Review Replies:

Proud to be an X-Nerd: Haha, I love writing Cougar/Logan scenes, its like I can be bipolar on the page :D One scene he's all reassuring, a teacher, a jerk, completely out of patience with her, and she can be looking for guidance, needing his help, hating his guts or snarling in his face. Its great fun… As for writing her all vulnerable, I think it started out with me wanting to make sure she didn't get all Mary-Sue like. In the first fic she was way to unsure of herself, and in the second, she got herself gutted and killed by Sabertooth, so in this one, I needed to keep her grounded J Sadly, though, this is her last chapter. Like I'll say at the end, I may write a few short blurbs here or there about her (I actually have one scratching away in my head right now) but im going to try to work on an actual book. We'll see how it goes…if I post seven or eight stories back to back, it means I have bad writers block and its not going good. Thanks for all of you reviews and support through out the years (and, yes, I checked, it has been years). I think we're getting old :D

BrandiBuckeye: Sorry, last chapter, but Im pretty sure it does wrap it all up. Though there's actually no X-Men in this chapter (sorry) it still gets the job done. Thanks for all of your reviews and support, I really do appreciate it. Enjoy, and keep an eye out for short cougar fics here and there.

Adelphe: Haha, well, here's the worst part of the story: the end. Sorry, but I do appreciate you being a fan and all. Thanks and look out for a couple short's here and there with Cougar in them.

Wolf: I know, you meant to review that last one…maybe I should let you know when I update…CHECK YOUR EMAIL! And sorry you couldn't come home for thanksgiving. See you next time though?

Everyone Else: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Even one little review makes my day, heck, even flames are something, so please read, enjoy or hate, and review.

Quote: Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. -Charles M Schulz

Chapter 28

Outside of my room, I stare at the closed door and stop myself from knocking. I only smell Amber, no Joseph. Amber and her baby. She turns her green eyes to me as I open the door. The baby's sleeping on one of those carseat/carrier things.

"Hey, Cougs," she says quietly without getting up. "How're you feeling?"

"I've been better," I answer awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

"I named her Faith," she followed my gaze to the pink blankets covering her sleeping daughter. "Faith Xavia. So far, we haven't noticed any obvious mutations, but she's only three months old."

"Congratulations," again with the awkward, "She's cute," I try to make up for it with more awkwardness.

"You wanna hold her?" she reaches for the girl.

"No," I take a step back, "No…me and babies aren't…compatible."

"Cougar," she rolls her eyes, scooping up the infant and shoving her into my arms, "I've seen you stare down people like Omega Red and Mr. Sinister. I'm not going to let you be afraid to hold a baby."

"I'm not afraid of holding her," I object as Faith's eyes flutter open. "I'm afraid of dropping her." She squirms for a moment before deciding that I'm comfortable enough and falls back asleep on my shoulder. I remain tense, fully expecting the 'I want my mama' bawl at any moment.

"Rock her a bit, she's not going to bite."

"If I drop her, its completely not my fault," I warn while rhythmically shifting my feet and turning my torso. After all she does is smile and roll her eyes, I bring up the question that I knew she wasn't going to like, "Does Frank know about her?" Some states were known to grant custody of children to the non-mutant parent, regardless of what kind of slime ball they may be. Colorado was on the fence, last that I'd heard.

"No," she frowns, examining my throw rug, "And I'm hoping that he never finds out. He's in prison now, but I kept a low profile after I started to show, just incase he was smarter than we thought and had some of his pals snoop around. We have enough kids in our school, some are pretty young, plus plenty of wild teenagers, so that if any one did see her, they couldn't prove that she was mine and Frank's." She sighs, "God, I still can't believe what he did…and we helped him? And I defended him?" Her head shakes at that, "I am really sorry, Cougar. I should have trusted you completely-"

"You were under Frank's control," I correct, realizing that I mean what I'm saying. "And I'm not always the easiest to be around, so…" shrugging, we leave it at that. "So I'm told that I have options?"

"Suggestions," she corrects, putting on her business face. "We, meaning the Denver and New York teams, have some suggestions as to what you might want to do." Clearly, she's trying her hardest to word it in a non-threatening way. "The first, of course, is to come home to our team. You're welcome at any time, obviously, but we do miss you, Cougs, both as a team member and as a friend." After all I do is nod a little she continues, "The second is to join any of the other teams you may want to join. New York is an option too; though the way that you and Wolverine are constantly growling at each other, I wouldn't recommend that for everyone's safety. Third, you don't join any team and go back to being Ghost Cat. Personally, I don't like that one because you almost got dead and scared the hell out of all of us…" She sighs, realizing that she'd put her feelings out there while she was clearly trying to be professional. "Jake said you probably wouldn't like any of those, though. You like your freedom but you also like your team."

I don't respond to this. Jake's right, I do missing having the team effort, the family atmosphere. But a part of me, a small part, mind you, worries that I can't function with a team. I cause too much friction, my preferences are to follow my gut, not obey orders. I enjoyed being my own person, following the leads I wanted, never having to check with a superior or report back. Amber's next words pull me out of my swirling thoughts.

"So we've created a fourth option. You come back to Denver, be a teacher, be a part of the team, but you have full freedom to do your Ghost Cat things whenever and however you want. The only stipulation on this option is that when you're with the team, you are one hundred percent with the team. No leaving in the middle of a mission, jumping in only when it gets interesting, or ducking out of the reports. You follow orders and we all have each other's backs. If you're opted out of a mission, and we need backup, we will not hesitate to call on you and the same goes for Ghost Cat. Jake's volunteered to be your primary backup, but we want you to inform the team if you're taking him for an extended time. So," she nods, pleased with herself, "That's what we've got."

Wordlessly, I hand back the baby then sit on the edge of the bed.

"You smell like her," I finally say, nodding at Faith, "Or, she smells like you. There's a jumble of people on that blanket, and milk and diapers. I had a panic attack in the Danger Room because the door wouldn't open," I continue, trying ot make her understand that I'm a complete mess without straight out telling her that the mere thought of going on a mission worried me silly. I could freeze up, or get overwhelmed by smells. "The noises are too loud too," I say outloud without meaning to. Oh, and there's that disconnection in my brain. My new fear of water could be another problem, or how I completely flip out if I can't move or…

"Cougar," she snaps me out of my rising panic. Her green eyes stare steadily at me, "You make your choice whenever you're ready."

She left me shortly after that and I stayed sitting for twenty seven minutes before the loud knock on the door jarred me into attention.

"You in here, Fangs?"

"Uh huh," I dig my palms into my eyes. I'm tired and leave my one hand covering my face. It smells like baby. Which is why I don't smell the squiggling bundle that plops next to me on the bed.

"Got a present for you."

I stare at it. "A puppy?" The small mottled brown mutt blinks its blue puppy eyes at me then clumsily whips its tail around in excitement.

"No, a parrot," Jake sits on the other side of it. "Yes, a puppy, your puppy. She's your dog, Fangs." The corners of his eyes crinkle, the first real smile since they'd found me.

Holding my hand out to the puppy, I let her first sniff, then lick at my fingers, "Xavier's has a no pets rule." A rule, I don't admit, that I was constantly breaking while I was living under this roof.

She just happens to be from the city pound. Interestingly enough, Ms. Frost makes a large monthly donation to the local Humane Society, which is very active in rescuing dogs from the pounds. This large contribution is never supposed to be known by anyone outside of this room, by the way."

"Are you blackmailing Frost's reputation as a cold hearted woman for me?" I ask, tying not to fall in love with the furball.

"Yes," he answers with a shrug.

"Jake…" gently scratching along the puppy's back it wiggles my claws into the right spots. "I can't even take care of myself right now. I can't have a dog."

"She's scheduled to be put to sleep today. Just another mutt, dropped off in the streets. No one wanted her…"

"You're evil," I shake my head.

"Pets can be very therapeutic," he continues.

"Drop it, we both know I'm keeping her," I roll my eyes at his wide grin, watching him enjoy my defeat.

He has hazel eyes. Eyes the same as Trinity's. They sweep over my face, then lose their smile, "You OK Fangs?"

"The youngest was thirteen. We were all cats," I explain quietly. "The youngest was Trinity. I told her…all of them, that I'd get us out. That it'd be OK. We're the good guys. Why would I leave the good guys? They're supposed to win, right?" I stare at him, begging for him to lie to me.

"It doesn't always play out like that, Fangs," he stares at me sadly.

Expelling a shaky breath, I blink quickly and look down at the puppy. Her interest faded from my fingers and now she's sprawled between us, fighting to keep here eyes open. Her tail lashes back and forth for a moment as I pat her. "I don't know what ta do," I admit. "I've changed. I'm different. Being Ghost Cat made me different from being Cougar of the X-Men," Jake listens as I try to explain myself. "I punished people for what they did. I went head first into things that I knew were too dangerous. But I don't know if I want to do that anymore. I don't know if I like it anymore." Again, I shake my head to organize my thoughts. "How the hell am I supposed ta go back ta bein' an X-Men now?" I scowl at the floor, "Closed doors make me hysterical. The medlab makes me throw up. Bathtubs scare me, even…I can't focus, or concentrate, or sleep or breathe-"

"Calla," he pulls me back to his eyes and when he sees that I've calmed down he explains, "You've been hurt. Whether you want to admit it or not, they hurt you, and it'll take time to heal from that. Maybe that's why you wanted to come back here," he suggests. "This is where you came to heal after what Blackstone did to you, and after how Magneto tried to poison you with his views. This is where you got strong and learned to be Cougar. Going home heals all of us Fangs. So you got lost out there in the big world. Stay here, your home, and remember yourself. Stay and get stronger."

I press my lips together for a second before asking quietly, "You gonna stay with me?"

He gives my hand above the puppy a squeeze, then shakes his head, "For awhile, but you need to do this, Fangs. I'll be in Denver-our team will be in Denver-when you're ready.

I nod with a slight smile, feeling a little bit better already. "So what's her name?" I nod to the pup, whose leg is twitching with a dream.

"Pickles," Jake answers with a grin.

My smile drops, "What? What kinda name is Pickles?"

"It's a puppy name, Fangs. Its cute."

"No," I shake my head, "I am NOT having a dog named Pickles."

"Well, she's already named," he shrugs, enjoying my annoyance.

"Well, she's getting her name changed."

"OK, well, lets name her."

"Uh-uh," I shake my head at him, "You can't even come up with a code name for yourself. I'm not trusting you with my dog."

"What about Lassie?" he suggests, not listening to me, "Or Mary-Sue?"

"No-"

Or Dawg, you know, all slangy? Or Fido, retro-like."

"Oh my God, shut up!" I laugh, dragging him to his feet. "Go get some Chinese take out. I'll name her while yer gone."

"Chinese sounds awesome-" he snaps his fingers, "Awesome, that's the perfect name!"

"Go!" I shove him out the door. The puppy, awoken by our laughter, leaps off the bed and runs after me. Closing the door, I look down at her expectant face. "Pickles…" I mutter and shake my head.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I stayed in New York for four months. I trained with Wolverine, mastering my new powers, learning how to push away scents and sounds that I didn't need and focusing on what I as after. It took extensive training to get me back into shape. My physical strength took less time to regain than my psychological well being. I caved and let Frost counsel me, even letting her into my mind, just a little, to pull some mental photos of each of the girls from my memories. She thought it would help me heal if we could track down their families and friends, let them know that they'd been killed. That actually left me more angry than at peace, seeing some shrug off their tortures and deaths. But Logan reminded me that at least I was angry, it was a feeling other than panic or sadness.

I returned to the Denver school in time to see some of our first students graduate, Maria included. She didn't let on, but I knew she was glad that I was there to hear her announce that she would be going to New York and training as an X-Man, hopefully returning to Denver. I could tell that that made Joseph a little nervous, so she had my vote.

I took up the fourth option, if you hadn't guessed it. I was part-time teacher, part-time solo super hero and full time X-Man, because, even going without the team, I stuck truer to their beliefs than before. Publicly, though, I retired my Ghost Cat name. That superhero was always alone, always watching her own back. Jake went out with me every time, and I decided to just let him go (but only after he swore to me that he was going to help me, not protect me). Beside's, we work good together as partners.

This time around, I kept in touch with Jason, going out for drinks whenever he was in the area (though I always ended up being the designated driver since he and Jake enjoyed getting tanked together). On our first meeting since Logan and I were released from SHIELD, he informed me that either my memory was screwy, or there was another survivor. The bodies of the girls, drained of blood, had been recovered from a freezer. Eleven bodies. Trinity's was among them, but Sara's was missing. Because our powers were nearly identical, SHIELD stipulated that the experiment was carried out twice, on me and her as there'd be a better chance that at least one of us would survive. I wasn't supposed to know this, so Jason made sure to drink quite a bit before 'letting it slip'.

SHIELD hadn't been able to locate her yet, but I sent out an all points bulletin to every X-team and ally in the world to notify me of any sightings. Wolf's department was informed too, and she assured me that if anyone could find Sara, they could. A lot of my blood had been taken, too, so it was possible that she was given my 'unnoticeable' power. I'd just have to wait and see.

So that's the story, why I left the X-Men. I guess, I technically rejoined, but that's all part of the story. I hope you enjoyed and weren't too disappointed or bored.

Oh, yea, I named the puppy Dakota, incase you were wondering.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

OK, thanks, everyone, I enjoyed writing, and I really appreciate your reviews and patience in me as I took forever to finish this. Happy holidays, everyone! Keep reading and writing, and maybe I'll put out a couple short stories here and there about Cougar's adventures. THANKS! -Cougar9