Making Fiends
Hey, y'all! Thanks for stickin' with me; I know I haven't updated in ages, but I've been busy with Runa and Knightfall. Also, thanks to Marukaite Chikyuu Doitsu for your review. I absolutely squee'd when I read it, so thanks a million! :D It's really heartening to hear that, especially from a new reviewer. So, I updated after forever and a day! Enjoy!
Jack hadn't actually planned to kidnap the new guy. It had just sort of worked out that way. He had gone to battle the Xiaolin Losers, brought some upgraded Jack-Bots and lost. Nothing too out of the ordinary, really, but he had been getting more wins lately, so all was good. The new Jack-Bots had more spikes, just for looks. The leader even had a mohawk. They were pretty cool, but most of them got trashed. So he had flown back to base with what he could salvage, his dozen or so remaining robots trailing after him. Once he got back to his evil lair, he had decided to take a break and watch some TV, when he heard a crashing sound coming from his lab. He ran in to see some short guy wearing a jacket trying to detach himself from a Jack-Bot. The hood had caught on one of the new spikes, and Jack recognized the guy from the Temple.
Moments after helping him down, Jack was surprised to recieve a grin and a higher-pitched "Thanks!" than he had been expecting. Then the guy had glanced at him and asked "What? Somethin' wrong?"
"Uh, no, it's just that... I didn't really expect the Xiaolin Lo- ahem- Warriors to be taking on another guy." The boy with the jacket laughed and shook his head.
"Oh, well, y'see-" Then, all of a sudden, his eyes flashed, and he looked a lot more menacing than he had a few seconds ago. "... Did you just call me a guy?" If possible, Jack went even paler. That explained the pitch of the voice. And now that he looked, the features were kind of... feminine-ish, though the outfit didn't help. Nor did the haircut. Before Jack had a chance to explain this, however, he found himself being flung across the lab. "I! AM! A! GIRL!" the girl shrieked, hands in fists and eyes aflame.
"Jack-Bots, get him! I mean, uh, her!" She wasn't as experienced as the others, so she went down fairly easy. Jack suspected that was also how she had gotten caught on the robot in the first place. He had the Jack-Bots put her in the birdcage he'd used while capturing Kimiko (newly repaired and reinforced), much to her chagrin. She mostly kicked and clawed at air, straining to get out. "You'll never hold me! Nothing can hold me! I am Baaaaaane!"
"What?"
"I vill break you!"
"Why a German accent?"
"'Cause I can't do a South American one. And Bane is from South America or Mexico or somewheres. So shut yo mouf!" After assigning a few Jack-Bots to guard her, Jack had left to go buy some more pudding cups, the girl shouting at him in some other language until he shut the door. He paused outside, listening to make sure she wasn't trying to escape. He heard silence for a moment, then- "So, you guys know any good prison songs?"
Jack had arrived to one of the weirdest sounds he had ever heard. When he entered the lab, he had nearly dropped the grocery bag full of pudding. Thankfully, he had been in too much confusion/awe/WTF-ment to let go of the bag. The sound was not one he had ever expected to hear, and yet, there it was.
"Do ya like waffles?"
"Yeah we like waffles!"
"Do ya like pancakes?"
"Yeah we like pancakes!"
"Do ya like French toast?"
"Yeah we like French toast!"
"Doo doo-doo-doo can't wait to get a mouthful!" Jack stormed down the stairs, pushing through his Jack-Bots to face the girl. "Great job, everybody!" she chirped. "'Cept for you, Billy. You were a little flat." A robot near the back hung his head.
"What are you doing?" he screamed in a voice that was not at all really high. The girl, who was swinging on the bar inside the cage, turned to him and grinned
"Yo! I'm just teaching all your robots here to sing," she explained. "You can thank me after you hear 'em do Good King Wenceslas."
"Wha- no! NO!" Jack stormed over, shoving the Jack-Bots aside to face the cage. "My Jack-Bots are vicious killing machines! They do not sing!"
The girl shrugged. "Whatever you say, dude. They can be kinda pitchy, sure, but as for killing machines... well, you got your albino butt handed to ya earlier. Not too vicious."
Jack glared daggers at her. "Feh. You would say that. You're on their side, after all." The girl tilted her head but didn't say anything, so Jack began to monologue. "I mean, I work so hard to constantly improve my Jack-Bots, day after day, only to get them destroyed! The only way I can even win at Showdowns is by cheating. And if that's not enough, my social life is down the toilet too, since nobody wants to be friends with the nerdy freak who's rich so he must be a snob too. And even if they did-"
"- You've already pulled away from any social interaction so that anyone who's kind enough to be friends with you doesn't have to go through the crap you do every day. After all, why put somebody else through it if you could save them the trouble by going it alone, right?" Jack stopped his pacing and faced the girl, confused. She just smiled and shrugged. "You're not the only nerdy rich freak in the world, y'know. Other people know what it's like. I do." She jumped to the floor of the cage and held her hand through the bars. "My name's Emma, by the way."
Jack stared at her hand for a moment before hesitatingly reaching over and shaking it. "... Jack. Jack Spicer."
The girl shook his hand vigorously, grinning broadly. Then she said in an echoing voice that sounded nothing like hers, "Houdini," and pointed at the lock on her cage. She stepped out briskly, and when she spoke again, her normal voice had returned. "Well, nice to make your formal aqcuaintance, then, Jack! I take it you're evil, what with the basement lair and robot army and all?"
"Uh." His surprise at hearing her voice go all weird and her getting out of an industrial-strength cage had rendered him mute for the moment. Emma, however, took this in stride, and began poking around his lab, chattering on all the time about how cool robots were and wasn't it neat that he was albino just like Elric and occasionally breaking into song about the strangest things. At one point she was singing about demolition rickshaws, if he heard her correctly. Finally, she stopped running rampant and joined him again. "So, ya got any first-person shooter games?"
"Well, Emma, you suck at this."
"SHUT UP, DORKFACE."
"You're so meeeaaan!" Jack sobbed, glaring at Emma. She just stuck her tongue out at him.
"Don't be such a baby." She pulled up her sleeve, revealing a watch. "Ahh, I better get goin'. Well, this has been fun, Jack! See you around!" She hopped off the couch and headed for the door. "Same time next week, okay? I'll bring Oreos!"
"Uh..." And before Jack could answer, she was gone. He shook his head in amazement, before realizing what she said. "Wait- she's coming back?"
A/N: Teehee! Not the best of friends, huh? Leave a review on your way out; I need oneshot ideas! Even songfic ones! Just help meeeeee~ DX
