Max:Hahaha! Oh man you guys are gonna love this! We should get popcorn together.

AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.

Disclaimer: Sorry to my boy readers. This chapter is girl problems, you can read it but just be prepared to be uncomfortable/disgusted.


Linda

I got up dragging my feet all the way to the bathroom. I got up to flush the toilet when I stopped and stared. Oh my…it seems that my problems have come today. A quote from Max's mom.

I grabbed a…problem napkin, from under the sink.

"GOD DAMN IT!" I heard Ana yell from the room next door. I see she has the problems too.

I peeked into my mom's room.

"Do you need new underwear?" I asked standing by the doorway.

"Yes please…" Ana muttered with embarrassment. I walked back to our room (hoping no one was sleeping) and opened the door walking to Ana's drawer.

I walked back to my mom's room and handed Ana the new clothes. Including a problem napkin. I walked to the kitchen to eat something.

"Yo?" Deidara called out. "What's with the yelling?"

"Yeah, you're distracting me from my money counting session" Kakuzu said annoyingly.

"I'm dealing with the problems and so is Ana. P.S be careful" I warned them, and went to go eat something.

"Oh" Itachi called out. "Is it that problem?" I slowly turned around.

How did he know?

"What problem? There is so many problems. Mental problems, tax problems, oil problems, government problems, Max problems, and the list goes on!" I exclaimed putting a hand on my hip.

"No. The monthly problem…you know what it's not my place to bud in" Itachi said going back to read. Well, I guess he is too smart.

"What's up fuckers!" Max yelled as she entered the house.

"Was that necessary?" I asked her.

"Fuck you!"

I pouted my lips and frowned.

"That is not polite!"

"So where's Ana?" Kisame asked taking a chair from the table.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ana yelled walking past the group and to the kitchen.

"Well damn Debbie downer" Hidan yelled. "What's up with you?"

"Well she's on-"

"LINDA!" Ana snapped. I shut my mouth.

"Oh I get it now" Max said smirking. She quickly grabbed the fruit loops and sat on the floor to watch the show unfold. I was about to join her, but I didn't want to risk staining my pants, unlike someone I know (Ana).

"You! Keep your mouth shut!" Ana screamed at Max.

"Oh now I get" Sasori nodded.

"How do you know?" I asked him.

"I work with puppets, humans. And yes, I do work with girls." He said sarcastically, well I think he was.

"Oh the hard part of being a woman" Konan sighed understanding.

"It's so cool to have another girl for us to learn from" Max said admiringly.

"Wait is it went it's…" Hidan trailed off trying to find a substitute for the word. "Uh, red times?" I nodded. "Man I had my own personal encounter. So I was with this girl and we were getting ready to fuck, when I see the bitch was…let's call it staining. So I'm like the fuck, but she's cool so we end up fucking and making a huge mess."

"Wait for it" Max said.

"Then I sacrificed her."

"There it is."

I stared disgustedly at Hidan. How messed up and creepy could he get (and his stories). You know what, I don't think that would be smart to answer. The rest of the Akatsuki nodded finally understanding. Well except Deidara and Tobi. I understood why Tobi, but Deidara?

"Wait, I don't get it?" Deidara innocently asked. We stared at him.

"You, seriously don't understand?" Pein asked in disappointment.

"Well jeez of course not! I joined the Akatsuki when I was around 12 years old. And the only female we have, was never around!" Deidara yelled defending his lack of knowledge. We all awkwardly look at each other to see who would ruin his childhood. I know he's technically an adult, but you can still ruin someone's childhood.

"I, Max, will give you the information you seek" Max said getting off the ground and sat down next to Deidara.

"I don't think I have ever worried of someone getting the wrong information" Kisame called out doing some self reflecting.

"Look Deidara, you know what sex is right?"

"Of course I'm not an idiot"

"Okay, do you know how babies are born?" Deidara nodded his head.

"Like know, know" Kakuzu clarified.

"Your jizz races to the girls egg when you fuck to make a baby" Hidan yelled cutting to the chase.

"Graphic as always…" Konan muttered, Hidan winked at her.

"Yes" Max continued. "So what do you think happened to us girls who aren't sexually active or if you are, not on a type of birth control?" Deidara shrugged.

"Every month or so, the uterus lining gets thicker to prepare for a fertilized egg if the woman becomes pregnant. If the egg doesn't get fertilized, that lining is released from the body as blood through the vagina." Itachi interrupted, getting straight to the point.

"This monthly process is called menstruation or a period." Sasori added.

Tobi slowly got up. He suddenly let out a piercing scream, that made all of us cringe. Tobi ran and locked himself into the bathroom as the poor boy was scarred. Deidara sat there starring at Ana and I in disgust.

"You too sure know a lot about this" Pein looked over at Itachi and Sasori. They shrugged.

"Do you get all that information from the books you read?" Kisame asked, examining the current book Itachi had. Which he glared at the shark man for.

"So do you get as bitchy as the rumors?" Hidan asked Ana smirking. Screw it! I don't care if I stain myself. I grabbed the fruit loops and sat on the floor next to Max and Deidara.

"I don't want to deal with all this" Ana said glaring at the Jashinist.

"Oh, what can't handle me?"

"Seriously Hidan! I'm not afraid to stick a spoon up your ass."

"Whatever bitch face" Hidan casually sat down. Ana face redden with anger.

"Way to make yourself look weak!" Deidara taunted. He's catching on. Ana shot him a glare at him, and at me. I didn't even do anything.

"Can I call you bloody marry?" Kisame asked.

"No" Surprisingly it was Max who answered. "That's my nickname, you'll just have to wait later"

"Oh My God! You are all so-"

"Jashin to you ma'am" Hidan corrected her. Ana stormed out the living room slamming the bedroom door hard. So hard that it rocked the house. Everyone slowly looked over at me.

"I don't get that way" I informed them. "I just look dumber, is what Ana tells me"

"And I go into weird phases" Max also told the group. "I was in a curious phase, normal phase, frustrated phase (almost wanted to cry), cleaning phases, cooking phase, mispronouncing words phase, a book phase. It just gets odd"
We all nodded and stayed silent for a while.

"So how old are you guys?" Deidara asked.

"Enough to suffer!" Max yelled.

"I say Amen to that comment" I yelled out like a posh woman.


AN: Wow, that was something wasn't it. Aren't the Akatsuki and Max such good teachers!

Well I'll leave you be, you're probably gonna have to take some time to reflect on the chapter. Sooo…

Bye!

Oh, I'm starting something called after hours. It's just a little bit of after the chapter. I won't do this with every chapter but most.

No perspective- Narrative.


After Hours:

"Wait" Deidara called out getting everyone's attention. "Didn't you end the previous chapter like that?"

"It's just a little continuation of that little Akatsuki forget:," Max said clarifying her work.

"I liked it" Linda said putting a piece of chicken in her mouth.

"Well that seems lazy" Kakuzu muttered into his cup of water. Max stuck her tongue out.

"Well it doesn't matter, especially now." Pein said. "Let's just move on"

Hidan cleared his throat, since he has a talent for reading. "Merry Akatsuki Christmas. Wow, really?"

"You are in no place to judge!" Max yelled. "Let's just go!"