Chapter Twenty-Eight: Congratulations, Brother.
He had to do something. He wouldn't…couldn't just sit around like this. It had been almost four months since she was taken. Those fuckers had to pay…It was a mantra that he repeated often, especially after a few drinks were in his system. Something he used to steel himself against the pain, against the doubt. No one leaves Sirius Black.
Those were some the last words he'd said to her. Were they true?
He pounded back another shot of firewhiskey, his resolve growing. They had to be.
What were they doing to her? Why did they take her? He should have known that she wouldn't want to go willingly. She was acting. She really did love him. All those things she said were a lie. A mean, cruel lie to make him let her go…so he wouldn't get hurt.
His glass had been filled again, so he shot that back as well. He signaled for another and drank it immediately.
But he did get hurt. He had never hurt so much in all his life. He never thought he would ever care this way about anyone, let alone a woman. He honestly loved her. And she still left you, didn't she, tough guy? How much can your love mean to her? His inner voice questioned harshly.
What if what she said wasn't a lie? What if she meant every word?
After nine shots, the resolve that Charlie needed to be rescued got weaker and weaker.
What if I went there to save her and she had me killed…or worse, simply sent me away? What if… The darkness that he worked daily to keep hidden in the back of his mind had broken through the barriers he'd put up. Barriers weakened by alcohol and doubt.
Sirius sat brooding on his stool in the bar, glowering at the bar top. When he would look up and notice the full shot he would down it. When he looked around him at the rest of the bar, he noticed that it was empty, except for himself and a few other regulars. It was a lock in. He snorted, so it's come to this. He took another shot.
"Just leave the bottle, Tom," he said, his eyes still downcast, his dark hair in his handsome face. His forehead was crinkled in thought as he stared at the dark wood of the bar top. The lights were low, the music was pounding softly in the background, the regulars were nursing their drinks and their thoughts. It was all so mind-numbing and routine that Sirius hardly noticed when another body slid onto a stool next to him.
Sirius took a swig straight from the bottle and whispered, to no one in particular, "Walking through the green and staring at the blue, I'm counting all the stars and not thinking of you. 'A penny for your thoughts,' you said. I turned away from you. My thoughts, they did betray me. I still won't think of you. 'No penny for my words,' I said. 'No words I have for you. No words to tell my heart, my love, no words from me to you.'
"She hit you pretty hard then, didn't she?"
Sirius looked up at the man sitting next to him and squinted. Alcohol and low light were not a good mix for discerning faces.
"I never thought you of all people would let a girl get under your skin. Sure, she's a pretty little thing, but is she worth it?"
Sirius looked away from the stranger and barked a dark laugh. "So now I'm hallucinating. My conscious has finally become its own entity. You look similar to me, your voice sounds the same. Of course, it's the only explanation. Heh…"He shook his shaggy head and looked dead eyed. "So it's come to this."
"I'm not your conscious. I'm here to help you."
"Oh, here to help me, eh? What, like the ghost of Christmas Past? I didn't know that drinking conjured hallucinations. Not drinking firewhisky, anyway. And now I'm talking to myself. Great."
"You are not hallucinating, Sirius."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "That's why you sound so familiar, then?"
"I sound familiar because I'm your brother, you arse, and I'm here to help you."
Sirius let out a bellowing bark this time. "Oh, so you're just bullshitting me, then? My wanker of a brother up and joined the Dark Side. Didn't have single bone in his body that wanted anything to do with me, much less help me. And here you come, all, 'is she worth it?' and 'I'm here to help you.' My brother helped no one but himself. You are bullshitting me."
"I'm being completely genuine with you. Charlie is being held captive by Evan Rosier and the," he lowered his voice, "Dark Lord. Look, can we move somewhere more private and talk about this?"
"Why, afraid you're going to be overheard by your kind?" Sirius scoffed. "What do I care what you have to say. You're probably just working for the Other Side anyway, just trying to make me do something rash and stupid to get myself killed, not that I'd mind since living as I am is no existence. Losing the one you love more than anything is not a pastime I enjoy and I get bored of even the most interesting things."
"Well, you've brooded about it this long enough, why not actually do something about it? Take action? Rescue her? Rescue Charlie!"
"She doesn't need me. She's the one who left, remember?" His scowl deepened, the creases in his forehead becoming trenches as he remebered. Who was this man really, Sirius wondered. It felt so natural talking to him. "And she sure as hell didn't seem to need me then."
"Goddamn it Sirius, this is important!" The man stood up and dragged Sirius off the stool and toward the back rooms. Tom, the barkeep, kept out of the way as Sirius was manhandled into a secluded room.
Sirius, never one to be forced into anything, tried to put up a fight, but only half-heartedly. If this man was going to kill him, let him. He was tired of it all. Tired of the hurt, of the ache of missing a part of himself, the agony of trying to heal something he didn't want to let go of.
The man slammed Sirius into the closed door. The lights were brighter in this room. Sirius looked blearily at the face of his brother.
"Regulus…" he breathed.
"Sirius, I don't have much time. I wasted most of it trying to find you. Do you know how many bars you frequent? Anyway, Charlie does need your help. She's being held in the Rosier manor. It's a meeting place for…my kind. It's not heavily guarded. I mean, who's going to fuck with us? Seriously."
Sirius was shaking his head, instantly sobered.
Regulus continued, "I'm not going to lie to you, they do want you to attempt a rescue, I don't know why. But I thought by my warning you it would go more smoothly for you."
Sirius shook off his brothers hands and quickly spun, pinning him to the wall. "What if that's what those damn dirty Death Eaters want me to think?" Sirius growled, his face inches from his brothers. "They probably only sent you here as bait. Sent you with a sob story about Ch-…her because I would trust you. I remember all that you did to me. I tried to help you, Regulus, and you spat in my face. I don't need any of your help or tips."
Regulus shoved back against Sirius, and they scuffled. Sirius finally slammed him into the wall again.
"Why are you really here, Regulus?! Tell me." Tears were in his eyes.
Regulus looked up at his older brother, his own eyes shining now. "I'm falling out of love with this life style. I'm trusted and expected to do more and more in the perfecting of wizard kind. But, I hate it. One doesn't simply leave the Dark Lord. So, I play my part and do my best to thwart suspicion. But it grows harder by the day. I'm being sent on a mission soon, one I don't intend to come back from. A mission I plan to use to my advantage. But I want to help some of the people I hurt in the past. Since I can't bring anyone back from the dead, I decided to focus my efforts on you."
"You're such a bastard Regulus."
"Think what you want. Just get her out of that house. She's miserable. She's…"
Sirius drew Regulus toward him and then slammed him against the wall. "Don't talk about her."
"Listen," growls Regulus. "Either save her or don't. Help yourself or don't. I care, but I;m not going to force you. I'm going to die, Sirius. This life is killing me and I've had enough. The best day to go in is three days from now. The place has been steadily clearing out and if it continues on the same trend then that day will hold the lowest number of supporters. Get some people to help you and get. Her. Out." He broke out of Sirius' grasp and took a few steps away.
"There is a servants entrance that you should be able to get into. The slaves in the kitchen won't bother you. If you go around dusk it's dinner time, so the kitchen will be relatively empty. Please, do something. It is good to see you, brother. I wish it were under better circumstances."
"How do I know you aren't setting me up?"
Regulus shrugged. "You just have to trust me, brother. I'm sorry if it doesn't work out. But stay safe. You're about to be a daddy soon."
Sirius' head snapped up in surprise. "What?"
"You're having a baby, brother," Regulus smiled ruefully. "Congratulations." And he apperated.
