My Heart
Chapter Twenty-eight:
Where Has My Heart Gone?
Kagome had always hated routines, even since she was a child in preschool. She hated monotonous cycles; they made her feel uninspired and transparent as wet paper. Up until the time she had met Inuyasha, she'd been stuck to form of monotony, some routine or other, despite her best efforts. Her friends, family, passions, and her hobbies helped keep life interesting, but each day hardly stood out from the next. She used to hate that feeling: knowing there was very little difference between yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
As Kagome slowly woke, her mind unfurling like a flower opening its petals to the sun, it occurred to her that somehow, along the way, Inuyasha had managed to change her mind. The couple had fallen into a comfortable routine, but instead of resenting it, Kagome flourished. It was funny how one person had changed something so deeply rooted in her personality. Kagome now woke up every morning excited, with a sense of contentment, and fell asleep every night sated, and looking forward to the next day.
Kagome had a new way of looking at the word 'extraordinary.' Extra. Ordinary. Sure, her days were quite ordinary, but at the same time there was something extra in her life that she had been missing up until this point. Kagome gradually opened her eyes and took in the soft pre-dawn glow of Inuyasha's room. He was still sleeping soundly beside her, one arm thrown haphazardly across her waist as if he couldn't bear to not to be in contact with her. Kagome studied the side profile of his sleeping face, her heart swelling with the nameless emotion Inuyasha often inspired in her.
Something so sweet, it was almost bitter. Something so happy, it was almost sad. Such a pure pleasure, it was almost painful.
It was most likely some residual effect of being in love; a derivative of loving someone more than your own self. Kagome eyed the red figures of the alarm clock, pouting when she realized she only had another half-hour until the day officially started. She curled closer to Inuyasha, intent on pretending like time had stopped for the moment, their world intact and perfect like the inside of a snow globe. Being the light sleeper that he was, Inuyasha gently broke the surface of his dreams and glanced down at the girl currently trying to mold herself to his body. His yawn turned into a brief, lopsided smile as he pulled her closer, arranging their bodies so they fit together seamlessly, like two jagged pieces of glass that used to be apart of the same whole.
Inuyasha languidly kissed the hollow of her throat, as he often did. There was a small, barely visible scar there from where she had been attacked in the park last winter. The kiss felt like an apology, a promise. They never talked about it anymore, but neither had forgotten.
Without speaking, they quietly enjoyed the peaceful little slice of their day, curled together, limbs entwined, simply enjoying the presence of the other. No need for words. Kagome was almost asleep again when the alarm clock started blaring. Inuyasha's ears flattened against his skull in effort to block out the sound as he rolled over and turned the blasted little machine off, with perhaps a little more force than necessary. Kagome sighed heavily as Inuyasha rolled out of bed and got ready for work.
She moved over to his side of the bed, enjoying the warmth he'd left behind, and watched him move about the room. He didn't turn on any lights, even though the sun had barely begun to filter any light through the thick curtains. Inuyasha could see well enough in the dark that he didn't need to bother with the lights, a fact that Kagome had become thankful for on early mornings. She still had a solid two hours of sleep left, but she stayed awake until Inuyasha finished getting ready. Right before he left, he leaned over the bed, and waited for Kagome to emerge from under the warm blankets. They shared a sweet, lingering kiss.
Kagome tugged on a lock of his hair, keeping his mouth within kissing distance. "Stay," she whispered.
"Can't," Inuyasha chuckled, a hint of fang peeking behind his lips. "You make me play hooky enough as it is, wench."
She sighed. "Fine. Be the responsible one." She stole a quick kiss and released him from her grip. "Have a good day."
Inuyasha ruffled her hair. "You too. I'll be back soon enough."
"After class I'm going to the dorm room to work on my project. Meet me there when you get off? We can go to that noodle place you like that's right off campus."
Inuyasha's ears perked with interest. "Sounds good."
Kagome giggled sleepily. "Love you," she mumbled softly in lieu of saying goodbye.
As he always did whenever Kagome dropped the "L" word, Inuyasha resembled a deer in headlights. He kissed her again, quite thoroughly, to avoid an answer, but this didn't bother Kagome. She knew how he felt about her. It was clear in his eyes, in his every move. She didn't know what was holding him back from repeating those words back to her, but Kagome was willing to wait. She wouldn't bully him into it, or guilt him into saying it. He would say it when he was ready, and she would be patient in the meantime.
After Inuyasha left, Kagome drifted off for a few more hours until the second alarm roused her from her slumber. She showered quickly and dressed in the clothes she kept in one of Inuyasha's unused drawers: clean undergarments, a pair of slim well-worn jeans and a light weight, cream-colored sweater. She borrowed a pair of Inuyasha's socks and quickly made her way downstairs. Sango and Miroku were still on their honeymoon and it was odd being in the house when it was so quiet. Kagome turned the coffee maker on and made some toast while she glanced over her notes for her first class.
It was her final year of university and the semester would soon be coming to a close. Her core classes, however, weren't her main concern. Most of her focus and energy was pointed towards her final end of the year project for her photography class. Each student's final project would be exhibited in a gallery at the end of the year and Kagome was both thrilled and nervous. Pouring her coffee into a thermos and throwing her supplies into her pack, Kagome prepared to leave. She did a quick once over to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything and then shoved her feet into her boots, and darted out the door.
Her classes went by fairly quickly, but Kagome's mind was preoccupied with ideas for her project. A short walk later and she was at her neglected dorm room. The dorm was empty and Kagome quickly set to work organizing. She was experimenting with an old camera she'd found at a flea market; one of the oversized clunky machines where you had to develop the film in a dark room. Kagome had converted her tiny bathroom into a makeshift darkroom and she enjoyed spending time by herself, seeping the film in the chemicals, coaxing the images into existence. She liked to watch the blank expanse slowly transform into something beautiful and familiar, like the face of a friend, or the face of her lover.
As she worked, she found her mind drifting back to Inuyasha. The last few months they had been apartment hunting, trying to find a perfect location – somewhere between where Inuyasha worked, and where Sango and Miroku were living, yet not too far from Kagome's family. The couple was also trying to decide whether to rent an apartment or take the plunge and buy a house. They had found a few options and Kagome was thinking about what it would be like to really live together, to make a home for themselves. It sounded wonderful.
They were taking their time, wanting to find the perfect compromise. Plus, house hunting with Inuyasha was fun. She liked visiting different places, imagining what their lives would be like. A soft noise from outside caught Kagome's attention. It felt early still, but time had a way of getting away from her when she was focused, and Kagome assumed Inuyasha had gotten off work and come to pick her up. "I'm in here!" she shouted. "I'll be out in a minute!"
He didn't reply, so Kagome resumed what she was doing until the door cracked open, allowing in harsh sunlight. Kagome narrowed her eyes, her temper flaring. "Inuyasha! You can't let light in here – you'll ruin my pictures!" Kagome whirled around, hands fisted on her hips, and experienced a strange moment of dejavu. Cold, hard eyes that had haunted her dreams stared back at her.
A scream started in her throat, but the man pulled a gun out of the waistband of his pants in a smooth, oily movement, and waved the weapon in her face. The sight of the gun caused Kagome to freeze up, her scream dying in her throat. A cruel, hungry smile appeared on his lips. "None of that, now. You're going to do exactly as I say, do you understand? Be a good girl and I won't have to use this."
Kagome swallowed hard, nodding her head. Beneath her fear there was a thick layer of shock; the numbed part of her brain was able to avoid panic, a slim piece of her mind that remained calm, determined to get away from her worst nightmare. Her mind was spinning, trying to devise a plan.
'Inuyasha,' his name whispered through her mind like a prayer.
Without warning, the butt of the gun met the side of her head, just beneath her ear. Kagome stumbled, crying out. "Forgive me, Kagome, I hate to be ungentlemanly, but I need to make my point clear. Don't get any ideas in that pretty little head of yours. You need to understand the only way to make it out of this alive is to listen to everything I say without question."
Kagome gingerly touched her sore skull. Blood came off on her fingertips. 'Wait…blood! That's perfect. Blood is something Inuyasha can easily track. It's evidence.' Feeling heartened, Kagome looked up at her attacker, trying to look demure and hopeless. She allowed her fear to show and it seemed to appease the man. With a grim, satisfied smile he motioned for her to get up.
"Let's go. We're keeping a very special lady waiting."
"Oi, dog breath. You're turning the wrench the wrong way."
Inuyasha snapped back to reality, blinking at the red headed teen looking down at him with wide green eyes. "Huh?"
"You've been loosening that same bolt for the past five minutes. Righty tighty, lefty loosy; remember?" Shippou quipped in his sarcastic way, leveling a look at the older male.
"Right," Inuyasha mumbled, quickly tightening the loose bolt. Shippou looked surprised at Inuyasha's lack of a reaction. Even though Inuyasha was an all around more cheerful person since he'd started dating Kagome, he would still normally have a comeback at the ready, or at the very least would have threatened to do some bodily harm. Kagome had smoothed out some of Inuyasha's rough edges, but Shippou liked the challenge. It was a little bit harder to piss the hanyou off, but oh-so rewarding.
"What's wrong with you? You've been a total space cadet all day."
"Nothing, brat. Back off. I'm just thinking."
"Uh-oh."
Shippou felt satisfied by the glare Inuyasha shot over his shoulder. That was more like it. "So, how's Kagome?"
Inuyasha's expression smoothed over into something more pleasant. "She's great."
"You guys found a place yet?" Shippou crouched down next to the hanyou, leaning against a tire.
"Nah, not yet. Damn girl is picky like you wouldn't believe. We're gonna' look at a few more places this weekend, though."
"You do know that Kagome gave me an open invitation any time, right?" Shippou grinned.
Inuyasha quirked an eyebrow. "We'll see about that."
"Just accept it, Inuyasha. Your girlfriend thinks I'm cute."
Inuyasha sighed deeply. "Don't you have some phones to answer?
Shippou pouted. "Yeah, yeah. I gotcha'."
Once the nosy kit was back where he belonged, working the front desk, trying to look busy while he played a game of solitaire, Inuyasha resumed his deep thinking. He'd been feeling uneasy all day and Kagome was on his mind more than usual. He couldn't wait to clock out and meet her for dinner. Anxiety numbed his fingers, muddled his thoughts, turned his stomach, and kept him from being able to focus on the task at hand.
He couldn't explain his unease and he was seriously starting to get annoyed with himself. Finally, after Inuyasha loosened the same bolt he'd just tightened, he threw down his wrench and fetched his cell phone. He would just call and check on Kagome, just to calm himself, so he could stop acting like a half-wit and get back to work.
One ring. Two rings. Three rings, four...
Inuyasha growled in annoyance as Kagome's voice mail picked up, her cheery voice telling him to leave a message. It was normal for Kagome to not answer her cell when she was working. She tended to get absorbed in her pictures, ignorant of the world around her. Inuyasha left a brief message and hung up.
She would call back. In the meantime he had work to do. Pushing his thoughts away, Inuyasha tried to lose himself in his work. Hours slipped by slowly, but he was able to ignore the painfully slow hands on the clock.
He didn't realize Kagome hadn't called back until it was nearly time to clock out. Inuyasha wiped his hands off with a rag, quickly changed clothes, and let himself out of the work station and onto the front floor. Shippou was spinning around in the wheeled office chair, watching music videos made a decade before he was born.
"Hey."
"Did anyone call the front desk for me?"
"Yeah, Nitro called. They want their hair back."
"Shippou, you're not funny." Inuyasha shot the bored kitsune a dull look.
"You're right, you're right. That's not funny. Poison called. They want their hair back."
Inuyasha glowered.
"Motley Crue? Cinderella? Come on, you've got to admit you kinda' look like the blonde guy from Enough Z Nuff."
Inuyasha took a deep breath, keeping a tenuous hold on his temper. "Did Kagome call?"
"Oh, yeah she did, actually. She said something about finally coming to her senses and dumping you. She wants to take me out next Saturday."
Shippou's cheeky grin faltered as he dodged the stapler that was aimed for his head. "Come on, man. Can't you take a joke?"
"I'm leaving a little early," Inuyasha growled. "Clean my station for me, runt."
"Oh, sure. Leave me your dirty work." Shippou rolled his eyes as he watched Inuyasha storm out. "No one appreciates my humor around here," he grumbled as he set about removing the stapler that was now embedded in the drywall.
Inuyasha made it to Kagome's dorm room in record time. He couldn't wait until they were finally settled down in their own place, and Kagome wouldn't have to come back. They would have enough room to house all of his junk, plus Kagome's art supplies. Maybe, if they got a house, he could dig Kagome a koi pond for her fish which - despite the promises of the store clerk -were roughly becoming the size of baby dragons.
Inuyasha froze, his spine stiffening, as he noticed the door on the front entrance was broken. The uneasy feeling started up again in full force, prepared to settle down in his gut for a nice, long stay. It looked like it had been broken with a blunt object. The door opened with no objection, and Inuyasha slipped inside and took the stairs three at a time.
'That wench better have locked the door,' he thought abstractly as he approached Kagome's room. He clenched his teeth. It wasn't even closed all the way. 'She never locks the goddamn door.' Inuyasha kicked the door the rest of the way open and stepped into the quiet common room. He made a beeline for Kagome's door, which was also wide open.
"Kagome!"
Silence.
"Kagome?"
Inuyasha felt cold. 'I'm never cold,' he thought wearily as he walked into her room. Her scent was fresh, but it wasn't the only one present. Dread coiling in his gut, Inuyasha walked slowly to the small adjacent bathroom. Kagome's little dark room was in chaos. The vats of chemicals had been dumped over and half-developed pictures littered the floor.
Inuyasha's heart felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and plummeted further when he caught the scent of blood. It was Kagome's blood. Not a lot, but it was undeniably there. A bloodied hand print was on the wall, almost as if Kagome had purposely dragged her hand across the wall. Still, despite this ominous sign of foul play, Inuyasha had not fully succumbed to panic, had not fully accepted the gravity of the situation, until the second scent finally revealed itself. It felt like Inuyasha's very soul splintered into a million pieces when he recalled that cold, snowy night at the park.
Kagome's blood filled his nostrils, tainted the air, and then he felt a curious calmness. His vision became hazy and red, his mind clouded. Inuyasha almost welcomed this half-consciousness. It numbed his roiling emotions.
What had that man's name been? Onigumo? Naraku? Well, it didn't matter what name the bastard chose to call himself. Inuyasha suddenly knew with undeniable certainty that he would be dead in a matter of hours. He turned his head and caught his reflection in Kagome's mirror. Jagged stripes ghosted over his cheekbones, like war paint; faint, but definitely there. His eyes weren't their usual golden hue, either. The pupils looked nearly blue, icy blue, transparent blue. They were rimmed in scarlet red, brilliant red, rose red. Blood red. His lips curled back in a half- snarl, half-smile, revealing long, lethal fangs.
Inuyasha looked into his own eyes and felt someone else look back at him.
A/N:
Okay, so before you get your fires and pitchforks, just know that my keyboard on my computer broke. I received my new one this morning and now you have a chapter! See how that works? Not that I'm not lazy and prone to bouts of writers block, but this time it really isn't my fault that I took so long to update.
This chapter is kind of taking a step in a new direction, so let me know what you think, please. I was almost tempted to leave out some of the drama and just have this end on a warm, fuzzy note, sort of unresolved, but what fun would that be? Plus, you know the saying: sometimes it's got to get worse before it gets better.
Thanks for all the feedback and all the undeserved patience, guys! I seriously have the best readers ever. Expect another update in less than a week to make up for lost time! This was about seven pages, but I'll try and make the next longer. I got some mixed reviews about chapter length. Oh, and yes: Shippou is the best comic relief ever. Except for maybe Miroku, but he's on his honeymoon. You guys don't even wanna know what he's up to. Anyway, all of Shippou's lame jokes in this chapter are about 80's metal hair bands. What, am I the only one here who gets the VH1 channel?
