I heard the sound of the alarm go off. I reluctantly pulled my arm out of the warm covers and hit the off button. I groaned internally. It was too early.
I heard an echoed audible groan as two arms around me held on tighter. I shifted uncomfortably as I flipped myself around. Toni was still asleep. Or at least pretending to be asleep.
"Toni," I whispered. My voice was still hoarse from morning. "It's time to wake up."
"Five more minutes," he breathed out.
I ran my fingers through his curly bed head. I scooted up closer and gently kissed his lips. "Wake up, you bastard."
Toni groaned at that. I waited a little bit and kissed him again. It took a second for him to kiss me back.
"Hey," I said. He interrupted me with another quick kiss. "You need to get up."
He groaned and rolled on top of me. I giggled as he planted kisses all over my face.
"But I want to stay in bed with you," he whined.
"That's some tough luck, mister," I said. "You've got to go to work."
He groaned and got more involved in kissing me. At least that meant he was awake.
"Toni..." I warned. "Toni."
He hummed in pleasure from hearing his name, the giant dork. "Sí, mi corazón?"
"Don't you have that evaluation today?"
Toni's green eyes flashed open. "Mierda," he cursed.
I chuckled as he scrambled out of bed and flew around the room trying to get ready. The bright lights came on when Toni flipped the switch, making me wince. "Did you really forget?" I asked.
"No, I was just distracted." I heard the pipes in the bathroom squeal in protest as they brought up water for Toni's shower. "Sure you don't want in on this?" Toni asked, pointing to the shower.
I shook my head and let my head sink into the comfy pillow. "If I went in, you'd never get to work on time."
"Suit yourself," Toni said as he pulled down his boxers.
I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of another morning. Toni sang something in Spanish to himself.
"Can you believe we've been married for seven years now?" I asked loudly. Seven whole years of morning after morning waking up next to him. I loved it.
"Mi amor, I still can't believe we're actually married. We're still newlyweds, right? Our honeymoon was only last month," Toni shouted over the water.
"Ha!" That wasn't entirely false. We didn't exactly have the time or money for a honeymoon when we first arrived on Earth. Toni finally kept his promise by taking me to the Tomatina festival in Spain. I still don't know how he managed to pull it off without letting me know. It's not like he could take a lot of time off this time of the year.
I looked at the frame on the nightstand. Toni had asked one of the locals to snap a picture of us while we were there. We were absolutely smothered with tomatoes and having the time of our lives. It was everything a honeymoon should be. Though in the grand scheme of things, this life with him was a honeymoon.
I heard the water in the shower turn off. Toni came back into view rubbing a towel through his hair. He caught me staring and threw me a wink. "How'd I manage to snag a girl like you?"
"You're full of it this morning," I told him.
Toni threw me another cheeky grin as he brushed his teeth. "Mmmm!" he mumbled something and then spit. "I almost forgot! There's something I want to talk to you about later."
"What is it?" I asked. Toni shaved his face as quickly and carefully as he could. "It sounds pretty important if you have to 'plan' to talk to me."
"Later. I don't want to rush and mess things up," Toni said. He went to our closet and threw on the first slacks and shirt he could find. He made a pathetic attempt at tying a red tie around his neck.
"Come here," I called him and sat up in bed. I straightened his tie and used it to pull his face close to mine. I kissed him with all I could muster. His lips moved slowly against mine, enjoying and drawing out as much pleasure as he could. I let him go when I felt him trying to make his way back on the bed.
"That was for good luck, Professor Carreido," I said. "Ti amo."
"Te amo, te amo, te amo." Toni gave me three swift kisses then grabbed his keys and wallet. He slipped on shoes and socks and flipped the light switch off as he ran out of there.
As soon as he was gone, I ran to the bathroom and puked my guts out.
God fucking damn it, I couldn't afford to be sick. It had to have been just a fluke. I went into work anyway.
The second worst thing that happened to Toni and me was when he got sick. It was just a week or two after we came back to life. His body wasn't used to all the viruses and bacteria floating around now, I guess. He was so sick he could hardly move. I was scared out of my mind. We hardly had any money, but I admitted him in the hospital anyway. I was scared I was going to lose him and be stuck here on earth without him. Turns out all he needed was some antibiotics, and he was fine. Still scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to go through an experience like that again. I was fine. I could tough it out. I felt fine now. No biggie.
Now, Toni may have been raking in the big bucks being a fancy-shmancy history professor at the university, but that didn't mean I wasn't hauling my own weight. I happened to be fulfilling a personal dream of mine. Not far from the campus where Toni worked, I owned a tiny little Italian restaurant. Yep, I happened to be head chef, owner, and manager of the joint. I didn't exactly have a lot of employees yet. They were just kids who really needed a job.
"Hey, Mrs. C," Jessica said when she came in. Most days she came in a few hours early so I could teach her what I know. I guess that would make her my protege.
"You're late," I said without looking up. "Tie your hair back and get to work. I'm going to teach you how to beat up a chicken." I pounded the chicken with the mallet. I picked up another chicken breast and placed it on the counter for her.
After a moment of silence, I looked over at her. "What's the matter with you?"
Jessica was usually a babbler. It could get annoying, but she reminded me of Veni that way.
"Mrs. C." Jessica made a half hearted swing at the dead chicken breast. "Can I ask you for some advice?"
Oh geez. I thought my advice giving days were over. I wasn't an angel. My advice was terrible anyway. "Shoot."
"How did you fall in love with Dr. C?"
Girl talk, huh? Hadn't had that in a while. "I don't know. He just sort of annoyingly popped up all of the time. It took forever for me to realize I actually loved him. It just sort of happened. Why?"
"And...what would you do if he cheated on you?"
"Castrate him," I answered immediately. I gave the chicken a whack for good measure. That side was about done. I flipped the fowl over.
Jessica's eyes were wide. "What?" I said defensively.
"Nothing," she said. "It just seemed like you were the kind of person to love him regardless of what he did."
"I do. But we're talking hypotheticals here. Toni knows better than to cheat on me. Besides, if he did, it'd only prove he wasn't really my soul mate, or at least I wasn't his," I said.
Jessica shook her head. "Wow. You're really confident in your relationship."
"Yeah, well, when you've been through as many trials as we have... Toni and I have literally been to hell and back together," I said. No need to go into details of how literal that actually was. "Where does this advice part come in anyway?"
"My boyfriend cheated on me," Jessica said. She gave her chicken a better hit that time. "And I don't know whether I should break up with him or not. I thought I loved him, but..."
"But..."
"But it just doesn't seem like we're in love anymore, you know? It at least isn't close to what you and Dr. C have. But if I break up with him, I'll be alone."
"Well, in my opinion, it's better to be alone than to be with someone just wasting your time. Don't waste your life on some bastard like him. Just have a bit of confidence, and you'll be okay," I said. I dunked the chicken in egg and bread crumbs and threw it in the pan. It sizzled nicely as it fried up. I checked on the sauces. The lunch rush would be here soon.
"It smells really good back here!"
Both Jessica and I looked to see where the bell like voice came from.
My jaw dropped. "Venetia?!"
Without a moments hesitation, I abandoned my workstation and squeezed her tight in my arms. Jessica could take care of the rest. I could hardly believe it! Veni was here! I placed thousands of kisses on her soft cheeks.
"What are you guys doing here?" I saw that Ludwig had followed my sister in. I let her go and customarily put two kisses on my brother-in-law's cheeks. It wasn't unpleasant, I suppose. He had done so much for us. I hadn't seen either of them since that day.
"Jessica." I wiped at my face because I could feel myself crying. "Could you put a sign on the door? We're only going to be open for lunch today."
"Sure thing, Mrs. C." She nodded in our direction and went to the front of the restaurant.
"Tina, you don't have to cry," Veni said. Her sweet smile lit up her face. I wrapped her up in a hug again.
"Mia bella, bella sorellina," I cooed. I held her out and got a good look at her. She hadn't changed a bit. "God, you make me feel old." I'd be ten years older than her now. Ugh, no.
"So, are you guys..." I tried to think of a way to ask them subtlely. "Here to stay?"
Ludwig shook his head. "We're just here for a little visit."
"Well, come on in to my office. We've got catching up to do," I said.
My office was tiny and disorganized, but it was mine. It'd offer us at least a little bit of privacy.
"Sit anywhere you'd like," I said.
There was only one other chair besides mine. I was a little surprised to see Ludwig take it right away. Veni happily sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. It looked surprisingly very natural for them. I suppose they had been married for seven years as well, but still, I was a little miffed my sister showed that much affection for someone besides me. Damn they looked cute. All these years on Earth turned me into a giant softie.
"So how's everything in heaven?" I started off. Just, you know, simple afterlife small talk. I sat in my chair behind the desk.
"Heavenly." Veni smiled. "I still get to paint dreams, and Luddy is still at the gate."
"Uh huh," I said. "So, have you gone to Earth since? I mean, I might have expected you on a Halloween, but now... Why did you wait so long to just visit?"
"It takes a lot of credit to come down to Earth even for a short time. We had been mostly just saving up, then it was just one thing after another... We would have come on Halloween, but Veni..."
"I couldn't wait anymore!" Veni was practically bouncing out of her seat. "I want to see your baby!"
I tried to ignore the stabbing pain in my chest. She didn't mean it. She really didn't mean it. She didn't know. "Veni," I said carefully. "I don't have a baby."
I assessed the shocked faces of both Veni and Luddy. I could feel the embarrassed anger rising in my face.
"But...that's impossible," Veni said in disbelief.
"Really, Veni? Is it really so hard to believe?" I spat out. "That I've been married to my husband for seven years and couldn't get pregnant once? Not once! Because it's really very simple, Veni. I can't do it. It's physically impossible for this stupid body to have a baby."
I crossed my arms and drove my fists onto either side of my stomach. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think of how much of a failure I was. I didn't want to think of the hurt expression on Toni's face when I explained to him why we would never be able to start a family of our own. I didn't want to think of how strong Toni tried to be. I didn't want to remember the encouraging words he told me while his voice broke like his soul inside. I could feel him break. I could feel him break because of our connection. I could feel him try to hide how disappointed he was from me.
"But I saw it! You and Toni have a baby!"
I was shaking. "Veni, please stop it," I begged.
"Tina..."
"Veni, where did you see it?" Ludwig asked desperately. "Was it in a dream?"
"No, I saw it in the Book of Life a month ago! Under Tina and Toni's names, there was the birthdate of their baby..."
Ludwig quickly covered her mouth to shut my sister up. "Veni," he whispered a bit too loudly. "That wasn't a birthdate."
"Tell me," I collected myself enough to say. "Tell me what's going on now."
Ludwig looked from Veni to me. He removed the hand from Veni's mouth and cleared his throat. "The date that Veni saw was not the date of birth, rather the date of conception. Christina, you're approximately one month pregnant with Antonio's baby."
I heard Veni gasp and a smile spread across her face. "Oh! That's good news! Tina really is going to be a mommy! We just came a few months too soon!" She wanted to celebrate with me, but I didn't have the expression she was looking for.
"I can't be pregnant. I can't," I said unemotionally. "I haven't... I haven't had a..."
Ludwig cleared his throat. "I hear it can sometimes...take a while to become fully adjusted to life. It can be a pretty rough transition in the body."
"Seven years?" I said in disbelief.
"But isn't it exciting, Tina! You and Toni are going to have a family!" Veni said enthusiastically.
As soon as she said family, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Oh no. No, this couldn't be happening. I think I fell off my chair.
"Tina! What's wrong?"
"I think she's in shock."
"Should we tell Toni?"
"No!" I said. I used my desk to pull myself up. "I-I'll tell him myself."
"Tina, you're going to have to be careful," Veni said. She got up off of Ludwig's lap and went to help me up. I immediately clung to her and cried.
I don't know how long I had stayed like that. All my tears were gone.
I finally let her go and wiped at my face again. "Do you guys have a place to stay tonight?"
"We'll get our own place, but thank you. I think we've interfered enough," Ludwig said.
Veni looked worn out. It looked like this whole ordeal had taken a toll on her.
"Hey." I wrapped her up in another hug and kissed her cheeks. "I'm really glad you came to visit me."
Veni held me tighter. "Tina, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean..."
"Don't be sorry." I managed to crack a smile. "It's better that I heard it from you rather than on my own later. I'll be fine."
She gave a small smile and hugged me one more time before she and her husband left.
I could hear the phone vibrate in my purse. Shit, how long had been just sitting here? I fished out my phone and read the text message.
"Hey cutie ;) Are you coming home for dinner?"
I looked down once more at the positive pregnancy test I had just bought at the convenience store. It served as physical proof that I was actually pregnant. I sighed and hid it deep in the recesses of my purse.
"Yeah," I typed out. "I'll be right there."
It was dark by the time I got home. I opened the door and smelled what I assumed to be dinner.
"Tina! I'm in the kitchen!" Toni greeted me happily. I dropped off my purse on the coffee table and went in search of my husband. I found him in front of the stove. I could hear the sizzle of paella.
I wrapped my arms around him from behind and let my cheek rest on his back.
"Hey, sweetie." I could hear the concern in his voice. "Are you okay?"
"It's been a long day," I said.
"Mmm, I'm sorry, mi amor, but I made dinner! That should help make you feel better, right?"
He wiggled his butt, and I let go and laughed. "Of course."
He turned off the heat and then turned around. His hand gently reached for my face and pulled me in for a kiss. He grinned. "Go sit down! I've got everything all set up."
I was a little shocked to see that indeed he had. On the table stood a vase of carnations and daisies. Candles were burning and giving off a soft glow.
"What's all this?" I asked as I sat down. Toni usually didn't go this all out unless it was our anniversary.
"Nothing," he said, carrying out two plates. "I just wanted to do something nice for you."
"Hmm," I hummed suspiciously. I picked up a fork and dug in. It was good. Really good. I proceeded to stuff my face.
I ate too fast. I needed something to drink. I picked up my glass and sipped. Even this was good, sweet and fruity and...wine. I spit it back into the glass immediately.
Toni was surprised at that. I had never spit out wine before. Never. "Is it no good?"
I made a face and shook my head. "I don't want any." I couldn't. I could feel a pit growing in my stomach.
Toni looked nervous. He drank nearly half of his glass in one gulp.
"Look, I'm pretty tired. I think I'll just go to bed..." I started.
"I could make you some coffee!" Toni said quickly. He started to get up.
"I don't want any, Toni," I said tiredly. I started to get up as well.
"Wait, please Tina! I wanted to talk to you!" Toni said desperately. "It's important!"
That's right. Toni had said he wanted to talk to me this morning. He had done all of this because he wanted to talk to me. I had a bad feeling about this.
I settled back down in my chair. "Okay."
"Okay," Toni said to settle himself. He sat back down and took a deep breath. "I think we should adopt."
Oh no. Why was this happening to me?
"I think it's a good time for us to start a family. I've got a stable job. We have plenty of room. It would really mean a lot to me since, well, I grew up in an orphanage. You were sort of adopted, too. And think how much it would mean to them! And we'd probably get heavenly credit..." he babbled on. He looked so happy just by talking about it, as if adoption would solve everything. I felt sick.
"So, what do you think?" he asked.
No, please. Please don't ask me that. "No."
His face fell too much. "No? Why?" I felt horrible
I wringed my hands together. "It's not like I'm saying no forever. It's just...this isn't the right time."
"Well, why not? If it's the money, I could do extra work at the museum! And my evaluation went great today, so I'll probably get a promotion! If you're concerned about your time at the restaurant, it doesn't have to be a baby. We could adopt a kid who is a little older!"
I started crying then. How did I still have tears left?
"No, Tina! Don't cry! Don't cry, mi amor!" Toni got out of his chair and kneeled next to mine. He grabbed my hands. "I know it hurts. I didn't mean to make you upset. I just want to have a family and..."
I ripped my hands from his and ran. I ran all the way to the bathroom.
"Tina!" I heard Toni call out for me. No please don't follow me!
It was too late. Toni scrambled to hold my hair back as I threw up.
It didn't take long. After I was done, I fell back into Toni's embrace right there on the bathroom floor. I was done crying. I just felt sort of empty.
I got up and brushed my teeth. I needed to get this nasty taste out of my mouth.
"This wasn't how I intended this to go," Toni said after a while. "I didn't intend to make you upset or sick."
"You didn't make me sick, Toni," I said as I stared into the mirror. How was I going to tell him?
From the reflection I could see Toni get up and leave. "Where are you going?" I asked.
"I'm going for a walk," Toni said brusquely.
"No! Don't leave mad," I said.
"I'm not mad. I'm just... going to think. You can go to sleep, mi amor," he said gently.
"No! Don't do that! You can't leave me. I've got to talk to you!" I said and followed after him.
"I think we've had enough talks tonight," Toni said dismissively.
"Stop!" He wasn't stopping. "I'm pregnant, you bastard!"
That did it. Toni turned around. He stared at me a moment. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!"
"How sure are you? How do you know?"
"Two angels descended from heaven and told me. And." I dug onto my purse and threw my pregnancy test at him. "I took a pregnancy test, you bastard. I'm pretty damn sure. Now, we need to talk about this!"
Toni stared at the plus sign on the test. The more he looked. The more developed the brilliant smile on his face. He raced toward me and kissed me deeply.
"Why didn't you just tell me, you silly, wonderful woman?"
"Because I'm scared! This wasn't supposed to happen, Toni! I wasn't supposed to get pregnant! We accepted that! If we had lived out the rest of our lives, we wouldn't have been able to have children anyway."
He kissed me again. "Then it's a miracle!"
"You don't understand!" I groaned. "This isn't right! How are we supposed to be parents, Toni? We couldn't even keep ourselves alive!"
"We've got a pretty good streak going so far," Toni said. "We have each other. We can work together. You'll be a great mother, Christina. I've never met another woman more loving, more accepting, more kind, more thoughtful, or more self-sacrificing than you."
"Now I know you're just making stuff up."
Toni shook his head. "But I'm not."
I looked into his eyes, and I could see the sincere excitement. They danced for joy and were absolutely mesmerizing. Maybe the baby would be lucky enough to have eyes like his.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. "At least our baby will have you for a father."
Toni kissed me sweetly and leaned his forehead against mine. "We're going to be parents. We're really going to be parents!"
"I'm going to get fat," I complained. "I'm going to get fat and moody. And it's going to hurt. It's going to fucking hurt like hell."
"We're going to have a baby!" Toni said excitedly. His hand went under my shirt to the skin at my belly. "Do you know how far along you are?"
"Ludwig and Veni said the conception date was about a month ago," I said.
Toni smiled. "So you really weren't kidding about the two angels, huh? Wish I could have said hello." His hand circled around my body to the small of my back.
"A month ago. I think I remember what we were doing then," Toni said suggestively.
"Well, it was our honeymoon. Pretty tough to forget," I said.
"It was something like this, right?" Toni kissed me, working my lips apart and inviting himself inside.
"Something like that," I said breathlessly. I kissed him back just as passionately. His hands went to my butt. I jumped and hooked my legs around him. "I love you," I whispered. "I love you so much."
Toni's kisses became hungrier at that. "Still want to go to bed, mi amor?"
"Sí, papi," I said playfully, not so casually remind him that he was going to be a daddy.
I laughed as Toni growled and carried me off to the bedroom. We had a miracle to celebrate.
