Does anyone else feel that the quality of these has been slipping lately? My current Saiyuki obsession is making thinking of Bleach difficult, and I've been scrambling to post every Saturday. My sincerest apologies. In happier news, this story reached over twenty thousand hits after last week's chapter, so thank you all very much! It's always good to know that other people have a higher opinion of my work than I do.

Today's chapter was requested a very long time ago by crimsonhyourinmaru, who had a strange phobia for me to try out on Soi Fon. I almost feel sorry for her...

Title: Surprise!

Featuring: Soi Fon, Isane, Matsumoto, Hinamori, Omaeda


Soi Fon's mouth tightened in anger as she approached the second division headquarters. At this time of evening, there should be lights burning inside, and the shadows of her subordinates working hard should be cast upon the paper windows. Instead, all was still and dark.

Already planning the tirade she intended to unleash as soon as she found them, Soi Fon slid open the door to her office and stepped inside. Her hand immediately fell to her waist where Suzumebachi waited, ready for action. Something wasn't right. She could feel other presences in the room…

"SURPRISE!" everyone yelled as balls of kido lit the room and balloons and streamers fell from the ceiling. "Happy birthday!"

As the noisemakers died down, an uneasy silence fell over the room. "Where did she go?" Isane asked, wondering.

"Up there!" Matsumoto cried, then doubled over laughing.

Everyone looked up to see Soi Fon spread-eagled clinging desperately to the ceiling, her eyes wide with terror.

"Soi Fon-taichou?" Hinamori asked, her head tilted to the side in puzzlement. "What's wrong?"

"Get them away from me!" Soi Fon breathed.

Hinamori glanced around the room at the other guests. "Who are you talking about?"

"Them!" Soi Fon said, pointing dramatically. Unfortunately, without the hand she had removed from the ceiling to point, she couldn't hold on any longer, and fell from the ceiling head-first into the cake, which splattered all over the room and the assembled guests.

In the stunned silence that followed, Omaeda wiped a streak of icing from his cheek and licked it thoughtfully. "Mmm, vanilla," he said happily.

With this, the entire room burst out laughing.

x

"Taichou's so mean to make us clean all this up," Omaeda muttered, pushing a broom across the floor.

"Well, we were laughing at her," Hinamori said, her lips twitching into another smile at the thought of Soi Fon's nosedive. "Did anyone get any pictures?"

"I wish," Matsumoto grumbled as she picked up streamers. "It would have been a good one to add to my collection…"

"What collection, Rangiku-san?" Hinamori asked.

Matsumoto winked. "You'll see!"

"It still isn't fair Taichou only made us clean up," Omaeda said. "Just because everyone else ran before she got the icing out of her eyes!"

"I still can't figure out what Soi Fon-taichou was so scared of," Hinamori said thoughtfully. "Do you know, Omaeda-san?"

Omaeda's face lit up with an evil grin. "Come back here in the morning and I'll show you. Omaeda Marechiyo cleans up after no one!"

x

Soi Fon entered her office and checked carefully before she entered. It seemed like the three fukutaichou had done a good job of cleaning, and they were all gone. She strode to her desk and settled herself into her chair.

"Omaeda!" she called. "Bring me this morning's paperwork!"

There was no answer. Soi Fon tapped her foot impatiently, and called again. "Omaeda! Where are you, you lazy oaf?"

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Why do I keep that idiot anyway?" she muttered, stretching to relieve her frustration.

She froze. There was something under her desk. Something soft, and giving, and rubbery

x

Omaeda snickered as a scream came from Soi Fon's office and Matsumoto and Hinamori jumped. "What was that?" Hinamori squeaked.

"Sounds like Taichou found the balloon I left under her desk," he sniggered.

The two women exchanged looks. "That was what Soi Fon-taichou was so scared of?" Hinamori eventually said.

"The most feared woman in Soul Society is scared of balloons?" Matsumoto giggled. "Oh, I just have to tell them for the next SWA meeting…"


Soi Fon is so fun to torment! Sorry it took me so long, crimsonhyourinmaru. I hope you enjoyed it!