A/N: Alrighty so this part was hard to do because of Gaara saying he doesn't love anyone and all that stuff. You all should know the episode. But I tried my best with it so I hope its good!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto just Ami.
Naruto relaxed a little and smirked. "He can act like a demon if he wants to but you know what? I've got the real thing inside of me!"
My eyes widened. 'What? Does he really have a demon in him too?' It didn't seem like he was bluffing like Shikamaru was doing earlier. Naruto's smirk turned into a glare as he watched us.
Shikamaru nudged him. "Idiot. Leave this to me! What's the point of getting him mad?"
"A demon huh?" Gaara said finally speaking. "My demon is as real as yours is." I looked up at him shocked. Was he going to tell them?
Shikamaru gasped and Gaara spoke again. "From my birth my upbringing was not what most people would consider a happy one."
I looked down sadly. I knew this story all too well. Considering I was around for most of it.
"To ensure that I became the strongest of shinobi my father had cast his ninjutsu on me, infusing my unborn self with a sand spirit. I destroyed the life of the women who gave birth to me. I was born a monster."
Naruto's eyes widened as he gasped. Shikamaru looked terrified.
"Its name is Shukaku." Gaara continued. "And its a living incarnation of an old monk of the sand village who'd been sealed up in a jar of tea."
Shikamaru closed his eyes then opened then again. I figured he was trying to compose himself so he could speak. "Yeah, some kind of demonic jutsu." he said. "But to use it on a baby before its even born? Man that's creepy." Naruto looked from Shikamaru to Gaara and I could see the fear in his eyes. Shikamaru smirked. "Gee, what a swell guy your dad must have been. He really must have loved you a lot."
If I had control of my hands they would be in fists right now. I loathed Gaara's father more than anything. I couldn't understand how he could do something like that to his own son.
"You speak of love?" Gaara said quietly. "Don't measure me by your standards." I looked up at him. "Love....family. The only emotional ties I have to my family, are the ones I like to wrap around their necks. They're only ties of hate."
Naruto and Shikamaru both looked to me before looking back to Gaara, and I knew what they were thinking. They were trying to figure out why I was with him if he didn't love me. 'But that's not true. Gaara loves me. He told me he did......' I sighed and looked away.
Gaara continued speaking. "Given life by the death of my mother I was brought into being and was nurtured as the salvation of the village. I was the Kazekage child. My father taught me the inner most secrets of the shinobi. He pampered and protected me. And left me to myself. For a time I thought that was love."
Naruto and Shikamaru continued to stare at him horrified. Gaara glanced at me. "That was before I met Ami." My eyes widened and looked at him. I smiled slightly, glad that we had become friends. And now more. He looked away from me and toward the other two. "And that was when everything started." I looked away from him sadly.
"When what started?" Shikamaru asked.
"What was it?" Naruto asked angrily. "Are you gonna tell us or not?!" Gaara was looking at the ground. "So go on! What started?! What was it?!" Naruto persisted.
Gaara got a twisted smirk on his face and looked up. "In the 6 years since I became 6 years old, my father tried to destroy me more times than I can count."
I kept my eyes to the ground. Naruto and Shikamaru looked freaked out before Shikamaru frowned. "You just finished saying how your father pampered and protected you. So which is it?"
Gaara continued to smirk and his hand started shaking. "Those who get to be too strong are apt to become feared. The jutsu that gave me birth had unbalanced something in my mind. Even the fools in my village finally realized I had....emotional problems."
I sighed making the other two glance at me. It was true. Everyone in the village was terrified of Gaara. Except me. Ever since I met Gaara he had been nothing but kind to me. We had become best friends the day he saved me from those boys. And eventually, even though I knew what he was like, I couldn't help falling in love with him.
"My father the Kazekage created me as his ultimate weapon." Gaara continued. "But I eventually became a threat to the very village I was meant to save. By the time I was 6 I became a figure of terror to the villagers. To them, I was a relic of the past who the wished would disappear."
I could tell Naruto and Shikamaru were completely freaked out by this whole thing. They hadn't said anything for a few minutes.
"So you see I had failed at the one purpose for which I was given life." Gaara smirked. "What then was left for me in this existence? Why go on living? For a long time I couldn't find an answer to that." Gaara glared at the ground. "But in order to live you need a purpose. To exist for no reason...is the same as being dead."
"What is this guy talking about?" Shikamaru asked. I looked at Naruto and saw the expression on his face. It was filled with fear and....understanding?
"Then in time the answer came to me." Gaara said with his eyes closed. "To put it simply my reason for living is in the killing of others. For years I lived in fear of those who were sent to murder me. But now I am at peace." he opened his eyes. "I killed many would be assassins. And it was while I was doing it that the truth became clear to me: I live solely for myself and I love only myself."
Shikamaru glanced at me. "What about her then?"
Gaara looked over at me as I slowly looked up at him. "All of this was how I felt before I met Ami. Now, I live to protect her also."
I smiled lightly and if I had control of my body I would have kissed him. I had hoped that me being friends with Gaara would have helped him stop killing people and start being kinder to them. But I found out that that was impossible. The villagers would always fear Gaara, and because I was friends with him, they shunned me too.
Gaara looked back at Shikamaru. "As it was the death of my mother that first gave me life, now it is Ami and the death of others that sustains me, that makes me almost happy to be alive. And there's no end to it. As long as there are still people to kill in this great wide crowded world, I will never disappear."
Shikamaru's eyes widened in fear and Naruto's eyes still held that same understanding in them. But why? It was like he understood exactly how Gaara felt. He continued to stare at Gaara terrified and took a step back.
"Hey! Where are you going?!" Shikamaru asked angrily. I noticed Gaara's sand coming out of his gourd and I knew what he was going to do. Shikamaru had his back turned and was still staring at Naruto. "What's wrong?" Both boys heard the sand and quickly looked at Gaara.
The sand was flowing around our feet. Shikamaru glared at us. 'Gaara doesn't have to move to make his sand attack. That's what gives him the advantage in a battle.'
The sand rose up into the air. "Naruto!" Shikamaru yelled looking back at him but he stopped at seeing his expression. Naruto was frozen with fear. "Hey! Wake up! Oh man what a drag!" The sand rose higher ready to attack and Naruto still wouldnt move. "Naruto!" Shikamaru yelled again. I stared not knowing what to do. Should I stop Gaara? I didn't really care for Shikamaru too much-especially with his whole sexist thing-but Naruto was my friend.
"Now, help me feel alive!" Gaara said as his sand rushed at the two boys.
"NO!" I yelled.
"Alright that's enough." All 4 of us turned to the door. Lee's sensei was standing there. "Save it 'til tomorrow. That's when the final competition begins." He walked in and looked at Gaara. "You're just wasting it today is that what you want?"
Gaara grabbed his head and his face twisted in pain. "Gaara!" I yelled reaching for him concerned.
Gaara breathed heavily as the sand slithered back into his gourd. I hated seeing him in pain. But I didn't know how to make him better. One of his hands dropped to his side and his breathing slowed. He looked up at the three leaf ninja then walked to the door. He stopped and turned. "All the same I will kill you. Just you wait. I'll kill you all." he turned away and walked out.
I watched him go then looked at the others. Naruto was still staring at where Gaara walked off but the other two were watching me. "Oh." I bowed quickly. "I'm very sorry! Excuse me." I ran past them out the door and ran to catch up with Gaara.
A/N: So how was it? I told you it was hard to do but I think it turned out alright. Anyway, review please!!!
