Warnings: Ron is an arse. Brief suicidal thoughts. Completely unrealistic slash sex (dreams aren't meant to be realistic, after all). I've tried to make it a mature rated scene rather than MA, but the sex is important to the story, so I can't completely pull the curtain. Fair warning.
Chapter 28
Tearing at the Seams
22 APRIL
After a mostly sleepless night, Harry woke to the sound of shouting in the common room. Harry woke to the sound of shouting in the common room. In light of the current situation, he put aside the possibility of the horcrux in his scar for now. He might be wrong, after all. It might just be the stink of Voldemort's magic Isuri had smelled. At least, he hoped so. The prickling feeling in his gut warned him he wouldn't escape his fate so easily, but until he had something more than a smelly scar to go by, he couldn't be sure. And he didn't want to think of it anyway. Merlin knew he had enough to worry about without that added in.
Ron's booming voice knocked dust from the ceiling, and Harry winced. He could just imagine what he was shouting about, and if Dean was already awake—he glanced over to his friend's empty bed and winced—he had probably heard every word. With a grumble of irritation for Ron's wilful blindness and misplaced loyalty, he dressed quickly, used a spell on his teeth, raked a comb through his hair, and raced down the stairs. Just outside the entrance to the dorm, Neville and Dean stood by, watching with identical scowls as Hermione and Ron rowed a few paces away. Dread pooling in his belly, Harry moved to stand beside them and rubbed Dean's shoulder in solidarity.
"Ginny cried all night," Ron snarled to his girlfriend. "Don't tell me you're suddenly going to defend him now when she's so brokenhearted."
Hermione smacked her forehead, frustration rippling off her form in waves. "Gods, Ron, you're completely blind! I've been telling you for months that Ginny is obsessed with Harry. As in a mental illness! And she used Dean to get to him. She broke Dean's heart just to make Harry jealous. If there's anyone you should be angry with, it's your own bloody sister!"
Ginny, standing at the corner of the row, stomped her foot and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I like that! I'm not obsessed, and I was just trying to get over Harry! It didn't work."
Hermione scoffed. "Get over him my foot! You used Dean just to make Harry jealous."
"She said she didn't," Ron shouted. "Stop attacking her anyway. This is about Harry! What's so bad about my sister he doesn't want her?"
"You mean other than the fact that she continually harasses and assaults me after I've made it clear I'm not interested in the least?" Harry stepped out of the stairwell, Summoning his knapsack with a flick of his wrist—Severus' wandless magic lessons had started to pay off at last. "There's also the fact that she reminds me of my mother. Not to mention, she just used one of my best friends to get to me. Those kind of underhanded tactics do not impress me. At all."
He moved to Dean's side and held his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"N-not really," Dean said with a sniffle. He gave Harry a searching look. "Are you?"
Harry shuddered. "I… don't want to think about it. Maybe we were wrong anyway."
"Maybe." But Dean didn't look convinced. "Um, could we talk about it somewhere else though? Anywhere else?"
"Sure." Harry slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. "Neville, you in?"
"You bet," Neville said, his face a picture of disgust.
"Wait, wait, Harry," Ginny called. "I just wanted—"
"I don't care what you wanted," Harry cried, magic sparking on his breath. "Stay away from me, and stay away from my friends!"
Ginny sniffled and ran out of the portrait hole. Ron shot Harry a dark look and dashed after her.
"Well, that was pleasant," Harry said with a sigh. "Gods. This is getting old."
Neville snorted. "I second that."
Hermione approached, tears on her lashes. "H-Harry, I'm sorry. I just… I couldn't take his shouting any longer." She gave him a wry look. "I suppose the shoe is on the other foot now." But she looked weary and sad.
"Well, as long as you know where you went wrong, there's hope to change." Harry gave her a stern look. "But I don't trust you yet. You really hurt me, Hermione. Again and again. And for what? Better grades? Who cares? In the end, an outstanding is an outstanding no matter who takes first place."
Hermione bowed her head. "I know. I really screwed up. I'm sorry, Harry. That's all I can say. And I… I'm really trying to change. I still want to study and try to be the best I can, but I don't want to hurt people because of it. I don't want to be so arrogant as to think no one else could beat me on their own merit." She gave him a sad smile. "That was well done of you—the… the thing you made that saved your life this term, I mean. Amazing, really. How long have you been spellcrafting?"
She meant the vaccine, Harry supposed.
"Ah, since the Christmas hols. My friend taught me the basics and we ran with it from there." Harry gave her a hesitant smile and offered an olive branch. She really was trying, and the drive to mould him, to beat him had vanished from her emotions. Now, she just wanted her friend back. "Well, I… I suppose I can show you the other spells we invented, if you want?"
She beamed. "Oh, if you have time, I'd… I'd really like that."
He searched Dean's eyes. "Is it all right with you?"
Dean gave him a wan smile. "It's fine. I just didn't want to be near… them."
Harry nodded. "Understandable." He patted Dean's arm. "I really am… well, I know it's not my fault, but I hate that it's me she's after and hurting you because of it."
"Don't apologise. You have enough troubles of your own without worrying about mine. And, to be honest, I'm much more concerned about yours."
Harry grimaced. "I… yeah. As soon as I can face it, I'll talk to my other friend about it."
"I really think you should do," said Neville, his expression worried. "He might know of a way to…." He cast Hermione a look. "To stop it."
Harry closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I don't think there is a way, but I'm almost sure I jumped to conclusions anyway. It might just have been his magic on me, you know?"
Dean frowned. "Y-yeah… maybe you're right." He gave Harry a wan smile. "I hope you're right."
"So do I," Harry agreed vehemently.
"Harry?" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. "Um, are you okay?"
"I… not really, but I'll manage." He shook himself and pulled out his wand. "I was going to show you those spells anyway."
Judging by her expression, the promise of esoteric knowledge hadn't put off her worries entirely, and that alarmed and relieved him by turns. A Hermione in pursuit of answers was unstoppable—she would figure out the truth eventually—but the fact that she cared more about Harry than his spells gave him hope that maybe she really had learned her lesson. In spite of his lingering anger, he hoped she had. A part of him deeply missed his first friends, and it had hurt when they had turned him away.
"W-well, anyway, this is the first spell I helped create. Transveho Tabernus!" His shoes removed themselves and landed in a neat line next to his feet. "Then we thought we needed to reverse it, so… Induo Tabernus!" His shoes replaced themselves without knocking Harry down and tied themselves. "We designed it for people who are too injured to handle their own boots, but it sure comes in handy when you're in a hurry."
She gave him a sad smile. "I'm sure it does." Tears slipped down her face. "Oh, Harry. I've been… such a fool, and I've missed so much. You've changed so much and I… Gods, I should have let you teach me instead of insisting I knew best."
"Well, you're learning now," said Neville with a hesitant smile. "It's a start."
She sniffled and wiped her face. "R-right."
~SSHP~
30 APRIL
After his combat training with Severus, Harry crept up to the Astronomy Tower under his cloak. Sinistra's classes weren't due to start for another hour, so he had time to think, to mull over his fears before they drove him spare. He leaned on the parapet and stared out over the grounds.
A brilliant sunset painted the world vermillion, setting the forest ablaze with colour. The lake reflected the sky, a palette unbroken but for the giant squid splashing about near the centre. A herd of thestrals played near the edge of the forest, foals kicking up their heels and adults watching over them in serene contentment. The trees swayed in a gentle breeze and a smattering of stars twinkled on the far horizon.
The scene should have instilled some sense of awe and wonder in Harry, beautiful as it was, but even the draw of nature had no power to pull him from his dark thoughts. He traced a fingertip over his scar and winced at a sharp throb. It still ached from Occlumency practise earlier, and none of Severus' potions could completely ease the hurt. Even his chants fell short sometimes.
Did it mean Harry was a horcrux? He hadn't had a vision since the night Ginny had broken Dean's heart, nor had Isuri mentioned smelling Nagini in his scar again, but then, he had been too terrified to ask. He didn't know if he could cope if she said yes.
He leaned on his elbows and watched a thestral foal zoom about near the edge of the forest. Idly, he thought it had been a long time since he had fed them with Luna. To be fair, between his classes, Occlumency lessons, revision, his research into soul bonding spells, visiting Severus after curfew, and training combat twice a day—once with Severus and Dumbledore, and once to give the same lessons to his friends—he hadn't much time for anything else. Even so, maybe taking care of the animals with Luna would give him something to think about besides the war and his own mortality.
What if he was a horcrux? What did it mean? Would he have to die to save them all, or was there a way to save him?
The soul bonding spell popped into his head. If he could only find the proper catalyst to pull the soul bits from their containers—a bonding spell would only stick them to the whole once they had already been removed—was it possible he could use it to draw the horcrux from himself, if one existed? Then maybe Harry wouldn't need to die.
Hope bubbled up in him and washed away his fears… until Isuri shifted on his neck, and he realised it wouldn't be so simple.
A memory of Dumbledore's words echoed in his mind. "You can speak Parseltongue, Harry, because Lord Voldemort—who is the last remaining descendant of Salazar Slytherin—can speak Parseltongue. Unless I'm much mistaken, he transferred some of his own powers to you the night he gave you that scar."
The night Harry became a horcrux, if he was a horcrux. For all he knew, he might be a descendent of Slytherin himself. Purebloods did tend to intermarry quite often.
But if Harry was a horcrux and his abilities had come from Riddle, then the fact that he had learned to use Parseltongue so well, to the point where he could speak it at will these days whether he was staring at Isuri or not, then the horcrux had entwined itself with Harry's own soul. Perhaps too deeply to be removed without harming him.
Even if he managed to make a horcrux removing spell, he might still die before the battle truly begun. Or worse, he might not die. He might live, but without his soul. An empty shell. The glassy, vacant eyes of Barty Crouch flashed through his mind, and Harry shuddered against the cold dread creeping through his veins. Merlin, no. He would sooner die completely than exist as a husk for the rest of his days.
But would he have a choice in the end? If he really was a horcrux, he couldn't ignore it. If he did nothing, Riddle would live on until Harry died. If he stood by and lived on while the horcrux inside him remained, by the time Harry reached the end of his natural life span—assuming Riddle didn't kill him before then—there wouldn't be anything left of the wizarding world. All his friends might be lost. Dean, Neville, Luna, Hermione… Severus.
Gods. The thought of Severus spying for the rest of his life left him shaking in horror. Merlin, no. He couldn't bear the idea of even one more meeting for Severus, one more night of suffering and anguish, let alone a lifetime of them.
No. No, he couldn't simply stand by and watch his loved ones suffer. If he had to die, then he had to die. He would leap off the tower himself if he had to, if it meant he didn't become an empty shell and his friends survived.
He stared at the ground for an instant, tempted, but turned away with a fierce shake of his head. No. He didn't know for sure that he was a horcrux—it might honestly be traces of dark magic—but either way, he couldn't die yet. Even if it turned out that he had reason to fear, Harry still had to finish the soul spell and do everything he could to make sure the wizarding world had the power to end the war without him.
And he had to make sure Severus would survive. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving him alone to suffer.
Harry rubbed a hand across his eyes, forcing away his tears and his maudlin thoughts. He was getting ahead of himself. First, he had to make sure he was a horcrux, or all this worry was moot. With a sigh, he cleaned up the evidence of his tears and left the tower, heading towards the Room of Requirement.
Halfway to the Room, Neville and Luna met him in the corridor, holding hands and sporting shy blushes.
"H-hi, you two. I… um, I take it there's been a development?"
He tried to smile, to support them, but he failed to keep the quaver from his voice. Their joy did make him happy, and Harry wished them all the happiness in the world too, but the last time his close friends had started dating each other, it hadn't worked out in his favour. Merlin, he didn't know what he would do if he lost them too.
"Don't worry, Harry," said Luna with a dreamy smile. "We love each other, but we love you too. We're not going anywhere."
Harry beamed, worries of horcruxes and lost friendships washed away in a rush of sheer wonder. "Oh Merlin, Lu. That's the first time I've ever heard t—"
Fuck. He'd said too much. He snapped his mouth shut and looked away, praying they hadn't noticed.
"Uh, I mean, c-congratulations. I hope it goes well for you."
"The Feathersprites seem to think we'll be fine together," said Neville with a frown. "Unlike Ginny and Michael Corner, poor sod. But, Harry, no one's ever said they love you before?"
Harry grimaced and ruffled his hair. "Er… I s-suppose my mum and da must have done, but I don't really remember it."
Neville scowled. "I knew you weren't happy at home. Are you okay? I mean, we go back for the summer in two months. Will you be all right?"
Harry gave a dark laugh. "Oh, this time I will be. I don't need my wand to cast any longer—at least a few spells, and I'm learning more all the time. If they try to hu—I mean, if they get tetchy, I'll remind them I'm not a helpless little boy anymore."
Neville stared, eyes wide with shock. Luna's face held understanding and sympathy.
"I'll be sure to send you loads of good food, Harry," Luna said.
Harry blushed. "No gumbleroots or plimpies, please."
Luna chuckled. "No, no. Food you like."
Harry crossed his arms over his chest and followed Luna towards the Room of Requirement. "Lu, do you know? I mean, what it's like there?"
She cocked her head. "Well, the Clarents and Feathersprites don't tell me everything. But I've seen enough to have a fair idea."
Harry winced, shame weighing him down and slowing his steps. "I d-don't… you don't hate me?"
"Merlin, no! Why would I? They're the horrible people who abuse you. You've done nothing wrong."
Harry sniffled and lowered his head, overcome. "T-thanks. I… it's always been my fault. Or that's what they want me to believe, anyway. Isuri's been trying to help me with that, but I guess it's harder to overcome than I thought."
She rubbed his back. "Yes, it is difficult to find faith in yourself when those who should love you have torn you to pieces, but don't let them poison you. You're a good man, Harry. And a very good friend."
He gave her a sad smile. "So are you. Well, minus the man bit."
Luna tittered. "I am definitely not a man!"
"And thank Merlin for that." Neville wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders. "You can stay with me, mate. Gran is… well, she's strict, but she's not abusive."
"I can't. The blood wards—well, I don't know if they really keep me safe, but you can bet your arse Dumbledore won't let me go anywhere but straight back to hell." Harry scowled. "I'm almost positive he knows, too. That he's doing it on purpose to train me."
Luna grimaced. "The Feathersprites aren't absolutely certain, but either way, we'll be here for you even if he isn't. And you have your secret weapon now."
"Weapon?"
Isuri poked her head out of Harry's collar. ~I think she is speaking of me, Master. If they hurt you, I will bite them.~
Harry grinned and petted Isuri's head. "You're right. I guess I'll be fine then." And he mightn't have long left to worry about it anyway. Hoping his shields hid his thoughts from his intuitive friend, he gave Luna a sad smile. "You can tell Neville and Dean what you know, if you want. And Daphne, Blaise, and Millie. I just… I don't want to be there to hear it. It's hard to—you understand?"
She nodded. "I will help them understand when you're visiting your Slytherin friend."
Harry smiled. "That'll do. Thanks, Lu."
"Not at all. But, Harry, you should tell your other friend yourself soon. About your past, your Empathy, and your fears about your scar. He wants to help you, and I'm afraid you might run into misunderstandings soon if you don't begin to open up a little. Perhaps tonight. Talk to him, please. I can't read your thoughts, but I can sense your worries, and we're all scared for you too."
Harry shuddered. "Oh gods. I can't. I mean, about my scar, I reckon I do need his help, but it's just so… I'm not sure I can face it yet. And I don't want to worry him for nothing. What if it's just a dark magic trace? I have to know before I talk to him. It would kill him if I… if I have to…."
Luna hugged him tight. "Okay. If you need to know first, then that's okay. But please, talk to him about the rest. You need to open up to someone, even if it's not us, and Professor Snape cares about you."
Harry pulled away and covered his face with his hands. "I can't, Lu. I think he knows something isn't right, but I just… what if I tell him and he thinks I'm a freak? If I lost him…."
She patted his shoulder. "Yes, your heart would break, but have you forgotten that he has experienced the same kind of things? I think he would accept you, Harry. You really should tell him soon. Please."
Harry sighed. "I… I'll try. I promise I'll try."
"Good." She rubbed his shoulder, then paced the floor in front of the Room three times. "Now, should we go over what you learned in lessons today?" She opened the newly-formed door and led Harry into their usual training room. "He taught you some new combat moves?"
Harry forced his focus to training and off of his worries. "Actually, um, Dumbledore did. I'm fighting the old man now since I can't attack Severus. I have absolutely no issues using Dumbledore's wrinkled old arse for anger management."
Neville and Luna burst into giggles.
"Too much information, Harry!" Neville snorted. "Gods. Maybe just show us the moves? I'm going to have nightmares about Dumbledore's arse now."
Harry laughed and started his lesson.
~SSHP~
After training, Harry returned to his dorm, set his silencing and barrier wards, and dropped into bed like a stone. Training combat twice was good exercise, but gods, did it ever wear him out. He used his spell on his shoes, transfigured his denims into pyjama bottoms, and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
As a result of his exhaustion, he forgot to take the Dreamless Sleep formula Severus had modified for him.
~…Dream…~
Harry was dreaming of the young Severus again. He found himself hanging next to his friend, upside down and naked, while his family looked on and jeered. Then Sirius reached between Severus' legs, grabbing what didn't belong to him, and Harry saw red.
"Get off! Get off of him!"
A blast of magic threw everyone back and dropped Harry and Severus to the ground. Again, the fall broke Harry's nose, but he ignored the pain and took a sobbing Severus into his arms.
"Ssh, ssh. I dow. I dow it hurts. You're safe dow, I swear."
Severus laid his hand over Harry's face and whispered, "Episkey."
Harry yelped as his nose set and a wandless Tergeo wiped up the blood. He buried his head in Severus' neck and breathed in the scent of his hair.
"Thank you, Sev," he whispered. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."
Severus slipped a hand into Harry's hair. "Do you know what I thought of to heal you?"
Harry shook his head and burrowed closer. "What?"
Severus leaned back and tipped Harry's chin up. "You."
Harry gasped and went rigid. "M-me? You… really?"
Severus went bright pink. His blush trailed down to his chest. "Y-yes. Will you stay?"
"Sev…." Harry sighed and leaned in, brushing his lips over Severus' and thrilling in the feel of him. "Yeah. I love you too."
Severus gasped against Harry's lips and melted into him. "Make love to me," he breathed when they broke apart. "Make me feel you and only you."
Harry moaned. The scenery shifted around them, the grounds of Hogwarts melting away into a blue and silver bedroom with a big four poster at the centre. "Sev… are you sure?"
"Yes." Severus lay beside Harry and trailed a hand down his chest, tracing a thin line of dark hair lower than anyone had ever touched before. "I am sure. I want my first to be you."
Harry groaned and arched into Severus' hand, heat and passion curling within him. "Please, please. Let me…." He trailed a hand down Severus' back and prepared his young lover with a gentle touch. Severus thrilled in it, mewling and panting into his neck, pleading for more.
Suddenly, Severus was atop Harry, taking him to the root in one fell swoop. Gods, he felt like silk and heat, wrapped so tight around him Harry thought he might break to pieces.
"Yeah, yeah, wanted you too." Harry bucked up and curled his fingers into Severus' hair. "Sev, you feel so good."
"I… oh, Harry. Ah, claim me. Make me yours alone."
"Sweet Merlin!" Harry grabbed Severus' hips and made passionate love to him. "Mine, love. You are mine."
Severus howled and arched back, revealing a long, slender throat. Harry teased it with his tongue, tracing tiny beads of sweat and Severus' natural taste. Gods, he loved it. Sweet and salty in one. Severus moaned and clutched at Harry's face, his body falling into their rhythm.
"Harry, yes, yes."
Harry looked up, and suddenly it wasn't the boy Severus making love to him, but the adult.
Severus leaned back and held his gaze. "I am not a good man, Harry."
"You are. And I love you anyway."
Severus watched him, eyes soft with deep love. "I wish to claim you as well."
Harry moaned and eased out of his body. "Yeah. Please."
Severus guided Harry onto his stomach and eased his legs apart. "So lovely. Gods, you are so lovely."
Harry moaned as a spell cleaned and prepared him, and Severus lifted him to his knees. With the ease of dreams, he was suddenly full and hot with the feel of Severus within him, and he cried out at the sensation.
"Oh, Sev'rus. Yes, love. Make me yours."
"Yes, mine." Severus laid his head against Harry's back as he made love to his mate, kissing what he could reach and tracing one hand down Harry's front. "Gods, you feel so good. Have you ever done this before?"
"No. You're the first to claim me."
"Ah, good. I want to be the last as well."
"Yeah, I want that too."
Soon, Harry lost himself to the passion of his love, the feel and scent of Severus' body, the pulse of their bodies merging as one.
"Sev'rus!" White hot pleasure surged over him and set him howling. He came to, Severus still within him, but quiet, panting into Harry's back as he spooned him close.
Severus gasped out, "Gods, that was… incredible."
Harry panted, "I love you," and woke to the sound of hissing in his ear.
~…|…~
~Master? Why are you mating with air?~
Harry bolted up with a gasp. "Dear gods." He winced at the feel of wetness in his pants. ~Isuri, did I just have a… a mating dream about Severus?~
~You did call for him.~
Harry groaned and flopped back onto the bed. ~That… explains a lot.~
Isuri gave a snakish laugh. ~I think you want to make a mating ball with Severus.~
~Oh Merlin! Merlin! I-I think you are right.~ He groaned and cleaned himself up with a quick spell. ~But it cannot be. He would never see me like that, Isuri. I am too young and we have too much bad history.~
~Why does that matter? You are both mature. Mate and be happy.~
Harry gave a wry laugh. ~If only it were that simple.~
~Such unnecessary worrying. It is that simple. He puts his male parts in you, you put yours in him, you make little human babies.~
Harry nearly choked on his tongue. ~Um, two men cannot m-make babies together, Isuri. And, dear gods above, I think I am going to die of embarrassment now.~
~Because I spoke of mating?~ She flickered her tongue and shook her head slowly. ~You humans are strange creatures.~
~Yes, we are that to a snake, I suppose.~ Harry rubbed his face and sat up. Thank Merlin his dormmates were still asleep. ~I must wash before breakfast, so I need to leave the nest now. I have lessons early.~
The thought of seeing Severus again left him shaking, and Harry made a note to skive off his training for once. It was simply too dangerous to go until he could control his thoughts.
Gods. If the man saw that image in Occlumency lessons….
"Merlin help me," he muttered.
~SSHP~
Harry sent Severus a Patronus with the excuse that he was feeling a bit under the weather and dashed to the Room of Requirement with Neville and Luna. Dean was still grieving, and Harry didn't think it right to bother him with his news. Neville had his books in tow, but he waited to find out what had upset Harry so much before starting on his revision.
"Um… I need to talk to you two about something," Harry said, twisting his hands over each other and pacing the length of their usual study table.
Luna grinned. "Oh my. The Ticklebees are flying through your ears, Harry."
Neville choked. "What? You're in love, Harry?" He blushed. "Um, it's not me, is it? You know I love you, mate, but I can't… love you, if you get my drift."
Harry snorted. "No worries, Neville. I know you're the straightest man alive, except for maybe Ron. Anyway, Luna would probably hurt me if I tried."
Luna tittered. "He is all mine."
"Yeah, I know." Harry dropped his head into his hands. "In my case, I'm afraid it's much more complicated. I… this morning, I had a dream of… S-Severus."
Neville's eyes bugged. "Professor Snape? You're in love with him?"
"I d-don't know, but… I think so. That's why I wanted to talk to you lot. I don't want to hurt him, you know?"
Neville shook his head and sat beside his friend. "You never do anything the easy way, do you?"
Harry gave a wry laugh. "I'm a masochist, apparently. But gods, Nev. What do I do? Severus is so afraid of touch. I don't know what happened for sure—or at least, I get the feeling I don't know everything—"
"The Clarents agree," said Luna. "There's some dark story in his past he can't reveal yet. I can't either. The Feathersprites warned me he'd be furious with both of us if I did so."
"That's for the best," said Neville with a shake of his head. "It's best Professor Snape tell him when he's ready."
"I agree," said Harry, "but in the meantime, what do I do about this? He's so traumatised and gods, if he sees that dream in my head, it's not going to be pretty."
"Well, you can Occlude now, can't you? Make sure it's good and hidden."
Harry winced. "I can Occlude from you, Neville. And your everyday Legilimens. Luna and Dumbledore still get through my shields, as does Severus. He only sees glimpses, but a glimpse of this at the wrong time…."
Neville frowned. "Well, just try not to think of it then. That's all I can tell you."
"Easier said than done."
Luna gave Harry a sad smile. "Harry, whatever happens, just remember he does care about you. It will be all right."
Harry shivered. "It's… not going to go well, is it?"
"The Feathersprites haven't shown me anything. I only want you to remember he loves you."
Harry held her gaze. "Is he in love with me?"
"Time will tell."
"So you don't know."
"No, but you can trust him, Harry. With your heart and your past."
He sighed and hugged his knees to his chest. "I… I'll try to talk to him about it, but in the meantime, what do I do about this? How do I handle it?"
"I think… you should just try to go on as normal for now," Neville said with a shake of his head. "It's too soon to do anything, and it's kind of illegal anyway."
Harry groaned. "I know, I know. I can't do anything yet even if he was in love with me. But should I, when it's safe?"
Luna gave him a dreamy smile. "I think your Ticklebees might just bring Professor Snape away from the mist-creepers, Harry."
"Just take it slow, Harry," Neville cautioned. "The man is damaged. If you push too hard or go too fast, he might break. You need to be sure about your feelings before you act on them anyway."
Harry closed his eyes. "I… I'm pretty sure, honestly. But that's not the only issue at stake here. What if I really am a horcrux? Even if everything goes well between us, even if we end up falling completely in love with each other, I still might have to die and leave him broken in pieces. Should I even try, considering that?"
Luna stared into space, her silvery eyes taking on the ethereal shade he had long learned to associate with her Feathersprites and knowledge beyond her ken. "The future is never certain, Harry, and love is always a risk, but it just might save your soul, if you let it."
"My soul…."
Harry shivered, the hair on his arms standing on end. He hadn't told his friends about his darkest fears—sightless eyes, useless body, empty soul. To spare them pain, he had hidden them away under his strongest Occlumency shields, and he knew Luna couldn't see past them on her own.
Something or someone had just given him an answer, even if he didn't understand it yet.
He swallowed hard and gave her a tentative smile. "M-maybe you're right, Luna. I mean, I guess it's worth a try, when it's safe and we're both ready."
She nodded and smiled serenely. "I think so too."
He let his legs down and stretched, feeling better for his talk and Luna's spiritual intervention. "Thanks, you two. Might make it through Occlumency tomorrow in one piece now."
"Good luck," Neville said with a grin.
"Thanks. So what did you need help with earlier, Nev?"
"Astronomy. Ugh. I can never get the charts right."
"Well, that's not so bad." Luna took Neville's book and, together, they set to work.
