Tim was petrified. He'd promised Gibbs he could do this, but now he wasn't so sure. In fact, right now his heart was already in his shoes and his courage had nose-dived there, too. The only thing keeping him from running away from the situation he'd asked for, insisted he could handle, was Tony on one side of him, Gibbs on the other and even Jethro curled at his feet, compliments of Gibbs sense that Tim's nerves needed bolstering to get through this.
Gibbs had pulled in extra chairs from the bedrooms for this sit-down and everyone had a seat, although Ziva would have preferred not to be included in this since she felt like she was in the way and intruding. After all, she and Tim didn't have anything to work through and he didn't want her to perceive her presence here contrarily. Thankfully, Tim had sensed her misgivings and promised her that they were fine and he was in fact, glad she was here.
Ducky had retreated to the kitchen. He hadn't stayed to get involved in what they needed to discuss, but rather to be available if he was needed. No, this mending could be done without his presence. Besides, he didn't think he could stomach hearing any more personal pain from any of them. They'd all had enough to last a lifetime.
So, with Gibbs sitting on the outskirts of the group, deliberately placing his chair where he would be able to read Tim and Abby, as well as listen; Abby sat separate from Tim, in the chair beside the couch, with Ziva beside her in another chair, as both boys claimed the couch.
In a surprising gesture, Gibbs encouraged Jethro to claim the space between the boys, both for Tim's sake and Jethro's. The last few days since the dog had been back had been tension filled and far from normal for the canine and his master. Gibbs hoped letting them be there for each other though this would help that relationship while Tim worked at fixing the one with Abby. Besides, the 100 watt smile that gesture had earned him from Tim had made it the right decision in Gibbs' mind, regardless.
Abby, once everyone settled down after Jethro stopped being the scene stealer, spoke first, unexpectedly.
"Guys, I need to say something, here." while it was obvious she had a lot on her mind, her tone held plenty of uncertainty about what reception she might get.
For the first time in over three weeks, Abby and Tim looked at each other; for thirty seconds, they looked at each other, trying to read each other silently. That's all it took before Abby had tears in her eyes and regret written all over her face.
"I am so sorry, Timmy. You have to know I never meant to hurt you! Ever!"
Tim's heart melted like hot butter, as Abby's tears usually managed to accomplish when she apologized like this after she'd upset him or hurt him. It was all he could do not to jump up off the couch and enfold her into a forgiving hug. All that stopped him from moving was the three way conversation he'd had with Tony and Gibbs just before dinner, as it came back to him now.
"You feel yourself giving in before everything's resolved for you, just look at me or Gibbs, Probie. We'll help you stand strong."
"You guys wouldn't consider using a code word for it would you?"
"Whatta ya mean, Tim?"
"Boss, it's so easy for me to get sucked in, maybe if I look to one of you when I need help not giving in, you could remind me with something like a code word."
"Great idea, Probie. You let us know which word will work the best for you."
"Something simple, like 'stay' will work." '
"You're joking, Probie, right?"
"Not unless you can think of a better one, Tony.
"Until we can, 'stay' it is."
"Thanks, both of you."
"No sweat, Probie, c'mon let's get you through this.
"Relax, Tim, you can do this."
Apparently, Tony had picked up some of Gibbs' mind reading skills because he nudged Tim's shoulder with two of his fingers put together, as his arm lay stretched across the back of the couch so he could do just that for his brother.
Looking to Tony now for the backup the older man was obviously trying to give him, like they'd planned, he felt weak, not even ten minutes in and she had him feeling like putty in her hands. He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but it still bothered him almost as much as her tears hurt.
"Stay" Tony said quietly, but firmly as he locked eyes with Tim.
Jethro picked his head up and whined in confusion as he looked to Tim for understanding.
"Good boy" Tim soothed as he calmed his pet with a chuckle at this unforeseen complication to their battle plan.
Glancing at Gibbs, he saw his boss was just as amused. Looking back at Tony he smiled his thanks. Abby was thrown by the scene going on before her and even Ziva had to smile.
"Abby, I'm sorry, go on, finish what you were saying," Tim offered.
"I really am sorry, Timmy." she restated.
"Abby, Please. Stop for a sec. Before this goes any further, there's something... I need you to...I need to ask you..." Tim stumbled through this.
He'd never shared this with anyone, not even Tony or Gibbs. But, still he had to do this, for himself. Somehow. Looking to Gibbs for a strong dose of backbone, he found it looking back at him in those cobalt blue eyes that forbade him to let himself down. Smiling his thanks, Tim claimed the strength Gibbs had just infused him with. He strapped on his backbone and took a shot at standing up for something he'd been wanting to ask of her for a very long time.
"I need you to stop calling me that." Tim said gently.
"Stop calling you... stop calling you Timmy?" she asked in confusion.
"Please." Tim's voice shook enough that even though it had only been one spoken word, it left no doubt with any of them that the request had come from deep within his hurting heart.
"Ok. Yeah. I mean I'll try, hard. Habits are hard to change overnight though." Abby answered as her own voice held surprise mixed with acceptance of his request.
"I know." was the only answer he had for her.
"Do you forgive me?" she asked hopefully.
'It's not that simple, Abby." Tim told her surprisingly.
"What do you mean?" Abby was surprised.
"We're a team. We're supposed to be able to work together without problems interfering with our jobs." Tim reminded her. "You and I can't do that right now."
"Tim, I don't have any problem working with you!"
"That's because ...." Tim bit his tongue and turned his head away from her before he sent this spiraling badly.
Gibbs cleared his throat. "Let's address the elephant in the room, or to be more accurate, the dog."
Jethro picked his head up and looked at Gibbs. Gibbs smiled but otherwise ignored the poor canine.
Tim smiled as the thought crossed his mind that his poor dog was gonna need a shrink worse than he did by the time tonight was over. Surprisingly enough, Tim couldn't suppress the chuckle that rose up at that joke he'd made about it. As Tony looked at him questioningly, Tim shook his head.
Looking at Gibbs, Tim sent him a flash of gratitude and then turned his attention to Abby as; once again, she spoke first.
"It took me until Gibbs said something and then Tony and Ziva I talked about it, before I really got it. Well, no, Ducky said something, too." Abby admitted. "I treated you like crap that day, Tim, I'm sorry. Then I forced you to take Jethro in even though you tried to talk me out of it. I know I'm pushy and I don't take no for an answer. I need to work on that. Other than saying I'm really, sorry. I don't know what else to do about the whole mess, Tim."
Jethro, hearing his name, settled for wagging his tail, this time. The rest of what was going on had befuddled his brain and he didn't have the energy to figure it out.
As Tim absently ran his fingers soothingly through the dog's fur, he closed his eyes, unsure of how to handle it from here. He knew she'd feel badly about what she'd done, once someone could get her to see it. But he wasn't sure that was good enough. Did he dare speak so brutally honest on it? Isn't that what Gibbs had been riding him to do for himself? Isn't it what Tony had taught him to come back from hurtful jibes with? Yeah, he could do this.
"Abby, I know you feel bad, but, you know, the expression, "sorry doesn't cut it?" That kinda fits in here. "Tim told her in the same quiet tone he'd been using.
Abby's mouth dropped to the floor. Tony and Gibbs shared proud looks that celebrated Tim standing up for himself while Ziva tried to figure out where she was needed most. She understood where Tim was coming from. But, she also knew that beyond an apology, there wasn't much Abby could do, was there?
"Abby, I didn't say that to hurt you. But, if you stop and think about it, that day, was just one of several where you acted like that. That day just happened to be the worst of the bunch." Tim told her.
"Whatta ya mean?"
"Abby, I'm not gonna sit here and go through all of them. That's not what this is about." Tim said seriously.
"Then why are we here?" Abby demanded, suddenly feeling angry.
"Abby." Gibbs warned.
"To fix what's wrong between us, Abby. That doesn't mean picking apart every situation that's ever come up." Tim pushed, feeling a trace of anger himself. Only his respect for Gibbs and the man's effort to keep things civil kept Tim from giving in to his own rising anger. Why was she copping the attitude, anyway?
"I will put this much out there. " Gibbs surprisingly offered. "I admit, I have treated Abby too much like the favored child among the family. It's hurt all of you at some point, some of you a lot more often and with much deeper repercussions than others. I accept the blame for that and I'm sorry for it. It's one of the things I will work improving for the team relationship."
Tim couldn't tell who was more shocked, Abby or Ziva. What he did know was that he appreciated Gibbs a hell of a lot more right now, more than ever before. Now that Gibbs had said that, there wasn't a whole lot left for Tim to say, that he could remember, anyway. He was having trouble wrapping his mind back around what he'd needed to clear the air about in the first place. He needed a break.
"I need a couple of minutes, Boss." Tim said quietly as he headed to the bathroom.
"Gibbs, what was that?" Abby asked with hurt radiating in her voice.
"The truth, Abby. I have treated you like my favorite and its hurt Tim a lot. Maybe if you hadn't taken advantage of it so many times, used it to your advantage over him, it wouldn't have come to this." Gibbs told her in brutal honesty.
"I don't follow you. When did me being the favorite hurt him?" Abby asked.
"I can't believe you have to ask that!" Tony said in anger.
Jethro popped his head up off the couch and growled. In perfect timing, Tim returned from the bathroom and snapped his fingers . Instantly, the dog jumped down off the couch and trotted over to him where he stood in the doorway. Tim stooped down to calm his dog and quietly offered Abby an example that had long plagued him.
"Mawher."
Gibbs' eyes snapped to Tim, needing to see where the kid's head was while he had just taken the conversation there. Tim wouldn't look up; he buried his face in his dog's fur, suddenly needing to hide away for a minute. Gibbs hated to see it, but, understood it. That situation had cost Tim dearly, mainly Gibbs' trust and respect, at least for the day. Tim had carried the scars from that day for a lot longer than any of them except Ducky, had realized.
Both Ducky and Tim were right about that night. Abby did bear some of the responsibility. Had he and Tim even talked about this in the chaos of this past two weeks? Gibbs couldn't remember. What mattered now was that they get this talked through and move on.
"Abby?" Gibbs asked, determined to hear from her.
"I know, Gibbs. He's right. I pushed him and needled him until he did what I wanted. He warned me and told me expressly not to open the door and I did it anyway."
"And I punished him and let you off scot free. Do you really need another example?" Gibbs quietly asked, hoping she'd be kind enough not to force Tim through any more.
"No. I get it."
"Bout time." Tony said under his breath.
Gibbs glared at him from across the room. He knew Tony was pissed but handling it like that wouldn't help anyone get through this. Tony sent him back a look of apology.
"What else is there?" Abby asked in concern.
"I suggest we make sure of one thing, right here and now." Tony said with determination. He looked to Gibbs for the okay to keep going.
Tim remained wrapped around his dog, not yet ready for the attention to be back on him.
"Tim." Gibbs said, knowing what Tony wanted to resolve.
Reluctantly, Tim stood up. As he looked at Gibbs, the boss motioned for him to take his seat again. Nodding, Tim did as Gibbs requested, Jethro, once again, on his heels, jumping back up on the couch between Tim and Tony.
"Go on, Tony." Gibbs allowed.
"Tim. I know that we all treated you like crap that day; well at least Abby and I did. But I need to know if part of what upset you about that case, was being strong-armed into having to give the dog that attacked you, a home."
Tim looked at Tony in shock. "What? Wow. Well. Yeah, actually, it was part of the problem for a while." Tim admitted for the first time since it happened.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Abby demanded.
Tim stared at her, refusing to answer her. He knew the minute he opened this can of worms any further, it would get unpleasant and he wasn't about to do that to Gibbs or Ziva.
Abby was shocked that Tim wasn't answering her. As he continued to simply stare at her, her brain kicked back into gear and she recalled how she'd bulldozed over everything he'd said when he tried to make her understand he was afraid of the dog that had attacked him and it wasn't fair of her to ask him to give that dog a home. "Oh. Right. I remember. Tim. I'm sorry. I know I don't have any reason to be pissed at you about any of this. If anything, you should be mad at me."
"I'm trying to get past it, Abby. I just don't know if I can, if it's gonna keep happening, even parts of it." Tim admitted.
"So, that's what this is about? Making sure none of what happened before happens again?" Abby asked.
"Yeah." Tim said as he finally looked back at her straight on.
"I get it. I wasn't trying to be difficult." Abby apologized.
"Thanks." Tim accepted, although he was done letting her get off with an 'its okay'.
'There's more going on here, right? Abby asked.
"Only if you're ready to talk about more personal issues." Tim honestly told her.
It seemed as if the rest of the team had faded into the background. Suddenly, it was just the two of them, finally talking as normal adults, each actually trying to hear the other one out.
"I'm listening."
"I need you to stop bragging about your dates and conquests. It took me a long time to get over your rejection, Abby. I can't deal with you shoving my face in it." Tim said painfully.
"Tim. I… I never meant any of it that way." Abby said with regret.
"Its how it felt, how it feels. I get that you want us to be good friends, Abby and I have no problem with that, so long as you don't gloat or brag when we talk about what's going on with you."
"Oh, Tim. I'm sorry."
"I know, Abby. But, it needs to stop. And so does asking me to do things that you know will get me in trouble. Just because I care enough about you to want you to be happy doesn't mean you can keep taking advantage of me. I know. The final decision is always mine to make, but, it's not right for you to put me in that position in the first place.
"I know, Tim. But, it's so hard not to, I mean you never say no and you never let me down. It's like you and anything Gibbs needs on the computer." Abby said.
"No, Abby, it's not. There's a big difference between doing what your boss expects of you, and doing what you know your boss is gonna get pissed at you for." Tim said as he deliberately avoided Gibbs' eyes for this one.
"I know, Tim. I know. I'm sorry."
"I get that, Abby. Just, please, don't do it anymore." Tim said.
"Okay, Tim. I promise not to ask you to do stuff like that anymore." Abby said.
"I'm still wondering why you didn't come to me in the first place, Abby." Gibbs spoke up. "Tim had every right to be worried about the position you were putting him in. Next time, he won't come out of it with such a clean record. Maybe you'll remember that before you ask him to do anything like that, before you ask any of them to do anything like that again.
Abby gulped in nervous surprise. She'd forgotten about the risk Tim had taken on her account with the satellite time for her friend's nephew at Christmastime. Apparently, she was the only one who'd forgotten about it.
"So long as we don't have to go through any of this again, ever. We're good. Abby." Tim said.
"Really?" Abby asked in surprise.
"Well, that and everything else we've talked about tonight." Tim amended.
"Okay. Well, that wasn't so bad. It wasn't anything I didn't deserve. And I'm really sorry I let things get this bad between us, Tim." Abby said as she got to her feet and approached him.
Tim got up from the couch and hugged her. He accepted her embrace and welcomed it. Finally, for the first time in a very long time, he felt comfortable around Abby. As she finally began to let go, she reached up and whispered in his ear.
Tim looked at her in something akin to fear and bolted from the room, with the wind on his back.
