Chapter 28: This Is How A Heart Breaks
As promised a new chapter that I feel I updated fairly quickly for once. This is my first update in the year 2009! Thanks to all of my readers and reviews you guys really keep me going sometimes. This is it, we are closing in on some of the last chapters of this story. I can feel that things are starting to finally come together. I can't believe that a little over a year ago I was starting this story while visiting my roommates family for Halloween and now I'm almost done with it. Thanks especially to my reviews of the last chapter, David Fiswick, TwilightForever93, LadyFoxy, Fyre at the Funeral Pyre, and Tibys my continued reader from the beginning of the story. You guys rock! My Christmas and New Year were both interesting. I have to give the biggest shout out to a nonreader, though a very important person in my life Kenny. He's my fiancé and made my Christmas bearable and helped smooth our unexpected plans over. My parents crashed our Christmas so he helped me keep things together, let me sleep in for a little while so I could feel a bit more rested, and cleaned the house up while I cooked frantically. That of course gave me extra time once everything was in the oven to write a few more pages of the fanfic before the family got here. Well this was quite a long introduction, once again I do not own Harry Potter, it's characters or its plot. I do however own Celia, some of the other characters, and a space for my nursing entrance exam tomorrow wish me luck!
Quirell/Voldemort left in August to get ready for classes. Celia avoided the two of them most of the summer season if she could help it. She had only been cornered a couple of times by the two of them and had of course paid the price for those run ins. This was a good time to be an animagous, Celia decided.
Quirell and Voldemort never made it back after August. She waited once again dreading the summer visit that she expected. She was glad that she hadn't received a visit at Christmas.
One day in late June she was lying in front of one of the windows when she heard something fall in the fireplace. She sighed. She had thought he might come by floo system, but had hoped he had taken his time and gone through some other route. She walked into the room with the large fireplace and gasped.
Severus Snape was lying on the floor. He had definitely aged and he looked very little like he had when she left him. His eyes were narrowed, his hair was even greasier than it had usually been, and he wore a sneer.
"Sev," she said exhaling the air she had in her lungs.
"Celia, what we had is over, please don't try to bring any of it up. I am not interested in your excuses or your lies," he said to her harshly and he brushed the soot off of himself.
She was taken aback. She hadn't expected that to come from him, but what did she really expect if she ever saw him again. It had been ten years since they had been together, and ten years, though they didn't change Celia much, changed Severus a lot.
"I understand," Celia said. Of course she didn't understand, but what use was it to say that.
"No, no Celia. You really don't understand. You have no idea what you put me through. You left me alone," Severus said.
"I just wanted some sunlight, some air," Celia said.
"Well now you have all the air you could ever want," Severus said sarcastically.
"I am sorry Severus. I thought I could just come back through and be back with you. I was trapped here, I couldn't make it back through. I hoped and prayed for months that you would come for me; that you would forgive me, but time doesn't always heal all wounds it seems. Sometimes it just makes them deeper."
"What's done is done and I'm doing fine," Severus said.
"Then why are you here. Why now after ten years do you show up and finally break things off," Celia said starting to get a little angry herself.
"I came to tell you that Voldemort has been destroyed once again," Severus said. "I thought you might like to know where your boyfriend is now," Severus said.
"He's not my boyfriend. I hate that you think that about me. I didn't run away from you and I definitely didn't run away from you for him. I loved him once, then he became a monster and destroyed my life. He killed my children, trapped me here, and has never shown me any kindness since then. I'm a prisoner Severus, I always have been, and I will be until the day he dies," Celia said.
Severus was taken aback as well. He had anticipated such strong words from Celia, but then again he had been blaming Celia for his pain.
"What had you forgotten about that little detail?" Celia questioned. "I don't love you anymore Severus so you don't have to worry about me wanting to be in a relationship anymore," Celia said.
"Fine with me," Severus said.
"But," Celia said.
"But?" Severus questioned.
"That doesn't mean that this is over. I mean our friendship, however twisted it may be. We both rely on one another for information. That will always be true, and I will continue feeding you information and I hope that you will bring back little tidbits for me too. This does not mean that we have to spend a lot of time together, but it does mean that we have to be adult about this whole thing and get over this little tiff we had ten years ago." Celia said. "Mankind depends on it."
Severus nodded. She was being remarkably collected about this whole thing. She had every right to be mad at him as well. He hadn't given her a chance to explain herself, and he had jumped to conclusions. He was glad that things had ended though; he could now focus on the job at hand.
"That sounds like a fair deal to me," Severus said.
"So you say he is gone," Celia said offering Severus a seat.
Severus sat down and began. "Voldemort became a parasite."
"On Quirell's body," Celia said. "I know up to that point so you don't have to explain that portion."
"How did you know Quirell?" Severus asked.
"It's a long story," Celia said. "A very painful and uncomfortable story at that."
Severus cringed. He was definitely still bitter towards her for leaving, but seeing the state she looked in, and some of the things she seemed to be hiding made him feel a bit guilty.
"Well, Quirell had been acting a little strange since he got back. He claimed to have seen vampires in Albania, and had been spooked by them. I knew that it was a lie. Albania, gave me the hint that maybe you had met him, but I didn't want to assume anything. I knew it couldn't be good and he gave me this feeling that he was Voldemort, though I never let it be known," Snape said.
"Keep going," Celia said walking into the kitchen for a moment. "Would you like anything to drink? I have iced tea here with raspberry."
"That sounds fine, bring me a glass," Severus said. "As I was saying before, Voldemort was after the Sorcerer's Stone."
Celia popped her head out of the doorway. "Oh I've heard something about that," she said. "Why would he be after something that gave him everlasting life, he already has many of his lives left," she thought to herself.
"The Sorcerer's stone would give him a body of his own as well, because he was living as part of Quirell," Severus said.
Celia nodded and brought Severus a glass of tea. Severus sipped the tea and continued. "Well, the stone used to be in Gringotts bank, but was moved to Hogwarts," Severus continued. "Quirell tried many attempts on it while it was hidden at the school, but once again it seems the boy who lived had thwarted the enemy," Severus said bitterly.
"That's good right?" Celia said confused by Severus's bitterness. "It's only a matter of time until we can finally be," Celia began to say and then cut herself off.
"Be what?" Severus asked.
Celia was going to say be together, but she knew that the idea of that had died long ago though her feelings for him had not. Instead of saying that, she filled in the blank with, "Free."
Severus nodded. He guessed it didn't matter how you got there, and he couldn't very well destroy Quirell, that would have blown his cover at Hogwarts for sure. Somewhere deep inside of him he had for a moment wanted to be the hero in the situation and not James Potter, well he wasn't James of course just acted like James, looked like James and happened to be the son of James. He couldn't let that get in the way of things though this was a much bigger situation than that.
"Is he ok?" Celia asked.
"Who?" Severus asked.
"The boy," Celia said.
"Oh, yeah he is fine," Severus said the bitterness returning in his voice.
"Is this the same boy he had tried to kill before?" Celia asked.
"Yes Lily's son," Severus said not wanting to connect him to James at that moment.
"Oh," Celia said.
"Yes," Severus said the moment getting more and more awkward.
"Well," Severus said. "That was about all I had to update you about."
"All right," Celia said getting up and shaking his hand as he stood up as well. "It was nice seeing you Severus, if you have anything else you would like to discuss you know where to find me," she said though her mind was saying, "Please don't leave me here, please take me with you I will do anything, beg, plead, anything."
"Goodbye," Severus said. "I'll be back the next time I hear of something," he said. Then he threw the floo in the fireplace and shouted, "Spinner's end!"
Celia watched him disappear through the fireplace and felt emptiness filling her. She always fell in love with those who were probably no good for her, or at least people who would never work out. How many times could her heart break before she was too broken to put back together?
Celia had another year of waiting before her next encounter with Severus.
"Still no news," Severus said as he stepped out of the fireplace.
"How was your new year?" Celia asked.
Severus raised his eyebrows at her.
"Just because we aren't together anymore doesn't mean we can't be friends," Celia said.
"I wouldn't call what we are friends," Severus said.
"What would you call it?" Celia asked.
"We are conspirators," Severus said.
"Ah," Celia said. "Well you could have sent word some other way that there has been no activity why show up?" Celia asked.
"To see you," Severus's mind thought. "To make sure that you weren't going crazy here and to apologize for being an ass before." Instead he said. "Dangerous to send things that way, don't want to mess up the system we have going, if you like I could stop regularly informing you and only inform you when activity has occurred," Severus said.
"Whatever you see fit," Celia said.
"Well then until the next time," Severus said.
"Until the next time," Celia said and she watched him disappear into the fireplace once more.
She wished she could draw up the power inside of her to say something. To try to right the wrong that she had made, but it was too late and now things really were over. They couldn't even be friendly everything was so hostile.
Celia felt a horrible pain in her chest one night a few years later. She had been feeling mild pains every so often, but she didn't think anything of it. It was a warm night in June. She knew it was something wrong, something to do with Voldemort. He was coming back into the world, but differently, painfully, and he was projecting it on her.
She writhed and finally fell to the floor out of the bed. She grasped her chest and the pain finally died down.
"He's back," her mind thought. She threw open the window and let the strong winds of change sweep through her hair.
"Nothing is going to be the same," her mind thought.
She was correct in her assumption. Several hours later Celia heard the banging on the front door and the noise of cheering from the death eaters as they brought their Lord through the door. He looked weaker than he had before; he looked as if he were withering away.
Celia sneered at him. He caught her eye and grinned wildly. She turned her head away. "It is all about keeping your strength, you can't let him see you cry," her mind assured her.
"My home," Voldemort said. "Just the way I left it."
Celia looked back at the crowd. She noticed the Severus wasn't with them. She knew he would probably be by a bit later when he had time to sneak out.
"I believe tonight is a cause of celebration," Voldemort said. "Celia, bring out some mead for us would you?" he said in a false sweetness. His voice sounded harsh and hoarse as if he had a chest cold. Celia did as she was commanded not that she had much choice in the matter.
She grabbed several bottles of mead from the kitchen and brought them into the dining area. The death eaters cheered and drank to the victory, though Voldemort hadn't defeated Harry Potter quite yet, he had his own body, he was alive and he had a plan.
The death eaters left later that morning, drunk and ready to fall over. Voldemort let them have this night of celebration. This was the beginning of his reign of terror and it would last until every last person bowed to him, he could live forever and he had everything he needed. He looked across the room. There was his other prophecy, strong willed youthful Celia. It was a shame that he had to age while she continued to be young, but he would rather he aged than she did. Her skin glowed under the dim lights of the dinning hall. She was clearing the table and cleaning up the room after all of the drunken death eaters had managed to stumble out of the castle.
"Celia," Voldemort said with some force.
Celia rolled her eyes and put the dish that she had been cleaning in the sink before walking out to see Voldemort standing in the dining hall.
"What?" Celia questioned. She was in no mood for his games this night. She had to admit that being in this castle had made her nothing less than bitter. She had once been full of life and hope, but now she was full of anger and the feeling of betrayal. She wasn't sure if that was what she was feeling though. She certainly felt both anger and betrayal, but towards what exactly? Then she finally realized something and it made her sick to her stomach.
"Every time I look at him I see what was, I'm not able to look past it," she thought to herself.
Celia shook her head, "Finally seeing the benefit Celia?" Voldemort asked.
Celia blinked. "How can I still love him?" she questioned. "After all the hurt he has caused, all of the death, all of the pain, I still think I love him," her mind said.
"Why did you sell me out to Quirell?" she asked lifting her eyes up to meet his.
"Bargaining chip, as I said before. He was a lonely man, thought by his appearance you could understand why. It was only for a short amount of time anyway, I never actually planned on keeping him around. I don't share well with others," he said wrapping his arms around her waist.
"You're evil, you don't think logically," Celia said pulling away from him. Celia turned around and looked into his eyes. "Tell me something," her mind begged.
She saw it then the emotion change that occurred. He was genuinely affected by her, not in a way that he could show, but in a way that she could physically feel pulling on her.
She knew she was going to fall hard, she knew that she was setting herself up for heartbreak, but she dove in. She took a good look into his eyes and nothing mattered about before. It was the ultimate forgiveness and love and it was something that nothing that Voldemort did could ever destroy it. He lost his prophecies, there was no way of regaining either of them and his false sense of security would begin its fall.
