I bet none of you thought you'd see an update for this, did you?
But I made a promise that I have to keep.
I got a PM in May from a girl named Veronyca, another author here on the site-that-shall-not-be-named (her penname is "Stargirl Veronyca"). She said she was a fan of this story, and has started writing her own ending, and was wondering if I could post it here, what I've written. I was blown away, stunned that anyone loved this story so much. While I'd already planned and written the ending as I imagined it, I was more than happy to include her take on the ending. So, five months later, here we are.
If you squint, it can actually accompany the epilogue I wrote. You can imagine both happening at once, which is really cool. Props to Veronyca for that. In fact, it goes alongside my ending in the same way that this whole story goes alongside the canon world that J.K. Rowling created, which is kind of poetic if you think about it.
Disclaimer: All credit goes to Veronyca Chaliss ("Stargirl Veronyca"). I'm just the beta for this one.
And now, here's how the story might have ended…
…
An Alternate Ending (Fan-Written Epilogue)
…
When I got home that night, the night they pulled her life-support, I pretended to go to sleep.
But instead, I cried. Endlessly. I cried as if I had never really cried before, letting loose sounds that were barely human. My soul was weighed down with pain. My body was a casket full of grief.
Maddie was dead and I couldn't save her.
Throughout the night I drifted in and out of sleep. At one point I almost did.
But there were voices calling from beyond.
I threw my hands up to cover my ears, but that seemed to only amplify the noise.
Finally, not being able to stand it anymore, I apparated, hoping that the voices would leave me alone if I went elsewhere. I hadn't exactly thought it through, but a passing thought of Hogwarts was enough to send me there. But instead of silencing the voices, it made it worse, and the voices blended into a continuous screaming inside my head.
I walked to the forest, trying to block out the voices that tore through my shattered mind. I reached the start of the forbidden forest and looked to the stars.
Draco, the voices called out. Draco…
I looked down from the sky and ran. Like when I apparated, I didn't run to a chosen destination. I just ran… ran away from the voices, away from my past, away from the pain, away from everything I knew…
Away from Maddie.
I just wanted to die.
It felt like I was dying.
The trees loomed over me, the darkness closing in… it seemed almost eager for me to become a part of it. I ran far… so far… hoping that no one would ever be able to find my body.
I tripped and fell onto my knees, pain sizzling through me.
Draco. More of those infernal voices.
I let out a guttural, earth-shattering scream, gripping my head in my hands.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed. But it was a whisper, so so quiet beneath the roar of the voices.
I could feel hot tears on my cheeks. If I could think then, I might have been surprised. After the many hours I'd already spent sobbing, how could there be anything left?
I was on my knees, my chest pressed against my jeans. I rocked myself back and forth, mumbling incoherent words.
There was a stabbing pain in my chest, and I was sure it was my heart. My heart, finally breaking, finlly shattering into pieces so small and so many they were like sand.
I wonder if that was what it was like for all those people Voldemort killed. I wonder if that is what it feels like to die - not that peaceful final breath that you wish for, but a chest-crushing pain like lava coursing through your veins while ice freezes your bones.
I rested my head on the ground. I just wanted to sleep. To die. To stop existing.
But then, for a brief moment, I thought I heard a single familiar voice calling to me above the screams of the others.
"Maddie?" I whispered.
I got no reply.
It wasn't Maddie. It couldn't have been Maddie. It was just the voices playing tricks on my mind. It had to be.
Something like terror coursed through my mind, and I found myself apparating home, to my room. I didn't know what was happening, why the screaming wouldn't stop, why they wouldn't leave me alone.
Was this my punishment? Because I couldn't save Maddie? Because I didn't try hard enough? Was it because of what I'd done in the Dark Lord's service?
I crawled into bed and hid under the sheets like a child, ashamed and confused by my own fear.
After an eternity of screaming voices and endless tears, my exhaustion finally took over and I fell asleep.
Thank god it was a dreamless sleep.
…
I slept past midday, and only woke up then because there was an uncomfortable - borderline painful – feeling in my hand. I sat up from my bed and felt something cold burn into my skin. An item dropped from my hand - a stone - and sizzled on the floor.
Huh? What the-
A knock at the door startled me.
I kicked the stone under the bed for closer inspection later.
"Come in."
The door opened to reveal, of all people, Harry Potter.
After the night I'd had, I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to yell at him for failing to protect the innocent. Though it was foolish and unfair, I wanted to blame him for Maddie, for the army of dead the Death Eaters left in their wake. But I didn't have the energy to scream any more.
As I opened my moth to tell the Boy Who Lived to sod off, he interrupted me.
"Draco, I just want to talk," he said, holding his hands up in defense.
I could see that, but I certainly didn't have any desire to talk, and I stared at him with all the menace I could muster.
"Look, I know we have never see eye to eye, but I want to help you. And that starts with us being able to talk."
"Leave me alone." I whispered under my breath.
"Draco, can we just talk-"
"Leave me alone, Potter." I repeated, trying to keep my voice stable. I couldn't let myself fall apart again. Especially not in front of him.
Potter's face morphed into confusion… and something like concern. "You're… Is something going on? You seem… different."
"Please... just… leave me alone…" I practically begged.
He looked like he wanted to say more, but apparently thought better of it. "I just want to know if you know anything about the Dark marks outside the houses nearby," he said finally.
If I wasn't already sitting down, I probably would have collapsed.
My heart thundered, and anger rushed in my ears. Some newfound strength fueled me and I screamed, "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? NOTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT PLACE, THE PEOPLE WHO DIED THERE! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT…" My mind stopped, my rage disappearing as quickly as it came.
Maddie.
"Draco?" Potter ventured, looking more concerned about me than I'd ever seen him. "Are you… okay?"
Tears were flowing freely down my face, I realized. I wasn't sure when that started.
"Did you…" he began cautiously, "did you set those houses on fire?"
"HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST," I began, but broke off, unable to continue.
Green eyes watched me carefully.
"What's going on?" he finally asked, tired of trying to solve the puzzle himself.
"I've lost people too, you know," I hissed.
Potter still looked confused, but some part of him had started to understand.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"I don't want your pity." But I needed it. I needed someone to care.
"Can I-"
"EXPELLIARMIS!"
Harry smashed into my bookshelf.
"I know you're just trying to help, but I don't want it." I said through gritted teeth.
Harry was blinking vision back into his eyes, and looked at me, utterly stupefied.
The silver logical part of my brain was telling me to talk to someone about this. The other part of my brain wasn't working at all.
I sank into my knees, eyes burning with pain. It seems I'd finally run out of tears to shed.
I tucked my head against my knees, no longer able to face the world around me.
"Maddie," I breathed. "I'm sorry."
I stayed like that until Potter gave up and left, closing the door behind him.
He didn't come back.
Neither of my parents ever showed up. I'm not sure why. Perhaps they had been nearby, watching my confrontation with the so-called Chosen One. But I imagine they knew I didn't want to see anyone.
I drifted off in that position for a short time. When I woke up, I urged myself to stand. After what seemed like hours, I managed to haul myself onto my bed. I reached for my wand but stopped. A note sat under my wand, signed by Harry Potter himself.
I started at the note, but I dare not open it. I feared what it might say.
So instead, I thought to investigate the strange stone that had burned my hand with it's cold.
From under my bed, it was shining. It looked like a diamond. But as I looked closer I saw that it really was just a stone.
I kneeled down and picked it up, turning it over in my hand. A strange marking was carved into the stone, a marking that I now know to be the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.
"Draco," a familiar voice called from behind me.
"Maddie?" I turned to face a girl I knew to be dead, thinking maybe it was just the voices again. But there she was, standing in front of me, talking to me.
"Hello." She smiled her eyes lighting up like they use to when she was still alive. But she couldn't be alive, it wasn't possible. But then… when you live in a world of magic…
"A-are you real?" I stammered.
"Of course." She smiled, walking closer to me.
I held out my wand, adopting a defensive stance. "Prove it." I whispered.
"Oh, Draco," she said. She moved closer to me, and suddenly her hand was on my arm and I could feel it on my arm, gently nudging my wand arm down.
She moved slowly, and then she was pressing her lips against mine and winding her arms around my neck and I was sure I'd died too and I didn't care.
Obviously, I kissed back. And it was wonderful. I will not give you the details - it was a kiss, honestly, come to your own conclusions.
Eventually, I pulled away. "Maddie."
"Draco."
"How are you here?"
She gestured towards the stone - the resurrection stone - which was still clutched in my hand.
"You probably know more about it than I do."
"Oh," I said dumbly.
She laughed again. "Tell me about magic," she asked eagerly.
I swallowed. "Alright. But some of it might make you regret being my friend."
"Nothing could make me regret being your friend, Draco."
"If you say so," I said, grinning. "This might take a while, though, so you should sit down."
…
I told her everything, from when we first met till that very moment.
She listened quietly, absorbing all the information into her. By the time I had finished a streak of light gleamed through my window. A new day.
And Maddie was silent.
"You hate me." I looked down at the floor, ready for the rejection, certain it was to come. My chest hurt. I didn't want to lose her again.
"I could never hate you, Draco," she soothed, getting down on her knees to be face to face with me.
"But I killed you." I avoided Maddies eyes, waiting for her to become angry with me. The statement was close enough to the truth.
"No, you didn't kill me Draco. Don't say that."
Maddie moved her hand too cup my cheek, but I moved away, unable to forgive myself for what I'd done. I didn't deserve forgiveness.
Maddie sighed. "You know… for a while I wondered what my life meant. Regularly, I'd come up with all kinds of meaningless things, but … ever since you came along, I felt more alive than ever. I wanted to spend every moment I had with you, I didn't care if it was only a minute, I just wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you. You are the reason I was alive for so long. And I have lived a great life Draco, a life that was great in part because I spent some of it with you and there is nothing I regret. Nothing."
I looked back at her. "You mean it?"
"Of course I do, stupid."
She smiled and it was like everything was back to the way it was supposed to be. Maybe even better.
Except.
She was dead.
"Will you come back tomorrow?" I asked, sounding like a six year old.
She nodded, and then started to fade.
"Oh, yeah," she said, only half visible, "Read that note. You might find something in there you want to know."
I blinked as she faded even more.
"Wait-"
"See you tomorrow, Draco."
And she disappeared completely.
My eyes teared up and I said to the air that was her moments before, "I love you."
…
A few minutes later, I ripped open the envelope, desperate to get it over and done with.
It was from Harry bloody Potter. My lifelong enemy, who I'd hated as long as I'd loved Maddie.
But she had said I should, so I did.
Draco,
I know we have never been the best of friends, but I still hope you know I mean what I'm about to say.
I'm sorry for everything I have ever done to you that has gotten you in trouble or hurt.
I'm sorry for the way I treated you at Hogwarts. I can't help but think now that maybe if you'd had better friends, things would be different. For you, and for all of us. I hope I don't have anything to do with your current situation.
I hope that if you need to talk about anything that you know you can talk to me and that I want to mend the bridge between us, as do Ron, Hermione and Ginny. (We had a discussion about it, but eventually we all agreed...)
I hope that, even if you don't tell me now, you'll tell me someday what you lost; I want to be able to help you, like your mother helped me.
Harry Potter
P.S. Your mother lied to Voldemort about me being alive. She said I was dead. She saved my life.
"You really don't want to know Harry," I muttered. "It's too much for now. But… maybe one day the time will come."
…
The next couple of years, Maddie and I talked every day.
I told her what I did that day and why.
She helped me regain some of my humanity and most of my sanity.
Around the time I started working at Ollivander's Wand Shop was the same time we started talking less.
At first I had lots of things going on and it was so hard to find time, but after a while I moved on.
I met a girl and was too embarrassed to tell Maddie, so I would find excuses not to talk to her, so I didn't have to tell her about this new girl.
Eventually we only talked every month or so, it was so infrequent, so different.
The last day I ever saw Maddie was the day I proposed to Astoria Greengrass.
Three months later, our wedding day arrived. Though, te wedding was starting soon, there was something I had to take care of first.
I apparated to the lake around Hogwarts where I'd found the stone, far away from the wedding. A place where I would never go again.
I took the stone in my hand, and held it out in my palm.
"Goodbye." I whispered to the stone - to Maddie.
I drew back my hand and threw the stone as far as I could, as hard as I could, then watched as it hit the water and disappeared.
I waited for the tears to come. I waited for the pain, the crippling agony of losing her all over again. But nothing came. No guilt, no regret. I felt free, I felt happy, like I could live again without clinging to my past. The part of me that I'd lost when I first lost Maddie had been filled in, but at the same time, she still had a place in my heart.
I watched as the ripples in the water expanded and eventually vanished, before apparating back to my wedding. Just in time.
Astoria was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, and beautiful by anyone else's standard too.
Most of the rest was a blur, right up until the words, "You may kiss the bride."
Anyone who was super keen attention might have seen the slight hesitation I had before I kissed Astoria.
Astoria and I's relationship wasn't particularly physical, but I had kissed her before. But I couldn't' help but think about another girl, the girl I shared my first kiss with, the girl I might have been standing at the alter kissing if fate hadn't struck her down. The only other girl I'd ever imagined a life with.
But the moment passed, and I let go of what I could've had with Maddie and with a kiss, sealed my future with Astoria.
In the corner of my eye I saw Harry in the back row with Ron, Hermione(who was pregnant) and Ginny, smiling their heads off.
To be honest, I didn't expect them to come, but now I have to admit I'm genuinely happy they did.
…
After the party had started and the stars were more beautiful than ever, I made my way through the crowd to the boy I once hated.
"Congratulations," Harry Potter said, staring at the sky
"Thanks," I said. "I didn't really expect you to come."
A silence fell that seemed to last for a while before I spoke again.
"I read the note," I said. "When you came to visit after the Battle of Hogwarts."
Potter looked at me quizzically, and then he seemed to recall.
"One day," I said tentatively, "I might tell you. What I lost. Not now, but… someday I might like to."
"I hope you do. I have a feeling there's a lot I don't know… Anyway, enjoy your night. I know we'll see each other again."
He walked away, leaving me to stare at the stars.
In the sky, I could see the constellation Scorpio - her star sign - shining down, almost as if Maddie was watching me.
I'll never forget you, Maddie.
…
I did tell Harry about Maddie. Eventually.
Took me over ten years though.
It was the same day I waved mine and Astoria's son Scorpius off to his first year of Hogwarts.
It was strange to talk about it after so long. It had been nineteen years since she died. It had been a while since I thought about what I said to Potter at my wedding, but I found myself thinking about Maddie a lot that day, remembering how it felt to push her away when I went off to Hogwarts because she wasn't a witch.
And when I saw the Potter family there, I decided it was time.
After I bid Scorpius goodbye, I invited Potter to lunch, which he agreed to with a minimal amount of suspicion.
We never did become friends.
I reminded him of the letter and what I said to him all those years ago and I asked him if he still cared.
He did.
So I told him. Not everything, just who she was, and what she was to me.
I told him how Maddie changed my way of thinking, and that I wanted to raise my son better.
I had made sure that Scorpius knew that not all Mudbloods are bad, and he should try his best to remember that. I also told him that he should accept everyone, but still be the best Slytherin ever.
Hey, I'm still a Malfoy, that isn't going to change.
But most importantly I made sure he knew that everyone was capable of change.
Since then, I've noticed that Potter looks at me differently. Despite everything, he'd always looked at me with a small degree of suspicion. I suppose he was never sure he could trust me.
Now, though, what I see in his eyes is kinship. The knowledge that we aren't so different after all.
…
REVIEW!
And don't forget to check out Veronyca's account – Stargirl Veronyca!
I know she worked hard on this story, and I had a lot of fun doing my part in editing too. I put my heart and soul into writing this story, and it's unlike anything I've ever written. But I'm proud of what I made, and I wouldn't share Veronyca's ending if I wasn't proud of it too.
Thank you Veronyca!
