Disclaimer – Usual.

Chapter 103

Sirius and Gillette did not at all discreetly enter the common room. Rather, they were both laughing, having to use each other for support as they stumbled through the portrait hole. When they joined the others around the fire, there was an instant where Sirius wondered how much things would change now that they were officially together. To his great relief, they both slipped back into their old patterns of behavior, evidenced by Gillette walking over to Lily and whispering in her ear, and then the two girls migrating to another part of the room to talk.

When Sirius plopped down on the couch, James eyed him curiously. "What's so funny?"

Sirius chuckled. "Nothing. We just… had a little run-in with Dumbledore." Sirius looked over at Remus, grinning, "I fulfilled my part."

It took a second for Remus to catch his meaning, but when he did, he smiled and leaned forward, extending his hand. The two did the abbreviated version of the Marauders' handshake, and Remus said, "Congrats." But when he leaned back in his chair, he pulled a face. "Ew. That means I have to fulfill my part."

"Indeed," Sirius replied, spocking his eyebrow.

"What are you two on about?" James asked.

"Sirius and Gillette are officially dating, now," Peter said off-handedly while searching his bag for something.

The other Marauders stared at him in surprise.

"Honestly, Wormtail. You're a bit scary at times," Sirius said.

Peter looked up, smiled, and shrugged.

"How did you know that?" Remus asked.

Before Peter could answer, James butted in, "Wait. You two are official now?"

"Yuh." Sirius intoned casually, but there was a twinkle in his eyes as he glanced over at Gillette.

James laughed and jovially punched Sirius on the arm. "It's about time… Wait. So what's you're part, Moony?"

Remus and Sirius looked at Peter to see if he was going to answer.

Peter shrugged again. "I don't know that one… though… If I had to guess, I'd say it has to do with setting you up on a date."

"Blimey, Worm," Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "Creepy, that is."

"Yeah. I'm glad he's on our side," James chuckled lightly.

The girls came back over a short time later and the group made the most of the evening by doing nothing.

Then next morning, as everyone in the dorm room was getting ready for the day, Sirius looked over at Remus, who was being unusually slow in his morning routine. "Moony, do you want us to come with you today?"

"What?" Remus asked distractedly. "Oh. No. Really. It'll be fine."

The four teens went together to the common room, where Addison waved good-bye to them and headed to breakfast with Patty.

Gillette, who had been sitting on the couch, rose from her seat and came over to the guys. Sirius wrapped her in an enthusiastic hug and then backed her flirtatiously into a wall.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Come on Wormtail." Glancing back he said, "I think I've created a monster." Peter chuckled and the two walked through the portrait hole.

Once they left, Sirius said, "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to talk with you… alone."

"Oh?" Gillette looked concernedly into Sirius' eyes.

"Yeah. Listen. Moony is going home today. Nobody's been to his house for… years, and he's just going to make sure it's still… livable and everything's in order for the summer." Gillette nodded. "I was wondering if…"

"If you could go with him," Gillette finished the thought. When Sirius nodded, she said, "Absolutely. I think it's a great idea. Can I help?"

Sirius smiled as relief flooded him. He had, again, been unsure if their new status would change the way they behaved. Would she become more possessive of their time together? He was glad to know she understood that his friends were a priority to him – not over her, but over a date. "Thank you," he said, giving her a small kiss of gratitude. He took her hand and, as they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast, he answered her question. "I don't know. I'm not sure he's going to be happy about me inviting myself along, but I really don't think he should be alone, either."

"Are you going to talk to James and Peter about this, too?"

Sirius nodded. "But they both have dates, too."

"Well, I know Lily will be more than happy to help. I don't know Regina very well, so I can't say how she'll react."

"It's not like they have to go. You don't have to go, for that matter."

"I know. But I want to help if I can."

"What if he… doesn't want you there?" It wasn't that Remus had anything against Gillette, but there was a difference between a guy's mates joining him for a task like this and his mates' girlfriends, no matter how tight the entire group was.

"That's fine. I was planning on sleeping anyway, remember?" she said with a smile.

Sirius pulled her into a one-armed hug and kissed the top of her head.

As they entered the Great Hall, they met up with Lily and James.

"Oi, Prongs," Sirius called quietly. He wanted to get James' attention before they sat at the table where Peter and Remus were waiting.

"Yeah." James fell into stride next to Sirius and the two girls stepped ahead of them.

"You know how Moony is going home today?" James nodded. "Well, he's been a bit off this morning."

"Think we should join him?" James asked.

"Exactly."

"Lily," James called.

"That's fine," she said as she turned to look at them. "Do you think he'd be okay if I went along and helped?"

Gillette winked at Sirius, who grinned back.

James said, "We'll just have to ask." Turning his attention back to Sirius, he asked, "Have you talked to Wormy about this yet?"

"Spending a bit too much time with Evans, mate," Sirius said, and James grinned sheepishly at him. "No. Haven't had the chance."

The two couples joined Remus and Peter at the table – James and Lily sitting next to Remus, and Sirius and Gillette across from them, next to Peter. "So Moony," Sirius began.

"Yes, Padfoot." Remus looked suspiciously at him.

"Prongs and I were thinking of joining you today."

"What?" Remus and Peter asked at the same time.

"You really don't have to," Remus said, shyly.

"We know," James cut in. "But we're your friends and we want to help."

"How come I wasn't told?" Peter asked.

"We just decided, Wormtail. But, you're more than welcome to join us."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Remus asked. He knew his friends were trying to be helpful, but he wasn't really sure he wanted them there. Some things were best dealt with alone.

"No," Sirius said flatly. When Remus only frowned at him, he added, "Prongs and I have more experience cleaning than most students here, I'd wager."

James nodded. "That's right. It's about time that skill was put to good use."

"That's what magic is for," Remus countered. "And what if I don't want you there?"

Sirius stared into his friend's yellow-hazel eyes. He noted that the bronze was starting to show through, a testament to how emotional Remus already was about this trip – that and the full-moon was just a few days away. "You really shouldn't be alone."

"Fine," he conceded, though grumpily.

"Good. Wormtail, you don't have to go. You can go to Hogsmeade with Regina," James assured Peter.

Peter hesitated for just a moment, "No. No, I want to come."

"Lily and Gillette," Remus said, "are you coming too?"

"If that's okay," Lily answered gently.

Sighing, he said, "Yes. Fine." He got up and left the table, mumbling to himself as he went.

"This is going to be interesting," James said as he watched Remus walk away.

"Maybe we shouldn't go," Gillette offered, referring to herself and Lily, and Lily nodded in agreement.

"All right," Sirius agreed. "We'll catch up later, then."

The guys said good-bye to the girls and followed in the direction Remus went. They knew he was going to use the fireplace in Madam Pomfrey's office, so they went there to find him. He was waiting for Madam Pomfrey to return from breakfast when the guys caught up with him. They sat down next to him and waited, none of them speaking.

After five minutes, James said, "Wormtail, did you tell Regina you wouldn't be going today?"

"Are you kidding? In the Great Hall? Not a chance."

"Don't you think maybe you should tell her?"

Peter looked uncertainly at them, hoping they wouldn't make him go. For all the girls he'd gone out on dates with, he'd never gotten used to saying no – or confrontation of any kind. And he didn't fancy one now. But seeing that his friends weren't going to let it go, he sighed. "I'll be back."

After he left, Sirius chuckled, "How much you want to bet he never makes it back?"

"No bet there," James answered, shaking his head and grinning.

Fifteen minutes later, Madam Pomfrey arrived and Peter still had not returned.

She smiled, seeing Remus' friends there with him. "Ready, dear?"

Remus glanced around and nodded. "Yes." He really just wanted to get this day over with as soon as possible. He wasn't sure how he was going to manage living in the house after school. This was a good test, he supposed.

Madam Pomfrey held out the floo powder for each of the boys to take. Remus went first, followed by Sirius. Then, just before James left, he said, "Peter might be coming."

"Don't worry. I'll send him along, too."

James nodded and then swirled out of the fireplace to his destination.

- - - - -

Remus nearly fell out of the fireplace into his home's living room. He took a few steps into the room and, not wanting to get soot everywhere, he used his wand to clean himself up. Then he turned around so he could do the same to whoever followed him through the flames.

Sirius was the next to arrive and, had Remus not been so unsettled, he might have laughed at his friend's ungraceful arrival.

"Ow," Sirius groused, putting his hand to his head. He, too had practically fallen out of the fireplace, only his height prevented him from getting far. Instead, his head collided with the mantle, ricocheting him back into the fireplace before he could gather his bearings and step out with much more of his usual grace.

"Let me see," Remus said quietly, grabbing Sirius by the arm and dragging him out of the way in case James came through as gracefully as the other two. When Sirius moved his hand, he had a line across his forehead that was quickly working itself into a decent-sized knot. Remus smirked in spite of his mood. "I should let you keep that, you know."

"Yeah," Sirius said. When he frowned, it scrunched up the developing bruise. "Ouch." He reached up with his hand, but Remus smacked it away. "But if you left it, I'd be complaining the rest of the day and you'd only get more pissed than you are now."

Remus grunted in agreement. "Don't move. And don't touch it."

James arrived then to see Remus letting go of Sirius' head and walking away.

"Yes mum," Sirius replied.

"You don't move either," Remus said to James as he left the room, mumbling about soot and getting things dirty.

Sirius and James grinned at each other. "He's so cute when he's pms-ing," Sirius snarked.

"I heard that!" came Remus' voice from the other room, causing Sirius and James to snort in laughter.

"What'd you do to your head?" James asked, pointing in the direction of Sirius' head.

"Damn mantle."

"Ah." James shook his head, smiling at his friend's misfortune.

When Remus came back, he was carrying a small round canister that contained some kind of balm Sirius had only seen in the hospital wing. He put some on his finger and wiped it across Sirius' forehead.

"Gentle with the goods there, mate," Sirius complained.

Remus glared at him for a moment before poking him on the head, right at the center of the bruise. Though James smirked, Sirius decided it might be best to keep his mouth shut.

Remus put the container down on the nearby end table and then turned back to clean the soot off of his friends. Once that was done, he looked around the room.

It was the first time since he arrived that he really looked at the room. It was exactly the way he remembered it, but for a thin layer of dust. Dumbledore had told him that he had sealed the house, so there shouldn't have been much to do to get it ready. Remus made his way around the room, picking things up here and there to examine them more closely, and to remember.

"Moony," James said gently.

Remus looked up at them. They still had not moved from their places. "Right. Um. Why don't you two clean down here and I'll take the upstairs."

"Okay," Sirius said, glad to have something to do. "I'll take the kitchen."

"You know there's no food there," James called sarcastically after him. Sirius didn't turn around, but gestured rudely at his friend, and James chuckled. He looked over at Remus, who was still looking somewhat dazedly around the room. When Remus made eye contact, James' stomach lurched for the unguarded pain he saw there. He couldn't imagine what Remus might be going through, and he didn't know what to say or how to help.

Remus broke eye contact and took one last look around before heading out of the room and to the stairs. He had seen the look of surprise and, perhaps, pity that crossed James' face, but he couldn't deal with a conversation right now, so he left.

It was weird to walk through the house again. It felt both familiar and foreign to him, like something from a dream. He knew exactly where everything was; there were no surprises or secret rooms or doors, and yet the house felt alien and empty. It was void of smells – the smell of cooking, the smell of garbage left too long in the kitchen, the clean smell of soap in the bathroom, or the perfume smell of candles. Until Sirius began moving things around in the kitchen, there was also the same lack of noise. The house lacked life.

Remus reached for the first door handle on his right. This was his bedroom. He walked in, looked around, and couldn't help but laugh a little. He'd grown up so much since the last time he'd been here. He had a small bookshelf that was filled with books. He had a few of his favorite story books on one shelf and just as many, if not more, historical books on the second shelf. Sirius would undoubtedly have some snide comment about how nerdy he was, even as a child. On top of the bookshelf was a pile of puzzle books, all of them complete. He found his wizard chess set; the old pieces actually greeted him when he reached for one. There were a few discarded school items that he'd left when he'd last returned on holiday.

Remus set to work cleaning the room, but noted to himself that he'd have to gather quite a few boxes. Much of what was in his room could now be given away or just thrown out. After he finished with his room, he cleaned the linen closet and then the bathroom. Each area became progressively more difficult to clean as memories piled on top of each other – each a reminder of the life he'd lost – and weighing him down. He could remember hiding in the linen closest and burying his face in towels; he loved the smell of the clean towels fresh from the laundry. He remembered that he used to pretend there was a secret passage from the linen closet to his parents' room – because a proper house had to have secret passages. In the bathroom, he remembered playing in the bathtub, as embarrassing as it would be to admit it now, but the memories still filled him with warmth and joy and longing. He could remember standing next to his father, pretending to shave as his father did, or watching his mother put on make-up, though he thought she looked beautiful whether she wore any or not.

By the time he was finished with the bathroom, Remus felt like Jacob Marley's ghost, carrying around a heavy chain that made his feet drag. And as he approached his parents' bedroom, it took all his will to move forward. His parents' room had been a place of sanctuary, even more so than his own bedroom. After all, nightmares could find him in his own room, but once he crawled into bed between his parents, nothing could find or hurt him any more. Or so he once thought.

Walking into this sacred room stole his breath away. It looked exactly as he remembered it, though why he had expected it to look different, he wasn't sure. After a moment, he remembered. This was the room in which his parents were killed. Someone had come in and straightened it up– most likely Madam Pomfrey. While he could appreciated the gesture – he really didn't know how he'd react to blood-stained sheets, floor, and walls that he could see in his mind's eye – he felt that the complete lack of evidence that anything had gone awry was somehow insulting to his parents' memories. Instead of memorializing the atrocity of what had occurred and how it had affected his life, the clean sheets and bedroom looked as if they were just waiting for his parents' return – like they were simply on holiday.

Remus crossed the short distance to his mother's chest of drawers. On top were a collection of things Remus had made as a child. They were embarrassingly ugly, but she had insisted on keeping them as a reminder. He picked up an odd clay statue and tried to remember what it was even supposed to be. Failing to do so, he set it back in its place and turned around, examining the rest of the room. He walked over to his parents' closet. He could remember a time when he swam in his father's robes, and his dress shoes flopped loosely behind Remus when he tried to wear them around the house. While his father's robes were still large for him, he was surprised to find that, now, he and his father were not so different in size. Remus probably had a little more growing to do, and might even outgrow his father. He was reminded again of how much he'd changed since he last saw his parents.

His parents' dress robes were pristine, and he fingered one of his mother's, he was unable to remember a time she had ever worn it. She really hadn't needed many since, later in life, she spent more time with muggles than wizards, and no one from the wizarding world would invite his family to a function anyway – because of him. Once again he pushed aside these thoughts, and the feelings they aroused, from his mind and cleaned the room.

It had become quiet downstairs, and Remus figured James and Sirius were finished already. They had less space to cover between the two of them, and Remus wasn't exactly working as quickly as he could. He was just stepping into the hallway when he heard the front door open. There was a creak and a woosh as air rushed through the house, the seal broken for the first time in years, and it almost felt as if the old house sighed, finally occupied and able to breathe again – the house, itself, wanting to shake the deadness off and start living again.

Remus came to the last door on the upstairs landing. This was the extra room and he remembered the sense of pride his parents had once held that they could afford an "extra" room. There, at one time, had been a bed in it in case they had company. However, a few years after Remus' attack, the bed had been removed and the room was converted into a hobby room. It was cluttered, full of sewing supplies, yarn, and knitting needles, books of all kinds, coloring books, crayons and markers. There were maps, newspapers, magazines, and a compass. Each of the members of the Lupin family were represented in some way by the things in this room. Remus ran his hand over a few items, picking a few more up here and there. He smiled occasionally as memories came back to him – things he'd tucked away, but were given free reign today.

Remus' eyes roamed the room and came to rest on a map of Europe on the wall with red, yellow, and blue pins in it. The blue pins, which far outnumbered the red, were the places his father had traveled. The red pins were the places Remus had been allowed to go as well. The yellow pins affixed articles or an image or just a word to the map. These were locations his father had planned to travel, hunting down rumors of things that would help cure his son.

Emotions roiled and battled as Remus fought for control. The map seemed to have ignited a fire in him and the feelings he'd been pushing to the side all day bubbled and boiled for release. Remus forced himself to look away, and ran both his hands through his hair. He took a deep breath and tried to find something to focus on – something that would help him push the feelings back a little longer so he could clean this room as well. When he thought about it later, he realized it would have been better for him to leave the room, but that did not occur to him at the time. So when he scanned the room, his eyes fell on a half-finished sweater his mother had been working on. He picked it up, needles and all, and ran his hand over the wool. He saw that the last row his mother had been working on was complete. She never liked to go to bed without at least finishing a full row.

Remus held the sweater tightly as he looked around the room once more. He could hear the front door open a second time, and the air from outside breezed through the house. As it did, it awoke some of the lingering smells that had been deadened by the flat air. As he stood clutching the sweater, a slight shift in the air wafted the smell of his mother, from its resting place on her chair, to his nose. And Remus couldn't maintain the barrier of stoicism any longer. With a grunt, he chucked the sweater as hard as he could, only for it to land, very unsatisfyingly, with a gentle and nearly imperceptible thud on his father's desk. Far from relieving anything, this only served to frustrate him more and, with a sweep of his arms, he wiped the desk clean, knocking everything to the floor. The resulting crash did much more to soothe, as well as encourage, the raging within, and he turned next to the map, tearing it from its place and chucking it. It collided with the standing lamp across the room and both fell to the floor.

Sirius and James were in the kitchen when they heard the first crash. With a quick glance at each other, they simultaneously sprinted up the stairs. Slamming open the door to the room Remus currently occupied, they surveyed the room. Both of them moved toward their friend, just as he let fly the map.

"Moony!" James called, as Sirius grabbed Remus from behind.

Using his superior weight, Sirius maneuvered the struggling Remus to a bare wall and pinned him against it. "Stop it, Remus. You don't want to do this."

Remus laughed, or sobbed, Sirius wasn't sure which, and continued to struggle. Sirius kept him pinned so he couldn't destroy any more possessions, but he murmured words of comfort to his friend in his soothing baritone voice. Remus eventually stopped fighting, though he was still breathing heavily, and Sirius loosened his grip, but otherwise didn't move. After another minute, Remus nodded, his breathing almost back to normal.

"You good?" Sirius asked, wanting to know if he could let go completely.

Remus nodded again. "I'm good."

Sirius stepped back, but kept a hand on Remus' shoulder. As soon as Remus had turned to face him, Sirius pulled him into a hug. James stepped over and mussed Remus' hair.

When Sirius let go, Remus took a step back. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, looking at the floor. "I just…"

"Lost it," Sirius finished. Remus nodded and Sirius continued. "And this is why we didn't want you to come alone. Sirius knows best."

Remus snorted. "Thanks."

"Why don't you let Prongs and me take this room?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded, his voice still coming out choked, and he allowed Sirius to push him toward the door.

When Sirius looked back, James said, "I got it, Pads. You go."

Sirius nodded and slung an arm over Remus' shoulders. "Come on. Madam Pomfrey left us food. That blessed woman thinks of everything."

"Hey!" James called out from the room. "Don't eat it all!"

On their way to the kitchen, they passed a small table that had a letter resting on it. Remus frowned when he saw it, and picked it up. By the time they reached the kitchen, he had the letter open and had begun to read it.

"What's that?" Sirius asked.

"Uh… It's a letter from Dumbledore. Says he took the liberty of casting a few spells to make the basement as secure as the shack."

Sirius had come to read over Remus' shoulder. "Excellent!" Sirius exclaimed. The letter mentioned cleaning out the chains in the basement since they would no longer be necessary. "Speaking of cleaning out…" Sirius began tentatively and went back to making sandwiches. "When are you planning on going through all of your parents' things?"

Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I dunno," he said tiredly. "I'm not even sure I can live here. It…"

"…holds too many memories," Sirius finished and Remus nodded. "That's how I feel about Grimmauld Place. I don't know how I'd feel to have to live there again – even if my parents were gone. But it's safe at least. This place, I mean."

"I know. And really, where else am I going to go? I can't exactly go to the Shrieking Shack every month, now can I?"

Sirius shrugged. "Where do other werewolves go during the full moon?"

Remus' face hardened considerably at the question. "The ones that don't actively seek prey?" Sirius looked up at him and nodded. "There's a whole underground community. But… they're not exactly safe. I mean, they don't try to keep people from getting in… or leaving."

Sirius had always known that Remus was different. He was a werewolf among "normal" students most of his life. But for some reason, Sirius had not realized how different Remus was from the rest of the werewolf community. He had heard stories from his parents about what those places were like, but it wasn't until now that he considered the stories might be true and not just more propaganda.

"Well, we'll help you clean things out, if you want."

As James entered the kitchen, Remus said, "I think I've had enough fun for one day, thank you."

James raised his eyebrow, wondering what he'd missed. Sirius shook his head slightly to let him know he'd tell him later, so James turned to Remus, "I got everything cleaned up, but… I couldn't put the map back the way it was. Most of the pins fell out and I have no idea where they go."

Remus waved a hand dismissively, "Don't worry about it. That will be one of the first things to go."

After lunch, with the rest of the house cleaned and inspected, the teens had nothing left to do. James had gone outside to make sure everything looked good from there. He said he didn't think there was anything a few coats of paint couldn't handle – and a goat, seeing as the lawn had not been tended to in several years. That inspection done, they decided to return to the school.

When they arrived back in the hospital wing, Remus told the others to go on ahead. He was emotionally wiped and just wanted to sleep, but he also felt an inexplicable need to see Madam Pomfrey. They really didn't talk about much as he helped her replenish her stocks and organize her supplies in preparation for the school year ending. But her company was enough to comfort him in ways his friends couldn't; after all, sometimes a boy just wants his mother, and she was the closest thing he had.

- - - - -

A/N Jacob Marley is the first ghost to visit Ebenezer Scrooge in Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." Also, I know that Remus visited the house over one of the holidays with Madam Pomfrey, but it was a quick visit and he was able to stay detatched last time. (That's my theory anyway. :) )

Thanks again to all who read, review, and encourage me. Thank you. Y'all rock! Thank you also to m'lovelies – mom, mei mei, and J.A.Carlton.