A/N- don't expect anymore for a few days, but I might, JUST might be able to sneak on a computer while i'm away. maybe if I get enough reviews, i'll have more motivation too ;) check out the authors notice, leave a review and answer my question k? thanx so much;)


BPOV

The hallway seemed to be shorter tonight. The doors on my sides spaced further apart, less forbidding. I could reach out and brush my finger tips on the doorknob. It sent unwelcome tremors up my arm and I withdrew it. I wanted so badly to know what was behind it, to know what was haunting me every night. I starred at the door, a thing I'd been doing recently, wondering if it would ever happen, if I'd ever figure out what was mocking me with such smug satisfaction. I took a useless step forward, the door glided away from me. It was moving further from my step everyday.

I sighed, no, it was never going to happen. I took a step back, shying away from the cruel door that would never leave me. To my surprise, the door came closer to me. I cautiously took another step backwards. The door was within my reach again. I had the urge to jump on it and wrestle it to the ground as if it were an animal and keep it from escaping me until I found out why it was there. I one final small step backwards. I stretched my hand out to the door slowly, I didn't want to lose it now. I felt it, the silvery smooth metal under my hand, the electric pulse it sent radiating through my whole body that left my hand to my shoulder completely numb. Then it all slipped away.

No!

No, not now! I just got here! It'd taken two weeks! I grappled through the darkness, stretching my fingers through the air. It had to still be there, somewhere in this charcoal pit. I couldn't believe this! I finally got there and it just disappeared! I woke up with my face in the pillow, screaming.

I flipped onto my back, panting. I expected it to calm, to slow down, until I realized that my chest was throbbing with the bubble of confusion. "Not now!" I yelled at myself, wishing the bubble would just go away. I felt the need to poke a needle through my chest just to ease the pain it brought me. My efforts were wasted as the throbbing grew more pronounced at my words. I threw myself out of bed, throwing a quick look at the clock. It was seven, at least it wasn't too early for me to go downstairs.

I rushed down, taking the stairs two at a time, and tripped at the bottom step. I flew to the ground and landed hard on the floor. It sent pain piercing up my legs that only muted the pain that was growing in my chest. I threw my hands to the ground and hit it hard with two small fists. The answering thud was far louder then I'd expected. My hands were numb.

It wasn't until I saw water hitting the ground beside my hands that I realized I was crying. How strange of me not to feel the sobs shaking through my body. I crawled forward and stretched out my legs behind me. My right knee was bleeding, the cut was pretty deep, I'd splintered the wood on the old floors. Other then that I was unharmed. I took a deep breath and tried to keep the dizziness from getting to my head and walked unsteadily back up the stairs to clean the small gouge in my leg.

I tried to keep my mind away from the horrifying nightmare that had filled my mind over the night. I couldn't allow myself to think of how close I'd been, so I let my mind wander to the usual topic it settled with. I had one week left.

I had spent the last five days the same as all the others, only now instead of Alice coming and studying with me I was accompanied by Edward. Nothing had changed, every moment was full of awkward silence and meaningless blushes. Every now and then though, I'd look into his eyes and see something . . . something familiar maybe? It was hard to describe because the moment I looked I would have to look away just as fast, the bubble would throb painfully, beating with my heart. I was learning though, so much better then I had with Alice, even though Edward was such a distraction whenever he smiled at me.

After I cleaned my knee off and had it safely bandaged I headed downstairs to clean up the evidence. I was faintly dizzy as I cleaned the small pool of blood I'd left, but I would have felt far worse if it hadn't been my blood. I sauntered into the kitchen, suddenly hungry, the moment the blood was gone and I'd done my best to beat the wood back into place. A note rested on the counter and I slunk over and read it. Bella, it read

I'm out fishing with Billy for today, I'll be back around five/five-thirty, be ready to go over to his house for dinner. Sorry Bells, you don't have a choice -Charlie

I grimaced. Since when did Charlie make decisions for me? I was positive that this didn't happen even before I forgot everything. I sighed as I pushed it aside and headed to the fridge. I was bound to have to deal with Jacob sooner or later. He had been my best friend, I shouldn't be ignoring him like this anyway. And I think I missed him. I really didn't know anymore. I didn't recognize much of my emotions, I needed to learn yoga.

I ate breakfast, keeping it simple with just cereal. I lazed around, doing some of my school work, answering an email to Renee, and pondering what I was going to do. I knew I couldn't leave Alice, but she truly was one of the only reasons I was seeing in staying right now. I was dying to be rid of this obnoxious bubble of confusion filling my chest, granting me much annoyance. Still though, I was afraid of how it would feel if I were to actually leave. Something inside of me snapped at the thought of it, but I couldn't figure out what beneath the intense throbbing of the bubble.

I was lying up on my bed thinking this all over when the usual tapping on the door woke me from my trance. I'd completely forgotten that Edward was still coming over today, this put me on the defense. I ran a brush through my hair and didn't bother to change out of my sweats. I was in my house, I should be able to dress how I want I decided in my mind. I was careful going down the stairs to prevent myself from falling again, I didn't need another replay of this morning. I threw the door open and stood to the side, allowing him to come in. He smiled at my subtle greeting and stepped inside like any other day.

"Hello Bella," he greeted me like he had for the past five days. "How's your day been?" I made a face, clearly it amused him for he laughed. His laughter knocked the breath out of me and I doubled over and felt my knees shake. Ow, oh my god, since when had the bubble caused me this much pain! I fought to regain my breath and found myself just hyperventilating. What was going on here?!

His cold hands grabbed my hunched shoulders and tried to shake me from my rigid posture. "Bella, Bella what's wrong?" His right hand cupped my clammy face and tilted my chin so he could look into my eyes.

I yelled in the agony that looking him directly into the eye brought me. It tingled now, although that couldn't fully describe it. All I knew is that it was unfamiliar and, as far as I was concerned, unwelcome. I shied away from his touch. The moment his cold hands left my body it became . . . bearable, to some extent. I looked up at him, panting, in complete awe.

"What was that?" we both asked at the same time, though neither of us laughed. I cringed away from the sound of his voice as it irritated the bubble.

"Why do you do that?" I wasn't quite sure if I was asking Edward or the bubble of unfamiliarity. I felt Edward's eyes burning into my back until I finally looked up and met his gaze.

"Do what, what did I do, Bella?" his voice was burning with irritation and curiosity. I fought to keep my breathing even.

"The pain, the unfamiliarity, the confusion right here," I tried to explain in multiple different ways, though I could tell he wasn't going to understand that way. I pointed at my chest where the bubble was. "It hurts, or something like that, whenever I see you or think about you or anything like that. I, I just don't get it." I blushed and looked away, feeling like a crazy loser.

Edward reached for me but thought better of it. "I don't understand Bella, do you want me to leave?" Despite his efforts to hide it, I could hear pain coloring his tone. I shook my head urgently, too quick in response.

"No, no, let's go study." I ordered, forcing myself to straighten up. I took a deep breath and gave him an assuring nod. He motioned for me to lead the way. I stumbled up the stairs and roughed it out, despite the crippling feeling in my chest. We stayed focused on my schoolwork for quite sometime until Edward brought up the time.

"It's been two hours, you want to take a short break?" He suggested, his voice light. We were much farther ahead in my work then was expected. I could go back to school next Monday and wouldn't have all that much difficulty keeping up. I stole a glance at the clock, it was quarter to five. I gasped."What's wrong?"

"I just forgot," I told him as I jumped up and looked through my drawers for something to wear. "Charlie's forcing me to go to Billy's for dinner tonight." I heard his jaw clench. I turned around to see why that was and gasped again, dropping the clothes in my hands.

His face looked deadly, a look of pure hatred etched across his god-like features. He looked like a monster and then a memory from weeks ago clicked into my head. The tense face off in front of this house, Edward's deadly crouch, Jacob's menacing posture as he shook . . . he shook with anger. And I could tell, no I knew there was something extremely deadly about his anger. Maybe that's why I'd thrown myself between them. I hadn't understood it then, why I'd thrown myself between two total strangers, but I felt that I wouldn't have lived had one of them gotten hurt in front of my eyes when I could have done something to stop them.

"Edward-"

"You're not going, Bella." I cringed away from the acid in his tone. I composed myself and scowled back at him.

"What makes you think you can tell me what I can or can't do?" I demanded, trying to deliver just as much acid as he did and failing miserably.

"Bella, trust me, you-"

"'Bella, trust me'?!" I repeated angrily. "Oh no, I'm going Edward, you have no right to tell me what I can't do!" I gasped again and doubled over as the aching in my chest grew as my voice got higher.

"Bella-" Edward started to protest, but Charlie cut him off, calling to me from downstairs. I straightened up, panting slightly at the pain.

"Charlie's home," I whispered, narrowing my eyes at him. He looked at me, awaiting my verdict. I saw the true concern, the worry for me deep in his golden eyes. I didn't quite understand fully why he was so worried about me going over to my old best friends house. There was something else in his eyes too, hatred. Oh, so that was it. The only reason he didn't want me to go was because he hated him. Prejudice, foolish boy. I shook my head at him

"I'm going to Jacob's." I spat before turning on my heel and heading out of my room. His cold arms caught my waist. I was too distracted to notice the pressure the bubble imploded against my chest.

"Don't, please, don't go." he pleaded. I shouldn't have looked up, I should have avoided his eyes. They burned into mine. The hatred had all but vanished and was replaced with fresh worry and stress and a third emotion I wasn't familiar with. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it.

"I'm sorry," I said, weaseling my way out of his arms. "Will you still come tomorrow?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I don't know." I starred after him as he glided down the stairs and out the door with mute infuriation.

Should I really have done that?