Paul hadn't felt this much anger since his mom had died.

The last time he had lost control, he had made it halfway to Canada before Jacob and Seth had forcibly brought him back, and it took an Alpha-order from Sam to ensure he wouldn't rip their heads off. Leah had finally been the one to calm him down, memories from the loss of her father forcing him to realize that losing his mother wasn't something he would never get over. It was typical of him to lose his temper when something bad happened and lash out, and that was the first and probably the last time he had phased back into his own body and allowed his friends to gather around him in a show of support and help him trudge back home.

It didn't work out so well this time.

Added to the anger and frustration he felt as soon as he had caught wind of the fact that Serena was gone, there was the pain. He knew it was his own fault. Some twisted, insecure part of her had automatically assumed that, because he hadn't told her she was his imprint, she clearly was not. Every mile he ran away from her made him feel like he had physically left a part of himself back with her, and the desire to turn around to retrieve it was almost overwhelming. But he couldn't, because in addition to the pain that stemmed from a struggling imprint bond, there was the anger at her complete and utter stupidity, alongside a large amount of guilt since, no matter how angry he was at her, he would always blame himself for hurting her. He had been in Sam's head long enough to know that the bond never worked on just one of the two people involved. If he was feeling like his head was about to explode and he had left a limb with her, he knew Serena was feeling the separation just as acutely, though instead of guilt she was probably filled with confusion.

Jared, Sam and Seth were in his head at different points during the day. Or was it days? He didn't listen to any of them, regardless. He let the wolf take over, because the animal instincts numbed some of the pain, though it did nothing to ease his anger, and it also made him forget what exactly he had to feel guilty about. He had just reached the Canadian border when he realized that, for the first time since he had phased, he was alone with his thoughts.

He slowed down now. Was he far enough from the pack that he could no longer hear their thoughts, or had they all phased out and decided to leave him alone? Unlikely, since there was still a vampire on the loose. The thought alone made his stomach clench. Serena was off the Rez, but Sam would still protect her, wouldn't he? An imprint was bound to the pack by law, even if he or she ended up rejecting the wolf. Paul himself had shared shifts at the Young residence with Jared often enough when Sam had initially imprinted on Emily and she had moved back in with her parents and refused to see him. Would Sam make sure someone was watching over Serena too, if he couldn't? It would be one of the younger wolves, he was sure, because patrols would have to be given a wider perimeter to make up for the fact that a leech even within a few miles would be a danger. For a second, the guilt of leaving his brothers to defend the woman he was in love with while he sulked in a distant forest hit him hard, but then it was gone. How badly had he screwed up with time anyway? He should be smart enough to get over it, go to her house and beg for her forgiveness, but would she forgive him? What if she rejected him? Would that hurt less, or more? He wasn't sure.

But he was too temperamental right now. A stab of pain hit him at that moment, and he almost howled in agony as he limped towards a tree and slumped down against the base. The emotions seemed to hit him on and off; either he was thinking about her too much, or Serena was doing or feeling something strong enough to hit him no matter how far away he was. Every time he felt it, the urge to phase back into his human form and rush to her side was overwhelming, but he resisted. Paul knew that approaching Serena while in his wolf form and while he was in such a bad temper could end in disaster, but once the thought had entered his head how could he stop it? He could hide in the forest behind her house – she had described it so accurately that he was sure he could find his way around with his eyes closed if he wanted to – and catch a glimpse of her, just to make sure she was okay. He could even spend a few nights there, cool off and then go see her. Once he explained, she'd understand why he had hidden it from her, though the chances of them going back to what they had before the imprint debate had begun were slim to none. But that was okay, he told himself firmly. If she didn't want him in that way, he'd deal with it. He'd find another way, become her friend and earn back her trust so that one day she'd be willing to give him another chance.

And if something happened to her? The very thought made him growl. There was still a leech on the loose, one that had actually talked to her, been within a hundred feet of her, and it still made his skin crawl. Did she know he had spent every night for weeks after that day under her window, wide awake and watchful to ensure nothing could touch her? He doubted it. He had hidden the lengths he had gone through to protect her, because he knew she wouldn't have understood it. But now, as he got back onto all fours and made his way slowly back towards the thicket of trees that would provide him with enough cover while he ran back, he began to reconsider his policy. He remembered the way Emily had reacted to Sam, hell, even the way the mild Kim had reacted to Jared, and he had been terrified that Serena would treat him the same way, so he had thought easing her into something that would work better for him, in the long run, completely disregarding her feelings.

Did he not know her at all?