-EMILY-
I was listening to Garcia and J.J.'s debate on whether heels or flats were better, when Lenora came running toward me calling my name. I could tell something was wrong and jumped from my seat. Everyone else stopped talking to see what was going on.
"It's Daddy. Something's wrong," she said with tears in her eyes.
I ran down the porch stairs toward the trees where Lenora had come running from. I heard others running behind me, but didn't care who it was. As I neared the trees, I saw Morgan kneeling next to Spencer who was on the ground curled in a ball.
"What's going on?" I asked as I dropped down next to Morgan.
"I don't know. He was fine. We were talking and then all of a sudden he just went catatonic," Morgan said clearly shaken up.
"Spencer? Spencer, it's Emily," I said leaning over so our faces were looking at one another.
Though his eyes were in line with mine, he was looking right through me. Wherever he was, it was in his mind and not on what was presently happening.
"Can we get him up?" I said to Morgan.
Morgan and I grabbed Spencer's arm and he began to whimper. His eyes shut tightly and he began pleading with us with a helpless 'please no'. We both removed our hands and looked at each other.
"PTSS," Hotch said making us turn to look at him.
"Is that the same as PTSD?" I asked.
"They changed disorder to a syndrome now," Hotch stated.
"What were you talking about?" I said to Morgan.
"We talked about Lenora and how strong she is. I told him I was proud of him and bam, he turned into this," he said gesturing towards Spencer.
"What do we do?" I said as I looked to Hotch for guidance.
"We need to keep talking to him. Something will break him from that trance," he said.
I saw Lenny watching slightly behind Hotch with tears in her eyes. I waved her over and had her sit next to me.
"Let's try talking to him. I think if he hears your voice he might respond," I said.
Lenora nodded as she stared at her comatose father.
"Daddy … it's Lenora. You are safe, Daddy. It's ok to wake up," she said gently.
She looked to me when nothing happened. I gave her an encouraging smile, before I turned back to Spencer.
"You are here with your family and friends. We are all here to keep you safe and protected Spence. Everything is ok," I said softly as I reached for his hand.
He tried to pull away, but I held it tightly.
"We are right here, Spence. We aren't going to leave you," I said as I placed my free hand on his cheek and stroked gently.
He flinched at first, but seemed to still as I continued to softly talk to him.
"Open your eyes, love. It's safe. I'm right here."
"Daddy, open your eyes, please," Lenora said calmly next to me.
Slowly Spencer's eyes began to crack open. They fluttered as he took in his surroundings before settling on my eyes.
"There you are," I said with a smile. "Can you hear me?"
He looked at me with a furrowed brow, but nodded his head.
"What happened?" he asked as he realized where he was.
"We aren't really sure," I said.
He pushed himself up into sitting position and rubbed his head.
"Reid, how do you feel?" Hotch asked.
I hadn't even realized he had crotched down beside me.
"A little cloudy," he said.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Hotch said.
"Uh … catching lightning bugs with Lenny," he replied.
"Does anything hurt?"
"No, not really. I just feel very drowsy and disoriented. Like I took a sleeping pill or something," he muttered.
"Morgan, do you remember exactly what you said?" Hotch questioned.
"No, I don't have his eidetic memory. I told him I thought Lenora was strong and recovering remarkably well. He told me that she got that from Claire to which I replied that she was more like him than he gave himself credit for. Then I told him I was proud of him. That was it," Derek said.
"Well, it doesn't seem to be affecting him now," Hotch stated. "Did you hear anything or smell anything?"
"Not out of the ordinary, no," Derek said.
I watched as Spencer massaged his eyes as though he had formed a headache. I placed my hand carefully and gently on his shoulder, making him look at me.
"Why don't we head home? Let you get some rest?" I said with a half-smile.
Spencer nodded as Hotch and I helped him off the ground. He was able to walk, but I looped his arm through mine just in case. I noticed that both Hotch and Morgan stayed close to Spencer as well. Lenora was ahead of us, already saying goodbye to Jack and Henry.
It didn't take long for us to say goodbye to everyone and drive home. Lenora readied herself for bed, while I helped Spencer change into his pajamas. Once he was tucked in, I made sure to say goodnight to Lenny before heading back in to the bedroom.
Spencer was on his side staring blankly at the wall.
"You ok? Is there anything I can get you?" I offered.
He looked away from the wall, locking eyes with me. I could see the exhaustion in them.
"No, thank you," he said softly.
I changed and climbed into bed with him. Scooting closer so I could entwine our fingers together. We didn't say anything. We just looked at one another.
"I need to tell you something," he said in a low tone.
"Sure," I said as I watched him curiously.
"I don't know why I … did whatever it is I did tonight … but … I know what I thought was happening. I know where my mind took me," he said.
I didn't speak. I just waited with baited breath.
"Emily, something happened to me in prison," he said breaking eye contact.
"What happened?" I encouraged in a gentle voice.
I could see him fretting over what he wanted to tell me. I knew that he had poisoned some prisoners. Was that what he was reliving? Did he think that I wouldn't love him anymore?
"It's ok," I said squeezing his hand tightly.
He chewed on his lip. A tell-tale sign he was trying not to cry. He still wouldn't look at me.
"Spencer, no matter what happened, I hope you know I love you. Nothing that happened will change that," I assured him.
He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
"I tried to be a good person. I promised myself that no matter what they did to me … I was going to stay true to who I was. My friend Delgado … he was being beaten and threatened and I just wanted to help him. So, I told on the guys who hurt him. I guess I thought maybe they'd move him in to protective custody or maybe the guards would actually care and put the two guys in solitary confinement.
I should've listened to Calvin. He told me that the rules were different. He said that … that I was just asking for trouble. I should've listened because he was right. The guards didn't care. All I did was piss off the two guys I narced on," he said as his lip trembled and his breathing sped up.
I moved closer and lifted his hand to my lips. I knew he had been beaten. I knew that was hard for him, but I had no idea it left this much of an impact on him.
"They came to my cell that night. They … fuck," he said as tears slid from his eyes.
"It's ok. Shhhh, I know. I know they hurt you," I said as I let go of his hand to stroke his cheek.
He was shaking his head no as I tried to console him.
"Emily, they took turns raping me!" he blurted.
My mouth dropped open and my heart completely stopped beating for a few seconds. I stared at him wide-eyed as his face turned deep red and tears streamed like a river down his face. I was at a loss for words. All I could do was pull him against my body and hold him as tight as I could.
I could feel him sobbing into my chest as I realized I, too, was crying. My hands clutching him against my body as if this would protect him or save him from his pain. I knew prison was a shit hole, but how could they get away with this. How was it possible for a man, who was supposed to be in protective custody, to be raped? How did they let that happen?
It's a good thing Wilkins had been murdered by Lindsey or I would've found him and done it myself. Every nightmare Spencer experienced could have been avoided if Wilkins wouldn't have fucked with him. He should've been in protective custody. She was going to have a good chat with the warden tomorrow.
"Spencer, listen to me. We will get through this. I will be with you the entire way and like I said to you before, this doesn't change my love for you. You are still the same beautiful, kind-hearted, gorgeous man I fell in love with. Do you understand me?" I insisted.
He started crying harder, but I felt him nod slightly. I pressed kisses to his head as I continued to hold him. We stayed that way until both of us fell into a fitful night's sleep.
(xxxxx)
A/N: sorry for the delay. I went out of town for the weekend to see friends. I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for the comments and support xoxo
