AN: Hello! It's been far too long! I'm really tired today, so I'm sorry if this isn't very funny... but thank you for all your reviews so far! x


Chapter 28

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory (and who is this?) sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! (I bet you wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I'd got you for your birthday. Ooh, what is it? A Barbie Rapunzel doll!) fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111 (yes, Raven, have fun with your kiwi! That's it… just stay there… pouring your kiwi some tea… -runs off to ring the madhouse- You know what, I can't spell kiwi first time round. It always ends up as 'kiwiw'.)(Haha, kiwi looks a bit like my name…!)

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak (no shit.) with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason (Marilyn Manson scares me.) all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. (The Doctor's blue box turned goffik.) There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. (o.O I'd be freaked out by that! I mean, come on! … Oh, no, Enoby, you didn't kill those poor Hufflepuffs and eat their meat, did you? And I'm not on about the ham sandwich with the crusts cut off I found you with last week.) I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings (I've decided I don't even want to know what those are.) and a blak leather thong underneath. (…I didn't want to know about your thong!)

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. (how do you sit dispersedly? Did you sit down and all your body parts fell off and dispersed everywhere?) So did Drako and Vampire. (Fjuck, the garlic bread just set the smoke alarm off! I fell off my chair, I was so surprised. My arse hurts like hell now…)

"Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine. (his albastard hand? Imagine, you go up to Vampire, hold his hand, glare at it, and scream, "YOU BASTARD!") He was wearing black nail polish. (GAY! And not cool with it. Kurt is cool. Blaine is cool –and hot- Vampire is… not.) I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it. (Ugh, I'm so not with it today. I was making myself a coffee earlier, and I put the milk in the mug first, the boiling water next and the actual coffee in last -.- I. NEED. THE. HOLIDAYS. TO. COME. I can't survive one more day of school. I can't.)

"Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. (Awww! –vomits-) I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. "The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort. (I still think this is like the most stupid plan ever. As a dear old lady once said: 'Machine gun 'em. Shoot them all!') Ill have 2 go bak in time" (BACK TO THE FUTURE!)

Draco started to cry sadly. (FJUCK! We get that your world is full of incredibly sad blue bunnies! No need to go on about it!) Vampire hugged him. (And cue Enoby screaming in jealousy.)

"Itz okay Eboby." he said finally. "But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?" (haha, Drako, you're so naïve! Of course she's gonna break up with you. This is Enoby we're dealing with.)

"Of coarse not!" I gasped. ('No, I'm just gonna go and seduce Voldemort, the most evil baddie in the history of baddies, and he'll probably fall in love with me the moment he sees me and we'll probably do it about fifty times in coffins and up trees and I'll be years and years in the past. But we can make this relationship work through all that, can't we?')

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure." I said. (whaaaaat idiots.)

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly. (PERV. O.O)

Then… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. (What? What the fuck did I just read?) He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. (you know tattoos are permanent, right, Drako? … OK. Just making sure you knew.) I gasped. (When don't you?) He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. (I think you really need to get over your Gerard Way obsession. It's not good to keep thinking of Gerard when you see your boyfriend naked.) Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4). (… WHY? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?)

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif. (… I'm just gonna pretend I know what she just said.)

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. (wait, they're just randomly deciding to have sex in this room? Is this a sex room? Eww... –shudders-) He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it. (…. HAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD… I'M PISSING! That was the funniest shit I've read all day!)

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. (I'm watching Forrest Gump at the weekend! I've never seen it before! 'Mama said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.' 'RUN, FORREST, RUN!' Yeah, that's like, the only bits I've heard of.) We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. (again, that's a little messed up.) Suddenly…. (MARTIANS INVADED. O.O)

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111 (…whom I now love even more for swearing!)