Title: Discordant Harmony

Chapter Twenty-Eight: If I Could Say the Words


"Hello?"

Raito blinked as he knocked the door once again, receiving no answer in response. The 23-year-old frowned to himself as L began to scratch the bottom of his heel against his jeaned-leg, wide eyes gleaming uncomfortably in the early afternoon light.

"Well, that's strange." The young brunette mumbled to himself as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his enormous set of keys, all jingling rather obnoxiously as Raito attempted to try each one against the lock on the door.

"Is Raito-kun a janitor in his spare time?" L questioned, blinking in disbelief.

"Why do you ask that?" The brown-eyed man inquired, still fumbling with his large mass of multiple keys.

"…"

Large charcoal colored eyes simply stared at the conveniently unaware 23-year-old, not sure how to take the sudden naivety.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Raito asked while innocently gazing at the artist, the large ring of keys hanging off his fingers as L's eye twitched.

The boy blinked in obliviousness.

"… No reason, Raito-kun." L replied dryly, not sure how his lover could be so smart and yet still so stupid.

It amazed even him, sometimes.

"You're weird, L." Raito ignored the muttered insult sent his way ('Raito-kun manages to keep an ensemble of keys that never seem to jingle nor bulge out from inside the pockets of his extremely tight pants at all times, and I'M the strange one for observing such a thing?' the older man snapped back) and finally managed to open the door, smiling in both relief and excitement.

"He-llo…" The moody brunette called out once again, slipping out of his shoes and carefully looking around the seemingly empty house.

"Uh…"

Raito stiffened in the hallway, L coming up behind him as he stared up at the staircase in disbelief.

"Did you hear that?" The light-haired artist panicked, his face crumpled up in anxiousness as he grabbed L's hand, the sound of someone continuously groaning and another moaning reverberating down the stairs.

"Did you?" L replied, not really sure what to make of the strange moans and groans.

"Ngh…"

"Sounds like somebody is dying up there…" Auburn colored hair swayed in time with the movements of younger man's head shaking in question, not sure if he wanted to know just what was going on in the household.

"Oh…"

"Did you hear that, too?!" Raito exclaimed, now definitely sure he didn't want to know what was going on. The voice was starting to sound strangely familiar…

"I most definitely did, Raito-kun." L brought up his free hand to his lips, gently chewing on his thumb as Raito huddled up closer to his person, feeling even more frisky than usual.

"Do you think… we should go up there?" The boy meekly suggested, both rationality and cowardice warring a battle inside his own head. There was really no reason to be scared…

But something inside of Raito was most definitely telling him he did NOT want to go up those stairs.

"I don't know, Raito-kun…" L murmured, the same feeling crawling up the pit of his stomach.

"Grr…"

'WTF?!' Both men thought to themselves as they glanced at each other, eyes both widening to epic proportions.

"Oh… Sou-chan…"

CRASH!

"We… have to go now." Raito muttered, quite sure he was now scarred for life.

"…" L simply stared at Raito, not sure whether or not he should be turned on or not.

This was the first time in his life his libido actually felt confused.

"You like that darling?"

Raito's face turned a disgusting shade of putrid green.

He was quite sure no child should ever have to hear the things he was hearing his parents doing, so very, very loudly.

"You know I do, Sou-chan! Ah!"

"L…" Raito shut his eyes, dragging his stumped lover by the arm whilst putting on his shoes, barely giving his boyfriend enough time to do the same. "I think we should go to Misa's house."

"Agreed, Raito-kun." L allowed himself to be dragged out of the house, eyes wide with shock. The anonymous artist was quite sure his parent-in-law's (That's what they were, damn it!) had just ruined any chance he would have had of getting laid in his boyfriend's old bedroom…

Or in that house in general.

Or near that house in general.

Or just in general.

"Yeah! Harder! Deeper!"

"Like that?"

"YES!"

"I think… I need to throw up." Raito quickly slammed the door shut, pulling his lover out of the house and into the Rolls Royce still parked out front, practically running to the car as L simply kept his mouth shut and allowed Raito to lead the way.

Even his perverseness had limits, and that limit had been reached about five minutes ago.

"Sweetie, did you hear something?"

"Nope, not a word. Get the paddle out, won't you dear?"

"Of course, sweet heart."


"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

The driver frowned as both his employer and his boyfriend stayed silent, only speaking when giving the driver instructions to the location they were now heading. He couldn't believe it, but there was no molestation whatsoever during the entirety of the car ride.

Did his boss learn the art of self-control within the last fifteen minutes?

The driver doubted it…

But still! There was a good six inches of space in between the two men, both gentlemen looking quite uncomfortable as they refused to meet each other's gaze.

Maybe a little music wouldn't be so bad…

"Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten. Power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston. Pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle. Cannonball the fiddle cove-Ooh la la-With the pork steeple."

Raito and L only looked that much more uncomfortable.

"If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then, in lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though I Brazilian wax poetic so hypothetically I don't wanna beat around the bush…"

The driver didn't even bother to touch the dial as he sweat dropped in disappointment.

"Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo! Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo!"

Both men looked at anything besides each other as the song continued to play, their libidos crushed for the time being despite the suggestive lyrics.

"Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where! Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where!"

"Let's make a pact to never speak of this… ever." Raito mumbled, his face a pale crisp white as his fists clenched in frustration.

"Pronto!"

"Agreed." L concurred, quite sure that if he ever wanted to get laid again, he'd have to erase the extremely disturbing images of Raito's parent's doing the nasty in his head with something a hell of a lot more pleasant.

"GAH! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM MY PANTS, RYUUZAKI! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"

Like him and Raito doing the nasty, for instance.

"But Raito-kun, what better time than the present to erase these most… disconcerting images with a good make-out session? I'll make it worth your while…"

"What do you mean… by… that…?"

The artist blinked as the perverted man next to him grinned creepily. The younger artist blanched as the radio's bass began to hum within the car, shaking his head in exasperation as the creepy grin got that much wider.

"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love; Love's going to leave me..."

"Bow-chica-wow-wow…"

Raito sweat dropped as the man beside him began to strip, slowly pulling his shirt off once again, his face as blank as always.

"You cannot be serious." The younger man backed up against the car door, quite sure that doing it with his boyfriend was now officially off his to-do list.

His parents had a way of ruining things for him without even trying.

"Raito-kun, I am desperate and in need of your assistance. Would you leave your boyfriend in this distraught state?" L tilted his head to the side, sliding his shirt off his arms as he peered at his lover with large shimmering eyes.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt; So sexy it hurts..."

"… … So would the erection in your pants be considered 'distraught' as well?" Raito gave the man a dry stare, eye twitching as L began to tug on his pants.

"If it was, would Raito-kun caress it and make it feel all better?"

"…"

"Raito-kun? Would you? Please? At least a tiny bit?"

"And I'm too sexy for Milan-"

Tug.

"Too sexy for Milan-"

Pull.

"New York and Japan..."

Zip.

"And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party; No way I'm disco dancing."

"You… are sick."

"I'm a model, you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk-"

"If I am sick, then I am certain my needs must be attended to. Raito-kun, take off your pants and attend to my damn needs. Bow-chica-bow-chica-wow-wow…"

"Yeah, on the catwalk on the catwalk, yeah!"

Tug.

"I do my little turn on the catwalk..."

Tug.

"I'm too sexy for my car-"

Strip.

"Too sexy for my car-"

Vein Pop.

"Too sexy by far..."

"ALRIGHT, STOP IT WITH THE STRIPPING ALREADY!"

"But Raito-kun…"

The driver winced as he stared straight ahead, quite sure that if there was ever a time he wished he had another job, it was now.


"Does Raito-kun have a massive set of keys for Misa's home as well?"

Raito's eye twitched, watching the man zip up his pants as he exited the car and shuffled towards the younger man entering the apartment building.

"… … Yes."

"Ah. Surprise, surprise."

Eye twitch.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, Raito-kun. Nothing at all…"

The annoyed brunette muttered a rather colorful array of words aimed towards the painter in question under his breath as he pulled out another set of keys from his pocket, hoping against high hope that this time, he would not have to hear or see anything that would scar him for life.

'I may never do the nasty ever again…' Raito shivered unconsciously, L choosing to ignore what could have brought on the creeped out look set on his lover's face.

Raito wasn't the only one permanently scarred from the day's events.

'And it's not even two o'clock yet.' Both men thought simultaneously, one lamenting over the lack of sex in his life at that moment in time whilst the other just lamented his life in general.

It was pretty obvious who was thinking what.

"What does Raito-kun think we shall find in Misa-san's apartment?" L queried as he gave the boy a knowing look.

Raito's face then turned three different shades of red all at once.

"You mean besides Misa and Sayu?" The cinnamon-eyed man squeaked, making the older man that much more suspicious as they both waited for the elevator next to an elderly woman and what looked to be her grandson.

"Yes, Raito-kun, besides Sayu and Twiddle-Dumb." Ebony eyes widened as they blankly stared up at the rigid young man beside them, Raito refusing to meet the suddenly very intimidating gaze quickly analyzing him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The smooth lie exited Raito's lush lips rather easily, the artist patting himself on the back as he turned to lock eyes with his gutter-minded lover.

L simply continued to gaze up at the still flushed man, his eyes bordering on bug-eyed as the dark-haired man continued to widen his impervious stare.

"Raito-kun is hiding something from his boyfriend." The paranoid artist announced quite loudly, the older woman and child suddenly swinging their heads around to stare at the mortified 23-year-old and his apparently very much gay boyfriend. "Probability of finding something that will either anger me or embarrass Raito-kun up 38 percent."

"Ryuuzaki…" Raito growled out warningly, L continuing on without even stopping to acknowledge is irate lover.

"I doubt Raito-kun will have sexual relations with me tonight if he continues to lie to me the way he does…" L drawled out, his thumb straying to his mouth as the grandmother's jaw dropped, hands immediately coming down to cover her grandson's no longer virginal ears.

Raito's eye twitched just for good measure.

Ting!

The elevator swayed open as both men walked inside, neither surprised when neither the grandmother nor the grandson approached the still open door.

In fact, it was safe to say they both took a very large step back and hoped to high heaven they were not going to be on the same floor as the two eccentric artists.

"Do you have to embarrass me everywhere we go?" Raito muttered, caught in between wanting to laugh hysterically and wanting to punch the aggravating insomniac.

"Does Raito-kun really want the answer to his question?" L hung back against one of the elevator's walls, a triumphant gleam lurking within his unblinking sight. "I suppose that whatever is inside Misa's apartment shall both anger me and embarrass you, then?"

"Best of both fucking worlds…" Raito glared down at his shoes, hoping L could not hear his agitated murmurs. "Yay for me."

"What was that, Raito-kun?"

Ting!

"You'll see soon enough…"

Raito pushed past the confused pervert, walking towards the right apartment with a new-found dread. Hopefully Sayu was inside the living room, waiting for them to greet her and wish her a fond fare-thee-well so that he could go home and FINALLY get some damn work done.

And possibly get mauled by L.

But only if he didn't piss him off. Otherwise, L could kiss his perfectly toned ass.

The door quietly swung open, both artists apprehensively toeing inside the both very spacious and very pink apartment as they eyed all available exits (i.e. the door the two arrived in) and continued forward, hoping to have better luck this time.

Unfortunately for Raito, this was not the case.

"Misa's tastes in apartments are very… flamboyant to say the least, Raito-kun." L commented as he stared at the multiple half-naked pictures the girl had placed on the walls of herself.

Raito sweat dropped.

As both men continued down the rather large hallway, L peered into one of the many rooms open, nearly tripping over his own sneaker-clad feet in sudden uncharacteristic shock.

"Raito-kun…"

"Yes, L?" The younger man winced as L's mouth went slack and his thumb fell from his lips.

"Is that… a shrine?"

"…"

"Is that a shrine… to Raito-kun?!"

"…"

"Why does Misa hold a shrine for Raito-kun?!"

"…"

"Raito." L commanded quite seriously. "Look at me."

Raito furtively glanced up at his semi-irate lover.

"Why is there a giant life-sized picture of a posing nude Raito hanging above a shrine dedicated to him in Misa's apartment?" The older man ground out, his face as impassive as ever.

"Because Rai-chan sure does some weird stuff for his lovers!" An extremely peppy voice exclaimed from behind the dismayed brunette, quite sure he was going to kill his best friend later. "You wouldn't believe how many crazy-crazies Raito has gone out with! Some of them even put YOU to shame, Ryuuzaki!"

L's lips curved into the most miniscule of frowns, but though L's face remained relatively expressionless, Raito could definitely see the rage blazing within the artist's eyes.

"And just how many lovers has Rai-chan had, Misa-san?"

Even Misa had the good grace to shut her mouth and not answer that question.

It only made L all the more furious.

"I demand that this shrine be decimated and that the picture of Raito lay within my possession!"

Both Raito and Misa stared at the artist rather knowingly.

"I would rather not think about what you would do with a giant nude picture of me within your house, L." Raito snapped, shutting his eyes as he began kneading the bridge of his nose with his hand.

The perverted grin on L's face said it all.

"Besides, Misa-Misa paid a lot of money for that picture!" Misa exclaimed, face a bright crimson. "You wouldn't believe how many people keep trying to either steal it or buy it off of me!"

Raito's eye twitched.

"None-the-less…" The anonymous artist strolled over to the shrine, surprisingly creeped out by the amount of Raito-paraphernalia set around the over-sized picture. "This shrine must go. Only I may be pleasured by Raito-kun's delicious body and presence."

"You are such a freak, Ryuuzaki." Misa stated, nonchalantly.

Raito could only agree, absolutely mortified.

The older man shrugged as he glared at the monstrous shrine, the age-old possessiveness he felt dominating the ever-logical side of his brain. L half-way turned to leave the room, thoroughly disgusted at the display that most definitely should not have been when something slightly shiny caught the corner of his wide-eyed gaze, his anger once again spiking off the charts.

"Is that a… a… a magazine dedicated to Raito?!"

A sheen of light bounced off the laminated paper as another scandalous picture of Raito with the words "Sexy Raito-Sama all the Time!" on the cover lay innocently on the table next to the Raito-shrine, slightly propped up by the other multiple magazines covering the small space.

On the bottom-right corner of the magazine lay a small picture of Mikami Teru giving a thumb's up, obviously more than happy to have his face plastered next to Raito's gorgeous body.

"Yes?" Misa squeaked.

In a flash, L came nose to nose with the gothic supermodel, hands twitching in anger. "Who else has one of these magazines, Misa-san?"

"Meep." The perky blonde backed up against the wall, large brown eyes widening as she nervously toyed with the hem of her incredibly short black lacy skirt.

"Who DOESN'T have a subscription to "Sexy Raito-Sama all the Time!", created specifically by creepy fan-boy extraordinaire Mikami Teru?" Another female voice joined the conversation, this one much more pleasing than the last. "You'd either have to be related by blood, like moi, or completely and utterly blind to not wanna piece of that sexy man-meat."

"Sayu!" Raito exclaimed, his little sister looking a bit rumpled, but no worse for wear. "I've been looking for you everywhere! Why the hell haven't you answered any of my phone calls?!"

The young girl blushed as she toed the carpet, altogether ignoring the two other people in the room as she mumbled something rather discreetly.

"What was that?" The gorgeous brunette was really not in the mood for his sister's suddenly shy disposition, quite sure the innocent act was hiding something he really wasn't going to like.

"I SAID that I lost my phone at the club aftermeetingupwithsomebodyonthedanceflooranddrinkingandhavingagoodtime."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Met with whom now?"

"Raito-kun understood that jumbled mess of words?" L asked admirably, moving his sights from the magazine to the giant picture of his Rai-chan on display for all the world (and Misa for God's sakes!) to see.

Even if it was kind of hot.

Sayu blushed once more, taking note of Raito's furious temperament beginning to shine through.

"Somebody… nice?"

"Sayu…"

"Raito, I'm not a little kid anymore." The hyperactive sister sighed as placed her hands on her hips, her lips curling into a frown. "I know you want to protect me, but this is ridiculous. Misa was with me the whole time, anyways."

Everyone just stared at the young girl in exasperation, including Misa herself.

"What?!" The pretty brunette exclaimed, blinking in naivety. "At least I wasn't by myself!"

"You might as well have been." L ground out, not even wincing as the bubbly blonde herself grabbed a rather heavy looking metallic vase and threw it at his head.

Raito couldn't help but think he pretty much deserved that.

It was at the sound of L's voice the second time around that caused Sayu's eyes widened, a dreamy mist seeping through the young girl's gaze as she skipped over to her older brother, a rather mischievous grin setting over her lips.

"But enough about me onii-chan! How have YOU been?"

Raito's eye twitched at the memories of the strange wake-up call, worriment for his sister, making out with his boyfriend in a car whilst his driver was IN said car, being traumatized by his oh-so-kinky parents, and embarrassment of being put on the spot by his lover about his friend's, fans, and all of his ex-lover's creepy idolization.

"I've been better."

"Everything good between you and lover boy?" Sayu whispered, glancing at the older man out of the corner of his eye as L shooed Misa away from his immediate person and continued to gaze up at the nude picture of his lover.

Raito turned to the side, a slow smile spreading across his face as his lover began to drool, still staring at the naked picture of himself that hung over the huge shrine made for the up-and-coming artist.

L would always be a person that would want to do things his way, and would use whatever means to get what he wanted. He would probably lie to Raito, try to manipulate him, make up stories, and even scheme to ensure his own success.

There was an air of aloofness to the man that even now made him unreachable; something he covered up using his supposed perverseness and very random comments. Yet it was all an act; smoke and mirrors used to cover up the anger and sadness the man to this day did not know how to deal with.

Sex was L's security blanket; a way to ensure he was cared for and to express to the person he was being intimate with that they were, in some way, revered in return. The random comments were his way of breaking the ice, since already being strange to look at made it easier to play the weirdo card. The impassiveness was the man's shield; a barrier so fragile, Raito was sure even the smallest of instances could (and would) break it.

This one person had a past both so tragic and amazing, that Raito was sure that if fully told, he probably wouldn't even be able to believe it all. L had obviously been through all nine gates of Hell and back, and still had enough room in his heart to feel something other than the overwhelming emptiness that took over a great deal of the man's emotional being. There was so much good and bad that created this one so very complex man that it all becomes distorted so that it made it difficult to say which was which.

Could someone like Raito look past all this emotional chaos and truly cherish the person underneath it all?

"Onii-chan?" Sayu blinked as Raito's small smile bloomed into a full-fledged grin, his eyes a clear mahogany brown as he nodded his head, making his way towards his ready-to-pass-out-from-horniness boyfriend.

"They're as perfect as perfect can be."

Sayu grinned as Raito gave her a wink and strode across the room to grab his preoccupied lover by the wrist, rolling his eyes as the older man gave him one of his signature leers. Raito nodded at Misa, who was now ranting and fuming at the still-ignoring her L, giving her a small pat on the head and telling the young girl not to even bother.

L was off in La-La land anyways.

"Two things before I go, my lovely little sister." Raito stopped at the door, ignoring the now impatient insomniac tugging on his arm. "One; you must now introduce this man or woman you have met and bring them to the house so that they meet proper dating protocols."

"But Raito-!"

"No buts! If I don't meet him within the next week, I'll do it on my own terms."

Sayu grimaced.

Her brother got crazy once he got that evil-older-brother-gleam in his eye.

"Raito, you go out with a perverted man whom we still don't know all that well and whom dad wants to murder in brutal and excruciating ways." The young girl dryly stated, quite sure her family was insane. "I think anyone I go out with is a step up in Dad's eyes. I think the hobo that lives in the cardboard box across the street is a freaking prize in Dad's point of view at this point!"

"Which is why I have to meet them." Raito stated.

"And I as well." L finally interjected, nodding in agreement.

"Et tu, Ryuuzaki?" Sayu pouted.

L blinked as he tilted his head to the side.

"Of course, Sayu-chan. Who better to judge any potentially perverse, strange people than a perverse, strange person themselves?" Raito nodded as both men finally reached the doorway, ready to make their way down the hallway and back to Raito's apartment.

"But what about the other thing, Raito?" Sayu asked hesitantly, not sure if she really wanted to know by the sudden creeped-out look on both L and Raito's faces.

"… … Don't go back to the house for another three or four hours." Raito finally squeaked.

Sayu blinked.

"And if you do, remember to bring disinfectant, a mind-eraser, and a spare change of clothes." L added in, looking paler than usual.

" Ooooh…" Sayu flinched as the words became apparent, not knowing if she could ever go inside her parent's home without conjuring up the funky imagery her brother and his boyfriend had just implanted in her head.

Misa just tilted her head to the side.

"Huh?"

Without another word, the lover's left the apartment in record time, not even bothering to take the elevator and running down the stairs.

"Look, Grandma! It's those two guys that like to have se-sex-ual re-relations together!" The same little boy from downstairs cried out as the older woman opened the door to one of the apartments, about to step out once again as she blinked in disbelief. "What does that mean anyways, Grandma? Do they like to play a lot with each other?"

The poor woman sweat dropped as she pulled her grandson back inside and closed the apartment door.

Some things were better left unsaid.


"To your apartment, Raito-kun?" L questioned, both men managing to make it outside without either molesting or killing the other.

"Yeah… Today's been a tiring day." Raito stretched his arms over his head as the cool autumn breeze ran through his auburn locks, eyes closing in contentment. "Are you going to stay over for a little while?"

L smirked as they both entered the car, their driver nodding his own greeting.

"Actually, Raito-kun…"

"I'm so addicted to all the things you do when you're going down on me in between the sheets all the sounds you make with every breath you take its not like anything when you're loving me."

Raito raised an eyebrow as the pale man's cheeks actually flushed a small bit, grabbing his cell-phone from his pocket as his lover eyed him queerly.

"Please tell me that that's not someone I need to be worried about?" Raito laughingly commented as L pulled his legs up on the seat and snapped open the phone, setting the phone a couple inches away from his ear.

"Of course not, Raito-kun. It is merely Aizawa. The ringtone simply reminds me of Raito-kun and his impressive oral skills in be-"

"Of course." The brunette rolled his eyes as he laid his head against the cushions, ready to take a nice, long afternoon nap.

"Is everything all set, Aizawa?" Raito heard the man mumble, not really paying attention to what the older man was saying. Rumbles were all Raito heard from the other line of the phone as L nodded, his face impassive as he gleamed at Raito from the corner of his dark-eyed gaze.

"Very good. I shall be there shortly."

The younger artist's eyes popped open as L shut his phone, digging it back into his monstrous pockets.

"You're not coming over?" the 23-year-old pouted, nearly breaking L's resolution. "I could make it worth your while…"

"As tempting as that sounds…" The dark-haired sugar-addict ground out as he rubbed his toes against each other. "And trust me, Raito-kun, it is most definitely tempting, I have much to do before our rendezvous tonight."

"Rendezvous?" Large cinnamon-colored eyes peered over at the panda-like man, not liking the satisfied smirk on his face. "When did I agree to go on a date?"

"Does Raito-kun wish to go on a date tonight?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Just now, then. Now, Raito-kun should get himself prettied-up and ready for a nice evening with his lover, who is just waiting for a good chance to jump his bon-"

"We're here." The driver coughed, having stopped about two minutes ago.

Raito looked over at him gratefully. "Thanks."

"I shall pick Raito-kun up at 6:00 p.m. sharp. Please do not be late." L stated in his usual monotone, his eyes drooping ever so slightly. Raito nodded as he began to step out of the car, glad to finally be in his place of residence.

"And Raito-kun?" Pale fingers quickly grasped onto the younger man's tanned arm, startling the boy as he turned to face the rather vacant-faced artist. "I…"

"You'll see me later?" Raito offered once the raccoon-eyed man refused to speak thereafter.

L simply nodded, letting go of the younger man's arm and watching him as he entered the apartment complex.

"Sir?" The driver questioned, noticing the forlorn look encasing his employer's usually blank features.

"Take me home, if you would please. I have many things I must attend to before 6:00 p.m. tonight." L grabbed a rather scruffy looking lollipop from his back pocket as he zoned out, imagining just what tonight's events would come to signify.

'If only I could say the words, Raito-kun… If only…'


Disclaimer: So many songs, so little time. I do not own "Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo" by the Bloodhound Gang, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred (Thanks for the suggestion, Kit-chan!) or "Addicted" by Saving Abel. (Once again, another awesome song suggestion from the great Kitsune55!) Yikes, tone it down much, Hari-chan?

Lol! This chapter managed to disturb even me. And that's just sad. o.o;;;; Hopefully you guys found it as hilarious reading it as I did writing it. Many thanks to Kitsune55 for beta-ing for me! And now, two more chapters to go! We shall definitely go out with a 'Bang!' if ya know what I mean. Lol!