It's only been seven days. I'm proud of myself :)
Chapter 28
Brendan looked at the picture in his hands. His hands were shaking as he looked at his father, who was lying on the ground. His shirt was covered in blood, just like the ground around him. His eyes were open, but there was no life in those eyes. Brendan still heard the sounds of Cheryl's tears and Lynsey's voice trying to calm her down, but he was too absorbed in the picture. Even though his father had made his life hell and had made him the man he was today, he felt sick just looking at the picture. Not because his father was lying dead on the floor, for he had wished his father dead, had maybe even dreamed about killing him. No, he felt sick, because of the underlying message of it. Somebody had killed his father and even though it was justified, it also meant that someone knew much more of his past than he had thought in the first place. Why would someone kill his father? Yes, his father was a monster, but nobody except for himself knew what his father had done to him, so how did his father end up on that cold floor?
Brendan was pulled back into reality when he heard someone saying his name. The photo glided out of his hands and landed at his feet, while he looked at Lynsey, who appeared behind his shoulder, with the phone in her hands.
"You need to talk to them. They won't talk to me, cause I'm not a family member."
Brendan looked at her uncomprehendingly.
Lynsey sighed: "The police? What happened to Cheryl's mom and your dad… They want to explain to you what happened."
Brendan looked over his shoulder to Cheryl, who was sitting at the kitchen table. His voice sounded strangely hoarse when he spoke: "What about Cheryl?"
"She hasn't said a word. I think she is in shock. Take the phone, Brendan. I need to go to Cheryl."
Brendan looked at the phone for a moment, trying to figure out what he should do, what they would tell him or what they would leave out.
There was only one way to find out.
He took the phone out of Lynsey's hands and brought it to his ear. "Yeah?"
"Am I speaking to Mr Brendan Brady, son of Seamus Brady?" Brendan heard a female voice say at the other end of the line.
"Yes you are."
"My name is officer Woods. I presume your sister already informed you of the reason of this call."
"Yes, she did. How did it… " Brendan swallowed. "How did it happen?"
"You're aware of the fact that you're father owned a house in Greysteel?"
No he wasn't. Lynsey had said that Seamus had sold the house fifteen years ago, Brendan remembered, but apparently that house was still his father's and now he was killed in that same house. Everything was getting stranger and stranger. "Yes I was."
"There was a big fire, half the house was burned down." Officer Woods was silent for a moment. "We've got reason to believe it was ignited."
That had also been in the article, Brendan remembered.
"How did they…" Brendan cleared his throat: "how did they die?"
"We are not really sure. Their bodies where too maimed by the fire."
"But they were murdered."
"We've got reason to believe they were, yes. Their bodies weren't found far from the place where the fire was ignited. So we have to keep all the options open."
"What does that mean?"
"I'm sorry I have to ask this, sir, but did you have any reason to believe that your father or your stepmother would commit suicide?
"No," Brendan commented: "No, I do not."
"I need you to consider it very carefully, sir. Has there been any sign-"
"I said no, didn't I?!" Brendan growled, losing his patience.
I'm sorry sir. I know it must be hard for you. And I rather would've done this in person, but due to-"
"Does it sound like I care?"
"Not in the slightest sir."
"Good. Well go on then, officer Woods."
"Yes… well…" Brendan heard the sound of rustling paper. This officer Woods presumably hadn't done this very often. Maybe he should help her, or this would take ages. He wanted to go to Cheryl.
"When did it happen?" Brendan asked. He already knew the answer, but it was a far better idea to let the police think he didn't.
"Almost two weeks ago. The thirteenth of September. It took us a long time to identify the bodies." She cleared her throat for a moment and then she continued: "Now I wanted to ask you if you know anybody who could have had a reason to harm your father and his wife?"
"No, my father and my stepmother were good people. I have no idea who would wanna hurt them."
And he actually had no idea who would wanna hurt his father. To the outside world he'd always been a much respected man. No one knew what used to happen behind closed doors.
"Mr Brady?" Brendan realized that he had missed what she had been telling him.
"Yeah?"
"If you or your sister have any further questions or if you have any information that could help us with our investigation you can contact us."
Brendan cleared his throat. "If there's anything, we will let you know."
"Good," officer Woods said: "And Mr Brady? I'm really sorry for your loss."
xXx
Ste took his jacket off the coat rank and left the house. He'd been able to pretend he was alright during diner, but he couldn't pull it off any longer. He'd told Amy that he would meet up with Brendan and she had told him to go. Ironically she was finally getting used to them being together when they had broken up. Ste knew he needed to tell her sooner or later, but in all honesty he rather had it later. He didn't want to see her face, she would never say it out loud, but she would think it. She would think that she'd warned him about this, that he'd been stupid to fall for it again, that she had told him that it would end badly.
He hated that she was right.
Ste closed the door behind him and walked down the street. It was early in the evening. It was still light outside and it had finally stopped raining. Ste passed a few houses, nearly reaching the end of the street. He didn't know where he wanted to go, maybe he could go to the club, take a few drinks. But it was probably better to avoid the club in case Brendan would be working. He didn't want to face him. Ste heard the opening and closing of a door and saw a lad walking out of the last house of the street. The lad waved and called after him:
"Oi Ste, you alright?"
Ste had to think for a second. What was the guy's name again?
Gaz? Gerard? The lad moved a little closer and Ste remembered his name; Gary. He'd moved into this street four months ago. Ste had never really talked to him, although he seemed nice enough.
Ste paused till the lad had caught up with him and shrugged. "I guess."
Gary raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound very convincing."
Ste gave him a sharp look and started walking again. "I have a bad day."
Gary caught up with him again and started to walk next to him. "How come?"
Ste sighed. "My boyfriend basically told me that our whole relationship was built on a lie."
The lad's eyes widened and Ste grinned darkly. "Yes, I had a boyfriend."
Gary held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. "Whatever swings your way, mate."
"I don't recall us being mates?!" Ste grumbled. He definitely needed that drink. He just wanted to drink, enough to forget everything, drown his feelings. Feeling numb suddenly seemed very appealing. Brendan had taken his emotions en mixed them all up. When Brendan had left he'd cried. Cried till there were no tears left and now he just felt a hollow anger on the inside. He still couldn't believe how stupid he had been. That he hadn't seen it coming. Was he truly that blind?
"I know, but you look like you need one."
Ste looked sideways at Gary. "Maybe I do."
After Brendan had left Ste had had some time to think. And now he couldn't help but wonder why. Why Brendan had decided to tell him. Brendan had made it sound like he'd told him because he was tired of Ste. Tired because he'd won his game and now there was no point going through with it. But Ste knew there were things going on in Brendan's life. Terrible things. He knew that someone was threating Brendan, so badly that he'd left for Ireland last week.
Could that be part of Brendan's reason for telling him what he'd done? Out of protection?
Ste greeted his teeth together and shook his head. No! No! No! He was acting pathetic. Brendan and him, over and done. He would never go there again. Brendan had just used him for his sick game. Like he always did! And Ste had been stupid enough to fall for it again. Also the same! Not much had changed it the past two years.
Ste couldn't believe that he'd thought that they could finally make it work this time. He'd believed that Brendan had changed, believed that his love for Brendan would be enough. But it wasn't and it never would be. Ste felt the tears sting in his eyes. Fuck! He wasn't going to cry again. Brendan fucking Brady wasn't worth crying over. Ste swallowed and wiped the tears away with his hand. Brendan was part of his history.
Ste was startled out of his mind when he felt the light touch of a hand upon his shoulder. He'd forgotten that Gary was still walking next him.
"Are you alright?" the lad asked.
Ste shrugged lightly. "Maybe some drinks will help."
Gary nodded and let his hand slip from Ste's shoulder. "This may sound stupid, but it gets better you know. We've all been there. So what do you think? The first round on me?"
Ste smiled wearily. "I guess some company won't hurt."
Gary grinned. "Good."
They reached the Dog in the pond and Ste just opened the door when his phone rang. He took his mobile out of his pocket and looked at the display. It was Lynsey. Why would she call him? He nodded at Gary to walk in. "You go get those pints, I've got to take this."
He took a few steps away from the door, accepted the call and brought the mobile to his ear.
"If this is about Brendan I don't want to hear it," Ste said, without greeting.
"No, Ste this is not about Brendan." He heard the surprise in her voice by his reaction. "Well it is, but it's important."
When she didn't continue Ste snarled annoyed. "Well tell me then? What is so important that you have to disturb my evening for it?"
Ste heard a sniffing sound, like she had been crying, and he suddenly felt worried. Had something happened? Had something happened to Brendan? He knew he shouldn't care, but he couldn't just switch of his feelings for that man. If he could he would have done it a long time ago.
"Lynsey tell me what happened."
"There has been an accident. The father of Cheryl and Brendan and the mother of Cheryl… They're dead Ste."
Lynsey's words took his breath away and fear took hold of him.
"Are they… Are Cheryl and Brendan okay?"
"Cheryl is in pieces and you know Brendan. He's acting all though, but I don't think he's handling it very well Ste. He's shocked. We all are. I know you're probably busy, but you're close to both Brendan and Cheryl and we could really use your support."
Brendan's dad had died.
God he wasn't ready to face Brendan already. Probably never would be. Brendan had made it very clear that he didn't want him in his life, but Lynsey was right, they needed him. And he wouldn't go there for Brendan's sake, Ste told himself, but for Cheryl's. She had lost both her parents on one day and she needed all the support she could get.
Ste ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, of course. I'm on my way Lynsey."
"Thank you Ste."
Ste sighed and put his mobile back in his pocket. So much for his plan to drink till he was completely wasted and would forget the past day. He looked longingly at the bar for the last time and walked towards the Brady's household.
xXx
The doorbell rang and Brendan moved to stand up. The last hour had been hell. He didn't know what to do. His dad was dead and Cheryl's mum too. How? Why? When? All these question kept going round and round in his head. Cheryl hadn't stopped crying and he just felt so helpless. It was a feeling he hated, it freaked him out. He couldn't comfort Cheryl, his emotions were too much of a mess for that. He was confused and upset, and it was painful to see Cheryl being hurt this way. But he also felt a strange kind of relieve, like a weight was lifted of his shoulders, like a shadow had faded in his head. It was a terrifying thought that somebody had killed his dad and that that somebody was letting Brendan know, but he wouldn't mourn his father's dead.
Brendan stopped in front of the door, taking a deep breath, trying to compose himself, and opened it. Despite everything he felt his heart pop up when he saw who was standing in his portal. Then he remembered what he'd told Steven yesterday and all the hated feelings came back to him.
Brendan leaned weary with his head against the door post. "Look Steven, now is not a good time. We-"
"I know, Lynsey called me. She told me what happened," Steven interrupted, meeting Brendan's eyes. After a long uncomfortable silence, he added: "I'm only here for Cheryl."
Brendan held Steven's gaze for a moment longer, before he nodded his head and stepped aside.
Steven's shoulder brushed against Brendan's when he walked in, in some weird way it felt comforting to Brendan. He closed the door and turned around.
Cheryl was already holding on to Steven, tears gliding down her cheeks. Her hair and make- up were a mess. Brendan felt his heart cringe as he looked at his baby sister. She didn't deserve all of this. There must be some way to comfort her.
Brendan wanted to walk towards them when he suddenly saw a part of the photo sticking out from underneath the couch. It was the photo he had dropped earlier.
Shit! He needed to take it away before someone saw it.
Brendan sat down on that part of the couch where the picture lay. He kept his eyes on Cheryl and Steven, whom were still holding each other tightly. Lynsey was sitting on the other couch with her eyes closed. Nobody was paying attention to him.
Brendan slowly dropped his arm until his fingers touched the picture. He risked a quick look down, picked up the picture and put it in the inside of his jacket. At the moment he looked up, he saw how Lynsey just closed her eyes again.
Brendan gritted his teeth in frustration. He hoped she hadn't seen anything.
"Does anyone want some coffee?" Brendan asked. When he got no answer he stood up to make some for himself.
He put the coffee machine on and leaned against the counter while waiting for the coffee to get ready. Brendan looked into the living room once more, to reassure himself that no one paid attention to him, and took the photo out of his inside pocket to look at it again.
Brendan hadn't seen his father in five years, but he still looked exactly the same. The same old bastard. The only difference was that this time there was no light in his eyes and he was lying in a pool of his own blood.
Brendan heard the soft click of the coffee machine, indicating that the coffee was ready, but he didn't bother pouring it into a mug.
One thing was clear; the picture was taken before the house was burned down. His father's body was still intact. Well, unburned. This meant that his father was killed before the fire was ignited. The fire was just a cover-up for the murder.
Brendan searched his pocket and found the thing he was looking for. The last letter he'd received. He reread it and one particular part grabbed his attention.
I already did something. Something… bad. And believe me if you knew what it was you would probably thank me for it.
The last time he'd read it, he hadn't paid much attention to this particular part, but here it was in black and white, this person had killed his father. And this person knew Brendan wouldn't grieve over his death. You would probably thank me for it. This. This meant that this person knew. He knew what his father had done to him, he knew about the abuse. And he also knew about that thing that Brendan had done all this years ago, the date on the back of the last picture indicated that. But how? Brendan had never told anyone and he couldn't believe that Seamus would have.
But above all why the hell would someone kill Seamus? All of it was so strange.
In the meantime Steven had been able to calm Cheryl down a bit. They were sitting next to each other on the couch and they were talking softly to one another. Steven had probably asked her to tell him what had happened. For a moment Brendan felt relieved, relieved that Steven was there to calm Cheryl down. The boy knew how to comfort people when they were hurt or upset. Something Brendan had never been able to do, it only made him feel awkward and impatient.
Brendan just wanted to put the photo back into his pocket, when he got some weird déja vu feeling. A couple of days ago he also had had a picture in his hand. The photo from the house where his father was burned. A photo with something written on the back. 13-09-1991. Brendan turned the picture, with his deceased father on it, around. He hadn't been mistaken, there was something written on the back:
Guess who's next?
A hand enclosed Brendan's heart. It was an outright threat.
And Brendan knew for sure that these words were serious. He had killed Seamus and Cheryl's mom. To murder anyone else wouldn't be a problem for this person.
Brendan glanced at the three people in his living room. The only three people, apart from his boys, that he loved. Cheryl, Lynsey and Steven. Would one of them be next?
Or was this a threat aimed at Brendan himself?
Brendan was overtaken by a panicking rage and he squeezed the picture of his dead father together to a wad. Somebody was threatening the people he cared about and there was nothing he could do. Nothing.
For the first time Brendan was really relieved that he'd cut Steven out of his life. The boy was here now, but this would be the last time, Brendan promised himself. He couldn't cut Cheryl or Lynsey out of his live, but at least Steven would be save.
Brendan tried to regain some of his calmness before someone would notice his panic. He put the photo in the pocket of his trousers, poured himself some water and took some heavy gulps.
Steven stood up from where Cheryl was seated and walked towards the kitchen. He ignored Brendan completely and it made Brendan feel even more desolated. Steven filled the thermostat with water and put it on. Then he leaned against the counter next to Brendan. Brendan noticed that Steven deliberately put some distance between them, so they wouldn't accidentally touch each other. For the first time since Steven had entered the house he looked at Brendan.
"How are you feeling?"
Brendan was surprised by that question and he had to think about a good answer for a moment. Scared, confused, upset, panicked, but above all furious. How could he explain how he felt? His father, the man he hated more than anything in this world, was dead. The people he loved could be threatened to be killed. Everything was a big mess, and Brendan had no one to share it with. He couldn't confide in Steven, not anymore.
Brendan looked sideways at Steven and tried to figure out if he was just being polite or that he might be a little concerned about his wellbeing, even after everything that had happened. But then Brendan reminded himself that Steven was only here for Cheryl and that he had to stop all those imaginations which he had about Steven being here for him.
"I'm just worried about Cheryl."
"Yes, me too," Steven agreed, not commenting on the fact that Brendan hadn't told him how he really felt.
They were silent for a while, while they listened to Lynsey's voice and Cheryl's soft sobs. Brendan noticed that Steven became agitated, moving his hands and feet, like he wanted to say something, but on the other hand, he didn't. Then the thermostat clicked, letting them know the water was hot and ready, but Steven didn't make any attempt to actually make some tea.
He looked at Cheryl and Lynsey for a moment to make sure that they weren't listening. Then he turned to Brendan.
"So do you think it was them?" Steven asked softly.
Brendan's stomach tightened. "Maybe… I don't know," Brendan lied. The need to confide in Steven was big, but he'd broken up with him for a reason. The boy already knew much more than he should.
Steven looked unconvinced and shook his head.
Brendan saw the movement out of the corner of his eye and asked: "What?"
"Nothing. It doesn't matter anyway," Steven replied nonchalant, but Brendan saw how Steven's eyes became that bit darker.
Brendan opened his mouth to give a reply, but just in time he reminded himself that it was better this way.
It was silent for a while and eventually Steven said: "Cheryl told me that you're leaving for Ireland tomorrow to arrange the funeral."
Brendan rubbed with his hand over his face. "Yeah."
Brendan felt Steven's eyes on him, as if the boy was inspecting him. "Look Brendan, you don't have to act all though and hide your emotions. Your father died, I know you and him weren't exactly on good terms, but it must be a big shock for you."
"And you're telling me that you ain't hiding your emotions?" Brendan responded, avoiding giving him a straight answer once again.
Steven gave Brendan a fast look. "Well I can hardly shout at you now, can I? With your dad being dead and all," Steven muttered: "You're even taking that pleasure away from me."
"Ouch," Brendan whispered, on an almost unintelligible tone.
Steven smiled very, very, lightly, one corner of his mouth turning up. It faded as quickly as it had appeared, but Brendan was sure he hadn't imagined it. Steven turned around and finished the tea. He picked up the glasses and started walking away.
"I'll go and check on Cheryl," the boy said, while walking towards the living room.
Brendan wanted to let him go, but felt the sudden need to stop him for a second. That they had broken up didn't mean they couldn't be nice to each other. Well, that didn't mean he couldn't be nice to Steven.
"Steven?"
The boy turned around again, his eyes meeting Brendan's. "Yeah?"
"I know that I … I Just wanted to thank you, you know for… being here… for Cheryl."
Steven nodded en wanted to walk away, but changed his mind and said: "Just remember that that's the only reason for me being here." After he'd said that, he turned around and walked over to Cheryl and Lynsey.
Brendan turned around, to pour in his coffee. With the mug in his hands he turned around again and looked at Steven, with a sad look in his eyes. "How could I forget," Brendan said to himself, knowing Steven was out of earshot.
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