"I would have come with her if I had known," Damon said through gritted teeth. Stefan rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his already tousled hair. He was mentally and physically exhausted – the breakup with Elena and the current conversation with his brother were absolutely draining him. The impact was less visible on Damon, who was still high from his time with Elena. "She shouldn't have been left alone with you."
"I wouldn't have hurt her," Stefan snapped back. The memories of what happened when they were both under Klaus' influences tore him apart from the inside out. The idea that he could stand by and watch Elena suffer was no different than inflicting the pain on her himself. He had heard her screams, heard her pleas and her desperate cry for help – for his brother. "And we needed to talk alone."
"You're lucky that she's okay, otherwise we'd be having a much different conversation," Damon warned his brother. "Where've you been anyway? I've wanted to talk to you for a while now but every time I come by here – it's like a ghost town."
"There are some things I had to take care of."
"That's suspiciously vague," Damon questioned – his blue eyes narrowing into slits. Stefan rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. "What things?" the elder brother pressed. Stefan raised his own eyebrows, an obvious indication that he wasn't going to give anything up anytime soon. Knowing better than to press the issue, Damon changed the subject. "Alright, I'll find out soon enough. What I actually wanted to talk to you about was-" he began.
"What's going on with you and Elena?" Stefan blurted out. Damon was taken aback slightly by the bravery and tinge of regret in the question. He pondered how to answer it. Should he tell him that he hasn't been home because he's been with Elena? How much does he already know? What did Elena tell him? Where do things stand with him and Elena? Are they in the friend zone? How can he answer any of Stefan's questions when he has so many of his own?
He isn't completely sure where things stand with him and Elena either, he'd been too busy enjoying whatever it was that Elena was willing to give him to bother asking a question that could potentially break his heart. Damon stared into his brother's eyes, unsure how to answer a question he'd been asking himself for weeks, months even.
"I don't know," Damon answered honestly.
"What do you mean 'you don't know'?"
"I think it's pretty self explanatory, little brother."
"Can you not be a sarcastic ass for five seconds?" Stefan asked, his emerald eyes wide with sincerity. A small frown found itself on Damon's lips, his forehead furrowing together in mock disappointment.
"But sarcasm is so much more fun!" Damon insisted. A low growl erupted from the back of Stefan's throat when suddenly, Stefan blurred across the room. The Salvatore brothers were now standing toe to toe, their eyes burning holes into each other's eyes. Stefan was trying to decipher what Damon's game was, while Damon was trying to figure out if he was talking to his brother the do-gooder, or his brother the ripper.
It became evident after a minute of staring each other down that this was dangerous ground they were treading on – Elena's ground was always dangerous…far more lethal than any ground they stood on fighting for Katherine.
"What is she to you?" Stefan blurted out. Damon's gaze fell to the floor, his thoughts unable to form a coherent thought or feeling.
Elena was so many things to him. She was his best friend, his worst enemy. She was both his heaven and his hell. She was both his strength and his weakness. There were days when it became difficult for Damon to decipher between the two.
"She's…" Damon struggled with the idea of telling someone other than Elena how he felt. But this was his brother – this was his brother who Damon had wholeheartedly promised an eternity of misery. This was his brother who deserved the truth – if nothing else, he deserved the truth. "She's everything to me."
"I'm sure you've said that more than once in your lifetime. What makes Elena so different?" Stefan further questioned. It was painfully obvious that the thought of Elena not being different hurt Damon both emotionally and physically. The thought that she could be anything less than the love of his life was laughable.
"I'm not going to stand here and justify my feelings about Elena to you or to anyone else, you got it?" Damon announced firmly. Damon was feeling many things at that moment, the most dominant ones being pity for his brother and longing for the girl he'd left behind only hours ago. There Stefan was, standing right in front of him – and the only thing keeping Damon from ripping Stefan's head off in a fit of rage was that he didn't want a repeat of one hundred and forty five years ago. He didn't want to lose his brother over a girl…even if that girl was Elena.
"What do you want from her?" Stefan pressed, his forehead furrowing together in questioning confusion. "If you're just…screwing around with her for the thrill of the chase then I am begging you to call it off. She might actually have feelings for you; don't screw it up by playing her like the fool Katherine played us for. Elena deserves more than that."
"I know," Damon said curtly. He knew that Elena deserved it all – she deserved everything the world and man could offer her. She deserved to be held and to be kissed and loved. She deserved to smile more than she cried; she deserved to laugh more than she yelled. She deserved the world…and if he could, he'd give it all to her.
"Do you love her?" Stefan asked shortly. Damon was stunned by this question. Had he not made his feelings for Elena obvious? Had he not made it clear that Elena was the only one for him? Was Stefan that naïve to believe the charade his older brother had put on for the past two years?
"What do you think?" Damon replied as he rolled his eyes sarcastically.
"What I think and what is true are two very different things…I want to hear you say it," Stefan announced. Damon took a deep breath and readjusted his feet, now evenly spread apart as he let the weight of his feelings for Elena wash over both him and Stefan, threatening to drown them if they didn't tread carefully.
"I love her, Stefan. I'm in love with her. For your sake and maybe for hers I don't want to be…there are days that I wish I wasn't but I am…and she isn't someone I want just because I can't have her. I might not have her respect, but she has mine and so do you."
Stefan nodded in understanding. His arms were folded across his chest while his emerald eyes were fixed intently on the ceiling. Damon stood silently, his hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets while he gauged his brother's reaction. Much to his surprise, Stefan took a deep breath and nodded. It wasn't a nod out of agreement, but more of a gesture that Stefan had accepted something that was no longer in his control.
Stefan took a small step forward, sending Damon's muscles to lock into place – his body ready to bend into a defensive crouch. He was expecting the wrath of Stefan to include yelling and screaming, a punch to the jaw or maybe even a stake to the stomach. What he wasn't expecting, however, was Stefan's hands to brace Damon's shoulders – willing for his older brother to look him in the eye.
"You have her respect. Don't doubt that," Stefan said quietly.
"You have her heart," Damon retorted. A small smile of defeat flashed across Stefan's features as an exasperated breath escaped from his lips.
"Not anymore, I don't…but can I give you a piece of advice?" Stefan asked tentatively. Damon nodded hesitantly, his eyes narrowing as he listened to what his brother was going to say to him. "Elena is not the type of girl you walk away from if you can help it, so do yourself a favor. Don't break her heart, okay?"
"I won't," Damon promised.
This chapter was kind of hard to write but I feel like Stefan and Damon needed to have this conversation. I'm not sure how I feel about it but here it is. It's kind of just a filler chapter. Thanks for all the reviews so far.
240+ to continue (:
