes his lips around the proffered fork, leans back, and brushes his thumb over Eren's skipping pulse before releasing the wrist. A faint blush rises on his cheeks as he chews, almost too subtle to catch in the low light, yet it is there. A hint of pink on pale skin. Eren's heart jumps at its sight, beginning to speed up as Levi swallows and licks his lips with a hum.
"Not bad," Levi says.
Warmed all the way through by the obvious understatement, Eren chuckles, empty fork still aloft. Wanting to see more of Levi eating cake, he cuts off another piece of sugary goodness to offer it again with a lifted eyebrow.
"Don't push it," Levi growls, though the silvery sparkles in grey irises betray his words.
"Open wide, Captain," Eren retorts, not intending to give in.
Levi snorts and relents, leaning forward once more. "You are a nuisance."
"True," Eren says, grinning, aiming for a piece of cake for himself now. "You love it."
"Tch. Brat." Twitching lips get hidden behind a cup, and Eren loves him so much, it almost hurts.
He also might just have found himself a new favourite thing to do.
"So, I was thinking," Eren says as he towels dry their freshly washed dishes.
"Dangerous." Levi smirks.
Eren laughs, poking out his tongue. "I was thinking," he begins anew, "that you've got a very nice bathtub."
"So I have," Levi agrees, reaching for a dripping plate to wipe dry.
"Would you like to join me in it later?" Eren asks, polishing a cup with his towel.
Grey eyes meet his and crinkle slightly at their edges. "You want to splash around a bit."
The implication makes Eren grin. "I was thinking more about massaging your feet," he admits.
Levi's smile gets warm as his cool fingers brush over Eren's waistline in a silent "thank you," before letting go again. "We could do that too."
"Good."
"Good."
If cake feeding was good, bathing together is even better.
Eren stubbornly insisted on helping Levi get undressed, which only added to the whole appeal, and now that they face each other, stark naked and legs tangled easily around the other, Eren begins to enjoy this very much indeed. The lamp casts soft dancing shadows on the walls, underlain by the playful sounds of rippling water and tiny splashing noises as they sink deeper into the relaxing heat.
Lazy steam rises in the dim, warm light, making the air heavy with sweltering dampness.
Though Eren isn't much surprised to find out Levi likes his bathing water piping hot, he is surprised when he finds out Levi is incredibly ticklish. At least if the sudden jerk as Eren reaches for Levi's foot is anything to go by.
Stilling in his movements, Eren lifts an eyebrow in joyful awe. "Was this…are you–"
"No," Levi says. His face is a picture of cool self control, yet there's a flicker in his eyes that tells Eren otherwise.
Eren grins slowly as warm delight spreads through his veins, seeing on Levi's expression that Levi knows exactly what he's about to do. "You do know I've got your foot in my hands and am about to rub it, don't you?" Eren points out. "Fibs won't help you." He digs his thumb into the connection between sole and little toe.
Levi's leg winces again. The jerking movement is accompanied by a soundless wheeze of protest and splashes of water as Levi smirks back. "Why did you ask then."
Shrugging, Eren must admit he has no answer to that.
"But yes," Levi says. "Seems like I'm ticklish." The curious, almost startled, frown on his brow makes Eren ask further.
"Seems like it? You didn't know before?"
"No," Levi answers. Even in the soft, moving glow of the candlelight, his expression is so serious and collected, yet so blatantly pleased at the news, that Eren cocks his head in wonderment.
Isn't being ticklish something about oneself that one simply knows? At least that's what Eren always thought.
He doesn't even know how he found out he isn't ticklish at all, but he remembers his mother sighing over it with a fond smile. Mikasa is ticklish. Armin too. They've known such about each other since they were little. Tickling is one of those things you try out because it's fun and it makes people laugh. Tickling attacks also were some of the minor, most harmless pranks they played on one another during Eren's barrack times.
The conclusion takes a moment to slot into place, and when it does, something inside of Eren twists. Anger flares up, leaves him speechless, his heart aching, his blood turning cold. Furious tears burn in his eyes as he clenches his jaw at the injustice of it all. Looking down at the wonderful foot in his hands, which is marked by years of being tied to the gear, he exhales against the pain.
How lonely must one have been to never find out about something like this?
A moment later, the foot is pulled out of his now empty grip as Levi leans forward. Water splashes around them in sharp, echoing ripples. Eren swallows down his rage. Unfair. Levi's past is so unfair!
"It's okay," Levi says, reaching for Eren's hand and ruffling up his hair.
Eren shakes his head, because no. This is so not okay.
"I should have been there for you earlier," he presses out. "And don't you dare tell me this is fine! You are the best person I know."
Levi doesn't reply. Only looks back at him with a deepening line on his brow, hand squeezing Eren's. A thumb brushes over Eren's cheekbone, catching one single, irate tear. From this close, Eren can see his irises reflect burning blue in Levi's colourless ones.
He sniffs, squeezing his eyes shut to collect himself whereas his free hand takes comforting hold of Levi's muscular arm. When he blinks them open again, Levi is still there, quiet, frowning, so Eren leans in and hugs him tight. He seeks simple contact now. Closeness. Nothing else. Naked, soap-slippery skin on naked, soap-slippery skin. Levi.
As Levi embraces back, Eren listens to Levi's steady breath in the otherwise silent bathroom, lets it assuage him with the sensible proof that they are here now. Together.
It helps.
Freshly determined to make up for the lost time, Eren pulls away, wipes his eyes, and reaches into the scalding water to reclaim Levi's leg without a word.
Remaining silent too, Levi leans back, letting Eren pull his left foot into the right position.
Levi's feet, though reddened from the hot water now, are just as pale and firm as the rest of him. They're as battered too. Calluses, bruises and strap-shaped scars run from the heel all around the back of the foot. Levi would never admit it out loud, but it must have been more than uncomfortable wearing the harness for all these years.
It's already irritating for Eren with his quickly self-restoring body, yet Levi always clamped the straps a little bit tighter than the rest of them. Even after two years, some of the contusion still haven't completely healed, probably never will, Eren supposes.
Lifting the foot to his lips, Eren places a fond peck onto the big toe, and feeling Levi's gentle squeeze on his shin, he starts with small, careful movements. His thumb presses gently into the pad, rubbing upwards, gradually enhancing the pressure until Levi hums his approval, and the grim knot in Eren's stomach unclenches. It unties completely when Levi reaches for Eren's foot in return.
He returns Levi's soft smile with a smirk—no, not ticklish—and hums his thanks too as blissful relaxation settles over him.
His wish to protect and cherish this man is all-consuming and bright. So he sighs and proceeds with exploring Levi's foot.
"Has Hanji never found out?" he asks as the sudden thought slips into his mind.
"No," Levi says. His fingers are so strong, kneading every toe and the ball of Eren's foot with pleasant and firm pressure.
"But don't you scrub her down every once in a while?"
Levi snorts. "I've always had to force-wash her. Not much room for tickling each other when one of you is terrified of hygiene for some reason. And how do you think it happens anyway? Civilised like this?" He hoists Eren's foot.
Eren grins. "I don't know."
A chuckle escapes Levi's chest, sending cheerful waves through the water which lap against Eren's collarbones. "No tickling," he assures again. "I don't even undress when I'm cleaning her up. Erwin gave me the chore after she got so ill because of not bathing. Found out she's terrified of it the hard way. Moblit was the only other person who could get her cleaned up, but she preferred me for some reason. All I know is that she trusts me to not let her drown."
The image of Levi soaking wet and dripping in his clothes forms before Eren's vision. He grins as his stomach tightens. "I'd like to see you soaked in your clothes one day."
Levi pinches Eren's little toe. "Why am I not surprised." His eyes twinkle, though, and Eren notices with a promising flicker of anticipation that this wasn't a blatant refusal.
"We should invite her over next Friday," he suggests. At Levi's lifted eyebrow, Eren rolls his eyes. "Not for that!" he clarifies with a snort before offering a small shrug. "It must be lonely at HQ for her now that we're not there. Plus I've sort of taken your time over recently. She used to come bang on my door at off hours and we'd have tea together when she was pulling all nighters. Now that I've moved in over here, she doesn't have me shoving food in front of her at two in the morning."
Levi looks at him for a moment, hands working on Eren's foot while Eren has begun to rub Levi's arch.
The silence stretches, but eventually, Levi nods. "She'd like to spend time with us," he says, the big toe of his free foot brushing over Eren's ribs.
"I think so too."
As Eren moves his massage up Levi's ankle, Achilles tendon, and calf, Levi inhales with a suppressed grimace. Yet he leans into the massage in a silent permission for Eren to continue.
"We're probably the last two real friends she has," Levi says.
His leg is tense under Eren's touch, so he minimises the pressure of his fingers on the cramping muscle, deciding to distract Levi from the pain by diverting his thoughts.
Or rather by continuing the subject they're already discussing. "Why is her fear of water so bad when she's fine riding horses in rain storms?" he asks.
Levi hums. "Rain doesn't bother Hanji, but she goes into blind panic in shower stalls and bathtubs. Never found out why." His eyes are directed at Eren's foot before him, yet his frown is aimed at something far away. "She needs another shower. Can't let her get that sick ever again. She almost died last time."
Skating his hands over Levi's shin, Eren nods in understanding. "I'll help you with her."
"Doubt she'll mind," Levi agrees. "She trusts you."
"And also," Eren adds with a mischievous wriggle of his brows, "You do know that we have to find out what other places you are ticklish in, don't you?"
The last comment does the trick. Levi's sorrow-tinged frown vanishes, making way for a mirthful chuckle that finally drives out the last bit of gloom. All that's left is Levi's smile, lightened by the warm glow of the candles, and some lively little waves, splashing in the silence.
"We'll see about that."
Eren laughs. "It that a threat, Captain?"
"Who knows, brat?" Levi smirks, letting go of Eren's foot to tend to the other. "And thank you."
