Zookeepers?
Disclaimer: Dis be fan wank, do not read if you're looking for real substance. Do not read if you're looking for emotional depth exploring people's characters. Do not read, if you're looking for anything resembling canon outcome. Do not read if you love how JK Rowling, who owns the characters by the way (rather kinky don't you think?), originally ended the series and you can't imagine any other possible pairings. Oh, and don't read if you're against too damned complex poly-amorous relationships.
Author's notes: I am insane. Completely and utterly bonkers. Now, shoo and leave me to my fun.
-o-o-o-
"There's got to be something in here that tell us how we can defeat Voldemort!" Harry growled in frustration as he glanced around the library, ignoring the scandalized glare that Madam Pince sent him.
"Really, Harry, you expect to just have the information to drop in your lap if it's here?" Hermione glared mildly back at the boy as she gestured around the restricted section. "Do you have any idea of the kind of odds of finding the exact bit of information we need, when we don't even know what we're looking for?!"
"She's right, mate," Ron agreed with a quick nod of his head. "Not even you're that lucky."
"Luck…?" Harry paused a moment, before blinking slightly as he stared back at Ron. "Wait… it can't be that easy."
"Eh? What're you on about, Harry?" Ron blinked slightly as he stared at his friend.
"Harry?" Hermione blinked slightly as she stared at the boy. "What're you talking about? Luck?"
A slight grin on his face, Harry dipped his hand down and pulled out a familiar looking bottle as he looked towards Hermione and waggled his brows. "Felix Felicis."
"Harry, really, you don't think-" Hermione immediately began to object, even as Ron cut in.
"Cor, that's brilliant, Harry!" His eyes wide, Ron immediately grinned widely.
"Ronald Weasley! You can't honestly expect this to work!" Hermione glared at the boy as she huffed slightly, her eyes boring down on him.
"But, Hermione! It's Felix Felicis! Liquid Luck! You heard what Slughorn said!" Ron countered, his eyes gleaming, before he shrugged just a bit. "Besides, can't hurt, can it?"
Hermione opened her mouth a moment, before she blinked, staring back at the boy next to her before sighing slightly and slowly, carefully shaking her head. "No, I suppose it couldn't hurt… what else would Harry use it for anyway?"
"Well, Slughorn said it was enough for 12 hours…" Harry paused a moment, rubbing his chin lightly in thought before he grinned a bit back at them. "So, about a quarter of it then, to see about three hours worth of luck?"
"I suppose…" Hermione agreed reluctantly as she eyed her grinning friend. "You really can't…"
"Why not? It's magic, Hermione!" Harry grinned back at the girl as he opened up the bottle and after glancing around, took a careful swig with a grin.
Hermione groaned softly as she let her face fall into her hands and shook her head lightly, before she carefully spread one pair of fingers far enough apart for her to peak out with one eye. Harry smiled back at her, serenely before he stood up, grinning back at her as he lightly strolled down next to the book shelves. Pausing half way between them, he snagged a book, seemingly at random, followed by another, then a third before he strode back over to them, his grin still in place as he carefully set them into place in front of his friends.
"You can't be serious." Hermione stared back at the boy, her eyes incredulous as she crossed her arms about her chest.
Just grinning back at her Harry calmly picked up one of the books, and opened it up to a seemingly random page. "Hmm… Horucrux?" Blinking slightly Harry skimmed over the entry, reading into it before frowning just slightly. "Well that explains the diary, probably got a bit more… Hmm… Oh, that explains last year too."
Nodding to himself, Harry pushed the book and its entry over to the still disbelieving Hermione before the boy casually flicked open the next book, again, cracking it open to a particular entry and blinking slightly as he read through the information on it. This time, he remained silent, a thoughtful expression on his face as he nodded his head then shut the book, before pulling over the last, and again, opening it up to a seemingly random page.
"Well now, this looks positively delightful." Harry noted as he glanced down the entry before pulling out a quill parchment, making a note of the volume and page number before he would carefully and precisely write down the instructions written on it. At least, he thought he was writing them precisely, never quite noticing the slight changes he made as he jotted his notes down.
Hermione's face had shifted from that shocked disbelief, to growing horror as her eyes slipped up and immediately latched onto the scar atop his head. "Harry…"
"Yup, isn't it delightful?" Shaking his head then, Harry finished up his notes, before grinning back at his friends. "I'm going to the tower to pick something up, then I'm going to go talk to the Headmaster. Should have this all wrapped up in an hour at the most!"
Hermione sat there in a stupor as her friend smiled at her and then walked out of the library, before finally her mind caught up with what he said and she quickly spoke up. "HARRY!"
"SHH!"
-o-o-o-
"Harry, what brings you here tonight?" Albus Dumbledore blinked slightly as he peered over his half moon spectacles as he glanced down at the happily grinning boy in front of him. "Have you had any luck with Horace?"
"Nope, found something much better!" Harry said with a broad grin on his face as he pulled out his parchment and smiled happily at the man. "Do you happen to have the remains of any of Tom's Horucruxes about?"
Dumbledore blinked as he stared at the boy a moment, before wordlessly he reached down and carefully opened up a drawer with his shriveled hand to produce a ring and the destroyed diary. "Might I ask what exactly this is about?"
"Oh, it's really simple, actually." Harry grinned back at the man, as he nodded his head absently. "Oh, by the way, still have the Elder Wand on you?"
Dumbledore's eyes widened even further as he peered closely at Harry, even as the boy felt the gentlest probing of his mind as the man verified his identity, before with a wary nod, he carefully held up the wand in his good hand. Harry nodded happily as he held up his own wand before carefully unraveling the parchment, before with a sudden flick of his wrist, an Expelliarmus spell flew the tip of his wand. Catching the slightly befuddled professor completely off guard, the spell send the man's wand flying, as the boy quickly smiled apologetically to the man.
"Sorry about that, but I need all three for this to work properly." Harry whistled cheerfully as he carefully summoned the wand back to himself even as he plucked up the ring from the table then set the parchment down, reading over the spell once more. "Oh, and please do be careful not to interfere, this is probably going to be right painful, and I'd rather not end up possessed by Tom again."
"Harry, wait, what exactly…!" Dumbledore began even as Harry held up the Elder Wand, sent the man a wink and suddenly unleashed a massive burst of magic.
-o-o-o-
Tom Marvolo Riddle, more commonly known as Lord Voldemort paused just as he was about to cast a spell on a helpless victim, as he felt, rather… Odd. An instant later, his body collapsed and dissolved completely and utterly as Nagini convulsed and spasmed before going still. Elsewhere a diadem, a cup, and a locket glowed brightly, before they suddenly went still.
-o-o-o-
Harry grit his teeth against the pain flashing through him, the spell weaving itself perfectly right on the first try, luckily enough. The stone in his hand was glowing, brighter and brighter with each passing moment as a sudden tendril of energy began to flow into the ring directly from the scar on his brow. Moments later, five more tendrils joined it, from several different, unseen directions.
Dumbledore could only stand there, watching in complete and utter awe as the boy went to work, the spell itself appearing simple enough. Using the former receptacle of a piece of Tom Riddle's soul, along with another still anchored piece to call out to the remaining fragments, including the actual essence of the man that was holding together the homunculus he had been inhabiting. Forcing them into the former container.
A container, that unfortunately for said wizard, also happened to be one of the three Deathly Hallows. It, along with the Elder Wand, casting the spell, and the cloak settled about the boy's shoulders linked as only the three Hallows could. And with their tie to that aspect, that final aspect of life, they finished what should have been finished 15 years prior. With a strangled wail, the final cries of Tom Riddle could be heard, just before a sudden pulse of magical energy pushed back into Harry, , pouring back through his scar, before the boy collapsed backwards into a slowly, softly panting heap as he couldn't help but grin back at the absolutely flabbergasted man.
"Well, that was rather thrilling." The boy paused a moment, grimacing lightly before the grin returned. "Extremely unpleasant, but thrilling none the less."
"Harry, what exactly did you just do?" Dumbledore could only stare at the boy in mute, amazed shock as the sweat slick face smiled again back at him.
"Reunited the torn pieces of Tom's soul, using a former receptacle and the bit that was stuck in my scar, then, using the fact that our dear Mr. Riddle chose the absolutely worst possible magical artifact known to man to use for a Horucrux to banish said soul to the realm of the dead where it belonged." Harry's smile only grew as he again waggled his brows at the Headmaster. "Amazing what a little Felix Felicis in the restricted section can uncover, isn't it?"
"Harry, the odds of you finding just the information you needed..." Dumbledore blinked for a moment, staring back at the boy before sighing slightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his good hand. "Of course, hence the Felix Felicis."
"Worked out rather brilliantly I thought. How come we never thought of doing something like this before?"
"I... Don't know." The elderly man admitted as he slumped back into his chair.
"Well, here." Harry casually placed the Elder wand back on the man's desk with a grin. "I'll let you keep using it for now. Have to keep up appearances and what not, you know? You might want to let everyone know that the Voldemort problem has been taken care of."
He paused a moment, before frowning slightly as he stood up and adjusted his cloak. "Just... leave me out of it, will you? Better they think that the wise old man beat him, than the lucky kid, you know?"
And with that Harry grinned again before walking out of the office, leaving an absolutely stunned Dumbledore behind him.
-o-o-o-
"Oh, Hello Professor!" Harry smiled cheekily to the scowling face of his current Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher as they crossed paths in the hallway.
"Potter." The word left his lips like a curse as the man glared down his hooked nose at the boy. "And what, pray tell has gotten you so… cheerful?"
"Oh, I just finished banishing Voldemort to the realm of the dead for good. No more coming back for him." Harry smiled happily back at the man as he stretched out casually and grinned. "I'm free!"
"20 points from Gryffindor for telling such a blatant lie, Mr. Potter!" Snape's voice snarled out as he glared at the black haired boy. "And another five for your cheek!"
"Hey, no need to be rude! Some people just don't take good news well I suppose." Harry shook his head and smiled at the man. "Go ask the Headmaster, oh, and I do expect those points back." Not even waiting for the man to respond Harry turned and almost swaggered back to the Gryffindor dorms.
Blinking a moment, almost owlishly in disbelief, Snape opened his mouth once to reveal his stained, yellow teeth, before his jaw clicked shut and he stalked to the Headmaster's office.
-o-o-o-
"Headmaster, you need to tell that damned Potter brat to stop spreading foolish, childish lies-" Snape was ranting the moment he stepped into the man's office, not even glancing around until he caught sight of the man sitting dumbly behind his desk, calmly, and slowly sipping at a glass of whiskey. "…Sir…? Are you all right?"
"…Wha…? Oh, Severus, I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in." Dumbledore's eyes never strayed from where they stared at the wand on his desk, sitting next to the destroyed remains of a book. "Did you need something?'
"Potter told me a ridiculous story about how he defeated the Dark Lord as I was walking through the hallway, and…"
"As far as I can tell, he did."
"…What?" The Potions Professor stared at the dazed looking man in complete and utter shock. "But... but…"
"Severus, you're capable of brewing Felix Felicis, yes?" Dumbledore's glazed eyes hard sharpened only slightly as he looked up at the man.
"Well, yes, tricky, but doable." The man agreed with a slight nod of his head as he stared back at the man.
"Then, pray tell, why didn't we ever use any when we were trying to find a way to defeat Tom?" Dumbledore's glazed eyes continued to stare out as he gently nursed the drink in his hand.
Snape paused a moment, as he stared at the man in front of him as the meaning behind the man's words slowly sank in. "Oh… Bloody… LUCK!? Potter used LUCK to beat him?!" With a flick of his wrist, a blank piece of parchment transfigured itself into a steep glass as the man immediately poured himself a hefty drink as he collapsed back into his seat. "You realize, of course, he's going to be completely insufferable now, yes?"
"Severus… I'm afraid you're forgetting certain things." Dumbledore's eyes sharpened into clarity once more as he lifted up his desiccated, blackened hand.
"Oh, bugger. The Oath." Snape somehow paled even further as he practically swallowed the entire glass in a single gulp.
"And I am still dying." The man agreed with a nod of his head. "And there are your… former associates to deal with."
Pulling back his sleeve, Severus stared as he could see the Dark Mark faded to only a faint collection of greys atop a scar in its shape. "Well, Bellatrix will be no small amount of trouble to deal with."
"Perhaps then, you and your Godson could, oh, how shall we say… Lure me into a trap?" Dumbledore offered up, his eyes twinkling brilliantly.
"You don't mean to…"
"I'm dying, Severus," Dumbledore said with a grave smile on his face as he smiled at the man before him. "I plan to make my death a meaningful thing, this way, both you and young Draco will have a chance to live your lives without that weight hanging over your heads."
"Bloody hell." Snape growled softly before he shoved his glass forward. "No way in hell I'm planning this sober."
"Yes, quite." The old man agreed as he poured them both another glass, pausing a moment as he smiled slightly. "I do think I'll take a time to say good bye to an old friend first though."
-o-o-o-
"Harry!" Hermione was immediately on her feet as Harry happily strolled his way into the Gryffindor Common room. "What happened?!"
"Oh, a little of this, a little of that." The boy offered up blandly as he grinned back at the girl. "You know how it is. Cast a spell a spell to banish a Dark Lord without any practice and being lucky enough for it to work."
"... Did you just say what I think you said, mate?" Ron's eyes widened into saucers as he stared at the boy in front of him. "You mean…?"
"It better stay officially as the result of Dumbledore's long years of hard work investigating into a way of permanently banishing the Dark Lord." Harry grumbled softly as he lightly shifted just a bit then stretched back. "So, who's up for a party?"
-o-o-o-
Harry groaned softly as he slowly shifted and pushed himself up, his eyes bleary and unfocused as he struggled against the warm, soft weights he could feel pressing down on his body. Blurry, indistinct shapes surrounded him, with fuzzy, tickling warmth at his sides. Distantly he felt himself trace back over the night, and yet, to his mounting horror, he came across his last, distinct memory of the night.
Sharing a drink with Ron, Neville and the Weasley twins, both of whom were grinning triumphantly at the end. That was never good. The whole fuzzy memories that might as well be a blackout also leaned towards that assumption.
Slowly, his rather confused mind began to process the sensations he was feeling. There was skin pressed to his own, and he was quite naked, that much he was certain of. As a brilliant blush rose across his face, he made not of certain... other sensations, fur, feathers, and... scales?
His hands slowly began to fumble around, searching for his glasses. A wing, rather large too, feathers, a warm, soft mound of... ok, soft mound of flesh triggering VERY feminine moans. Quickly moving his hand away, he found his arm pulling out of a very firm grasp. Moving again, he felt around his pillow, before finally lucking out as he located his glasses. When he slipped them on, he slowly took in the scene around him then let off a soft sigh.
"Oh, bloody bugger it all." Muttering softly under his breath, he looked around and made a slow count of the bodies he shared the bed with. "1, huh, I didn't know Susan looked THAT good under her clothes,2, 3... both bloody Patils? Huh, still cute though... 4... I think that's Tracey, huh, who knew scales could look cute in moderation? 5... Daphne? Huh... paler than usual, and those feathers look... hmm... Ok, bad thoughts."
"Harry," Tracey's voice murmured in a soft, melodic hiss as feathered wings shifted lightly on her back. "Sssome of usss are trying to sssleep."
"Um, Tracey?" The boy looked down at the girl curled up against himself and Daphne. "Were you human when you went to sleep?"
"Of courssse," Her eyes cracked open to reveal slitted snake eyed orbs of a soft, amethyst hue. "Why?"
"Um, you might want to look at yourself and everyone else..." Harry shifted slightly and groaned just a bit as he could feel her shifting back, in a far more... stimulating manner. "A-and... please, don't do that!"
"Huh, you weren't complaining when I did it lassst night," A slow, lecherous grin curled over her features, before she carefully pushed up just a bit, then blinked slightly as she glanced down at where her hand rested on his chest, or more precisely, on the patch of rainbow hued scales from her wrist almost to her knuckles. "That'sss new."
"You've uh... got a lot of them," Harry blushed lightly as he noted the almost elegant dispersal of scales along her body, how they shimmered above her eyes like eye shadow, and highlighted her cheeks. "And, uh... might wanna look at your back."
Looking over her shoulder, she blinked again as she beheld the brilliantly colored wings that spread from her back. "That'sss new too. Merlin, what happened lassst night?"
"Honestly?" Harry shivered lightly as he could feel the soft tip of her feathers brushing up his chest as she examined one wing. "Last thing I remember was having a drink with Ron, Neville and the Twins."
"Oh, then you don't remember anything elssse?" Her voice almost purred as she grinned lecherously down at him. "That'sss a ssshame. It wasss... magnifisssent!"
"You do realize you're hissing your 'S's right?" Harry paused a moment, before slipping into parseltongue. "Sssome people might find that disssturbing."
"Eh, worssse things to be doing. And tell me, do you find it disssturbing, Harry?" she hissed back as she slowly shifted down and lay herself fully against his chest, her face inches from his own. "Mmm... Warm."
"You're handling this remarkably well," Harry noted as he slipped back into English and wrapped his one free arm around her waist. "A lot calmer than I'd have expected."
"Yesss, well, you mentioned the Weasssley twinsss." She pointed out, grinning slightly in turn. "Ssso, I imagine thisss will wear off sssoon enough."
"Um... Maybe." Harry groaned softly as he felt her wiggling in a very distracting manner, his eyes closing slightly. "Though... I'm wondering how they made you a parselmouth."
"What...?" This actually brought the redhead up short as she blinked wide, jewel like snake eyes at him.
"I played a hunch... slipped into parseltongue in the middle of our conversation, and you not only understood, you responded the same way." Harry answered simply as he would lightly brush his fingers against her feathers. "Which makes a bit of sense, considering what I think you got somehow mixed with."
"Sssit up," he hissed suddenly in parseltongue, watching with a slight grin on his lips as she instantly responded, her body arching back as her wings instinctively spread out to help balance herself. "Armsss behind your back."
"H-h-harry?" Tracey squeaked slightly as she instantly responded, her body seeming to obey all on her own as she blushed brilliantly as she displayed herself so completely. "What...? Why...?"
"Don't know to be honessst." He hissed back before grinning slightly up at her. "You can lay down again."
She paused a moment, her hands moving back in front of her as she let a soft, liquid whimper escape her lips even as she slowly curled down against his chest and kissed her way up to his neck to his ear. "Merlin and Morgana, that made me hot, Harry."
"Mmph... do you have to be so loud?" Daphne's voice was a musical trill, even as it grumbled past her lips, while she rubbed at slowly opening, brilliant ruby eyes. As she blew a lose, limp length of white plumage out of her eyes, she squinted her eyes then sighed as she curled up a bit more against Harry's side as her white blonde wings shifted behind her. "Insatiable much, Tracey? Didn't you get enough last night?"
"I don't recall you complaining, Daphne." Tracey countered with a slight smirk even as she lightly flicked her tongue against Harry's neck. "Mmm… Tasssty."
"Ugh, it's too early for this." Daphne murmured back as she reflexively pulled a wing over her face and hid beneath it. "Lemme sleep until it's a reasonable hour… like after noon."
"Mmm… Warm." Tracey gave a hissing purr as she instinctively pulled herself to nestle against both Harry and Daphne. "You got nice and comfy, Daph."
"Ugh, why won't you…" Daphne had snapped her eyes open for a moment, before blinking at the white feather's she seen in her face. Feathers, attached to a wing she could feel attached to her back. "Well, that's new…"
"Weasley twins." Harry told her simply as he lounged back and made no move to get up, before feeling oddly curious. "Daphne? Sit up."
The girl was up before she even fully processed the command, before blinking almost owlishly down at Harry, staring at their naked bodies even as she reflexively spread her wings to steady herself, giving him quite the display. "Wha… huh?"
"Interesting." Harry remarked as he leaned back. "You can lay back down if you want now." Pursing his lips he shrugged slightly and half closed his eyes. "Well, whatever happened, I seem to be able to tell you what to do." He paused a moment once more before shrugging. "And, judging by things… you've all been crossed with animals of some kind, other than Susan, apparently all magical."
Not laying back out immediately, Daphne twisted slightly as she looked around, blinking a bit as she studied the Patil twins and Bones girl. "Huh… who knew Bones looked that good under her clothes?"
"I know, rather brilliant isn't it?" Harry remarked as he yawned, then looked towards the three still sleeping beauties. "Girls? Wake up."
Three resulting groans answered back while Harry lightly pushed up a bit on the bed, resting his back against the headboard as Daphne and slid back down to his side and Tracey curled contentedly against his chest. His fingers lightly slipped out, stroking through the plumage that had replaced Daphne's hair as he listened to the contented little trill she gave off. Making a mental note, he nodded to himself before studying the roused Patil twins.
"Mmph." One of them grunted softly as she lightly rubbed at her eyes, her mocha skin smooth and soft as she pushed some raven black plumage away from her cat eyes while her matching tail flicked lightly behind her ebony wings. "Oof, what the bloody hell? Harry? Damn, what was in those drinks?"
"Really, Pavarti." The second twin chided lightly as she her curling black locks of hair fell casually against her face while a pair of cat ears twitched slightly, standing in contrast to the otherwise identical features of the girl. "Language."
"Oh, go bugger yourself, Padma." Parvarti shot back as her tail twitched lightly in irritation.
"Wow… This is really weird." Susan Bones noted as she shifted just a bit, her nose twitching slightly even as her cute little fluffy rabbit tail twitched and hear long, soft ears pulled back flat against her head. "Weasley twins?"
"Yup." Came the chorus of responses from the two Slytherin girls and Harry.
"Hmm…" The girl paused a moment, tapping her lower lip thoughtfully, before suddenly grinning down right lecherously as she dove forward and snuggled in between Tracey and Daphne on Harry's chest. "Mmm warm!"
"Well, that was oddly… unsurprising." Harry noted with a blink as he reached down and lightly stroked Susan's ears. "So… Weird how all of you have wings but Susan."
"No." Padma spoke up as she casually fixed her eyes on Daphne. "What's weird, is that Greengrass here is a apparently themed after a bird… Phoenix if I'm not mistaken while the rest of us seem to at least reasonably fit our houses."
"Reasonably?" Harry put forth, a brow arched.
"If I'm not mistaken, I'm modeled after a sphinx, where as my sister is a gryphon." The Ravenclaw noted as she gestured from herself to her sister. "Hence her having plumage, and I have hair and cat ears."
"And Tracey's a coatl." Harry noted with a nod of his head. "With Sue here being a very… affectionate little bunny."
"…Little?" The girls chorused with an amused smirk on their lips, even as the Bones girl herself blushed brightly.
"I was more interested in the rather affectionate manner you all seem to be disregarding our rather lack of clothing." Harry noted as he blushed himself. "As, based on Daphne and Tracey, you all remember our experiences last night?"
At their nods, Harry hung his head and muttered slightly. "Wonderful, as I most certainly don't seem to remember a thing after having a drink with the twins."
"Was there anyone else we should worry about waking up in a… similar position?" Padma arched a brow curiously even as she proudly crawled up and curled against Harry's free side, while her sister joined her a moment later.
"Um… you five aren't going to be letting me up anytime soon, are you?" Harry noted with a slight gulp was he felt himself almost completely buried in soft, female flesh.
"Not willingly." Tracey admitted as she lightly flicked her tongue out against his neck. "Though, you've already demonssstrated you have a none too weak control over usss."
"True." Harry admitted as he could feel his fingers of one hand lightly scratching against one of the base of one of the Patils' tails, causing a soft contented purr to fill the air. "And, to answer Padma's question… I had the drink with Ron, Neville and the twins themselves."
"Think the twins would experiment on themselves?" Daphne asked curiously as she lightly wrapped one wing about herself and Susan as her melodic voice slipped into the air.
"They've done it before." Pavarti and Harry answered in unison, the Patil twin blushing slightly as she spoke even as Harry continued. "And if they thought they might find themselves ending up in a situation like this…?"
"HARRY!" The door was flung open, as the twins in question suddenly burst, their eyes wide and their bodies naked. "You have to help… oh, sorry, looks like you're even worse off than we are."
"Worse?" Harry and the girls echoed, a slight quirk of amusement in their voices even as the girls pulled the sheets up to cover their naked bodies.
"Yes, well…" One of the twins started.
"…We seem to have…"
"Found ourselves…"
"In a bit of a pickle." They admitted before suddenly a familiar trio of faces popped up, behind the twins, all glaring angrily at the pair.
"Alicia, Angelina, Katie, delightful to see you." Harry offered up cheekily at the irate and rather nude trio of chasers that were his former teammates, each sporting a pair of fox ears and tails, though Katie sprouted more than just one. "You're all looking rather lovely this morning. So, what can I do for my favorite Flying Foxes?"
As the girls all rolled their eyes from their pile atop the boy, the three older girls in question turned their baleful looks onto a bemused looking Harry as Angelina spoke up. "Potter, were you in on this?"
"Nope!" The boy shook his head with a chuckling grin. "I don't even remember what happened. One minute I'm having drink with my second favorite pair of twins, the next I'm waking up in a bed with these lovelies."
"Second…"
"Favorite?" The Weasley's spoke up, slightly affronted as they pouted back at Harry.
"Gred, Forge, have you LOOKED to see who I'm in bed with?" Harry immediately nodded meaningfully towards the Patils. "I'm sorry, but you simply don't measure up to these lovely little kittens."
"Ah, yes…"
"We completely understand."
"You're taking this awfully well for someone who just woke up in a situation like this with no memory of how he got there." Katie noted as she studied the boy in bed with the five girls.
"…Katie, think back on all my years at Hogwarts." Harry shot back as he shrugged as best he could. "All things considered… I'm still fairly certain I'll wake up from this lovely dream and go back to being a lonely virgin."
"Ah, in shocked denial." Alicia noted with a slight smirk on her lips. "That sounds more like the Harry we know." Turning her head, she glared down at the twins before stalking over, grabbing each by one of their ears and starting to drag them towards the door. "Well, we'll leave you to your shock, while we're dealing with these two."
"You might want to check on Ron and Neville too." Harry offered helpfully as he watched the door shut before closing his eyes and resting his head back against the pillow as he felt five incredulous eyes on him.
"Virgin?!" Was the simple, incredulous chorus from five unified voices.
"Err, yes?"
"Well, I guessss that doesss explain the eagernessss and lack of any real ssskill." Tracey noted with a slight smirk on her lips as she nibbled on his bare chest. "Very, very eager though."
"Definitely enthusiastic." Susan agreed before she smirked slightly up at Harry. "If a bit rough on certain things, leaving me a bit sore."
Harry blushed brightly and closed his head. "Eh heh… Sorry?"
"Eh, we'll work on it." The redhead responded with a slight smirk on her lips as her eyes twinkled playfully.
"… Errr… we will?" Harry was staring now, blinking again as he slowly looked from one girl to the next, before he swallowed, heavily and spoke in a bare whisper. "I'm not dreaming, am I?"
"Nope!" Five voices chorused back at him cheerfully.
-o-o-o-
Neville blinked slowly as the world slowly came into focus, forcing his mind back onto the last string of memories he could recall. The Weasley twins smiling. Oh, bugger.
Slowly glancing around Neville took a moment and made a slow, quite count. "One, two, three… four? Oh, dear…"
It was then that the door chose to swing wide open to reveal a pair of familiar faces. "Neville!"
The twins paused a moment, and blinked as they made note of one of the nude figures strewn out across Neville's chest. "GINNY?!"
"Huh…? Wot…?" The red headed girl in question blinked sleep glazed, golden eyes a bit as she looked up and made note of her brothers as round, lion like ears twitched atop her head and her thick, golden tail twitched a bit. "Lemme sleep, 'fore I hex the both of you."
"Mum is going to kill us." One of the twins noted.
"Slowly and painfully." His brother agreed, just before they were both again grabbed by their ears.
"OW!"
"Um, err…" Neville was stumbling over his words for a moment as he stared down at the girl curled up against his chest, the ones at his side, the one between his legs then stared even more as the twins were pulled a bit further into the room, to reveal the still irate forms of Alicia, Angelina and Katie.
The girls took one look at the bed then glanced back at the still horrified looking twins, then glanced to the broadly blushing Neville who was attempting to shrink back into the bed. Finally Angelina sighed and released whichever of the twins' ear she held. "Dammit, they were telling the truth."
"What makes you say that?" Alicia asked curiously, not releasing the hold she kept on her own twin's ear.
"That's Ginny right there." Katie offered as she pointed to the lounging cat girl top Neville's chest. "No way these two would risk a chance of her getting caught up in something like this. Hmm… Only four of em at least."
"Only?!" Neville squeaked out as he stared incredulously at the girls.
"Harry has five." Angelina deadpanned as she looked at the girls even as her tail twitched behind her, her eyes glued to the blonde girl with shimmering scales curled up between Neville's legs. "Most of his have wings and feathers though."
"Harry?" Ginny blinked a bit more into awareness before she glanced down, note her lack of clothing, well, the lack of clothing of pretty much everyone before looking up at the boy she was perched atop. "Oh, hey Nev… Oh, bugger… Dean is going to be pissed off."
"Someone… please… please tell me this is a dream and I'm going to wake up soon?" Neville hoped with a slight whimper of fear.
"Mmm…? Dream?" The dirty blonde head that was resting between his legs looked up to reveal Luna Lovegood, blinking at him as she lightly nibbled on a pewter hued, scaled tail. "My, you seem to have gotten a nasty wrackspurt infestation."
Soft, incoherent mutterings could be heard, though as they rose, they were quite obviously not in English as he looked down to see a petite, Asian girl at his side. Her face decorated with patches of crimson scales, a pair of horns jutting out the back of her head, with a flowing, fin-like crest running down her spine and along her tail. A single eye cracked open, to reveal a slitted, blue orb before she shut it again and curled more firmly against Neville's side.
"Well, yes, I suppose it is a rather rude way to be woken up, but no need for such language, Su Li." Luna chided lightly before she smiled up at Neville dreamily.
The oriental girl snorted slightly, a slight mushroom of flame appearing in the air even as she curled more tightly against Neville's side. On the other side, a blonde, her mussy hair done up in pigtails, shifted, her grey wolf ears twitching slightly as her matching tail twitched just a bit along with her leg. As Neville stared a moment, he could see the edge of her pink tongue sticking out of her mouth, before he turned his head back to the amused looking foxes and the still horrified twins.
"Help?"
"Longbottom, we left Harry all alone with even more girls, and we've still got to go check on your kitten's brother." Angelina spoke up, a slight smirk on her lips as her eyes twinkled wickedly. "So, what makes you think we wouldn't leave you in the same predicament?"
"You're a kind and generous person, who wouldn't leave someone who DOESN'T regularly face down Dark Lords in a position like this?" The boy offered almost desperately as he pleaded with his eyes.
"Nice try." Alicia smirked softly back at the boy and shook her head just a bit. "Do have fun."
As the twins were dragged away, Neville glanced down at the purring girl on his chest, and groaned audibly. "Bugger, Dean is gonna kill me."
-o-o-o-
In a slow, shocked procession, the twins allowed themselves to be lead to the final room, their eyes glassy with shock. For a moment, they blinked slightly at the scene in front of them, before their faces somehow paled even further. Glancing for a moment at one another, they then turned their heads and turned towards the three girls accompanying them and as one, spoke in a dead tone. "Now are you convinced?"
"What? So your brother is in bed with Brown, Granger and... Oh, bloody..." Alicia spoke up, before suddenly paling visibly as she stared at the third girl laying naked in the bed.
It was then, that they heard the slight giggle of amusement escaping Angelina's lips as she caught sight of the girl herself, before quickly growing into a full on laugh that rapidly awoke the sleeping redhead.
"Wot...? Huh? Whazzat?" Eyes glazed and unseeing, Ron vaguely recognized the identical mops of red hair and reflex immediately kicked in. "What did you do to me this time?"
Wordlessly, the twins raised their fingers and pointed to the three girls occupying the bed with the boy. Blinking slightly Ron stared for a moment before turning his head and leveling a look at his brothers. "If I wasn't a dead man, I'd kill you both."
The twins nodded wordlessly as they merely stared at the feathered forms of Hermione Granger and Lavender Brown, along with the unconscious, dog eared and dog tailed form of Pansy Parkinson.
"Well, at least it's only three, right?" Katie offered up with a slight, mischievous grin on her face. "It's not like he's gotta worry about dying from exhaustion like Harry does with his five." She paused a moment, before lightly tapping her lower lip. "And, he's only got one snake, instead of two like Harry. And it could have been worse."
Ron turned his attention fully onto Katie, his mind going blank at the full implications of her words rising only to catch the last part of her statement. "Worse?"
"You could've ended up with Ginny in your bed like Longbottom."
Slowly, Ron's head turned towards the blank, grim faces of his brothers, before slowly he spoke. "You two are going to die. Slowly, and painfully."
"We know."
"Actually, I think I'll ask Harry if he knows how Voldemort kept coming back, just so we can each have a turn killing you two." Ron slowly canted his head to the side in consideration. "I'm sure Charlie would like to know which species of dragon digests their still squirming prey the slowest."
"We get the point already." The twins glared slightly at their younger brother, and huffed just a bit.
"And I'm sure Bill has some Egyptian curses he'd love to try out…" Ron continued to muse aloud as he let his mind slowly wander. "Maybe some type of rotting curse?"
"Ron…"
"I don't know, he's on a roll here." Angelina spoke up, grinning softly as her arms crossed about her chest.
"I suppose we really should save these two." Alicia sighed as she cut in, before grinning darkly as she suddenly screamed. "OI! WAKE UP YOU THREE!"
With a start, three groggy heads immediately shot up and blearily looked around, as their eyes slowly came into focus. A moment later, one of them finally spoke. "Won-won!"
"Gaaaaah!" Ron winced as he was practically crushed by the rainbow plumaged Lavender. "Help?"
"Ronald Weasley! How could you!" Hermione blushed brilliantly as she quickly crossed her arms about her bare chest. "What the bloody hell did you give us?!"
"… Oh god, someone kill me now!" Pansy whimpered softly as she shrunk in on herself. "The weasel… the mudblood… the bimbo… Oh god, someone oblivate me!"
"Not me! Twins!" Ron managed to choke out as he discovered that Lavender's feathers didn't just make him want to start laughing when they brushed against his skin.
"Sorry interrupt, girls, but there are a few things you should know." Katie spoke up, even as she lightly crossed her arms about her chest and chuckled quietly. "First off, he probably doesn't remember a thing about what happened last night after he had a drink with the twins."
Ron nodded vigorously at that, while Lavender blinked a moment before pouting in disappointment. "Not a thing? But he was an absolute animal!"
"Tell me about it." Pansy muttered just a bit as she shifted slightly. "I've never been this sore before."
"… Not your first time rutting, eh Parkinson?" Angelina smirked back at the girl her eyes dancing with amusement as she shook her head.
"Oh, shut up." Pansy blushed brightly even as she glared back at the girl. "Like any of you three are ones to talk! I've actually HEARD some of the noises you've made with your boy toys over the years."
"Mmm?" Angelina arched a brow slightly before shrugging just a bit. "Half the time you probably heard our girl toys, not us."
"Ugh, that's disgusting!" Pansy made a face as she fought down a shudder. "It's bad enough I have to endure that halfblood Davis leering over Greengrass!"
"Tracey Davis? Well, considering the state we last saw her and Greengrass in, I don't think you have to worry about her leering much anymore." Alicia spoke up, smirking just slightly as she crossed her arms about her chest. "Last we saw them, they were both leering more at Harry than anything."
Ron blinked a moment as he managed to escape Lavender's almost death grip on him to catch the former chaser's statement. "Harry's in bed with Greengrass and Davis? Figures that if he was gonna end up in bed with a snake, he'd get the two best looking ones…. OW!"
Hermione glared at the redhead as she lowered her hand and grumbled slightly. "Stop that, Ron."
"Second," Katie continued smirking just slightly as she shook her head. "Harry and Neville are in the same boat as you, though they have more girls in their beds."
"Oh, just bloody brilliant."
