AN: Thank you guys so much for the reviews! It meant so much to know that you guys actually still cared about this fic. It started out as something just for me, but it's easier to love something when you know others do too. This is a movement chapter. A lot happens in it, but it's putting me in place to take us where we need to be next.
Emotions weren't his strong suit. The fact that he'd been very happy at all was a rare occasion for Jayne. Therefore, this bipolar swing from incredible happy to utterly destroyed was enough to crack any man of weak emotional constitution. Therefore, Jayne reached out to the only emotion he knew he was good at – anger. And with it, he wreaked chaos.
The change was noted by nearly everyone on the crew – at least everyone who didn't matter. Each day that passed when the pompous doctor didn't even leave his quarters, Jayne grew angrier. His frustration directed itself into discontent with Mal for being so slow on his uptake of jobs, and their inability to find the stupid mafia boss they were after anyway. The arguments between captain and mercenary became more frequent and more than once, Zoe had to step in and pull Mal off before he pushed Jayne into doing some incredibly stupid.
This alone, should have been enough to convince Mal to send Jayne off on the very next planet they landed on, but, as he found it, he would need an extra man more than he realized. Runan was not exactly the sort of place one goes to find crew members. Even in a spot and with nearly no standards at all to speak of, the planet was completely devoid of anyone who seemed to know the difference between hand grenades and an automatic rifle. Mal certainly wasn't happy with the thought of keeping the intolerable mercenary aboard his ship at this precise moment.
None the less, despite his begging and pleading, he found he could not change the minds of his pilot and his medic. Simon had come up to him only a few days before landing and informed him that he and his sister needed to leave. Not surprisingly, this came as something of a blindside to the captain and only worsened his already foul mood. He asked for the reason and got nothing more than that the two had something they needed to do, and if all went well, they might contact him in the future. Desperate, he tried to get from the doctor, what, exactly they had to do, offering to help them but was met with a cold, stern response that he would have never expected from the core-grown young man he'd hired on his ship in the first place.
And so that left Mal Reynolds here, standing on the docks at Runan, staring across a primitive farm planet, cursing his luck, and dreading the thought of spending one more day on the ship with the ungrateful Jayne Cobb. To make matters worse, they hadn't been able to make contact with Durintrel in nearly a month now and had no update as to Inara's condition. Their job was simple enough, at least. It was an easy delivery – a legal delivery to boot, of surplus corn to a planet not too far off that was currently suffering of famine. It would only take them a few days and perhaps there he would have some luck in hiring a new mercenary and, if he was very lucky, a new pilot who knew the difference between a Firefly class and a Bonzai.
Mal grunted one final groan of frustration before radioing up to Zoe to prepare for takeoff and walked up the ramp into the cargo hold. Already, the ship felt empty. He did a mental head count – four. Four crew members was hardly enough to attempt anything dangerous now, and he hoped that the 'easy' drop he was hoping for would actually go as planned. Of course, they never did, but Mal could hope until his face turned red. He trudged up the stairs to the helm and, with some assistance from Zoe, managed to get the ship in the air and pointed in the right direction. For now, the mercenary was silent and for that, Mal was grateful.
It isn't surprising then, when a few days later, the drop that was supposed to be easy, turned into the regular nightmare that the crew of Serenity had come to expect. As much as he'd have liked to blame Jayne for the entire altercation, he knew that, were it not for Jayne having such a suspicious and trigger happy mind-set, they probably would have never made it out of that place in one piece.
As soon as they landed, it was suspect something was wrong. Instead of the starving peasants Mal had expected to find, he was greeted by a band of well-dressed and plump-looking executives with a small band of suspicious looking body guards. They introduced themselves as the ambassadors for the peasants in the local villages and explained that they would be more than happy to relieve the cargo from their hold at double the asking price and deliver it, respectfully, to the local village. To prove their story they produced one very meager looking fellow, a local, to shakily announce that their story was true and that the villagers would receive their due in good time.
This is where Jayne's rashness actually turned out to be fortunate for them. Having balled up all his anger in the past few days, he opened fire. He first took out the bodyguard who seemed to have the charge over the rest, catching the others off guard and leaving them somewhat unsure of what they were to do next. Jayne then quickly took out three more body guards before turning on the plump fellows doing all the talking. Those were the ones that had gotten under his skin in the first place anyway.
Mal was slow to react, resulting in a bullet from one of the remaining bodyguards to plant itself squarely into Jayne's right thigh. Fortunately for him, it appeared none of them were armed with weapons that were any good, and, despite the incredible pain he found himself in, the rage gave him more to go on. In a hulk-like rage, Jayne turned his gun on the remaining body guard and then watched as Mal finished off the last "ambassador", leaving only the ragged villager standing amongst a small collection of dead and broken bodies. Jayne aimed his weapon at the villager whose hands were now in the air. Jayne let out a long breath.
When he next awoke he was laying in the infirmary. Mal had caught him perfectly across the head with a solid punch to prevent him from putting a bullet in the starving villager. There were restraints around his arms and legs and one more across his chest. Zoe was already at work putting a final stitch in his thigh when he looked up.
"Gorram doctor couldn't even bring himself out to do a quick patch," he mumbled, angrier still at the absence of the doctor even in his own infirmary. "Goes to show how useless he is. All high and mighty and better than easy fixes, huh?" Jayne clenched his fists as she tied the last knot in the thread.
Zoe looked down at him with a very concerned look on her face. She stared at him without saying a word and tried to read his face. It wasn't his ignorance of the doctor's departure that concerned her the most – it was the annoyance with the doctor – the doctor that they had all come to suspect was becoming unexpected friends with the mercenary – what up until a week ago. She looked at his rough, anger filled eyes, and behind them she saw something she hadn't expected at all. She saw pain. Of course, it wasn't the kind of pain she was expecting. It wasn't the pain from the wound in his thigh that she had finished patching up. It was a deeper, an emotional pain, and she found herself desperate to know what it was from.
"Jayne, Simon's not here. He left when we landed on Runan. He and River both left."
And in that moment she saw an even deeper pain behind his angry eyes. She saw a desperation, a pleading to be told that this wasn't the truth. She saw him squirm against the restraints, uncomfortable. She watched his nose wrinkle as he fought back what could only be considered more anger.
What it really was were tears. Jayne still hadn't cried. He didn't remember how. Up until now his anger had done its job in distracting him from the pain he was feeling. He was so confused, so hurt. The doctor had bared his heart, shown him love, shown him concern, and then left without a kind word or a smile. He'd left in a rush, as if desperate to get away from him, as if – disgusted by his actions. Jayne grunted and strained some more against the restraints.
"You about done then?" He tried to move.
Zoe just stared at him, transfixed by this transformation on Jayne's face. She didn't understand it but a part of her could feel it. Something similar that she'd experienced before. The loss. Still curious she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. She looked him in the eye, suddenly realizing something she'd been so blind to until now. She undid the restraints around his arms and chest and then the ones on his feet and stared, helpless, as the mercenary limped out of the infirmary as fast as he could back to his bunk.
The truth was, under Zoe's stare, Jayne suddenly felt naked. As if she was looking into something he was trying so hard to keep hidden. It was as if she could see right through him and he didn't like it one bit. Back in his bunk, he fell on his bed, punching the mattress as he fell. The doc was gone. Probably forever. Probably because he was disgusted with himself for kissing such a person as Jayne was. Probably because Jayne had scared him off with his rugged good looks and charm. And Jayne would never get to tell him how he really felt.
But now, he didn't care. He couldn't care. It was no longer his concern. Simon had made the decision that what might exist between them was a mistake that he didn't want to make. And Jayne just couldn't care about it. What was done was done, he would move on. His body shook as he let go of the hope. He let go of the emotions. He felt numb and alone. He curled up into a ball on his bed, leaving his wounded leg lay gingerly to the side, and he fell asleep, numb and alone, but ready to move forward.
AN: We will go back and see what Simon is up to, no worries. Please continue to review – I love to see what you guys are thinking!
