Author's Note: Good morning. Well, the writers are certainly good at injecting a little satire into the works. The politician/puppet master this week reminded me of every tea partying, GOP bickering person that's come up in the last few months. I mean, no one's been so blatantly racist but yeah…the writers watch CNN for sure. Okay, in order to make up for a lack of Reid/Emily interaction this week, I'm gonna write some drunken schmoop for them now. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"

"Hey, you've been saying that it's my last night of freedom and I can do anything I want! I want to see Emily!" Reid demanded sharply, all patience gone.

"Come on, man! You know it's tradition not to…" Morgan started.

"To hell with that! I want my woman and if you all aren't gonna help me find her, I'll do it myself! I'm not that drunk!" he snapped before trying to get out of the plush couches of the VIP area.

Actually, he was more than a little smashed. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi had shown up and told him to get ready to go out. After only a couple of minutes of arguing (Emily had already been abducted by JJ and Garcia), he had complied and dressed in some of the "club gear" Garcia had bought him years ago. He had on a black shirt with an intricate green dragon airbrushed on the right side, dark wash jeans, and his usual sneakers. A dark purple hoodie topped it off and he had gamely let Morgan pin a bright red sparkly 'GROOM' button on him. That pin had been an opening to free drinks during their bar hopping and Emily had given him a deep appreciation of Cuervo. By the time they had gotten to the Pink Jaguar, his hair was messed up in his eyes and he was feeling a little…antsy.

Okay, he was horny. He was horny and lonely in this debauched crowd and he wanted Emily. The women performing were good looking and many of them were staying near him but they weren't Emily. Their skin wasn't creamy enough, their bodies weren't curvy enough, their hair was the wrong color or shade of raven/brunette, and while they showed some intelligence, they didn't have the wry fire that he was accustomed to. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be with his Emily, preferably in a dark, quiet place so they could…

"Spencer?" a very familiar voice called on the stairs. "Dr. Spencer Reid, are you up here?"

"I'll be him if you want me to, sweetheart…", an oily voice offered.

The sound of a fist hitting flesh made him smirk. Oh, yeah. It was definitely her…

"Get off of me, you fucking sleaze! I'm getting married tomorrow! Can't you read? Spencer…" she called again with a plaintive tinge.

With surprising agility, he vaulted over the couch (dodging Hotch's restraining hand) and her face lit up as she spotted him jogging towards her. She had on a red t-shirt, fingerless gloves, and a knee length pleated purple skirt that was a shade darker than her tights. Black leather boots hugged her glorious legs and she had a sparkly red tiara on her head that read 'BRIDE' in lights. Wow. Garcia definitely came up with…

She slammed into him and instinctively, he caught her, hugging her close to him. Ah, much better. Much, much better. His woman was here and all was right in his world, now. After greeting her with a rather lewd kiss, he scooped her up in the fireman's carry back towards their area.

"I always like it when you pick me up. Makes me feel safe…" she murmured dreamily as they plopped down in a tangled heap. "Hi, guys!"

"Emily, where are Garcia and JJ?" Rossi asked laughingly.

"Probably still waiting for me to come out the bathroom down the street. I ditched them so I could find my man. This is supposed to be my special night and I can do anything I want! I wanted Spencer, they were arguing with me against it so I ditched them!" she replied with indignant pride.

"Good girl. I missed you. None of these women look right. The only lady I want to see in a state of undress and on a pole is you. Hell, just in a state of undress…" Reid leered with a wolfish grin.

"You're drunk." she giggled.

"So are you, Em. I like drunk on you. You still manage to be pretty and classy."

"I just called a guy a fucking sleaze!"

"He was a fucking sleaze and a stupid one at that. Trying to pick up an engaged woman…what an idiot."

"Mm-hm. That's why I only marry geniuses. Idiots waste my time and they're lousy in bed. You're not lousy in bed at all, not even the first time. Although, that was on the kitchen floor and not a bed…"

"Okay! I've heard enough!" Morgan laughed. "Emily, I'm gonna let them know where you are…"

"I don't want to leave him, Derek! Spencer and I have been busting traditions from the start! What's one more?" she protested while clinging tighter to him.

Reid agreed with her heartily and put her behind him protectively before picking up an empty champagne bottle like a club.

"Don't make me hit you, Derek."

"Reid, it's just to let them know she's safe. You don't want them to be worried, do you?" Hotch cut in. "We're not going to separate you two. We shouldn't have in the first place."

"Damn right. Come on, love. He's right. Put it down. You know anyone trying to make me leave you will end up in a world of hurt. Remember Doyle? He threatened you and I went all Xena on his sorry ass."

"And then I blew his goddamned head off."

"Exactly. Derek's not a crazy UnSub. Just annoying."

Morgan's indignant protest made him smile and put the bottle down, reaching to put her back on his lap. She cupped his cheek and started going to town on him, plunging her tongue in his mouth like it would be illegal in the morning. It wouldn't be. They were getting married in the morning and she could go to town on him any time she wanted to until one of them died. Logically, he knew he was more likely to outlive her but he hoped not. Not because he didn't adore her but because he knew that his life would be less of a life without her. He had already been in that dark place when Doyle resurfaced and he didn't want to go back there. Outlive her or die at the same time…that was the solution…

"I suggest we get them home. God knows it'll be hard to explain to Strauss them getting arrested for public lewdness."

He definitely liked that idea and so did Emily, if her leading him downstairs by the belt was any indication…