A Gift For a Hag
Chapter 28: Candlelit Git
Professor Snape reached Hogsmeade on a cold and blustery winter day.
He had no idea as to where to start looking for the gift for the hag.
The thought then occurred to him to perhaps let history repeat itself somewhat and start retracing his steps.
Yes…carrying out deeds and espionage for the Dark Lord was considerably easier…
It was still early on Saturday. The visitors and locals of Hogsmeade had not risen yet.
He believed inferi couldn't frighten him off worse today than…them.
Good.
His long, black travelling cloak rippled in the wind as he looked at the pink…the pink and very pretty tea shop in front of him.
He cursed himself silently and with disgust that this particular description crossed his mind.
He believed the proprietor had once said something to that effect to him one grab bag year and he still was revolted.
His boots as he strode made a crunching sound, as the snow fell to the ground.
He reached the door to the tea shop and opened it hesitantly, the tinkling of bells greeting him as he entered.
He was prepared this time. His plan would be perfectly executed. He still had control…
The shop was closed to patrons. It was too early. People were either fast asleep in their warm and cozy beds with a loved one, or breakfasting at a table, chatting animatedly about their week at home.
Er, not him.
He had no one. He never had. He was now forced to enter Madam Puddifoot's to acquire another gift for an irksome hag.
He thought quickly about his life. He had never imagined it would come to this.
He glided over to the counter, relieved that no patrons were there.
He withdrew his wand and thought the spell…he was ready…
Protego…
He was now at the counter, standing under the cupids, as pink heart-shaped confetti and silver glitter fell…and as a highly potent yet artful shield charm was cast..
The confetti was now round him…but nowhere near him, although the cupids gave him a shocked look and the force of his spell had confetti and glitter blast a bit further away and with a force that he hadn't wished.
He was about the evanesco the huge pile of confetti that had landed in a corner as fallout but decided that now that Madam Puddifoot was approaching the counter from her back room to speak to him, it was highly imprudent.
He deftly put his wand back into the inside of his cloak.
Wouldn't due to frighten her…
"Good morning, Madam," he figured it would better serve his cause to be polite. The last time he had seen her he had insulted Lockhart, her store, and Valentine's Day.
He had also caused a scene when Potter gave him a look very much like his father's when he entered the store with his unfortunate Valentine, a misguided girl named Miss Chang.
And the worst of it…never…ever…insult Celestina Warbeck…in front of a woman.
He had. He would have to be gracious towards her now.
Pity.
And there was a pause, where one would naturally expect to hear, "good morning," back.
It never happened.
"Humph…and what can I possibly do for you, sir?" Madam Puddifoot scoffed.
Snape was taken aback. He hadn't expected this but he was not surprised either.
He wasn't that daft.
"I wish to procure a gift certificate for a grab bag." He said softly and with more calm in his delivery than last time.
"Sure."The witch cracked sarcastically and gave an equally sarcastic snort of laughter.
"No really, I must." Snape was firm.
"For Miss Vector?' Her eyes were wide and her arms were crossed across her chest.
"Why yes." How did she know? He was caught completely off guard.
"And am I to understand that you will not be accompanying her when she uses it?" She glared at him.
"Yes." The word was quiet.
"Well, then, which vampire are you going to set her up with that she can bring along?" shouted Madam Puddifoot nastily. And she gave him another accusatory glare.
"Excuse me?" His face fell in disbelief.
"You heard me, Professor Snape," thundered Madam Puddifoot, sounding very much like that Weasley woman at an Order meeting while becoming very angry with her awful twin boys, gathered Snape.
"I am not quite sure I understand…madam," said Snape rankled.
"You know very well what I mean. And the answer is no. I wouldn't sell you a gift certificate to my store now if it meant closing down."
"Why is that, madam?" He said cautiously.
And as Snape spoke the words, he knew it was the wrong thing to say.
She turned bright pink, very much in unison with the walls of her pink and very pretty teas shop.
Snape felt on onslaught of nausea.
"Because you, sir, have to be the worst Valentine ever to set foot in my establishment…and trust me, I have seen it all. There is no husband, fiancé, boyfriend, lover, uh, you name it…that has ever acted so fiendish towards a lady that I have ever witnessed."
Snape could not fathom how she had heard of this.
And then he thought of the pubs, how gossipy the village was about Hogwarts news…
And regrettably he and Vector made a lot of news from time to time.
All her fault, of course…
"How that poor woman purchased you a 50 galleon certificate to the Apothecary… and that is what she gets for her troubles? The gall…the mean-spirited, audacious, cad-like…"
Snape had heard enough.
He would not be purchasing a gift for the hag here.
He believed he was banned.
And if it wasn't for the fact that he had just been verbally abused and threatened by a plump, old shopkeeper, he might have been relieved.
Just like he was banned for life from the Hog's Head by that crusty old barkeep…who still looked so familiar to him…
"Plus…I will not rent my rooms or offer a table reservation to a person or creature that gifts a poor, sweet girl with a book on how to make herself over as a hag. Perhaps Knockturn Alley is more to your liking, Professor Snape, a good day to you."
And she turned on her heel and fled to the back, and very swiftly for one so large.
But she had not said her last.
Snape heard her ranting through the closed door.
"Learn a thing or two…from Gilderoy Lockhart…how to treat a Valentine…Celestina is a fool, my behind…ashamed of himself."
"And you tell Miss Vector…should I ever have the honor of having her in my shop…that I would love for her to visit so I can give her a 50 galleon gift certificate…ON THE HOUSE! If she ever speaks to you again, that is!"
The gold cupids turned their backs on him and lifted their dainty pug-noses in the air.
Apparently, their time and their sweet-smelling pink heart-shaped confetti and silvery glitter was wasted on him.
He turned abruptly and bolted from the store.
His black robes billowed with the speed of his retreat.
