Title: Balancing on the Edge (companion 2)

Prompt: Taking a risk

Words: 482

Warnings: Cancer themes, hospitals, illness, mentions of surgery

Summary: Merlin knew the risk. He also knew the result if he didn't take it and there was no way he was going to give up now.


"It won't be easy," the doctor stated, standing at the foot of Merlin's hospital bed. "There are numerous complications that could arise as with any surgery—"

"Can you get it all?" Merlin interrupted. His face was pale and drawn but determined, giving the doctor his full attention.

The doctor nodded. "If everything goes well, yes. But Mr. Emrys we must warn you of the huge risk this surgery poses. We will be cutting into your brain. Complications could render you brain dead and you might never wake up. Or you could lose memories, motor function, the ability to—"

"Do it." Merlin's eyes were full of determination.

Arthur looked over at his boyfriend, worry running like ice through his veins. "Merlin?" But he knew this wasn't his choice to make. It was Merlin's. And he couldn't quell the brief flicker of hope in his chest at the possibility that this all could be over with just one more surgery. One more long, dangerous, potentially fatal, or debilitating surgery.

Merlin turned toward Arthur and met his eyes, searching. Arthur just squeezed his hand, giving him his silent support and encouragement. He received a smile in return as Merlin focused his attention back on the doctor. "Please do it. I want you to do it."

"Mr. Emrys perhaps you should take a minute to think about this and we can talk about it tomorrow."

"No, I don't need to think about it, I have been thinking of nothing else for the past year. I want this...thing out of my head. I want to live." He met Arthur's eyes again. "And I want to stop hurting you."

"Merlin," Arthur protested.

Merlin shook his head, though Arthur could tell it caused him pain. "No don't try to soften it, don't try and deny it. I see your face every time I...return. I'm hurting you, this thing," he gestured toward his bald scarred head, "is hurting you. Maybe even more than it is me."

"This is not a competition Merlin."

"No but it is a race," Merlin said with such conviction, such determination that Arthur could not help but stare at him in awe. "We are racing against this tumor, against time, and I want to win. If that means risking it all by cheating and completely eliminating the competition, then so be it."

An overwhelming surge of love built up in Arthur and he gave into it, leaning forward to capture Merlin's lips. They were dry and chapped and slightly cold but Merlin responded eagerly, pouring love and affection and devotion into the kiss. It wasn't a goodbye, it wasn't a heart aching act of passion. It was a promise of more to come.

And as they broke apart, Arthur couldn't help the grin that spread across his face despite the challenges ahead.

"Cut me open doctor, I'm ready."